KAT

"IT'S POTASSIUM CARBONATE, KAT," Monique said soothingly as Kat pulled into the school driveway next to Nancy and Jonathan.

"Right, right," Kat muttured, wringing her hands as she took them off the steering wheel.

"Take a chill pill, Kit Kat," Cameron swung his body off her car in one easy leap. "You're gonna ace it,"

"Chem test stress?" Steve said, appearing from behind his burgundy car, carrying his typical 'too cool for school' demeanor.

"Of course," Cameron sighed, slumping against Kat's car.

"At least it's first period," Monique said, her hand on Kat's shoulder. "That means you'll get it over with quickly,"

"Yeah, Moni," Kat said. "Right, let's go,"

The four of them made their way inside, Kat's nervous expression being mistaken by all bystanders for a scowl. Waving a hello to Jonathan and Nancy, they stopped at the seniors' lockers. Kat had an upper locker right above Cameron's which meant that she often had to reach to get her stuff from the side and Cameron had to squeeze himself extremely small and low so they didn't horrendously collide every second.

However, sometimes Cameron packed all of his books into his arms at once (though he somehow always forgot his lunch money), and Kat would get a comfortable view of her locker. Stickers from her freshman spring phase dotted the cheap metal, which rusted on the corners. Her locker had two hooks on the inside, one of which she kept her tote bag on, and a seperate compartment at elbow-view for books. However, since Kat took eight subjects, she had more books than usual, which was why she kept some in the big compartment. A pair of cat-eye sunglasses with one lens dangled from the other hook, next to a Prom Queen sash from her junior year and a gym whistle. Kat had scratched her initials into the door of the locker among other names that dated back to seven years past, but the other initials were covered by pictures of her, Cameron, and Monique from the past four years. Crammed in the corners was Kat's unofficial trash can, with stray worksheets, broken pencils, and old notes thrown through the openings of her locker. It was a little bit mad back there.

"So, I'm driving Dustin to see The Terminator today right after school, wanna come?" Steve asked. 

"What, like a babysitting date?" Kat said, laughing.

Steve's eyes went wide on what he was insinuating. "Uh- I mean, sure- Dustin's there, so I guess- it'll be more-"

"-Steve," Kat interrupted. "I'd love to come, but I'm supposed to tutor Mike on how to take notes in class,"

"Oh, damn. But that sounds awesome though, uh, have fun!" Steve said, frowning before grinning like a puppy before opening his own nearly-empty locker.

"Can't you take her to the movies after her tutoring session?" Monique said witheringly, and Steve looked at her, a little scared.

"Yeah, Harrington," Kat, smiling along. "Can't you and Dustin do seven instead of three?"

"Yeah, 'course- the kid doesn't have anything rest of the day. That's totally fine," Steve rambled, looking at Monique, the latter staring back judgementally.

The bell rang, causing Kat's heart to do a backflip as people in her Chem class started lining up near the door.

"Slay 'em dead, tiger," Cameron gave her a pat on the back before heading with Monique outside since they both had a free period.

"You ready?" Steve asked, looking down at her.

"Yep," she said, making sure all her pencils were sharpened to a point.

"Can I borrow one of those?" Steve muttured as they went in. Kat handed him a pencil, notcing the thick leaflets of paper upon every desk.

"Good morning, everyone. I hope you all feel prepared for our test today, remember, there's no need to stress. You will have the entire block. No revisions or extra time will be given, you have had more than enough time to prepare," Mr. Longrie said monotonously as they came into class. "Take your seats now,"

"Good luck," Steve whispered to her as he took a seat to her left, Vickie from band seated on her right.

"Now you may open your test packets. Begin," Mr. Longrie sounded, and there was a loud flipping noise as all twenty of them frantically opened their packets, followed by sighs and elbows falling onto desks in defeat.

"I thought Question Ten was alright, but Twelve was a total nightmare," Kat rambled as her and Steve walked through the halls in their 15 minute break before U.S. History.

"Which one was Twelve?"

"The one with the potassium and the ammonium!"

"Oh. I think I skipped that one," Steve mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

"So you agree, then. It was a nightmare," Kat sighed.

"How was the test?" Monique asked brightly, noticing but deciding not to care about the deep scowls set in both Kat and Steve's faces as she walked with them from the tables outside.

"Great," Kat rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Kat, you did fine," she smiled sympathetically, dimples carved into her dark cheeks like the details in fine marble.

"Thanks, Moni," Kat squeezed her hand. In all honesty, Kat wasn't sure why she was making such a big deal out of this test, they had just finished midterms and it wasn't worth much.

"What was it on? Carbonate?" Cameron asked, slinging his sling backpack over one shoulder, pink sweater rolled up to his elbows.

