[i'm sorry that this took so long! but i had such bad writer's block (it sounds like some disease). sorry if there are some typos, i'll be sure to fix them as soon as possible! enjoy this chapterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!]

I had to admit that I was a complete mess at the show I forced myself through. I wasn’t about to give in and say I should have listened to Harry, because I’m glad I didn’t. I needed to get over my personal issues for the sake of my career.

After the show, Harry and I went back to the tour bus, wasting no time in leaving the state we were currently in. Alyssa had gotten in before us, and was found asleep in her bed when we arrived. We made our way to bed also, wanting nothing more than to be covered in the thick sheets.

We did what we usually had- talking until one of us fell asleep. This time, I was the first to fall asleep, but I didn’t remain that way. Throughout the night I had woken up slowly, finding it harder and harder to get back to my slumber. As hard as I tried to hide my physical and emotional pain, I felt like it was becoming more and more evident just how hurt I was over this. Who could blame me? I had something taken away from me before it even became mine, and my hope had grown so high that I couldn’t even fathom that occurring, until it actually did. It was like a slap in the face, the moment I hit the floor I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow myself to think of anything as extreme as a miscarriage. Up until they had confirmed it for me at the hospital, I had convinced myself fully that everything was fine.

I couldn’t believe how stupid and irresponsible I had been. I often thought about what could have happened if I declined having a new stunt put in, or if I said that I was extremely set on what we had planned. I already knew the answer, but I asked myself over and over again until I brought myself into so much guilt I could barely stand myself.

If I didn’t give in, I would still be pregnant. It’s as simple as that. But simplicity never did go my way, and I never wanted to disappoint. And not wanting to disappoint others, led to me disappointing myself greatly.

“I know you’re still awake.” Harry mumbled from behind me. “You need your sleep, baby.”

“I can’t.” I whispered. “I’ve tried.”

I felt Harry shift behind me, hearing him click the light on. I opened my eyes, seeing a dim light shining on the wall in front of me. I pushed myself up, looking over towards Harry as I pushed my hair out of my face.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He rubbed his eyes.

I shook my head, “You already know, and I don’t want to repeat it.”

“Come here.”

I shifted closer to him, turning to lay my head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around me completely. I knew he was tired; his voice was raspy with sleep as he softly spoke to me.

“Have I told you that I love you?”

“Maybe once before.” I almost laughed.

“I don’t want you to be upset.” He sighed. “I know it’s hard, but I don’t want you to keep thinking it over, and over again. You and I both know just what it’s doing to you.”

I exhaled, “I can’t stop.”

“Try,” He started. “you need to try hard, for me.”

“I am.”

He kissed my head, “Now, you need to sleep.”

“Hold me.” I barely whispered.

Harry didn’t reply as he pulled the sheets up higher to cover my shoulders. He soon began humming, working his hand on my spine to draw soft lines.

I last remember him kissing my temple, telling me that he loves me again. His soft lips and tender words pushed me into a deep sleep, a much needed escape.

The next morning I woke up to Harry lying on my chest, still asleep. I peered down at the lovely figure currently resting on me. He had to be an angel. His lips were swollen, slightly parted as he lightly breathed. His hair was a mess of curls, now fanned out on my shirt. His arms wrapped around my torso, his legs intertwined with mine.

I could stay forever this way with him, and only him.

My hand went to his hair, lightly combing it through with my fingers. My mind was so numb from the night before, I couldn’t get myself to think about recent events. I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to think about them really.

I wanted to sleep more than anything right now. Knowing I only had about four hours of sleep, I felt like I should just force sleep upon myself. I shut my eyes, listening to the steady breathing of Harry in hopes it would put me to sleep again.

I must have laid there for an hour before I grew restless, and extremely frustrated. I slowly pulled myself away from Harry, being extremely careful not to wake him up as I did so. As I was free from the bed, I turned to cover him so he wouldn’t grow cold.

His shirt hung off my top, flowing down long enough to cover my bottom. It was still necessary for me to put on pants, sadly. I took to my bag and pulled out a pair of tights, quickly putting them on before walking out of my room, shutting the door behind me.

