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The awesome drawing above is by leecoleloca of her interp on Emrie and North! Thank you so much!

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-&-

Chapter 41

       "Immortals were never meant to walk this world. We had our own, designed solely for our needs. It changed as we did, conformed to what we wanted, what we craved. The perfect inhabitance for beings who can never age, never die.

       When the mortals were first created they too sought home in the Heavens, but the realm was too eternal for them—always changing. Mortals do not change. At times they could live for thousands of years alongside us. In others, they would die in a blink of an eye. The eternal Kingdom holds secrets far older than I, and it rejects all not born from its creation.

       Axion feared for the mortal's survival. Though created by eternal souls, their shells were nothing more than weak skins. The Heavens were no place for the sub-species. No immortal that I am aware of disapproved of the Great God's decision to create this world. We had liked the mortals. In a place of eternal time and never-ending change, they entertained us. To be rid of them would end our enjoyment.

       We could watch them from our home. Watch how they lived, thrived, created friendships and love. For most it was fascinating, to see a species formed purely out of boredom evolve on their own in a planet they could successfully live a life time then die and move on.

       But this world was built for mortals just as the Heaven's formed for us. It is for them. We were never meant to stay here long. Many visited as I have done, walking with their own creations they had added to the realm—but we always returned.

       We require change, constant, unyielding change to redirect our thoughts and minds. Without it we grow numb, ignorant... forgetful. Although the time here moves, wardrobes adapt, and mortals grow more intelligent, their world does not change. The seasons come and go in the same succession, night becomes day, rulers rise and fade, and the differences between the mortal's view on good and evil do not. It is maddening.

       To repeat the same thing over and over, to watch the world replay in the same chaotic way for hundreds of years is horrendous. Regardless of whether they want to or not, any immortal spent too long in this realm—quite literally—loses their mind.

       We cannot grow old, we cannot die... no matter how hard we try. So we forget. Forget to deal with the never-ending repetition. It is not a deliberate choice to make, it is forced upon. We are beings of change, it allows our minds to continue thinking—without it we are numb.

       It begins with home. The Heaven's, its iridescent landscapes, the palace, my moon... it all faded away. I held onto it as long as I could, but no matter how dearly I missed my eternal shelter, I hated the place. The light had fled from it, the thing that made eternity enjoyable had been cast away. The Heavens betrayed me. It was easy to forget it. Who I was left a lot harder.

       I had always been proud, too much for my own good. It bothered you at times. You would roll your eyes and say there was pride then there was ego, and I could never tell the difference. You were right, but like the rest of my kind I was arrogant, and I didn't care. I was my father's favorite, I had the moon, and I had you. Nothing could have deterred me.

       Even after the war, when I had lost you and half of the other stars in the sky, I was still proud—furious, and vengeful, but proud. It took a lot longer for this place to suck the memory of Adranus from me, of my eternal being. Over time I truly did begin to believe I was merely a king descended from the great God of the Moon, from Eirik.

       When I created this kingdom, so you would have a home once I found you, Terif thought of the fable of the king's descendent, that they came from Eirik's line—his line. His mate had long since died and my soul inside of him was the only thing keeping him alive. I think a part of him resents me for that, though I know he will never admit to it. My first General, and oldest friend has been loyal to me since he was a new born pup.

       I needed him to help me find you. The part of my soul inside him would know your presence as well as I. Though neither of us had counted on others stealing you first. I had found hundreds of craters, hundreds of other stars Axion sent back to the Heavens—but not you.

       Do you know how much that fucking killed me? You were there somewhere on the Mountain, I knew you were, but I couldn't feel you. Every other fucking star I found, and none of them were you.

       Still Eirik at the time, Terif had suggested I make the other Generals. With my soul in more wolves I could search for more than just the Mountain in half the amount of time. But he had no idea how hard it had been to give what I already did.

       The stone I had created for you, the piece of my heart, held much more than that. I tore a mere sliver of my inner being to create it, and another for him. I feared what would happen if I tore at it any more. Though without you I do not care to exist.

       He did not need me to create the other, my soul had given him more power than I could have ever imagined. The first had been made and with his son he easily brought the rest into being. I had honestly been beyond grateful.

       I was not alone on this forsaken realm any longer. I had more to help me search. And even as time went on, and the others were forced to forget as well, Terif knew how important the search was.

       I believe five hundred years passed by the time I completely forgotten my true self. I only remembered you. How you would watch me when you thought I was not paying attention, how you smiled whenever I amused you, how you blushed every time I made an innuendo. My Heart.

       Looking back on it now, I think my mind held onto you the longest because you were the only thing I truly could not lose. My one sole purpose. But even you began to fade, no matter how hard I tried to hold on. No matter how hard I roared at the sky for your return or spent searching the world, you still slipped from my mind.

       I could no longer see your smile, your heated cheeks, and I began to question who owned those beautiful amber eyes haunting my dreams, and even those slipped away. And then I was living a mortal existence, with only the assumption that I was descended from Adranus that prevented me from aging, and this incurable desire to search for this thing I could not live without. I no longer knew what that something was only that I had to find it—find you.

