I wasn’t about to lie about not thinking about self-harming these past few days, because I really was. I looked down at my scars, memories flooding back of those unfortunate times and the hurt I was feeling. I squeezed my eyes shut, harry’s sudden contact with my scars making me nauseous. I nodded in agreement with his statement. I knew I couldn’t do this to myself again, I would hurt harry. At this point I was numb, I felt nothing. The lingering hunger pains had now disappeared, and all I wanted to do was sleep. “I’m going to sleep, Harry.” I said before wiggling out of his grasp and collapsing onto my side of the bed. Harry nodded before looking at the clock; I did the same realizing it was now 4:00 am. Harry laid beside me, and placed his arm on the curve on my side, right above my hip. I pulled the sheets up to my face and closed my eyes.

HARRY’S P.O.V

As I held amy’s arm in my hand she looked down at the scars before roughly shutting her eyes. I knew she was still uncomfortable about me coming in contact with her scars, which indicated her once unstable state. She fell into a deep thought before looking at me “I’m going to sleep, Harry.” She said to me in a monotone voice, I let go of her arm and glanced at the clock which sat on the bed side table, it was 4:00 am. Amy had already made herself comfortable before I had laid down. I draped my arm on the curve on her side before she pulled up the sheets and hid herself beneath them. I knew amy was hurt, I was expecting her to be. But one thing worried me above the rest, relapse. The last thing I wanted for her was to go back into the state she was in before. I needed her to be happy; I know her father wants her to be happy. I wanted to be the reason she’s happy. I sat and stared at her for some time, taking in every detail of her face, the only thing that was shown was sadness. Her once relaxed face now in a slight frown, shown on her eyebrows furrowing inwards. Her hands fisting the sheets towards her, her legs were brought up to her chest. She looked so venerable. I softly moved a strand of hair behind her ear, before kissing her nose. I went deeper into the sheets before getting closer to her; I closed my eyes and hoped she’d be better when she woke up.

