"You are very pretty! Please be my girlfriend."
It's too fucking early for this shit. I woke up, ate a cucumber, brushed my teeth, skipped mah shower, and left the house. The day started off as normal, except that I never wake up before eleven... But here I am, up at eight... Going grocery shopping and being responsible. Oh no.... I'm doing the adult... I'm becoming..... Mature....
And then there was this bowl haired fuck with giant eyebrows and circular eyes with literally three eyelashes at the bottom corner of each perfectly rounded eye. He was wearing a green spandex suit and orange leg and arm warmers. He looked like the crack baby of Jeffry Dauhmer and that yoga guy on those stupid shows that are always trying to make you do hip exercises that look an awful lot like humping air.
"On my home planet, hazel eyes and brown blonde hair is the norm. And on my home planet, we say no to strangers who look like they'd have a raping threesome with you, themselves, and a puppet."
I snorted, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me like a dumbass.
"But your hair is not brown, nor are your eyes hazel... Your hair consists of varying shades of orange. . . Like fire almost . . . And your eyes are many colors... You have a small ash grey pupil with orange around it. The orange color fades into a darker orange which becomes red then black...." He replied equally as confused as me. It was now my turn to stare like a fucken idiot. I tugged a strand of hair out, not bothering to wince at the pain as I stared at the flame colored strand.
"What the fuck? This shit was brown yesterday...." I mumbled, walking off and completely ignoring the strange crack baby boy. I had much bigger problems to deal with... Like my fucking hair turning orange. Been eating too many carrots. You are what you eat. OH NO! I'm turning into a carrot! I ran home, slamming my door open and not bothering to close it. I stared like a high puffer fish at my reflection. My skin is fucking tan... Like what the fuck. I'm a shut in neet, why the hell is my skin so tan. And my hair looks like fucking fire. Oh my shits.