1964

ON THE BITTER AND RAINY AFTERNOON OF OCTOBER 2, 1964, CAROLINE HARPER LOST HER FIGHT WITH CANCER AT 1:32 PM IN JOHNSON COUNTY HOSPITAL. The exact moment the doctors pronounced the time of death was when everyone close to her came crumbling into a stage of grief, each member of her family taking the news differently.

Caroline's mother denied the doctor before he could finish his sentence and kept repeating she would be up and moving by the end of next week. The women kept recalling the conversation they had last week that her daughter would walk through that long grey hallway and be ready to give Pauline a tight hug leaving the musty hospital behind. She didn't. A mother losing her child is something no mother should have to face, especially if they saw them grow up to be the person they wanted them to be.

A child losing their mother can be just as detrimental. A mother is the only person they have genuinely looked up to and idolized for their entire life, from teaching them everything from life lessons to how to tie their shoes.

Dawn took on the stage of acceptance. It takes time for many people to reach this stage, but she came to terms with a few weeks before her mother's passing.

She learned from her mother's words in that dim hospital room that smelled like bleach and cleaning supplies. She was seated beside her mother, pale and dark circles making her look sickly and so unlike herself. Dawn would tell you they couldn't cancel out her beautiful eyes. She squeezed her mother's hand so tight that day with tears streaming down her face. Acceptance was something she did for her mother. At least that what she told herself.

Johnathan Harper took on all three of the worst stages at the same time. It was more like a slow burn that never seemed to let up:

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

He never took it out on his daughter like many were lead on to believe. She was the only light he had left in this cruel world. Everything went in slow motion that day for him. As they say, nearing fall, the days become shorter, but for him, this one seemed to be the longest of his life. When he first heard the news, he called the doctor every insult in the book. He didn't care what they thought of him; they didn't deserve to stand in that position and say these things about his wife. She wasn't some medical statistic they wrote down for research. She was human.

Then, he turned to seek a sign from god. He would go to church every day. He was praying to the Lord, asking what he should do to bring his wife back to him. This lasted about two weeks, and the preacher at their church had to put an end to it because he knows that Dawn would come home to no one at night.

The girl was lonely, and she hardly ever saw her father. His weird shifts at the base they moved him to due to his circumstances to the nonstop visits to the chapel. It was something she could only watch from a distance. She watches him crumble in the weeks that followed her mother's death. The weather was always matched his mood, gloomy, and sunken to see full of guilt he could do anything to stop her from leaving him. She would hear soft swimmers from the other side of the hallway from time to time and sometimes comfort her father because she knew he needed it.

Johnathan, a once strapping man, faded into a pale and sleep-deprived ghost. That didn't seem to care for anyone but Dawn. He didn't see the point in helping himself.

When the leaves on the trees entirely changed from forest green to the warm yellows and oranges, it came time for Thanksgiving. Dawn knew that her father would take on the holidays with his somber mood turning into a prolonged state of depression. It was hard as it is for both of them. Dawn suggested it would be best to spend it in West Virginia instead of Pauline having to drive to Tennessee.

The letters she received from her Grandmother all sounded the same and didn't have the tone they did before her mother passed. Dawn could read in between the lines and tell her grandmother still hadn't accepted Caroline's death the way Dawn had.

The weather was cold, and the sun peeked through the clouds ever so often, leaving beams of gold light that cascaded down onto the trees outside the window above the sink. Dawn was wearing a black turtleneck sweater underneath a brown and black sleeveless plaid dress, something her grandmother picked out when they went shopping a few weeks ago when she visited her and her father. She thought it would be best for the occasion and bring a little joy to her grandmother. She was right because it was the first thing she noticed about her appearance.

Her father was in the living room watching the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade, probably thinking of the countless times her mother gushed about how amazing it would be to be there in person. There was a small amount of sadness that could be felt throughout the house, with everyone not wanting to say anything, knowing it would just trace back to Caroline.

