12
they could never hate you, jeno
☆*:.｡.☆彡.｡.:*☆

jaemin, by all means, was sick and tired of studying all day and night.

his professor was super sweet for his introduction to zoology class, so it wasn't even that that was the problem, his only problem class was currently his introduction to molecular biology.

by no means was jaemin stupid, but this class was just about to make him claw at the walls and tear a pillow up with his teeth.

the library was his only sanctuary at the given moment, brain dumping everything he knew onto a whiteboard and then proceeding to go through too many slides and writing everything down in his notebook just so he'd be able to at least retain some of the information.

the entire semester, jaemin had been focused on everything except what was legitimately important.

dejun, his friends, jeno...

jeno.

it's not like they weren't important to him, but he was pouring a little too much time into all of them. if he doesn't pass this class, his grade drops down to a D+; which he really doesn't want because then that means he ultimately fails the class and has to retake it again and he really REALLY doesn't want that.

the current time was 2am and he was still in the library scribbling down text from the slideshow. he was barely even halfway through the god damn thing.

would he kill to be able to do literally anything else right now.

"this is so--" jaemin begins talking to himself as his pen glides along the lines of the paper, "i hate this stupid class, i hate this stupid slideshow, i don't hate my prof., but i do hate that this final is over one-hundred questions."

he continues to look up from his paper every 2 seconds and then back to his paper so that he could write it all down and then maybe have any sort of chance of at least getting an 86.

well, he needed an 86 to get a C+ in the class anyways. this felt like life or death and he would never be able to forgive himself if he got his score back with an 85 staring right into his soul.

jaemin doesn't even notice the way the chair is pulled out next to him and a laptop set next to his own. the honey haired boy was too busy trying to get everything down to really pay attention to anything else.

it wasn't until a vitamin drink was placed onto his keyboard that he finally notices the presence next to him and his neck nearly breaks turning over to see who had the audacity to stop him from studying. (if you could even really call it that.)

"i knew i'd find you here."

"what are you doing out this late, jeno?"

jeno shurgs his shoulders, turning back over to flip his laptop open, "dorm was cold, so i decided to come here since you said it was warmer." he types down his password and jaemin watches as his desktop appears.

it was a picture of him and all of their friends from high school-- the same picture he had as his lock screen.

"now that i think about it, i've never seen your desktop before." jaemin cracks open the bottle of vitamins and takes a small sip, the dryness in his mouth disappearing as soon as the liquid touched his tongue.

"oh... yeah, it's been like this since the day we took the picture." jeno mumbles out, opening his browser and heading over to his google docs. "i have an essay that's due at ten-o'clock tomorrow, figured i might as well do it now."

"ten... at night, right?"

"no, ten in the morning." jeno laughs out, his finger tracing the trackpad to be able to click on the empty document that was titled, "drug use and juvenile delinquency".

damn, he really hasn't gotten started yet.

"why did you wait until the last second to do this?!" jaemin questions, shocked that jeno had put something so important off.

jeno scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, "i was going to do this earlier tonight, but i got distracted."

both boys were now staring blankly at the document in front of them. jeno not really knowing where to start and jaemin appalled at the fact that jeno hadn't even started yet.

"well," jaemin places the now empty bottle of vitamins on the table next to his notebook, "did... you need any help?"

jeno shakes his head, "i think i'll be okay, it only needs to be a thousand words anyway."

ONLY???

"jeno--"

"i have a good grade in this class, so i'm not worried about it." jeno quips before pushing his laptop away and taking some flashcards out of his pocket, "however, i heard from a little bird that you were struggling with molecular biology."

little bird??? who the hell...

jaemin only nods, not really sure where this was going or who told him he wasn't exactly having a fun time studying for his finals. not that he was really complaining, he could use the extra company. it feels like it's been days since the last time he talked to someone outside of jaehyun and taeil.

"well... i also managed to grab the slideshow you're working on from another little bird in your class."

that one is definitely shotaro.

jeno shuffles the abnormally large deck of flashcards in his hands, giving jaemin a large smile, "i decided to make these for you to help you study."

HUH???

"jeno, that's a lot of work to be putting into a class that you're not even in--"

"it really is the least i can do for you right now..."

jaemin wasn't sure if there was another motive behind this, if he simply just made them to try to get on his good side or because he actually gave a fuck.

but when he thinks about it a little more while observing the deck in jeno's hands, he starts to think it really was because he cared. making flashcards was no small feat, especially for a slideshow that had well over 200+ slides in it.

he couldn't even get past the 10th slide making them, they were too much work and he had no time.

really has him wondering how long jeno had been working on these for.