"Nah, reactions and shit," Steve told him, waving his hands nonsensically.

Cameron shook his head, making a tsk sound.

"Kathy! Kat!" someone whispered from Kat's behind, and Kat turned to Nancy peeking out from behind a set of lockers.

"What's up?" Kat said to Nancy as Steve, Monique, and Cameron continued walking ahead.

"Jonathan just asked me if I wanted to get coffee with him after school!"

"Oh my god," Kat said in awe. "No way! I'm so happy for you!"

"-I said I wasn't sure, though," Nancy interrupted.

"Why?"

"Well," Nancy tucked her hair behind one ear nervously. "I just...I don't drink coffee,"

"...Are you shitting me right now?"

"No- yeah, I mean- I just panicked, I'm sorry! It's just he leaned in, like, super close and I got distracted and all by his eyes and then it was like my ears heard it an hour before my brain did, but then when I realized he already looked like he thought I'd say no-"

Kat nodded along, letting Nancy ramble away. 

"-But then I was like 'what?' and I made him repeat it because my brain didn't process it even though it processed as he was saying it the second time, and I know it was super awkward for him. Now I gotta apologize," she finished in a flurry.

"Okay," Kat said, turning to face her again. "First off, don't mention how you don't drink coffee on your first date. Just get a tea or something. Second of all, find him again. Apologize, yeah, and then restate his offer from your own speech. Like, say, 'I'd really love to have coffee with you' or something like that. It makes them feel more, yknow, emotionally assured when you restate it fully,"

"Right," Nancy said, looking through Kat as if she was jotting down notes on a mental notepad. "Got it. Thanks!"

She then skipped away, books clutched to her chest, blue eyes alight once more. Kat looked at the back of her head as she came through the halls, a ball of sunshine free of the constraints she'd been under a year ago. Kat missed when that was herself skipping down hallways.

Her next class was a breeze, with Cameron's chatter about baking distracting her from the works of George Orwell. They were assigned their homework; to continue working on their literary themes' essays, and were dismissed a shocking 15 minutes early. Yet, throughout the whole time, Kat felt extremely uncomfortable. 

Maybe it was because of the past week of monster hunting featuring Steve Harrington, or just her coming to her senses, but she felt more...aware. More in touch, and not in a good way. When Kat rolled her eyes as the homework was being collected, Stella Marks rolled her eyes as well in response. When Kat ignored the murmur going on in the back about her new glove, she could sense the people lose interest when they noticed a lack of reaction. It was like the small voice in her head was now commentating on everything she did.

Oh, you just sighed and leaned back in your seat. Notice how four people around you glared quickly and did the same thing?

Maybe it's my coldness to others made them feel...y'know, cold too. Cold in response, as well. Kat came to the thought, and wanted to slap her palm to her forehead as the realization hit her. Kat was always worrying about other things in these situations, like how to juggle picking Mike up from the arcade, finishing her essays, and buying a week's worth of groceries in one day. She had never noticed how the way her iciness would outright harm others. Does that make me selfish?

Not to jump the gun, but the voice that had once wholeheartedly supported her endeavors in being the Ice Queen was now looking in the direction of a sun.

"You good?" Cameron came up from her behind.

"Yeah- yeah, I'm fine," she replied hesitantly.

"Nostalgia hitting you like a brick?" Cameron asked, partially helping.

"More like a train than a brick, but yeah,"

"Y'know, if you ever need a, like extra rung on the ladder, step-stone type of human as a way for you to get better, I'd gladly let you step on me,"

"That's very helpful," Kat rolled her greyish eyes. "I appreciate it, but my plan is to work on myself through capitalism, not stepping on you, Cam-Cameron,"

"Cam-Cameron?" Steve popped out of the back of Cameron's head. 

"If you say that nickname right now you won't be able to say anything else forever," Cameron and Kat said at the same time, Kat well-versed with Cameron's antics.

"Oh. Okay," Steve stammered.

"Well, now that Resident Sunshine has stopped sulking about growing up, let's go to lunch, Stevie-baby," Cameron slapped both of their backs at the same time. "We're hideously late,"

They made their way to the cafeteria, Kat's bookbag feeling heavier than usual. Spying Nancy and Jonathan in their usual corner, Kat shot a wink at her younger sister, who'd clearly made up with her boyfriend. Lining up in the lunch line, which didn't have a lot of people since they were late, but Kat kept being shoved from the back by people bumping into her, hitting poor Steve (who was in front of her in the line) multiple times.

"Sorry," she muttered to him.

"'S okay," he said under his breath in response.