Dawn felt like she was walking on eggshells with the two. She kept herself occupied, helping her grandmother prepare the food for the meal tonight. Sweet and Savory smells filled the house but still not managing to cancel out the gloomy mood the family inside of the home created.

Her sleeves were rolled up as she worked on Pauline's famous pecan pie. She thought of making apple, but it was her mother's favorite. Thankfully, there was just enough of the tree nuts left to create the perfect size for the three of them. The small radio that sat on the counter playing softly in the background as the girl and the woman hummed occasionally.

Pauline couldn't get over the fact Dawn was reminding her more and more of Caroline. Seeing the girls and her father made the older woman miss her daughter more.

The sadness carried out through the evening as the three of them sat at the table to say Grace before their extravagant meal. There was a thought looming in the back of Johnathon's mind that needs to be said. Knowing his daughter and mother in law, it had to be said slowly. The man put down his fork, clearing his throat to catch the attention of both of them.

They both look at him, making the guilt in his stomach grow more. Johnathon knee what he had to say and could not stall the news any longer. He knew his daughter would hate him for it, and Pauline would have an absolute fit. He just knew it was better than sulking over her death.

He laid his for down, folding his hands looking over at his daughter. "As you two know, the past few months have been difficult... for all of us. I want you to know before I say what needs to be said; it was my decision, not anyone else."

Both nodded, giving him a small fn of understanding. It didn't reassure the man.

He sighed, "There has been talk that President Johnson will put out an order soon for troops to be shipped to Vietnam because of the crisis-"

"Just say it, dad, " the girl said harshly. Johnathan saw his daughter's eyes, and the news he was about to share made his heartbreak even more.

"Ah, I, uh, gave the green light I would be part of the first few troops they would send over. They don't know exactly when that but think it's as early as spring of next year, but I'll start my training in January-"

"What the fuck," Dawn yelled at him as she stood up, slamming her hands on the table. She was on the verge of tears, and her face grew red of infuriation.

"Dawn, we do not use that foul language in this household," her grandmother protested at the clearly disoriented girl.

"Oh, don't act like you aren't thinking the same thing," she scoffed, "You think this solves everything, don't you?" If looks could kill, Johnathan would drop dead from his daughter glare.

"I- well," he hesitated.

"Don't you." Her voice rose louder, something she has never done before, throwing her father off-guard.

What gave her the right to speak to him like that? Sure she was hurt and confused, but he was not going to take this disrespect. Clenching his jaw, he rose from his sear, "Now you listen here, young lady. I will not take this behavior, you understand. I am your father, and you are to show me respect."

Dawn's face changed from anger to confusion. She stepped away from the table, looking between her grandmother and father. " It's hard to respect you when you think it's the best decision to leave your daughter behind."

"I was asked personally if I wanted to command a group of men. Do you i have any idea how big of a deal it is for me?"

"Oh, yes, such an honor to go on a suicide mission, " Dawn scoffed again, crossing her arms.

"Dawn," her grandmother protested again.

"What, you can't tell me he would have said yes a couple of months ago," the girl's voice was uneven, and it broke Johnathon's heart to hear her pain, "He wouldn't have."

"Now, you know I would have. I would do anything for this country."

"You just want to get away because you say I remind you too much of her." As she spat at him, a stage of shock feels upon both of their faces. "Yeah, she's a person you can say her name, it's Caroline. She was my mother. Not her, or she, Caroline. I miss her every day, and I don't sit and sulk about because she ain't coming back, ever."

They all stood in silence. Dawn's voice was distressed, and neither one of the adults knew how to react. They just knew she was right, and they have been selfish in their decision after Caroline died. This was the first time either one of them heard her name since the funeral service. Both of them did not know how to express their grief, let alone identify it. They have been so caught up in the thought of the beloved woman dying in vain that they didn't think of how it would affect her only daughter.

Pauline stepped forward, grabbing the girl's arm in reassurance, "Baby girl."

Dawn jerked her hand away, "Don't." She backed away from the two looking from her grandmother to her father. She could feel the tears brimming in her eyes, knowing she can't break down in front of the two of them, making the situation with them worse. "I thought I could do this," she turned to her father, "You just had to make everything worse. I think I need a breath of fresh air."