"i also made them because i kinda wanted to help you study."

and just like that, jaemin is teleported back to his junior year of high school.

back to the library, sitting next to jeno, stressing over an anatomy test he had the next day.

he's brought back to the time jeno had the entire 1st semester study packet he had managed to make copies of and answer himself.

all that just to help him study.

jaemin is brought back to the day where they spent hours at jeno's house reviewing and going over the material.

jeno wasn't even in the class.

there isn't a doubt in jaemin's mind that jeno wasn't trying to relive those moments.

because he was beginning to find himself trying to relive them too.

so jaemin lets jeno help him. they spend what seems like hours going over flashcards and jeno making jaemin get up every 30 minutes to brain dump everything onto the white board, making him take 10 minute breaks in between each hour, and making sure he had enough fluids and food to get him through the night.

by the end of it, at around 7am an hour before jaemin's final, jeno quizzes him on everything he had learned so far, and jaemin was confident he'd come out of that class with a perfect score.

they stand outside the doors of the library, bags slung over their shoulders and coffees in hand. jeno had left to go grab them something from the café down the street while jaemin finished packing up his things.

there's a comfortable silence surrounding them as they start to walk off to jaemin's building, but the silence was soon gone when jeno once again started to quiz jaemin just from memory.

jaemin was stunned at how quick jeno was able to retain information like that.

but it really shouldn't have been too much of a shocker since he was always like this anyway.

they reach the entrance of the building in no time and jeno asks jaemin his final question, but this time, jaemin gets it wrong.

"remember what i told you about mono, di, and tri?"

"mono is one, di is two, and tri is three."

"which would mean poly..."

"oh yeah, four."

jeno sighs, but jaemin just thinks it's because he's tired. "no, nan-- sorry, jaemin. more than one, but not exactly four. could be more than four."

the slip up jeno has doesn't go unnoticed by jaemin who was now biting his inner cheeks, it wasn't that it made him uncomfortable, but that he had missed the way jeno used to call him that.

maybe it'd be okay to finally start opening up to the blonde a little bit more, "you can call me nana... it's okay." jaemin found the words a little difficult to say, giving someone permission to call you a nickname they had previously been calling you years before was a little unsettling.

it's like he shouldn't have ever had to do that again in the first place.

jeno smiles, it's evident that he was exhausted, but jaemin could tell that this brought him some peace of mind. for that, he's happy.

"alright, nana," the blonde seems a bit more lively after using the nickname again, "but now that you're reminded of what poly means, tell me what a polysaccharide is."

jaemin ponders on it for a second.

this wasn't even a hard question, jeno had basically already given him the answer.

"uh..." jaemin taps his foot on the ground while taking a small sip of his coffee, "a carbohydrate that consists of more than one sugar molecule bonded together?"

jeno shoots him a thumbs up, "exactly. you've got this!"

once again, jaemin is teleported back to the day of his 1st semester anatomy exam where jeno had said the same thing to him.

everything was currently reminding him of their past and how desperately he just wanted to go back and change the course of their relationship.

how it turned out and how they ended up here.

standing 3 feet away from each other like they were nothing more than classmates.

it wasn't meant to be like this, jaemin was supposed to get his good luck kiss before he went in and took his final like jeno used to do. he was supposed to get a long text of encouragements and then a sweet little treat afterwards no matter if he did good or not.

5 years ago in that stupid café, jaemin should've taken a deep breath and heard jeno out. 5 years ago they were supposed to move past this and none of whatever this was was supposed to happen.

jaemin still doesn't know the reasoning behind everything, but he was more than ready to hear it. it had been well over 4 months since jeno had showed back up and he'd been living with him long enough to actually want to sit and listen to it.

"oh yeah, by the way," jeno breaks off jaemin's train of thought and holds out a box of chocolate covered pocky. "i hope this is enough to hold you over until your exam is over and you can finally get something to eat."

always so thoughtful.

"would you like to go out for lunch with me then?" jaemin can't stop himself from asking, this was his opportunity to sit down with him and talk about what happened properly.

"oh, i'll have to check my schedule. i still have that essay to write and... i'm meeting up with some people later." jeno breathes out, "but i'll definitely let you know."

there's a small pang of disappointment that hits jaemin right in the heart, but he wasn't going to let this stop him from getting his one on one with jeno. in fact, this was more of a reason for him to keep trying to get jeno alone.

"that's okay! i don't want to burden you or anything." jaemin takes the pocky from jeno's grasp and places it between his chest and his laptop. "you've done so much for me today and i'll never be able to thank you enough."

"no, no, nana, you're not going to burden me at all! i just... have some business to attend to today." jeno shakes his hands in front of the honey haired boy to show him he wasn't trying to offend. "if tomorrow sounds good, or even tonight for dinner. i'm not opposed to either."

"hmmm, i think tomorrow sounds good... you and i still need to sleep after all."

jeno laughs at this along with jaemin whose eyes wandered to the big clock on the side of the building.

holy-- HOW IS IT ALREADY 7:45?!

when jeno figures out what jaemin is gawking at, he ruffles his hair. "seems like you need to get going then."

a small blush tints jaemin's cheeks; jeno hadn't done that in a very long time.

"y-yeah." unfortunately. "but i'll let you know how my exam goes!"