AMY’S P.O.V

I was in and out of sleep the whole night. Continuous thoughts of my father entering my mind, causing flash backs I hoped would stop. The sun was now beginning to rise and I was feeling cold. I looked down at the end of the bed and saw the blanket had been kicked off by harry and I. I was wrapped in harry’s arms, I didn’t want to wake him so I decided I was going to stay in my position and hopefully fall back to sleep. I was staring at the wall right over harry’s shoulder and zoned out. A completely random memory entered my mind of my father and I when I was a little girl. I remembered it so clearly as my father pulled up to the lake with water so clear the rocks beneath the surface sparkled in the sun. I quickly hopped out of the car and ran up to the water, staring into it amazed. The air was fresh and crisp, and dew sat on the grass as the morning was new. My dad popped the trunk open and pulled out two chairs and our fishing rods. He placed them down by the water and set up the chairs before gathering the bate and our food and closing the trunk. I remembered how I sat and talked with him and talked about everything, and when we got a fish I would cheer and clap my hands in excitement. A smile curved on my lips as I remembered the memory, which soon put me in tears. I let the tears escape as I cuddled closer to harry, putting my face up to his chest and letting my tears find their way to his shirt. His hold seemed to tighten as I cried into him. He had woken up, now rubbing my arm as I silently cried onto him. “shh, love.” He said in a raspy tone. I took in a deep shaky breath as he whispered soothing words into my ear. I sat up on the bed and looked over at the clock 9:00am, I guess it was time for me to get up, but I didn’t want to leave bed. I could lay in bed for days by the way I was feeling. I didn’t feel up to anything right now, I didn’t even want to eat. I sighed as I grabbed my phone and lay back down. Harry was lying facing me; I smiled at him before moving a group of curls from his forehead. I began to dial alyssa’s number to tell her the news and ask her to come to the funeral. Alyssa was very close with my family; I felt it was only right for her to come. I held the phone to my ear as the noise indicated it was ringing on her side. Not a moment later she answered “hi babe!” she said happily. I smiled before answering her “hi babe.” I said back, my voice was scratchy and tired. “how are you? How is everything?” she said. “I’m alright, I uhm-“ I said before taking a sharp breath “my dad. He passed away this morning.” I said shutting my eyes not wanting to cry. Her end was silent for a moment before she began “I’m so sorry.” She said sounding hurt. I let out a scoffed laugh “it’s okay it’s okay.” I insisted. Sniffles were heard on her end of the phone, I was hoping Louis was there to comfort her. “don’t cry, please.” I said. Harry moved close to me and held my free hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “ do you want to come to the funeral, love?” I asked. “of course, I have to.” She said, still sounding hurt. I felt bad; I couldn’t handle having her like this and me not being there for her. “I’ll be there by tonight, could I stay in the room with you?” she asked. “of course of course! Harry and I will get a room with two beds, that’s no problem at all.” I said. A sigh of relief was escaped from her mouth. “What about champ though?” she said. I mentally cursed completely forgetting about my dog, having him with us would be too much, and he wasn’t used to the boys yet. I didn’t know how to answer her, the only choice I had was for her to bring him. “bring him.” I said. Harry’s eyebrows came closer together as he didn’t know who ‘him’ was. “are you sure?” “he can’t stay with any of the boys, he doesn’t know them well enough.” I said. “he seems to like Louis?” she suggested. I sighed at her suggestion; I just hope my dog wouldn’t harm Louis in anyway. “if you think he’ll be okay with it than it’s okay, if not just bring him with you.” I replied. “okay I’ll call you when I’m about to board!” she said. I laughed as she had sounded slightly excited. “alright I’ll see you soon, I love you bye.” I said, as she did the same. I hung up the phone and placed it beside me. “you hungry, babe?” harry asked. The thought of food making my stomach do flips. I shook my head “are you?” I asked him. He raised his shoulders as an indecisive action. “I want you to eat something.” He said to me. “I can’t.” I said in response. I don’t think he’d understand if I told him that I couldn’t eat because I didn’t feel well enough to. But eating right now would only make it worse. “what do you mean you ‘cant’?” he said. I took a moment to think of how I would respond to his question. “I don’t feel well; the thought of food is making me feel sick.” “you haven’t eaten in nearly 2 days, amy.” He said. I thought about his argument, he was right. I hadn’t eaten dinner two days ago, and yesterday I didn’t eat a thing. I gave in, “okay, I just want a toast harry, really that’s all I’m not feeling well.” I said almost pushing my argument further so he would only let me eat a small amount. “what if I get you toast and eggs? Eggs are good.” I sighed and nodded. Harry reached for the corded phone on the bed side table and called for room service. I sat up and dangled my legs over the end of the bed. Harry finished the call and crawled to the end of the bed, coming up behind me and placing his head on my shoulder. “I love you.” He simply said to me. A smile curved onto my lips as these words fluttered my heart, “I love you too.” I said back. “where’s my kiss?” he said to me in a hurt tone. “hmm I don’t know?” I replied. He nuzzled his head into my neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses up to my jaw line. “pleaseee?” he said. I laughed as I turned to him and kissed his lips. It was a sweet kiss which lasted no more than a few seconds before harry’s lips fell into a smile. I pulled away before kissing his nose, and placing my forehead on his. “I’m going to shower.” I said looking into his eyes. He nodded his head before I got off the bed and walked to my suitcase, kneeling down beside it and pulling out comfy clothes, I wasn’t going anywhere today. I grabbed what I needed before walking to the bathroom. I stripped out of my clothes and adjusted the water before hopping in. the feeling of the water on my skin was soothing as I stood there and soaked in it. I began to wash my hair and body, before washing my face and getting out, wrapping a large towel around my body. I dried myself off then getting dressed in THIS and putting my hair in a high bun. I applied a light amount of lip gloss and then I walked out. Harry was on his laptop doing something as the two trays of food sat at the end of the bed. My stomach instantly feeling sick as I made contact with the silver lid, hiding the food that was inside. Harry looked up from the laptop and smiled at me, then closing the laptop and patting the spot beside him. I climbed onto the bed, crossing my legs under me as harry went to lift the tops of the plates which held our food. I crossed my arms, as one found its way up to my lips. Harry lifted both tops, one with eggs, bacon, and toast, which I assume was harry’s. And the other holding a slice of toast and a small egg. “do you want a water?” he asked me. I nodded my head and harry got up from his spot and walked to the mini fridge by the large window. I felt like gagging, the smell of the food now filling the room, not helping my weak stomach at all. Harry came back with a water and handed it to me. I opened the top and drank as much as I could, to avoid eating so much food. I grabbed the silver fork that sat beside the plate of food and twirled it around my fingers before taking a small piece off the egg. I shoved it into my mouth quickly and forcing it down. I did this until I was about 5 bites in and I couldn’t handle the egg anymore. I picked u[ the toast and slowly took bites out of it before finishing it completely. “I’m finished.” I said looking over at harry who was flicking through his phone. He looked over at me before checking my plate which held a small piece of egg. “good job.” He said before taking both our plates and placing them onto the cart they came on. I laid on the bed before harry came and joined me. “you alright, love?” he asked stroking my cheek. I nodded my head “I’m really tired.” “it’s only-“ he said before checking his phone “10:30” he confirmed. I crawled under the sheets and made myself confortable. “I’m going to sleep.” I said. Harry nodded his head before grabbing his laptop and lying beside me. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**

