[ hello, this might be edited later on. im feeling really off with my writing, so if i feel like this isn't okay in a day or so, then it will be fixed up and you will be informed. ily thank you all for the reads, this is amazing. enjoy it, maybe vote, voting is nice.]

Harry granted me the morning to sleep in. I assumed he knew that I didn’t get very much sleep through the night, but I couldn’t seem to sleep with the morning sun shining on my tired face. I wasn’t sure how long I laid motionless on the bed before Harry quietly came inside the room and sat on my side of the bed. I opened my eyes as he ran his thumb over my cheek.

“Are you hungry?” He whispered.

I shook my head. I couldn’t even imagine getting up from the bed without feeling pain.

“We ordered room service, love. I want you to at least have toast.”

I gave in to him easily, not looking to cause any trouble. I shut my eyes momentarily before nodding. I pushed myself off the bed, whimpering as the pain shot through my stomach to my back. Harry took my hand as I stood up, instantly leaning into him. He held my hips as my head rested on his chest.

“You alright?”

My arms went around him, “I’m fine.”

He kissed my head, then going down to kiss my cheek.

“I need you to eat, now.” He ran his fingers up my back, slowly going back down.

I agreed and pushed myself out of his hold. I declined any help from him as I made my way into the dining area of our suite. If I wanted to perform tonight I had to show that I was okay, even if I was far from being okay.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Alyssa smiled at me, patting the seat beside her for me to sit. “How are you?”

I nodded as I took a seat, forcing my tired body down onto the soft cushion. “I’m good.”

Alyssa knew better than to believe me, but she decided to do me a favor and not make a scene. The tray in front of me had a silver top, covering the food within it. All of our plates were the same, but I almost knew mine had more than just some toast in it.

Harry and Alyssa pulled the tops off their food at the same time. When they saw I didn’t follow, they looked at me with knowing eyes, silently asking for me to do the same.

My hand went to the warm top, lifting by the handle to reveal no more than three slices of toast on my plate. It wasn’t what I expected, but I wasn’t about to complain about the choice. I cup of juice was placed beside my place as I went for the toast. I ripped my first slice in half, working on it bit by bit.

My mind was going crazy as the crunch of my toast vanished with each bite I took. I wasn’t going to stay hidden between the walls of this hotel, I needed to perform tonight. I knew Harry wouldn’t let me, but I also knew it wasn’t his choice. It was mine. I didn’t want to send anybody off the edge with sudden choices, so I decided I would inform them on my thoughts.

“I want to perform tonight.” I casually said as I took another bite from my toast.

Harry forced a swallow, “Absolutely not.” He shook his head.

“I wasn’t asking.” I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

Alyssa sat silently as she observed us.

“You’re in no condition to run around on stage if you could barely get out of bed today.”

My hands folded in my lap, “If I don’t go I’ll be miserable.”

“Amelia, I said no.” He glared at me. “The last thing you need is to get in even worse condition.” His hands motioned towards me. “Look at you! You’re so tired.”

“Well, if she wants to go, it’s really her choice.” Alyssa shrugged towards Harry. “Amy is the owner and CEO of Amy Lee, and if she decides she wants to perform then she can do that.”

“She doesn’t call the shots on tour, no one does that-,”

“Just because Harry Styles isn’t in charge of his own tour, doesn’t mean other people aren’t in charge of theirs.” Alyssa stated calmly as she cut through her egg. “If you looked through her tour contract, you would see that not even her managers can change her show dates, it’s all her decision.” She stuck a piece of bacon into her mouth. “She is in charge of the stage, the tour dates, the outfits, the songs- everything.”

Harry sat silently as Alyssa pointed out her facts.

“So really,” Alyssa pointed at Harry. “you can’t tell her what to do in this case.”

I felt the need to clap but decided not to do that at this time. I’d congratulate her later, and possibly even thank her for saving me like that later.

“I’m trying to help you, Amelia.” Harry looked over at me. “And I know you aren’t in the right condition to be performing, at least not tonight.”

“Amy,” Alyssa placed down her fork. “do you want to perform tonight?”

I opened my mouth to answer her, but my actions were proven to be too slow for Harry’s outburst.

“Are you trying to piss me off?” Harry asked in a threatening tone. “It isn’t good for her to perform tonight.”

