"A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step."

Ethan

Mark invited me over today. I'm spending the night. How do I hide it all. The crying, the scars. It'll be impossible.

"He'll find out won't he." I say sighing. I grab some clothes throwing them in a bag. I sigh again and put my phone charger in the bag. I have to leave in a couple minutes. I look at myself. Ugly... But I hopefully don't look like a depressed little shit.

I drag myself (and the bag) to the car and start it and wait for it to warm up for a couple of minutes and drive to Mark's.

When I get there a put on my fake smile. I knock on the door. After a minute Mark opens it and let's me in.

"Hey Eth." He says smiling.

"Hi Mark." I say.

"You wanna do anything?" Mark asks.

"Video games?" I ask. Mark nods and drags me to his recording room where his computer and game counsels are.

We start playing Mario kart and have tons of fun I finally smiled for the first time in a few weeks.

"I win!" Mark yells crossing the line. I giggle a bit and look at Mark.

"I'm horrible at this." I say.

"Just takes practice." Mark says and we go to the next round.

We play for a couple hours maybe more before we decided to eat. We had some sandwiches (obviously not with peanuts or peanut butter).

Once we finished eating we watched the movie Up. Which I obviously cried while watching it. Mark was to. We were two grown men sitting next to each other on the couch crying while watching Up.

"F-fuck you..." I mumble wiping my tears.

"You wish." Mark says and puts his arm around me.

"No." I say shaking my head, " but why a fucking movie that'll make me cry."

"Because I wanted to." Mark said.

"Meanie." I say yawning.

"Tired?" Mark asks. I nod and go to the guest room since I already knew where it was. I lie on the bed.

Hours pass, Marks probably asleep and I'm lying in unable to sleep. Why am I still alive.

Tears suddenly make their way into my eyes and now I'm crying, more like sobbing...

Maybe I'm just taking another step further into the deep end.