With that, she stormed out of the house, grabbing her coat, knowing that her father might follow after her. She could see their faces while they looked at each other, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to see if they were debating to follow her from inside the house. She slammed the screen door and could feel the vibration of each stem she made on the creaky stairs of the porch.

She never heard anything but the leaves crunching under her boots as she made her way into the words behind the forest. Her grandmother probably told her father to let her cool off, and she knew if either one of them followed her, it would just result in her being an emotional mess. This was only her storing everything inside and letting it out on the two of them. Some of the things she said were true, but others were exaggerated, and just the thoughts flowed from her mouth like word vomit.

She pulled the material of her jacket closer to her body, feeling the emotions she has been bottling up inside her start to resurface. It was still light outside, and the sun was starting to make its way to the horizon showing signs of its setting soon. She wished they were in Tennessee so she could run to her mother's grave and just say everything that was on her mind but couldn't.

It was freezing, and she wished she thought about bringing a pair of pants, but the decision was more an impulse for her, so going upstairs wasn't an option.

She found her way close to a road that looked vaguely familiar. She knew she wasn't far from the church. She saw the cemetery through the trees and knew she could just turn around now and not worry about going back in the dark. Too bad, she was so immersed in thought she didn't see the small creek a step in front of her causing her to fall into it, making her dress soaked in the cold water. She let out a groan feeling numb in every part of her body as she struggled out of the creek. There was a brutal sting that rand from her ankle to her knee, and she knew it wasn't something she could walk off.

She heard two voices from the other side of the brush in the direction of the cemetery. As Dawn struggled, the water continued to sting her skin from the unusually low temperatures. The voices continued to get louder as they heard Dawn's loud, shaky breath from the creek. Her eyes grew heavy, but she could still feel the rushing water and the voices that appeared to belong to a boy and girl.

"Oh my, Arvin, I found her." The voice that yelled sounded like it belonged to the girl, and the name Arvin made her scrunch her face in confusion. It wasn't a common name, and she had no doubt it belonged to the boy she met last summer. She asked herself why he would be at the church knowing he didn't seem to be the type to come there in his free time. Who was Dawn to judge? She wouldn't either.

"Shit, " she heard him say before she could listen to him, make his way down to the creek. She felt him kneel beside her picking her up from the water, making her start to shiver uncontrollably. "Lenora, start the car. We need to get her home."

Dawn couldn't open her eyes, but she could hear Lenora's shoes hit the dead leaves fade as she ran farther away from her and Arvin.

"Hey, can you hear me, " Arvin whispered to her as he continued to carry her across the cemetery?

She slowly moved her limp hand that rested against her stomach up to his chest, squeezing his jacket. Humming lightly, and it sent a wave of relief through him. She was so pale, and if he didn't get there quick enough, she might have frozen in the creek on this cold day. For Dawn, it felt like a couple of seconds, but she was down there for a good ten minutes before he and Lenora found her.

She was unrecognizable to the boy; he didn't realize it was the same girl he took home in the rain. He sat her in the back seat of his car, and Lenora walked over to her, "We need to take off her clothes. She has a greater chance of catching pneumonia."

Arvin nodded, walking to his rusted trunk, grabbing an old flannel. Lenora stopped him before he can turn to walk closer to the back seat. She grabbed the flannel and handed it to the girl. He shut the trunk before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket, looking down at the ground. Lenora called his name, and he walked next to her; she took off her coat, quickly handing it to the girl before getting into the back with her. Arvin gave her a confused look, "I read that you can keep a person warm using you're own body heat. Just until we can get her home."

"No," the shivering girl managed to get out in between the chatters of her teeth. She was shaking harder, now leaving both Lenora and Arvin confused. "Please take me somewhere else. You can't take me home."

Arvin finally managed to get a good look at the girl wrapped in Lenora's jacket. He noticed her eyes, the same eyes he looked into a little over a year ago. Instead of fire, they were filled with fear.