Alyssa and Luna sat directly across at the lounge area.

“Good morning!” Alyssa cheered.

Luna smiled as I walked over to her, holding my arms out to pick her up. She squealed as I lifted her up, kissing her cheek before sitting on the couch across from Alyssa. Watching Luna grow had to be one of the best experiences of my life. Now being three months old, she had grown so much compared to just weeks ago.

“She’s happy to see you.” Alyssa slightly laughed. “How are you feeling?”

I shrugged, “Sore. I’m really tired.” I pouted.

She nodded her head, and told me that in time I would get better. I believed her, I always believed her. We sat and talked for a while longer, occasionally looking out the window, but always finding we were in the middle of nowhere.

Harry soon walked out of the room, and went straight into the bathroom. I sat back, still holding Luna in my arms as I played with her. She smiled, and laughed occasionally as I kissed her cheeks or made noises at her.

“When’s the next stop?” Alyssa whined, rolling onto her back.

I hummed, “I think we’re supposed go to Michigan, and then by tomorrow we’ll be in Canada.”

“And then…”

“Then back to America, and then Europe.” I thought, “A-and then it ends.”

She turned to face me, “Can we have a party when it’s all over?”

I laughed, “Yes.”

Harry walked into the lounge after that, scratching his head as he yawned. He greeted Alyssa before walking over to me, pecking my lips and then sitting beside me. I watched Luna as she turned to look at him, smiling once he made a face at her. Her arms went up, and she was soon passed over to Harry.

I walked over to the window, looking out it again. It looked like we had made it into the city, finally. I then went to the driver, asking when we would be stopping. He informed me that in a half hour, we would be at the arena, and then we were free to go.

I thanked him, and then travelled back to the lounge.

“The bus gets to the arena in a half hour.” I said as I took a seat beside Alyssa.

She groaned, rolling her head back onto the head rest.

“I take it you two don’t like the bus?”

“Of course we don’t!” Alyssa sat up. “No one likes the bus.”

I nodded my head, “She’s right.”

“I like the bus.”

She scoffed, “Oh shut up, your bus is way bigger than this.”

Harry laughed and explained that their bus had to carry more than five people at a time, compared to ours that usually carried no more than four. The conversation ended when Alyssa got up to take a shower, leaving Harry and I with Luna.

He got up and sat beside me, cradling Luna in his large arms as he quietly spoke to me. I wasn’t listening to him as he told me some tour story, but I was looking down at the baby he held to carefully in his arms.

I envied Alyssa at times like this. She had managed to give Louis something he didn’t even want in the first place, but I couldn’t do so much as give Harry what he so desperately wanted. I was angry. The only form of a child we had a sliver of knowing wasn’t even ours, but our best friend’s. And even though we could see Luna as often as we wanted, it could never compare to how it must feel to call a child your own. It just wasn’t fair.

I needed some sort of escape from these deadly thoughts that constantly managed to seep into my most innocent thoughts. My old habits weren’t an option, although I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to lie to Harry if he asked if I had been thinking about doing such things to myself. Because I definitely was, at the beginning.

But I learned through the struggle of habit and the stains on the white carpet of my Canadian home that, that habit was no way to live. What were those deepest sorrowed cuts trying to prove, what was I trying to prove to myself? I didn’t know, but the scars on my arm were a constant reminder of the mistakes I had ticked off, and the hurt I suffered was lined in the thinnest lines- the thinnest lines that held the widest and thickest amounts of pain.

“Amy.” I felt poking at my shoulder. “Wake up.”

My thoughts had covered me completely in thought, and seemingly brought me to a sleep I didn’t intend for.

“Sorry.” I shook my head.

Harry kissed me cheek; Luna was now free of his arms, so I was to assume that Alyssa was out of the shower. Harry’s arms slid up my legs to grab my waist, pulling me onto his lap in a desperate attempt.

“Let’s go skating.” Harry said into my hair. “I know a good place.”

“Isn’t it cold?”

He laughed, “It is winter, love.”

I sat back and took his phone out of his sweat pants pocket, checking the time. It was eleven now.

“So, do you want to go or not?”

I looked at him and laughed at his waiting glare.