"Are we dropping off Dustin today as well?" Kat said, trying to ease the slight awkwardness around them.

"I mean, yeah. Think so, little shit's gonna need a way to get home,"

"Yeah," Kat laughed, before remembering something. "Oh, I forgot to tell you earlier; I can't ride with you to the carnival on Saturday,"

"Whaat? Why?" Steve said in slight suprise, taking two gray plastic lunch trays and handing one to her.

"My mom asked me to drive Mike to the arcade. I can still go to the carnival after, but I won't be able to meet up with you at six since Mike wants to go at seven,"

"That's not a problem," Steve shrugged. "I can leave my house at seven as well; we can even race each other to Fort Wayne,"

"Yeah! yeah," Kat brightened. Steve could always find a way around her mom's requests. "That'll be fun,"

"Right?" Steve grinned at her, before his face fell into seriousness. "But seriously. I'm not gonna lay this really thick on you, but you do a lot of stuff for Mike that he seems like he's fine doing on his own,"

"It's nothing," Kat said. "I've looked after him for thirteen years, I'm used to it,"

"Yeah, I get that. But he's fine doing a lot of this stuff by himself, or even your mom doing it instead of you. No offense, I just feel like- y'know, maybe I'm misinterpreting, but you're stressed, Katie. Like, a lot of stress about stuff you don't- need to handle,"

"Steve, I'm not offended," Kat said warmly. "It's just like I told you before; I'm...y'know, the oldest sibling-"

"-That's not a good reason, Kit-Kat," Steve tsked. "You deserve more than parenting 24/7 the past eighteen years,"

"I-" Kat said, before stopping, looking down at her lunch tray abashedly, knowing inside that Steve was a hundred-percent right.

"Y'know what? I'm sorry, sorry for pushing you, that was rude. It was bullshit," he said, noticing her dejected face and blurting out the sentence in one breath, hasty regret showing in his dark eyes.

"No- no, it wasn't bullshit," Kat shook her head in protest. "You're fine for bringing that up. It- it's a me problem, I can fix it,"

"I- thanks," Steve blinked twice. "I just- I wanna help,"

"Thanks, I appreciate it," Kat smiled, and her heart glowed with gratititude. She looked back up at Steve, the pale blue lighting of the cafeteria reflected in the browned gold that was his eyes. Kat fiddled with the tip of her tray as the smile lingered. It was nice to have someone who cared. 

They came up to where the food was being given out. Squinting past Steve, Kat could see people with their trays filled with a slice of pizza, corn, a fruit cup, and a carton of either regular or chocolate milk.

"Hey, Sue," Kat said as she laid her tray in front of an elderly lady with frazzled gray hair. 

"Hello, sweetie," Sue said, smiling as she laid a slice of pizza on her tray, spooning some corn into the corner. "Who's the boy?" she pointed with her lips at Steve, who was a good few feet ahead of her, waiting for the milk.

"Steve. A friend," Kat replied, though she looked down at her tray in order to supress any further emotion from potentially surging upwards.

"Well, he's very handsome," Sue said, passing her tray back. "And Kathryn- oh!"

Sue turned around to face an empty box.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, we're out of fruit cups," Sue said apologetically. "We- yep, we're completely out,"

"Oh. That's totally okay," Kat said, taking her tray back with a smile.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah! That's fine. Have a nice day!"

"You too, Kathryn," Sue grinned, giving her tray a little tap before turning to the next person.

"Where's your fruit cup?" Steve asked in confusion from where he waited for her at the end of the counter.

"They ran out," Kat said grimly, looking down at her meal of hard corn and soggy pizza.

"You can have mine," Steve said, picking up his own and offering it to her.

"No. No, you take it," Kat said, pushing it away slightly.

"It's okay. I don't need vitamins to keep in shape, just dairy," Steve grinned like a puppy, tapping the two cartons of milk on his tray.

Kat rolled her eyes, though she smiled. "Thank you,"

━━author's note ━━

adressing kat's childhood trauma:

-growing up, since so much of her own childhood was being 'mature' and looking after her siblings, it's ingrained in kat to be maternal (a good thing!), though it's getting in the way of her having a good teenage, normal life.

-the expectation of being responsible imposed on oldest daughters is WRONG. in kat's case, karen put so much pressure on her that it is truly traumatic and affects her in her daily life, as shown how she couldn't drive with steve to the carnival. 

-kat is not being a bitch. and neither is karen. steve's role was to give kat a little kick start in order to heal, and she's doing so. karen was vulnerable when she gave birth to kat. she was barely out of high school, newly married, and to a man she only had adrenaline for. yes, karen should not have had kat that early, she shouldn't have done the things she did. but we have to acknowledge her reasons.