“Harry, I know what’s good for her.” Alyssa replied softly. “I know how to take care of her, and if she wants to do this, she can do this.”

Harry scoffed, “The last time I left you to take care of her, look what happened.”

I gasped at his indirect accusation before I stood from my stop. I didn’t react to the pain in my body as I walked off to my room, shutting the door and locking it behind me. My sudden decision might be a bad one, as I took Harry’s words into acute consideration. I can do this, I’m not scared. I went to the bedside table and took my phone off its charger and dialing the first number that came to mind. My manager.

She answered the phone after two rings, and seemed excited to hear from me. I apologized for the night before. Harry began knocking at the door, asking for me to come out. As I asked my manager to get everyone to the arena, I kicked the door to get Harry to stop.

“You want to perform tonight?” She asked out of disbelief.

“Yes.” I confirmed. “Just get everyone there, and send a driver to pick me up.”

“Of course, dear.” She said in a rushed tone. “The car will be there soon, I’ll text you once it arrives.”

I thanked her before hanging up. I ignored Harry as he knocked on the door, begging for me to come out and talk to him. I had more important things to do. I took out clothes to wear for the day before I began packing the rest of them away. We were getting on the bus tonight, off to another city.

Sadly, there wasn’t a bathroom in my room, so I had to exit eventually. I packed the last of my belongings tightly before zipping up my overly packed suitcase. I lifted it onto the bed, groaning at the pain in the process. I rubbed my tired hands together before unlocking the door and stepping out. In order to get to the bathroom, I had to pass through the dining area, where both Harry and Alyssa still sat.

I didn’t let this phase me very much. As I exited the hall and walked right into the bright dining area, I looked directly at them, raising my hand in a wave before turning into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and applied my make up before Harry decided it was a good idea to walk in on me. I combed through my hair as he watched me through the mirror, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“You’re going, aren’t you?” His voice was calmer now.

I nodded my head, “I am.”

He sighed, shaking his head as we quickly made eye contact. My eyes darted back to the ends of my hair upon reaching his gaze.

“I’m not mad.” He assured me. “I’m just, worried.”

I placed the brush down on the counter again, then turning to face him. I placed myself on the counter to give us more space.

“Don’t be.” I shook my head. “Harry, I’m fine.”

He came towards me, defeating the purpose of me moving in the first place. He lowered his eyes to mine as he stood between my legs. I still found it hard to look at him directly, my eyes, again, found an easier target to focus on. I looked down at the jeans on Harry’s hips, taking one of the loops between my fingers.

“Look at me.”

I bit my lip as I lifted my head up again, looking into his pained green eyes. His hand travelled up to my jaw, keeping me in place.

“I’m coming with you.” He nodded. “Just promise me one thing,”

I nodded, “Okay.”

“Be careful, please.”

“I will, I promise.”

He leaned down, connecting our lips in a single kiss before pulling away and looking at me again. My hand went to the necklace hanging off his neck, taking it into my hand and looking at it. I gave him this for Christmas, and I never thought he would wear it.

I kissed his jaw as my phone vibrated on the counter beside me. I looked down at it, and a text from my manager showed on the screen. The car was waiting for me.

“The car is here.” I said to Harry as I tried getting off the counter. His hands held me in place.

“Kiss me, quickly.”

I laughed before leaning up again, pressing numerous kisses to his lips, finishing with a kiss on the side of his mouth. I slid off the counter and went to the door, holding Harry’s hand as we exited. I went over to the door and slipped on my shoes, watching Harry as he went over to Alyssa.

“Stay here tonight, I’ll go with her.” He said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I can see you’re tired.”

She looked over at me as I sat on the floor, tying my laces. “Do you want me to come?”

I shook my head, “Stay and relax.”

She nodded, coming towards me. She knelt down to me, kissing me on the cheek before whispering in my ear, “Do what feels right.”

I nodded, smiling up at her as she stood and went to her room. Harry watched me as I took five minutes to tie my shoes; it only took him two seconds to put on his boots. I laughed as he got frustrated with me, bending down and tying my shoes for me.

“Harry, I was almost done!”

She shook his head, tying a double knot so I wouldn’t have to waste his time again. “Let’s go, you’re always late.”