I nodded my head, bringing a smile to my lips as he now looked at me with shining eyes. I got up and went to the bedroom with Harry following close behind. He closed the door behind us as we got in, turning to look at me. I smiled lightly as he came towards me, bending down as he stood before me, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

His head dipped to my neck, peppering kisses on the sensitive skin. My head turned to the side, allowing him to continue his loving actions. My hands went to the nape of his neck, holding some of his lower curls on between my fingers. His lips traveled up to my jaw, kissing down the bone.

I turned to face him. My eyes connected with the hard green of his, but soon lost eye contact as I leaned in for a much needed kiss. His hands pulled me closer to his body, allowing our fronts to press together as we shared a passionate kiss.

My lips worked against Harry’s, but soon gave in as Harry took control. I allowed him to push me back onto the bed. He still held me as he hovered over me and stood between my legs, moving his lips to my jaw again. His distraction was surely working as he moved down to my neck, leaving a small love bite on the skin before kissing over the top. The skin was sore, tingling at the surface as he kissed it once more.

My eyes opened as his face was before mine, our noses touching as he looked at me again. I leaned up, taking his bottom lip in between my teeth. He smiled before pressing down on me, kissing me again. It had seemed like the kiss was getting deeper and deeper, becoming more mesmerising the more his soft lips met mine. His hand trailed down my front, making its way to my band of my leggings and slightly pulling on the material. I turned my head away, breaking the kiss.

“No, Harry, we can’t” I pressed.

He continued to kiss my neck, “We can, and I’ll be quiet.”

“No.” I tried to wiggle out of his hold. “Harry, seriously we can’t do this.”

“Why?” He finally obeyed, pulling away and looking at me.

I covered my face out of embarrassment, “Harry, that’s embarrassing.” I whined. “You’re lying on top of me, and you want me to explain this to you.”

“You can tell me things, Amelia.”

I still struggled to get out of his hold, “Let me go first.”

Harry took his weight off me, and allowed me to sit on the bed in front of him. He asked for an answer, looking concerned as he peered at me.

“After all that happened,” I used hand motions, hoping Harry would catch on. “I’m like, bleeding.” I cringed at my own words.

“I’m sorry.” Harry crawled on the bed, pinning me down once more.

I groaned, “Stop it.”

“I’m sorry.” He said, he promised.

“Okay, Harry.”

He kissed my cheek, “I’m sorry.” He then pecked my lips. “You’re supposed to say, ‘it’s okay.’”

I laughed, “It’s okay.”

It took us an hour to finally get off the bus. As soon as Alyssa had left to do whatever she wanted, Harry decided it was time to be as loud as he could. I stood by, doing my make-up, as he stood shirtless in front of the mirror, singing extremely loud. With a shirt in each hand, Harry held one up at a time, continuing his song as he switched shirts. Soon enough a shirt was chosen, and he was on to new things, but continued to sing.

I didn’t really mind because his voice was beautiful.

I finished getting dressed and ready quickly, not wanting to keep Harry waiting in the lounge any longer. I walked out and put on my boots beside him, fixing my jacket before looking up at him. He was quiet now, and focused on watching me fix myself.

“Are you finally ready?” He poked at my cheek.

I nodded my head, “Do you know where this place is?”

“No,” He laughed. “but I’m sure the cab driver does.” He shrugged at me. “He’s waiting outside.”

“Great!” I exclaimed as I stood up, taking Harry’s hand in mine and pulling him to the door.

I walked down the bus steps slowly, afraid of falling like I had numerous times in the past. Harry, on the other hand, glided down the steps and ran up beside me after. He mocked me the whole way to the car, opening the door for me to enter and cheekily saying “Don’t trip.”

I slapped his arm as I stepped in, greeting the driver as Harry slammed the door behind us, trapping the cold in the back seat with us. Harry told the driver of what we were looking for, and he replied saying he knew exactly where to take us.

The snow wasn’t falling, but the sky was a light grey as the sun broke through at some points. The snow sparkled on the side of the road as the car sped by, allowing me only quick glimpses of the view. The city was loud, and very chilly even from within the car. I saw people walking in packs along the side walk, all keeping close as jackets held their bodies together in warmth. Small shops had doors tightly shut; smoke flew up from chimneys on the snow covered roofs.