       I watched my people grow. Watched their lives come and go, kept them safe from all who threatened my Mountain. I had to, for when I found the thing I was desperately searching for. So it would have a place, so you would have a safe home.

       I want to roar at the ridiculousness of it now. Trapped beneath my mountain by spells casted from those who dared try to amount to the gods. I know not whether they took my stone from your neck or it fell, regardless they were successful in keeping me from you.

       I took pleasure in killing them, Emrie. Great, undeniable pleasure. The only part I regret was that you saw me in its aftermath. Even in the Heavens I tried to hide such rage from you. I never wanted you to think badly of me. I only wanted you to view me with love and affection. I will never forgive myself that you feel such hatred for me.

        I know that is not what you want to hear right now. I will go back to the past. I eventually believed I had a destined mate like the rest of my kind and assumed that insane need to search was for them. It has been nearly a millennium since the fall, and I have spent half of it in a numb, placid ignorance.

       Yes, I was... with other women in that time. There was an emptiness inside of me, this horrendous black hole that would never fill no matter how hard I tried—and I could never figure out why. I thought fucking it away was the answer, but I was entirely wrong. It only made it worse.

       I know you will never forgive me for this, and I will not ask you to. I swear that if I knew you, and of the life we once shared, I never would have touched another. And for what little comfort it provides, I was never with them more than once and always felt this ridiculous urge to die afterwards. I know why now. Regardless if my mind knew I was betraying you, my heart did. For you have owned it for an eternity, and always will.

       I am thankful you did not have to suffer the passage of time as I—knowing that I was out there somewhere, completely unable to find me. You did not have to watch civilizations rise and fall, did not have to watch epidemics sweep the world, or observe the consistency as I. Despite the turmoil they placed inside your head, you did not have to face the eternal oblivion as I. If I were to appreciate those Underlings for anything it would be that."

       He paused for the first time since he urged us towards the stone table in the middle of the icy garden and sat across from me. I licked my lips and kept my gaze focused on the gray table's surface. I could feel the electrifying blue of his eyes staring holes into the top of my head, begging me to look at him, to accept his story—to accept him.

       Only one question slipped past my lips: "Terif has a son?"

-&-

       "When did you start to remember?"

       "Shortly after I watched you nearly fall from that rooftop." He paused, let out a dark chuckle and shook his head. "Seeing you there was a shock to my system, though I still didn't remember." We were walking slowly around the icy garden now, I could no longer sit and listen to such a heart shattering tale. For that was how it felt to me, nothing more than a story.

       "I knew you were mine, knew you were supposed to be with me no matter the consequences. That awful desperate pull to constantly search for something had disappeared. I had finally found my mate, the being I had been so desperately hunting for centuries—or, you found me." He tried to give me a soft smile, one that touched his bright eyes, but I could not bring myself to return it.

       He continued softly a moment later, the smile falling from his lips. "My birthday celebration was a sick joke between the Generals and I, but necessary for the Kingdom. They truly believe others came before me and that I am a descendant of Eirik, not their actual god."

       "No one ever questioned that you look exactly like the king before you?" I raised an eyebrow at that, but his eyes only flashed.

       "Family traits are strong within wolf-bornes. Besides, their loyalty knows no bounds. They do not question me."

       That I knew better than anyone. It had been a shock to more than the King the first time Terif spoke against, even though I wouldn't say he did.

       "I did not realize when I first saw you. I believed you to be just some Underling trying not to fall off a building, and I remember thinking that you were such a stupid little girl. Sneaking into my kingdom like you would not be caught.

       Then I saw your eyes, even from my position on the platform, and I knew that you were supposed to mean the world to me. I could not let anyone hurt you, could not let anyone take you from me." A dark pink tongue darted out and licked his lips, those blue eyes wandering off in a distant memory we both shared.

       "I had hurt my shoulder handling the Norther Raiders earlier that day, it would have healed shortly after you found me. But there you were, sprawled out beneath me. Practically begging to help me-"

       "I did not beg-!"

       "And I could not say no to you, though now I regret ever letting you. The 'gold-power' as you call it, is your soul, meant to heal only you, and there you were throwing it about as if it were simple magic. My mind began to heal shortly after you touched my own soul.

       I made sure you were going to be alright before I returned you to that brainless town leader, though I have no idea why they would let a child run a town." He scoffed at that, and the action nearly made me smile—nearly.

       "I believed it was the best option at the time. I was weary of Liberius ever since he entered my castle, but he could speak to the spirit realm, something I had forgotten to do long ago, and a strong king needs that access. But I didn't trust him. I didn't want him to know I had a mate. I had no idea how much deeper the problem ran until later."

       Movement caught the corner of my eye and I watched as he seemed to unconsciously reach up to run his fingers through the ends of my hair. I was caught between wanting to rip away from him and begging him to wrap his arms around me and never let go. I settled for pretending I didn't know what was happening.