He placed an arm under my legs, and one on my back as he lifted me into his arms. I couldn’t contain my laughter as he closed the door behind us, walking to the elevator and kicking the arrow with his foot. I wiggled in his hold as the door opened, asking for him to put me down.

“Harry sto-op.” I whined as the doors closed. “Let me down, I won’t be slow, I swear.”

He placed me on my feet again, holding out his pinky. “Swear?”

I stuck mine out, wrapping it around his and nodding. He smiled at me before kissing me and releasing our fingers. He held my hand as the door opened, now facing the open lobby. We went through the back doors and got into the car quickly. Harry apologized for being late before he slammed the door, telling the driver to get us there quickly.

Once everything around me became less hectic, I thought about what I was going to do. I can do this, I’m not scared.

HARRY’S P.O.V

The front of the arena was packed with fans waiting for Amelia to show up. As soon as her performance was announced for tonight, everyone was trying to guess why she had cancelled in the first place. It was a sore topic, and one I hoped we would never get into again.

Security guards helped us out of the car, taking us through the crowed. I watched Amy in awe as she connected with her fans for a split second, waving at the ones she could before being pulled away. She blew them kisses as we entered the building, the doors shut behind us, causing her to lose contact.

Once we were inside, it was almost like Amy knew exactly what to do. She kissed be before sending me off into the arena, telling me to get a seat. She ran off after that, her hair swayed behind her as her sound man attached her microphone to her back. She thought she had me completely fooled, but I knew just how much pain she was in.

I shook my head before turning to the doors; opening them to find the arena she would be performing in. It was surprisingly big, and her show was sold out. Tonight, each seat would be filled, but as of now, only a few would be occupied.

Her manager instantly greeted me once I neared the front row. She stood and hugged me lightly before motioning for me to take a seat beside her. Amy’s choreographer, Mike, walked out and completely avoided me. I didn’t know how I felt about him after yesterday’s incident, but if Amy hired him, he must be good.

Amy walked out onto the stage, holding her sparkling microphone in both of her hands. She looked so vulnerable. She shyly smiled towards Mike, and then waved at the dancers behind him. The all got up onto the stage, gathering around her and having a group hug. I smiled slightly at them; they were truly concerned for her. I knew that no one knew what really happened, apart from Amy’s manager, Alyssa and I.

“Amelia.” Mike said through his microphone. “How are you, darling?”

She nodded, “Really good.”

“What do you want to go over today?” He asked her softly. “We don’t need to go the throw if you don’t want t-,”

“I-,” She stopped, placing her hand over her mouth quickly. Her eyes watered as she blinked away the small tears. “I want to.”

I looked at her with wide eyes after she responded. I turned to glance at her manager quickly; she held the same expression on her face. I wasn’t going to protest, I knew that if I pulled that shit again Amy would be beyond mad. I played Alyssa’s words over and over again in my head, do what feels right. If this felt right, she was going to go forth with it.

Mike raised his hand, pointing at some of the dancers and motioning for them to split up. Five went to Amy, the other five stayed back. Mike asked if everyone was ready, and with a nod of all six heads, the music was played. I listened as Amy hit her high note, not flinching as she was shot up into the air flawlessly. Holding her posture, she was caught in the same position she was in to begin with. She continued to finish her song, moving as quickly as she could along the stage. It was obvious, at least to me that she was in pain. It was something I had to witness; she wanted this more than I could explain. And for some reason, I respected her so much more for pulling through so well. I knew she wasn’t fine, she wasn’t healed within the hours she had been resting- but she had gained enough strength to keep her composure.

5 hours later, Amy had accomplished more than I had today. She had gone through her whole show, practiced her jump, and accomplished a quick sound check. Now we were in her dressing room. She sat in a silk robe now, her name printed in cursive on the back. She looked like a goddess. A small salad sat on her lap as she picked at it, occasionally putting pieces into her mouth.

“Eat, baby.” I encouraged her, rubbing her arm. “At least half of it, for me?”

She let out a breath, nodding towards me before she took to her salad again. Her make-up artist sat on the couch on the other side of the room, minding her business as she looked at her phone.

I sat with Amy for twenty more minutes until she finished the whole salad. I talked to her throughout this time, keeping her mind off whatever seemed to be consuming her thoughts. When she was done, she threw the container in the garbage before calling over her make-up artist. She lay back in the chair, Her hands folding on her stomach and closing her eyes as her make-up was applied. We all talked to each other through her make-up application, which to me, felt like hours. Once Amy was finished, another half hour had passed, and she now looked completely different.