I loved travelling to places like this, seeing different things outside of London. But I always wished, at beautiful times like these, that I was at home.

Harry leaned on me; his hand was covered by a black glove that sat on my leg. He was concentrated on his phone when I had looked at him, so I had decided to keep to myself as well. I shouldn’t, because I knew that Harry was leaving me tonight. I didn’t want him to go, but he had no choice and I had to be independent for once in my life.

The car ride had lasted an hour and a half; the streets were crowded with cars and horns honking. I assumed the snow fall had brought everyone to drive with extreme precaution, which bothered most residents. I watched as we pulled into an open skating rink, not too far from the city as the tall buildings were still peeking through the clouds. It wasn’t busy, which I was happy for.

Harry paid the taxi driver as he stepped out, holding out his hand to help me beside him. I still had pains throughout my body, but they weren’t as bad as they were yesterday. As I slipped out the snow crunched beneath my boot covered feet, and the door was slammed behind me. Harry explained that we were to rent skates, as we didn’t bring any of our own, which I was fine with.

“You know how to skate, right?” I asked as we went to the booth to wait for our skates.

He smirked down at me, his cheeks were pink and his lips were a deeper red as the cold air whipped between us. “I’m a bit rusty.”

“Don’t worry,” I leaned against him. “I’ll help you along.”

He seemed almost embarrassed with my statement, wanting to be the more dominant one in every situation. I enjoyed when I was more experienced that Harry, even though it didn’t happen often.

“I’ll help you.”

I scoffed, “Okay.”

He nudged me as the man came back with our skates, handing them to us and telling us where to put them on. We followed instructions and put them on, quickly wandering onto the ice. The feeling was somewhat foreign to me, not skating for so long had made me far more careful and steady once I stepped on. Harry came up beside me, taking my hand in his as we began to skate together.

I was beginning to get the hang of it, and I was actually enjoying myself. Small families skated around the middle with their children, holding their hands as they pulled them along the ice. The snow fell gently around us as Harry told me jokes, laughing at them more than I was. This was the most beautiful thing we had ever done together, by far.

“How are you such a good skater?” Harry asked in awe. “You never told me you knew how to skate.”

I laughed, looking up at him, “You never asked.”

“It’s probably because you’re from Canada, you have the skating perks.”

“Yes, of course! You’ve figured it out, good job Harold.”

“You know,” He pointed at my face. “I’m quite the skater myself.”

I pointed out how tightly he was holding my hand, to which he replied by saying he was making sure I wouldn’t fall. I released his hand, skating in front of him and turning around. Harry became immobile almost immediately after that, his legs tensed as he tried to continue at the pace I was pulling at.

“Pro skater!” I clapped as I laughed at him.

This only fueled his competitive nature more than before. Gaining some confidence, Harry skated faster than before, now going at an unexpected speed towards me. I watched with caution as he came towards me, stopping directly in front of me.

“See.” He shrugged. “No big deal.”

Before I could respond Harry grabbed my hand, pulling me as he began skating. I continued to laugh, watching as he wouldn’t stop talking about how he had just proven me wrong. We skated around the rink too many times to count, but I didn’t mind. We were accompanied by our conversations, Harry’s jokes and occasional kisses.

I wanted to be like this forever. We had gone unnoticed by the others at the rink, and for the first time in a long time, I felt normal. It was a good feeling; it was something I had been craving for the past year.

We rounded the corner again; Harry spoke to me about his tour. I knew he was trying to get me to understand how far apart we would be without saying the exact words- but I was aware of what was happening. I knew how long we would be apart, and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. Today was our last day together for a while, until I went to see him that is. I just wanted him to stay with me. I wanted to get on a plane with him and go back to England and stay home, see his parents, watch movies and sleep in our own bed. I wouldn’t have that for a long time, and it gave me something to look forward to while I was so far from my comfort.