"i'd love to hear about it."

and just like that, with a final good luck from jeno, jaemin heads into his building and sits down at one of the long tables. setting his belongings down upon it and making sure everything was where it needed to be.

he kind of wishes jeno was available afterwards, but he's sure what ever he has going on is important, too.

jaemin understood that their lives didn't exactly revolve around each other, and he wanted to work around jeno's schedule.

still though, it was very sweet of him to come and help him study for an exam that he wasn't even taking himself.

with a sense of confidence and a boost of energy from jeno's encouragement, jaemin opens his laptop and cracks his knuckles.

hit me with your best shot!

- 🏹-

jeno had never been too sure of donghyuck's plans.

they always seemed like they were never well thought out and only really containing of one singular course of action.

so whenever he was told that donghyuck's plan this morning was to just show up to his dorm at 3pm, he was kind of already sure what this was going to turn into.

he just hopes this doesn't take up too much of his time, after all, he still needed to sleep and before that, he needed to finish his essay.

when he reaches his and jaemin's shared dorm, the first thing he does is set his belongings down on his desk and immediately types up the essay that was now due in an hour. (jaemin's building was about a 45 minute walk away from their dormitory, and it didn't exactly help that jeno was feeling extremely sluggish from not sleeping all night.)

for normal people, coffee was supposed to help them wake up.

but for whatever reason, coffee was the one thing jeno knew he could drink before bed and immediately fall asleep.

so it was no surprise that once he submits his essay, his face falls face first onto his keyboard and was snoring in no time.

there was absolutely no energy left in him to get up and move to his bed, so this would have to do for now.

jeno has no idea how many hours pass as he's sleeping at his desk, he has no idea that jaemin had come back from his exam puzzled to see him passed out, no idea that jaemin had placed a blanket on him before leaving, and has no idea that his phone was being blown up with texts from donghyuck who had been trying to get ahold of him for 30 consecutive minutes.

when he finally wakes up, his eyes shoot open to the sound of his ringtone blaring.

never in his life would he be so annoyed hearing the one piece theme song, but in his defense, he was half awake and at the same time, really did NOT want to be awake at the given moment.

nonetheless, jeno grabs his phone to pick up the call, not bothering to look at the caller id and presses it up to his ear, "jeno speaking."

"I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CONTACT YOU FOR ABOUT AN HOUR NOW, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

jeno moves the phone away from his face in annoyance, not really appreciating the fact that he was woken up from his slumber, "who is this again???"

"who the hell else was needing to meet with you at three-o'clock today?!"

hmmm... three... o'clock... what did i have to do today again?

brain still foggy, jeno simply replies with an, "i dunno..."

the voice on the opposite end of the line groans, "jeno, i'm not about to play these games with you. it's hyuck--"

"HYUCK??" it was jeno's turn to shriek, his eyes dart to the time on his laptop and sure enough it was nearly half past 3. this was enough to instantly get him on his feet, the blanket that was once on his back falling to the floor, and the charging wire to his laptop nearly causing him to trip.

"oh my god, i am so sorry--"

"save it! i already know the reason, just get your ass over here NOW."

just like that, the phone call is over and jeno is panicking trying to remember what room he needed to go to.

but as he's shutting the door behind him, he's met with a familiar face and a head of cherry red hair.

"figured you had no clue where you were going anyways, so here i am to pick you up." donghyuck immediately grabs jeno by the sleeve and begins to drag him through the hall, "if i would've known you were helping jaemin study for that stupid final he has for molecular biology, i would've set this to a later time."

"but you were the one who told me about his final?" jeno tilts his head to the side and he can sense the way donghyuck is rolling his eyes at him.

"let me rephrase then," donghyuck stops walking and lets go of jeno, reaching into his pocket and grabbing his keys, "if i would've known you pulled one of jaemin's all nighters with him to study for his final, i would've reseched. better?"

jeno nods, not really wanting to argue any further about this. "better."

before donghyuck places his key in the whole though, he turns to look back up at jeno who now had beads of sweat rolling down the sides of his face.

"you have nothing to be nervous about, jen."

"easy for you to say." jeno mumbles, hands fidgeting in his pockets, "what if they hate me?"

donghyuck stifles a small laugh, "you think mark, jisung, and renjun hate you?"

the blonde nods his head once again, not seeing what donghyuck was finding so amusing about this.

"they hate how you left, but they don't hate you." donghyuck senses jeno's nerves and tries his best to comfort him before finally sticking his key in the hole, "they could never hate you, jeno."

with one final look of reassurance, donghyuck turns the key and opens the door.

he's met with 5 different faces with food all stuffed in their mouths and a movie playing on the tv.

this wasn't going to be easy.

chapter is shorter than the last, but i'm really just going to start pushing out updates like my life depends on it.

here's what y'all have been waiting for for 5 years. sorry it took so long

it's 5am and i still haven't slept, but that's just because i kind of need to pull an all nighter to fix my shitty sleep schedule.

again, sorry if any of this is repetitive, i really just want this book done.

this feels like a quantity over quality situation kinda, but believe me when i say i'm trying

i've been typing all of these up on my laptop so i get some sort of motivation to actually get up out of bed and do something productive

expect this to be done by the end of the week.

i mean that too

anyways goodnight/morning y'all