"Arvin, please," the girl begged to bring the wool jacket closer to her body.

"You know her," Lenore asked Arvin baffled. She recognized the girl from spotting her a couple of times but has never seen the two of them interact.

"We need to get her home," he said blankly before shutting the door and hurrying to the driver's side of the car. Thinking he wasn't fast enough to change gears to take them home. As he paid attention to the road in front of him, his eyes met Dawn's in the rearview mirror, making his stomach have this funny sort of feeling he couldn't quite describe if you asked him to.

Dawn's nerves started to grow as they grew closer to her road. She watched the landscape change from trees to cotton that was just about ready to be picked. It could fool anyone into thinking it was the snow that covered the grown from how much each plant was full of bulbs of the white plant. They sped past the family's mailbox, and Dawn jerked her head towards the boy's eyes that stared back at him in the mirror, but he quickly looked away.

Lenora watched the interaction of the two wondering how on earth a girl like Dawn would even think twice about talking to Arvin. She seemed too perfect for this town and was like one of the heroines in her books that her grandmother got her occasionally. She knew God had a funny way of doing things, and she would never truly understand the two's relationship, but we are getting ahead of our story.

Finally, making it to the Russell's home, it was quite clear dawn could not walk on her own. Her ankle was now the size of a cantaloupe, and she was still shivering uncontrollably. Arvin offered to carry her inside, and she refused the first four times. After falling for the fifth time, she obliged the boy's offer. He knew that she should have said yes, sooner. He could tell the pain kept growing as she struggled to hide it in her facial features.

As Arvin lifted the girl, Emma came rushing out with Lenora trailer behind her clutching her bible. The older woman had a blanket in hand, ready to tend to the girl. "Arvin, hurry now. We need to get this poor thing inside."

Emma walked next to her grandson as he came into the house, and he sat Dawn onto the couch, letting his hand linger on her back, feeling the shivers radiating from her body. He wasn't able to stay for long because his grandmother pulled him away, rushing him to where his great uncle sat in the kitchen fiddling with a cigarette he just lit. He offered the boy one, and Arvin took it before sitting down at the dining room table, lighting the roll. He heard the muffled voices of Emma and Lenora from the other side of the door while they helped Dawn.

"That look ain't no good boy. Your father had the same one when he came home from the war," Earskell told the boy as he confused to puff smoke.

"I don't got no look," Arvin protested, but the older gentleman chuckled to himself, knowing this wasn't true. He didn't try to think about what his uncle said because he knows deep down that it might be true, and that thought terrified him. 

It felt like a millennium for the boy when his grandmother finally came into the kitchen, but it was o my a couple of minutes she put a pot of water on the stove to heat for the girl, and she glanced at her grandson, who was failing to seem unbothered. "She is on the couch in front of the fireplace," Emma said softly to the boy.

He pushed himself up from the table, moving into the living room. Lenora was sitting in a wooden chair in the corner quietly reading her worm leather bible while dawn was on the couch that was now moved in front of the fireplace. She had about three blankets on her and was sleeping soundly. The sound of fire crackling filled the room while a warm glow lit the room, making it seem cozy and inviting.

Lenora noticed the boy in the doorway smiling softly at him, "She is gonna be okay." He turned to her with a baffled expression on his face. She laughed at her brother, "Don't worry, I won't tell her you were concerned."

"I'm not. I just wanted to see what took you two so long." The boy leaned against the wall, cigarette still hanging from his mouth.

"How do the two of you know each other," Lenora asked her brother. She didn't think he would answer because Arvin is complicated like that.

"I took her home one time, that's about it," Arvin explained, not looking at his sister whose face was baffled at the thought of her brother doing something so out of character. "It was storming, and she was gonna have to walk in the rain."

The answer he gave her was vague, but she didn't expect anything less. She was not going to pry because she knew it was her business.