My hand was released as were my swarming thoughts. I turned to look at Harry to find that he was no longer beside me, but behind me on the floor. I couldn’t help but laugh at him as he sat there embarrassed about his actions. His cheeks turned a shade of pink at he looked down shaking his head, a small smirk lay on his lips.

“Pro skater!” I clapped as I skated to him, lending him a hand.

He took my hand in his and I helped him up, laughing as I put my face in his chest. He groaned at my actions as he took my hand in his again.

“That didn’t happen.” He warned. “I never fell.”

I laughed, wiping the tears off my cheek. “Okay.”

*

Harry had managed to skate without falling for the hour longer that we remained on the ice. After numerous rounds of skating, and endless leg pains, Harry proposed that we go and get food before heading off to the arena.

“Maybe we can find a good place to eat.” He said as he unlaced his skates.

I looked around from my spot on the bench as I slipped on my boots. There were many buildings, but no restaurants. Harry and I went to put our skates away, asking the man at the desk if there was anywhere close we could eat. He told us that there was a McDonalds just a few blocks down, and so we began walking.

I leaned into Harry as I held his arm, nuzzling my face into his soft jacket. He kissed the top of my head before he looked around at the busy street. My hand slipped down to his, linking our fingers as I looked with him.

“I think it’s down there.” I pointed far down the street.

He squinted his eyes, “You’re right.” He nodded. “I can almost taste the grease from here.”

“My manager would never allow this.” I shook my head.

He leant down to my ear, “She doesn’t need to know.”

I laughed and agreed, skipping alone the sidewalk to get there quicker. Harry wasn’t all for my ideas of skipping down the side walk, keeping his pace choppy as I pulled him along with me. His tall stature was one I had never managed to dent, so pulling him was probably a harder task for me than for him. I tried bribing him as I pulled at his arm, begging for him to hurry up. I complained about the cold air, which wasn’t actually bothering me, but Harry saw past it all and continued on his way.

“Harry, don’t be mean.” I pouted as I stopped in front of him, wrapping my arms around him.

He continued to walk, causing me to walk backwards as cautiously as possible.

“I’m not rude.” He scoffed.

I put my face into his coat again, “Walk faster.” I whined.

“Amelia, we’re not even a minute away.”

“We could have been there already if you skipped with me.”

Harry took his hand around his back, taking hold of one of my hands and pulling it to his side. I complied, walking beside him but refusing to break my pout. He looked down at me, shaking his head before he leaned down to kiss my pouted lips.

Upon arriving I instantly felt like we made a bad choice. People inside the restaurant looked at us as we ordered our food, taking it to a corner table beside the window. Harry didn’t seem too phased, but I was slightly concerned. No one had approached us, giving us some respect.

Harry and I spoke as we ate; glancing out the window occasionally to see that nothing had changed. Our driver was to pick us up in the same spot as before, and was probably already there waiting for us. I focused back at Harry now, talking for almost an hour before he cut himself off.

“I think people found out that we’re here.” He looked behind me.

I turned to see what he was looking at, and with our luck, a group was now forming.

“Looks promising.” I sighed as I checked the time on my phone. “We have to go now anyway; I wouldn’t want to be late again.”

Harry laughed, “You’re always late.”

I shook my head at him as I stood up to empty our tray of half eaten food. I turned around to find Harry was following close behind, zipping up his jacket before putting his phone into his pocket. He came up beside me, kissing my head before holding my hand and leading me out. My hair blew onto my back as soon as we stepped out, sending a cold rush of air onto my warm cheeks.

We rounded the corner and were met by a group of fans and flashing lights. I persuaded Harry to stop and sign things, as most of the girls here came for him. He still held my hand as he did so, involving me in some photos and signings before we rushed off. The paparazzi continued to follow us, running beside and in front of us just to get a decent photo. They shouted questions even though they were already so close. Most of the questions were regarding me, asking for the reason as to why I was absent from my concert three days ago- I refused to answer.

“Do you know where we’re going?” I whispered to Harry.

He nodded his head, smirking down at me as we continued to walk. The paparazzi decided to stick around until we got to the ice rink again. Our only task now was to find the car, and then we would be granted some privacy.