I watched as she examined herself in the mirror, touching the fake lashes on her eye lids before turning to the artist and high fiving her. She smiled at her, thanking her as she left the change room. As soon as the door shut Amy looked at herself again.

“How do I look?”

“Beautiful.” I said. “How do you feel?”

She looked at me, “Like throwing up.”

I stood up, walking towards her. I stood behind her chair, placing my hands on her shoulders and lightly massaging them. She shut her eyes, bowing her head and taking a deep breath. I told her she wouldn’t feel good before, but again, I wasn’t going to rub it in her face.

Her hair hung in loose curls behind her as she kept her head down. I told her she didn’t have to perform, that we could get on the bus right now and move on. She declined again. She was determined to do this, and I know that this was her way of covering up her pain. This was how she would cope.

“I’m literally going to throw up.” She said, popping her head back up.

She stood up, causing my hands to fall off her shoulders. Her fingers went to block her mouth as she walked to the bathroom. The silk gown was barely covering her bottom as she bent down. I rushed to her, turning on the lights and taking her hair into my hands. She swore before and after she had gotten sick, groaning during each break she had.

I found myself holding her hair for another ten minutes after that. Soon she had concluded her process, and she insisted she was fine, and proceeded to brush her teeth. I watched her again, taking in how she was acting.

“Amelia, are you-,”

“Shut up, Harry.” She held up a hand to silence me. “I’m fine, I’m just nervous.”

She rinsed her mouth before wiping off her lips. I went up behind her, holding her and placing my chin on her shoulder. “Remember your promise?”

She nodded. “I’m being careful.”

I couldn’t fight with her, even though I was already forming sentences in my brain to tell her off. I kissed her cheek, silencing my thoughts before she spoke up. I didn’t hear her, though. I watched her lips in the mirror, admiring her fully.

How could I end up with someone like her? It seemed like it was too good to be true, but in that case, I wasn’t arguing with it. I couldn’t ask for anyone more flawless, anyone stronger than the girl I held to my body. She had to be a goddess. I had so much respect for her, more respect than I ever had for a girl before. I had never seen anyone so tough, and I never had the pleasure to call someone like her, mine until now. And I was lucky to be able to say that.

I looked at her again, being completely sucked into her beauty.

“Harry?”

I snapped out of my daze, Amy’s eyes being the last thing to cross my mind.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

She sighed, “When do you have to leave?”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

She shook her head before looking down at my hands on her front. She pulled them apart, turning in my hold to face me. Her hands went up to my jaw, they seemed to do this each time she was this close to me.

“I need to prepare myself.” She whispered.

My hands wrapped around her back, pulling her closer to me. Our stomachs now touched as our faces were centimeters apart.

“Tomorrow night.” I placed my forehead on hers. “Right after your show is when I leave.”

I watched as she blinked, keeping her eyes shut for a moment before looking back at me. I saw her eyes begin to water as she looked at me longer, this must have been even harder on her than it was on me. And it was extremely hard on me.

“Don’t cry, baby.” I hushed. “Don’t cry.”

She shook her head, now shaking herself out of my hold and going to the closed toilet seat. “Everything is going wrong, Harry.” She whispered.

I knelt down in front of her, taking her small hand into mine. I rubbed over her knuckles with my thumb as she tried to keep her tears inside her. This was where she began to break; I knew she wouldn’t last very long, not after what she had been through.

“Nothing is going wrong,” I placed my other hand on her knee. “You’re doing everything right, everything is fine.” She looked at me. “I know that everything looks bad now, but I know it is going to be alright. You’re going to be alright, you’re doing well.”

She took in a breath, wiping her tears lightly to not ruin her make-up.

“I’m such a fucking mess.” She shook her head. “I’m so confused.”

I took both of her arms into my hands, pulling her down to look at me. “Do you remember our deal?”

Her blue eyes were surrounded by thin red veins as she looked into me deeply, nodding her head lightly.

“One month.” I reminded. “If you feel this way in one month, I’ll come get you.” I kissed her pouting lips. “I’ll always come back to you.”

Always. Always. Always.