Dawn was asleep for a couple of hours and woke up at about midnight. The first thought that ran through her mind was her grandmother. She just hoped she knew where she was. She opened her eyes to an unfamiliar setting of a fireplace with a dim glow from a once roaring fire. She let out a deep breath, remembering what happened before. Her father talks about him possibly being shipped out to war to her falling into the creek next to the cemetery. She could still hear Arvin Russell speaking softly to her as he carried to his car before being comforted by his sister. The pain in her ankle was throbbing, and she knew she probably wouldn't be able to walk on it for a while.

Her heart stopped when she heard the breath of someone else from across the room looking back to see the Russell boy sleeping in a wooden chair that leaned against the wall. His hair was unkempt and falling onto his forehead as he snored softly. She was slightly confused as to why he would be here and not his bed. she uncovered her less to take a look at her foot and saw it was bonded in cloth, and she noticed she was in a baggy dress more than likely Lenora's. She tried her best to balance herself as she stood up, but it only led to her letting out a whimper before falling back onto the couch.

Arvin jolted up at the small sound looking over at the girl who was now awake and struggling across the room. He grabbed the glass of water sitting on the table next to him he made just in case she woke to her. She turned when she heard the boy start to move, watching him make his way over to her with her face scrunched in an expression that was hard for Arvin to read.

He handed the girl the glass and she thanked him. It was barely audible. Dawns throat hurt to an unbearable extent. The water was able to soothe it down enough to her to return the apology again, "Thank you. For everything."

He shrugged, "You would have done the same for me." He walked over to the other end of the couch with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

"No, I can hardly imagine you being helpless." Dawn brought her knees to her chest while they were underneath the blankets Emma provided her with. She motioned for the boy to sit down on the other end and he hesitated but she gave him a stubborn look.

He chuckled at her attitude, "Believe it or not I've been in plenty of situations."

"Really," her voice cracked while she asked the question and Arvin knew he had to shut her up. He could tell that it was painful for her to talk.

He could tell her everything right then and there. He didn't want to thought because the girl has been through so much in one day. Her eyes had dark circles around them and her hair was unkempt. She still managed to be beautiful, Arvin thought to himself. She truly didn't deserve the life God gave her and he knew she deserved better than some sad runaway story.

"When I lived in Ohio, I lived on top of a hill. I would always run down it to see if I was as fast as the planes on television in the furniture store window. My mom always told me to slow down, but I wouldn't listen to her. For my birthday one year she gave me one of those toy ones. I was running and tripped over a rock I broke it and it went through my side." He lifted up his shirt to reveal a scar that seemed to be pretty detrimental at the time but was now faded. Dawn scooted closer to him shaking off the blanket to observe the tissue. Her handed hovered over it hesitant to touch it but Arvin didn't seem to mind. He felt a tingling sensation in the area she touched the scar. "Took a trip to the clinic and a couple of stitches. The doc put me on some sort of drug and I kept tryin' to talk like bugs bunny while I was being sewed up."

Dawn let out a genuine laugh at the thought of him imitating the famous cartoon character. She looked up at him and noticed how close the two of them were, maybe about a foot apart. She always found him attractive even though she had seen him a total of two times, but she never looked at him genuinely. She way the freckles that dotted his nose and the top part of his cheeks. The hints of gold in his eyes as they reflected the flame of the fire dancing slowly as it burned the logs. For maybe a millisecond her eyes flickered down to his lips just because she was curious.

Arvin noticed it. He too was admiring the girl's features in the orangish glow of the fire. He still didn't like her bangs and how they hid his view of her full face. The curly haired boy thought about how he could look into her eyes for hours. He wanted to know everything about her. It strange and the thought terrified him.

Neither one of them said another word to each other. The girl didn't worry about her father's reaction to seeing her again, and for the first time, the boy didn't drift to sleep at the thoughts of his past. Instead, they fell asleep to the image of one another with a tranquil feeling settling upon both of the teenagers with words that remained unsaid but wholly understood.

a/n: Hey guys, I hope you like this update. I am loving how the story is going so far. I wanted to thank each and everyone one of you for all the reads, comments and votes. It means so much. Love you all!! Also excuse the mistakes it hasn't been edited.