       "I started to remember slowly after that, then far more when you went on that little trip to the Lower Kingdom." There was no mistaking the sneer in his dark voice as he recounted the incidence.

       "The ancient power I had long forgotten began returning to me, and you had begun to see it as well. I needed to know more before I could begin to decide what to do, to remember more, but then you got hurt and I- I..." He paused, his eyes closed, and his jaw locked before he let out a hard sigh. "I could not have you far from me any longer. I needed you by me, needed to know you were safe in the castle—this place I built for you."

       I flinched when his strong fingers were suddenly trying to wrap around mine, his eyes staring holes into the side of my head again. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to hold his hand, to curl up in those strong, immovable arms and never leave—perhaps it was my own pride keeping me from doing so. If he truly forgot, against his own will, how could I hold that against him?

       Then why did my heart hurt so much?

       I flexed my fingers in his grasp and did not pull away from him, though I didn't hold him back. I could practically feel the remorseful plea streaming from his body. This was killing him. Well, it wasn't any better for me.

       "You lied to me."

       "I hid things from you."

       "Same difference."

       "I did what I believed was the best option at the time. It was all I could do. You did not know of our life together, you believed some fable of a life they had put into your head. You would not believe me if I began to try and explain." His thumb was stoking the back of my hand, his body angling further against mine. I hated the excited chill it sent down my spine.

       "You even denied the truth from that feline shifter. I did what I thought was best for you. Hate me if you want, but I will not take back the decision. I will always do what I think will keep you safe."

       I scoffed, anger spiking in my chest and I jerked my hand from his to put some desperately needed space between us. "It is that exact thinking that threw me from the Heaven's, that forced me to take matters into my own hands and go to the cave, to let Liberius trick me into speaking with him. You should have told me-"

       "You should have trusted me. I told you not to leave the palace while I was gone, but you went out to watch the fucking war. I told you I would tell you everything in time, that I worried about the seer and didn't want you around him, but you ignored me again and did exactly what I asked you not to! If you had trusted me and done as I said none of this would have happened-!"

       "Don't you dare blame this on me!" My voice was a near screech, the fury in it matching that shining from his eyes.

       "Then don't you dare pretend you are not at fault either!"

       "I- I...!" I sputtered and clenched my fists furiously at my sides. He was right, partially at least. It was cruel of me to blame this all on him, to take no fault. He did always do what he thought was best for me, even if it didn't go the way either of us wanted. I could not fault him for wanting to protect me, only for keeping things from me.

       That didn't mean I wanted to admit it.

       Then, as quickly as his fury came, it disappeared, and he was beaming down at me as if he just stolen the world's largest, most precious jewel. It only made my anger spike. "Why the hell are you smiling like that-?"

       "You are just as cute when you are furious as when you are flustered."

       It didn't matter how much more anger his statement caused, because he had started to move as quickly as his mood swings. "Don't you dare!" I shouted as his arm slipped easily around my waist, his large hand gripping tightly at my hip as he tried to pull me into him. Just like before our conversation had started, I began beating at his ridiculous hard shoulders with tight fists.

       His face suddenly harden, ice slipping into that once warm smile as the blue of his eyes flashed red. Adie... How did he do that? "I told you I would leave when I finished speaking if you still wanted me to, and I will—but not for long Emrie. I lost you once already and my entire being was lost without you. I will not lose you again, even if you are the one trying to take yourself from me. I won't. You are mine. You belong with me—always."

       My eyes widened as his free hand came up and gripped my chin, dark eyes glaring down into mine. "I do not care if you hate me. I will never let you go." His thumb brushed over my bottom lip his eyes dropping to watch the action though the icy fire in them did not leave.

       "You would hold me here against my will?" I whispered as every single one of my senses was filled with him. His smell, his taste, his touch—it was all driving me mad.

       Even though I was technically being held against my will in this castle already. I knew now though, knew who we were. If I constantly demanded to leave, it would crush him. And wouldn't feel so good to me either.

       His eyes flashed red again, his grip tightening. "Are you saying I would have to? Are you claiming to no longer love me, little star?" There was a dark humor in his voice, one that spoke far more than his words ever did.

       He knew without a doubt I could never truthfully say that. Because no matter how long we have been apart, no matter how long we upset, angered, hurt each other, we were always.

       His moon to my night. My star to his darkness. We were eternal.

       "I need time to think." I grumbled still held tight against him with my head immobile in his grip.

       "I have given you time."

       "Adranus, please. I need this."

       I did not bother to hide the double meaning in those words, and he had not missed it. He paused, and those red flashing eyes slowly eased back to that blue I loved. "Very well, dear Emrie. I will give you what you ask." He murmured softly against my lips, his just barely a breath away from my own. Then he pulled away, leaving me cold and empty.

       "I still have questions."

       "Then I will answer as best as I can."

       We were eternal.    

-&-

Still not done yet guys! This book is turning out to be so much longer than I was expecting *sigh*

Hope you all enjoyed!