"Where exactly did you come from, Jo?" Sarutobi asked all confused and shit. Old people are adorable. They're like giant wrinkley babies with Arthur right this. ←lol
"Obviously not from around here." I answered with an unnecessary and probably unwanted amount of sass.

"Yes but where?" He pushed.

"From my momma's vagina."
He sighed in exasperation.

"And where did your mother live?"

"Next to my neighbors."

"Where did your neighbors live?"

"In our neighborhood?"

"Where was your neighborhood?"

"You'll never believe me if I told you..." I smirked.

"Where?"

"Where I lived."

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst out laughing. He looks so pissed right now. Yea that's probably a bad thing for me, I'm still bound to a metal chair. 
"Okay okay geez, I lived in Santa Cruz." I confessed after another stern look from him. You know, that look you get from your evil old grandma that you know you don't ever wanna disobey.
"I've never heard of such a place." He had a thoughtful look on his face. Dude, and I've never heard of your freaking Kognahaha or whatever the fuuuudge it's called.
"Yea, it's probably on another planet... Y'know, cuz I appeared here falling out of the sky. And I dress differently to all you weird fux." They all shot me those nasty glares again. Lol they lurve me.
"You don't act at all like I thought an alien species would."

"Neither do you, human."
Dude! This is like a dream come true.
"I see. Well, until you can get in touch with your home planet, we will offer you a home here. However, you must allow us to observe your mind once a week, as security, and you must attend the academy so that you can learn about our ways and become of some use to us. Do you have chakra?"
I shrugged.
"Focus your spiritual energy onto this." He handed me a piece of paper.
I closed my eyes, taking him seriously for once and doing as he said. It melted. The paper fucking melted. Like there is literally an off white puddle of melted paper on the ground.
"How odd."
"Sooo. Housing, where the fuck am I gonna stay, who's buying me the shit I need, and who the fuck is enrolling me in school?"

"I have things to do, please don't choose me... Bye."
Anti gravity hair man waved, beginning to walk out.
"CASH ME OUSSIDE BOI! HOW BOW DAH!" I yelled, hopping over to him in my chair as fast as I could... which really wasn't that fast.
"Kakashi, thankyou for volunteering." The oldn' smiled with fake cheerfulness and a whole lotta sass in dat old ass. Empire state building hair man, now known as Kakashi, sighed, before picking me up, chair and all, and proofing away. I wanna do that. That poofy poof poof sparkle magic shit. I wanna do it.

We appeared in an apartment. It was nice as shit too! Like nicer than Satan's cakey ass.
"Nice place bro."
He dropped me. At least I didn't land on my face this time, I landed ony feet so I was able to balance myself into the proper position.
Aaaand he walked off.
"DON'T TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS OFF! GET BACK HERE YOU CACTUS DILDO!"
All I heard was another loud sigh. Fucken asshole.