I didn’t mind the paparazzi- to a certain extent. This wasn’t one of my exceptions, this was one of the times I hated having them around. I had wanted to be more and more alone the past few weeks, and having them around every corner wasn’t what I was wanting.

“It’s down there.” I pointed out, showing Harry where the driver was parked.

His breath was shown on the cold air as he exhaled, “Finally.”

Harry and I rushed over to the car, waving at the following men before we threw ourselves into the car. This was my life now, and the running and cursing was something I had to become accustomed to very quickly- or I would never make it.

*

Things only got more stressful from that point on. We were driven directly to the arena, and once I set foot inside the building I was rushed off to my dressing room. My routine had taken its course again, and my nerves set in. It had been just like the night before- forcing some sort of food into my body before having my make-up done. Harry still sat with me, encouraging me to eat as he rubbed his hand over mine.

I watched as his hand grazed over mine gently, running his fingers along the bones. His actions were always so loving, so tender. I leaned my head on the chair, now just looking at him as he concentrated on my one hand. His lips slightly parted, the plump pink halves dully shining.

He was a work of art, something of a masterpiece that any museum would kill to have. The freckle to the left of his mouth fell when he pouted his lips, lifting when he laughed. His eyes were a green that I hadn’t seen anywhere else, the brightest and softest colour.

My empty plate was placed onto the counter. Stretching my arm over gently to I wouldn’t have to part my hand from Harry’s.

“Good job.” Harry praised.

I shrugged, “Why, thank you.”

He smiled, but not for long. His lips soon fell into a small pout, causing my heart to drop. “What’s wrong?” I whispered, placing my other hand on his.

“I want to give you something.” He looked back up at me. “Because I don’t want you to feel alone.”

I nodded, keeping quiet at he removed his hand from mine. Both hands lead to the back of his neck, taking hold of his necklace and unlatching it from his neck.

“Harry, no.” I declined as I held my hands out. “I can’t, I-,”

“I want you to.” He hushed. “I want you to always have a piece of me, even if we’re only apart for a short amount of time. I want you to feel safe in a sense- I want you to feel like I’m always here, because I’m always thinking about you.”

When I didn’t respond he stood up, wrapping the necklace around my neck before leaning over to latch it on. My head rested on his chest as he did so, groaning when he couldn’t get it on the first time. I laughed lightly when he did that, finding it somewhat amusing how frustrated he got.

Once it was on I felt it slip down, stopping just above my chest. My hands went to it, holding it in between my fingers as I looked at the cross I had examined many times before. It was worn and scratched, but meant so much to Harry.

“Thank you.” I whispered, still looking down. “I’ll take care of it.”

He kissed my cheek, “I know you will.” He nudged my cheek with his nose. “Now it’s time for you to get ready.”

I nodded, smiling at him before placing a kiss to his lips. My make-up artist was called over, and I was now in the process of transformation. I could hardly believe how different I looked once she was done with me, I looked less tired. I wasn’t sure how Harry could manage the sight of me without make-up, but he often insisted that I looked more beautiful in my natural state.

My eyes were shut as she got to work, and my mind soon hurried off to thoughts like it always had. I thought about what had just happened. The simple act of love he had just done proved to me that things were actually happening quickly. Harry was in fact leaving, in the matter of an hour to be exact, and his act had shown that he was genuinely concerned about my wellbeing while he was away from me.

I adored that. He cared about me, even when he was thousands of miles away from me- and that was the most beautiful pure thing he could ever do.

Harry was sent away once everyone rushed inside to help me get dressed. It was proven to be a hard task, especially when 5 people were needed for one costume change. Everyone worked quickly around me, holding my hair and covering my face as clothes were slipped onto my body, boots pulled up my legs and gloves slipping onto each finger.

The allowed me to fix myself after all this happened, which was only a two minute process. I walked up to the mirror, fixing my hair and pushing it off onto my back. I rubbed my lips together, evening out the lipstick that was caked onto them.

I gave my manager thumbs up before she called for backstage guards to come and get me. I wanted to see Harry before I went on, but I was guaranteed to see him when I came back again for another quick change. I looked forward to that moment, and that only made me want to get onto the stage faster.

