Chapter 4

Louis *POV*

I go to see the doctor today. He will be taking out my stitches and also taking an ultrasound to see how it's healing.

I get into the car and drive to the doctor. He sits in his chair looking through my papers and I knock silently on the door.

"Hi Lou.. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay.. I could barely drive here though.. I don't know if it's safe for me to be on the roads I had a panic attack on my way here." I explain.

"I think you should seek therapy.. I mean get the panic attacks in control." The doctor says and I nod, "let's get the stitches out and then we will talk some more about coping with Harry and these attacks."

I nod and lie down on the bed set up with a paper sheet running along it. I lift my shirt up and he begins to take the stitches out. One by one I feel the tug and pull. Soon enough he is done and he is rubbing some ointment on my scar.

"Okay Lou.. Let's talk about Harry and how you can help." The doctor says as I sit up.

Harry *POV*

That Louis guy there is something about him that makes me feel like we use to be close. I mean he and I were together when the car crash happened so I presume we were close step-brothers. I'm glad I'm away from my old school.

Getting bullied for being gay and being able.... Never mind.

I'm gay but I probably already told you that.. Does Louis know?

I sit here pondering over Louis and attempting to retrieve some sort of memory.

"Harry?" My dad asks.

"Yah Dad?" I ask as I come from my mumbled thoughts.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.. You would have to drive Louis home since he isn't aloud to drive anymore." Dad says.

"Why not?"

"Louis had a panic attack on the way to the doctors to he's gotta stay off driving and since he brought his car I need you to bring it back." Dad explains and I get up.

"Okay let's go then." I say.

"Have you remembered anything?" My dad asks.

"Not yet but I'm still trying." I smile and my dad gives me a side hug.

"That's my boy!"

I grab my dark shades and go into dad's car. We begin our drive to Louis and I sit quietly. I hear the sound of a few boys yelling as we wait in traffic.

Memory:

"Look at the twat! What a faggot. You know you were meant to be a woman. The doctors proved it." A tall boy yells at me.

I hear other boys laughing and in the back of all the yelling from my bully I hear some more yelling.. Not like my bullies though it was muted from being far in the distance and more happier like two kids.

"Just go away." I say and he shakes his head.

"Naaa I'm going to bug you for the rest of the year Faggot.. A good 9 months until the year is over.. Maybe you'll -"

"Shut up!" I yell as I get pushed to the ground.

"Don't tell me to shut up. Welcome to hell bitch." The big figure leaves.

*********

I notice another figure pound his fist into his hand.

"Leave me alone." I say trying to walk away as he pushes me down to the cold sidewalk. I notice the snow on the ground .. It's snowing?

"Not a chance fag you don't deserve a Christmas." The tall framed guy says and I cower into my knees as he kicks me rapidly.

******

I hear kids yelling in the distance as Zayn walks me home, "it's going to be okay Harry."

"Why me? I didn't do anything to them." I mutter as I look down to see a huge tea stain from my chest to my pants.

"I know Harry.. But on the plus side you have mystery boy to go home to." Zayn winks.

"Harry?!" My dad asks shaking me.

"Dad.. I think.. I think I had a few memories." I mutter.

"Wait.. You did?" He asks smiling.

"Not good ones.. They were me being bullied.. For you know.." I mumble.

"Oh Harry.. I wish you had some better memories of this year.. But trust me you have to keep remembering because after all those bullying days you met Louis and everything was good." My dad says and I nod wiping my eyes.

We walk into the doctors office and see Louis on his phone in the waiting room.

"Oh good your here!" Louis says, "I mean you can only play brick breaker for so long."

I laugh and smile at him. "I remembered something today." I smile.

"You did?! What was it?!" Louis asks with hope laced in through his voice.

"It wasn't pleasant.. It was the beginning of the year.. Winter and some other time in spring I think.. Me being bullied." I say looking at my fingers.

"Harry.. It's okay.. Those guys no longer bother you." Louis smiles and I look up at him.

"What ever happened to Zayn?" I ask.

"He's in Cheshire.. Bout to open his own tattoo place actually." Louis explains and I smile.

"He always said he wanted to do so." I say and Louis nods. "So I'm driving you back home."

Louis *POV*

"Okay.. And I have therapy every Saturday starting this Saturday so in 2 days and I will need a ride to and from." I explain.

"I can do it!" Harry smiles.

"Thanks Harry." I smile back and we walk out to my car. I unlock it and we both take a seat inside. I sit in the passenger seat and him in the driver. I hand him the keys and he starts the car.

"So Louis tell me about yourself." Harry says as he drives towards the house listening to the GPS.

So I can tell him about me just not me and him.. Okay I think I can.

"I'm 20 now but we- I mean I was skipping on year of school before we- I mean I went to music school. I want to be a drama and music teacher. I also always wanted to live on a large plot of land with a few animals and two kids. But I'm gay so I don't think I can make them but I don't mind adopting." I explain.

"Okay do you know about me then?" He asks.

"Yea.. Your Harry and your younger then me by a year but I had started school a year late that's why we- sorry I can't talk about us.. So your 19 and you use to be bullied because your gay and you want a little girl. But your afraid you won't be a good dad but I always think you will.. Your favorite cake is chocolate mouse and you always sleep in sweats incase there is to be a fire so you don't have to stand out in your boxers." I explain. Leaving out the part where he likes to sleep in just boxers if I'm there.

"Yah.. So we were close then if you know that stuff." Harry says and I nod.

"We were super close." I say.

************

Sometimes I just want to take pregnancy pills - not for their purpose but for the possible chance OF NEVER HAVING MY PERIOD!!!

I'm actually so irritated I can't like I'm so alone ..!!

Anyways sorry bout the rampage but I can't even handle it!

Hope you liked the chapter and the book thus far.