I woke up to harry poking my sides. I groaned and slapped his hand away before turning away and cuddling up to the sheets. Harry threw his body on top of mine “get off me!” I said lashing my body every which way. “come on I’m taking you out for dinner.” He said kissing my cheek. I sighed at what he had said, I really didn’t want to go out for diner, but he planned this and I didn’t want to back away from it. “ugh” I said before sitting up and rubbing my eyes, “what do I wear?” I asked. Harry raised his shoulders “something casual, this isn't fancy.” He said. I nodded my head before getting an outfit out of my suitcase and walking to the bathroom, leaving harry to change in the main room. I changed out of my comfy clothes and put on THIS. I put on a light amount of make-up, and some perfume. I then grabbed my hand bag, and put my phone in it. I slowly walked out, making sure harry was decent. I fully exited the bathroom, to be greeted by harry “you look lovely.” He smiled down at me, but the smile wasn’t enough to bring out his dimple. I looked down “thank you.” A small smile found its way to my lips before harry leaned down and kissed my cheek. He opened the door, allowing me out first, and then followed behind me to the elevator. “no jumping.” I scolded, pointing a finger towards his face. He nodded before letting out a small laugh. He took my hand in his as the elevator door opened, revealing two teenage girls. I was hoping they would play it off cool, and just ignore harry and I, but we had no such luck. The girls were well mannered, yes, but very loud. Their gasps were sounding through the hall, harry placed his hand on a door to keep it from closing on us. “Oh-my-gosh amy and harry are in the same hotel as us!” one girl said to her taller friend. “can we have a picture with you two?” the other girl asked, I looked at harry, before he accepted their offer. It went from harry, to me, and then one girl. We stood and smiled at the camera before the girl switched places and we were now taking yet another photo. I have to admit, the girls were very kind, and after 2 pictures they let us on our way. After giving hugs and saying out good byes we found ourselves in the elevator, harry frantically pressing the button for the doors to close. I giggled at his actions as he really didn’t want them to come back. We stood in silence for a moment before the elevator stopped at a floor, picking up more people. Harry walked over to me and took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. Luckily there were no teenage girls, but an older couple made their way in. the elevator was awkwardly quiet on our way down to the main floor. Harry still held my hand as the elevator came to a stop at the lobby, we walked out first and made our way out to the front doors, crowds of fans were present waiting to get a glimps of harry. I stopped him before we walked out “please sign somethings.” I whispered to him. He looked out the door, then back at me before nodding his head. We walked out the doors, standing close to each other. Flashes went off as many pictures were being taken, harry waved as I just looked down, keeping to myself. Harry made his way to a group of fans holding books wanting his autograph. I just stood beside him and went onto my phone when some girls came up to me. “hi amy, we love you.” One girl, the leader it seemed, said to me. I smiled at them “oh thank you, dear.” I said. They asked for a hug and I accepted, hugging each one individually. I was lucky the fans took a liking to me, atleast some of them did. They were always willing to say hi to me. The girls asked for a picture, I looked over at harry who was talking with fans before looking back at them. I nodded my head as they went on either side of me, there were 4 girls in total. The pictures finally finished and we hugged again, before I waved to them and made my way back to harry. “are you ready, love?” he asked me. I nodded my head, taking his hand in mine, then walking to the car parked right in front of the door. I got in first, then harry joined me. “so where is this place?” I asked curious to know, also wanting to strike up conversation. “it’s only 10 minutes away, the place is very good I think you’ll enjoy it.” He said smiling at me. The car was stuck in traffic, so harry and I had to improvise. Harry took out his phone and we began to take photos and make vines. The driver of the car didn’t seem to mind our giggling from the back seat, as he continued to focus on the road. Harry posted all the photos we had taken, and tagged me in all of them. Since my relationship with harry my instagram had gained many more followers. I didn’t have a twitter, I really didn’t want one, as the hate was strongest there. We were sat in the car for an additional 10 minutes then we finally pulled up to the restaurant. Harry told the driver to be back within the hour as we weren’t going to be out long, then getting out and assisting me out as well. Luckily there were no fans surrounding the building. The air was cold, my breath was shown on the air before me as harry and I walked to the front doors.