The men came into the room, hooking me up with my microphone as we walked down the hall. My ear piece made me almost deaf as it was shoved into one of my ears. The pumped me up as we entered the dark hall, ending up under the stage I was going to be performing on. I stood on the platform, holding my microphone as my backstage manager stood beside me. I wished Harry was in his place.

“You ready, Amy?”

I nodded, “Ready.”

He smiled, patting me on the back before the band was cued. He counted me down as the drums banged loud above me.

“Three, two, one.”

I was shot up onto the stage, landing solid as the crowd’s volume intensified with my presence. I need to hurry, I need to see Harry.

*

“Thank you so much!” I shouted into my microphone before running off stage.

The band continued with their music as I rushed around to my dressing room. Thankfully, it was close and I made it just in time.

“Hurry, hurry, hurry.” I ordered as everyone gathered around me.

Everyone assisted me as clothes were pulled off and replaced with new ones. The environment was hectic, but I could care less. I looked around desperately as I searched for Harry.

“Where’s Harry?” I asked in a rushed tone.

My manager pulled off one of my shoes, “Someone just went to go get him.”

I exhaled, holding my hair as another outfit was slipped on. I ran to the mirror again, looking at myself in full length. I turned, checking each side to make sure everything was on properly.

Where is Harry.

I paced the floor as everyone cleaned up, my heels clicking on the tile as I did so. I pulled at the sleeves of my shirt to keep myself occupied before I got frustrated and took to the door. As soon as I pulled it open, an out of breath Harry was there to greet me.

“Amy-,”

I pressed a hard kiss to his lips before he could continue, holding his jaw as I did so. His hands came to my ribs, gently holding me before I pulled away.

“Amy, I have to go.” He wasted no time.

I was taken aback, “Now? But you aren’t supposed to leave until my show is over. I-I was-,”

“I know, baby. But they need me to leave now; they already got me a flight.” He held my hand. “I tried, baby. I really did.”

I was so confused with the straight forward news I had just gotten. I didn’t want him to leave me, although I saw it all coming it crashed into me harder than I had ever expected. My hopes were so high, and were now so low that my emotions were everywhere. Starting with my eyes.

They piled up tears, blinking them away as I turned from Harry.

“Amy, I know.” He hushed; his voice was no longer rushing his words. “Come here, I know.”

He held me in his arms as I quivered in sadness, releasing my emotions onto his sweater. His hand rubbed my back, calming me the slightest bit, but calming me enough to face him again.

He wiped my tears, kissing my forehead once he finished.

“Don’t cry, my love.” He shook his head. “You’re breaking my heart.”

“I’m sorry.” I said, shaking my head as my gaze went down.

He lifted his arm up, looking at the watch on his wrist. “I have to go.” He whispered, letting me down gently.

I didn’t trust my voice, so I only nodded. It was unbearable to look at him; I knew it would instantly start crying even more. He didn’t take my silent excuses as he took his hands to my face, tilting it up to look at him again.

“Remember what I said.” He nodded at me. “Right here.” His hand picked up the silver chain, holding it high enough to meet my gaze.

“Right there.” I repeated.

His lips crashed into mine once I showed that I understood. It was a desperate, needy kiss. I was in my most vulnerable stage at this point, and with him staying with me for three days in my time of need, I longed for more contact.

He pulled away and I pulled him in again, kissing him harder for the last time. His lips were something I was going to miss the most out of all of him. And I just needed to feel this once more to keep me at ease.

“I love you.” I promised. “Please be safe, Harry.”

“I will, love.” He nodded, holding my hair in his hand. “Take care of yourself, please.”

I nodded, “I will.” I whispered.

He gathered me in his arms one last time before guards came and told me I had to get back on stage.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land.” He said. “I love you.”

Harry pecked my lips again, releasing his hand from mine as he hurried off down the hall. I was broken now, feeling the absence as he waved at me. I waved back, still crying as he shouted a final “I love you!” I shouted it back, promising him that one thing.

I patted my eyes as I saw him turn down the hall, now out of my sight for God knows how long.

But I knew that it takes having something taken away, to know how much you truly need it. I still had him, hanging off the silver chain on my neck. He was here, he was right here.