Hi! Again, another thing. This is sorta supposed to be like a newspaper article.
                                                                   Fallen Champion
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         Goliath of Gath was killed in battle by a juvenile Israelite delinquent named David.
He was survived by his 120 year old granny, his 80 year old pro gladiator mother named Big Old Rocker, and his 20 year old sister. He was 40 years old. Goliath Rocker was know as " a gentle giant who wouldn't hurt a single little locust". {<- look at the punctuation mistake right there.} Goliath was an expert donkey tamer. His pet mule's name was Stone, due to his stubbornness. Goliath was a volunteer at the Rocky Rescue Center. He was a charity owner who loved to give the little homeless and orphaned children the common necessities of life, and he also liked that look they gave him, that look of gratitude. When he was a child, Goliath's father deserted the army, thus Goliath had to join the army at the very young age of 9 years old.
His casket will contain nothing but his bones, due to the fact that after he was killed the wild creatures opened Stone Dead Casino. His mule died only a week after his master, possibly because of a broken heart. The casket shall be closed and his faithful mule will be buried right beside him.
The service will be held on Sunday, at the Mineral Life Funeral Home.
There will be stone soup, rock'n roll will be played, and he will be buried in a stone-cased coffin.
The stone that killed him is currently on display at the Pebble Museum of History.
*facepalms at the horrible puns* and I still got an A on this. Maybe it was an A+. I can't remember.