**

 Harry held the door open for me, allowing me to enter first. The place was warm, the walls filled with deep reds and orange shades. The air was filled with scents of different foods coming together as one. It was a welcoming place, shown by the waitress who walked up to us. “hello! My name is Maggy, we’ve been expecting you Mr. Styles.” She said nodding to harry, then giving me a smile. She was very slim, her hair was tied in a bun, and her make-up was light. She was far better than the waitress we had encountered a few days ago. She led harry and I to our table, and handed s both menus to scan through. “you two can go through those and I’ll be back in a moment to take your drink orders.” She said with a smile. I smiled at here “thank you.” I said. She nodded and casually walked away. “I like it here.” I said to harry. “I told you that you would.” He smiled at me, I smiled down. I decided I was going for a glass of water to drink. The waitress came back and took our drink orders. “I’ll have a coke please.” Harry nodded at her. She nodded in response as she wrote it down before turning to me with a small smile. I looked down for no reason before making eye contact again “I’ll have a water please.” I said, she nodded “with ice?” “please.” I said. She wrote it down before heading to the back and fetching our drinks. I kept my sights down towards my menu, looking for what I could have for dinner. Preferably the lightest option they had. I decided I was settling with a salad which seemed to be the healthiest and lightest choice for me. I closed my menu and looked across to harry, who seemed indecisive. I smiled at him as he asked for my opinion. “steak or chicken?” he asked. I couldn’t help but let out a giggle at his question. “hmmm.. steak.” I replied with a quick nod of my head. Harry agreed and closed his menu. We chatted quietly until Maggy came back with our drinks and took our order, and with that, she was off again. Harry took my hands in his. I couldn’t help but notice the size difference, “you have really big hands.” I gushed playing with his hands. His lips curved into a smile, showing his dimples, which soon became a low laugh. He allowed me to play with his hands further before he began. “I love you.” He said to me like the times before. “I love you too.” I replied leaving a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I really mean it, amy.” He said looking me straight in the eyes. My eye brows furrowed in as he insisted on his emotion towards me. “so do i.” I said back to him. “I’ll always be here amy, I’m not going anywhere.” He started. “ I’m going to protect you. Your.. your father asked me to take care of you.” He said to me softly. It had taken me back slightly as I took in the words he was spilling to me. I nodded not trusting my voice. “I promise.” He said. His voice sincere, holding high emotion.