I'm at the base of a set of stairs, holding a small bouquet that Jane handed me a few minutes ago, and listening to the opening strains of the processional song that I asked the crew to play from the stereo system. The ethereal sound of Landon Pigg's "If I'm Saying Nothing" emanates from the sundeck above my head.

It's my cue to move, but goosebumps ripple across my entire body as a mild terror takes hold, freezing me in place.

The yacht is swaying, my legs feel shaky, my hands are sweating, and I'm a little bit buzzed from the champagne I had on my empty stomach.

Frankly, I'm afraid I'm going to trip and kill myself on the way up.

Talk about a metaphor for my life.

So I stand there for the moment to just listen to the words of the song. They buoy me, and soon I feel like I'm floating along with them.

Suddenly, I'm at the top of stairs on the sundeck, turning towards where Fin awaits me.

In his midnight tuxedo he cuts an absolutely striking figure against the sky, which is flooded by a rainbow hued sunset. Fin looks as solid and sure as the dark buildings of the Manhattan skyline in the distance.

My God he is so gorgeous!

He smiles at me, with his slightly crooked incisors, and he puts his hand over his heart and mouths, "Stunning!"

I can't help but smile back.

When I get closer, I hand Jane my flowers and Fin takes my hands in his.

I look into his eyes. They are the color of a wooden ship's wheel, well-polished and gleaming darkly in the dusky paper lantern light that surrounds us.

These are the eyes that will help steer my course towards our still uncharted future. I study his face, trying to memorize that smile and these eyes, wanting to always call into mind this exact way he's looking at me.

Then I realize that his eyes are so glossy because they're actually as misty as the ocean spray that is kicking up against the sides of the boat as we cruise along.

My own eyes begin to well-up now too, and I bite my lip to try to avoid the waterworks. But the more I try to fight it, the harder my chin quakes.

When the song begins repeating "Love is forever, say it again..." some tears finally escape and slide down my cheeks.

Fin let's go of a hand, reaches over and gently wipes one away with his thumb, but another immediately follows.

He pulls me into an embrace and kisses it from my cheek. "It's okay, love."

More gentle kisses rain onto my cheeks. "Really, Millie, it's fine if you don't want to do this tonight."

I shake my head and try to compose myself enough to say something, but I can't get anything more than a sniffle out.

Fin continues to speak. "If this is all too much we can stop. We can just date and take our time. Whatever amount of work it takes, we'll get back to this. I know it. You're worth waiting for."

He turns toward the Captain. "It looks like we won't need..."

Before he can finish his sentence, I grab the shawl collar of his tux and press my lips to his, sharing the salty taste of tears and sea. Fin's arms twine around me and I feel him exhale. All the tension in my body melts away and within an instant we are kissing each other like we don't have an audience.

The distinctive sound of Paul clearing his throat reminds us that we do, so we pull apart, and look around.

His brother is red-faced, and I can't tell if he's angry or just embarrassed by our public display of affection. Jane is beaming, and taking pictures, or maybe even video, with my phone.

The Captain grins. "As officiant, it's my duty to inform you that the kissing part is supposed to come at the end of the wedding."

Fin chuckles. "I'm afraid my fiancé and I have an unorthodox approach to weddings." He pulls a pristine handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to me.

I take it and blot at my face. Thankfully the makeup Jane put on me seems to be super-strength. Nothing comes off onto the crisp linen. Not even a trace of the matte lipstick is on Fin's mouth.

I turn towards Jane with raised eyebrows and she gives me a thumbs up to let me know my face doesn't look like a train wreck.

Then I look back at the Captain. "I'm sorry. That was entirely my fault. Please begin the ceremony."

Fin leans into my ear and whispers, "You're sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely." I tuck the handkerchief back into his pocket. "Let's do this." I take his hands in mine again.

The Captain raises his voice as though he is speaking to a larger crowd than four people. "We are gathered here tonight, on this exquisite summer evening, to join Millie and Fin in matrimony. I've always been of the opinion that a boat is the best place hold a wedding, because a ship is very much like a marriage. I love to sail, but it takes much more than simply love and a vessel's design to keep one afloat. It requires time to learn the necessary skills, and hours of practice to hone them. There's a lot of hard work needed, and tough choices to make. And so too, does a marriage need a lot more than simply love to keep it sailing smoothly."

There the Captain pauses. Fin squeezes my hand and we both nod at the man, and so he continues.

"The Captain and the Chief Mate are the two most important people on any vessel; they are in charge of making sure everything keeps cruising happily along. You are each the Captain of your own soul. You are not here to lose that autonomy or authority over yourself tonight. The person standing beside you now, is here to become your Chief Mate for life. You are both gaining your strongest ally and partner tonight. Together you will chart your course, navigate life's waters, and weather many storms. If your ship, or your marriage, is ever in distress, you must both do your very best to save it. You must always remember that a Captain should never abandon their ship, and so you should never leave your Chief Mate to struggle alone on a sinking vessel."

Another pause. Another squeeze of hands. Another set of nods.

"So now that I've given you the sage wisdom of a seafarer, we've arrived at the declaration of intent portion of our ceremony. Although I generally encourage a 'women and children first' philosophy, traditionally during wedding ceremonies, the Groom goes first. So Finian, I'm asking you - Do you choose to marry Amelia and to speak the words tonight that will join you with her as your mate for the rest of the days of your life?"

Fin looks away from me towards the Captain. "I do."

The Captain continues, "Have you come here of your own free will to take her as your equal partner, so that you may live together and share in all that life has to offer?"

Fin turns to me with a soft smile. "I have."

He doesn't look away as the Captain asks, "Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her all the days of your life?"

His thumbs stroke gently across the tops of my hands. "I will."

Then I'm given the same three questions and I'm answering - I do. I have. I will.

"Perhaps you two, the writer and the actor, know better than most, that there is power in the spoken word. Now that you have both publicly affirmed and acknowledged in words your purpose for for coming together tonight, we come to some even more powerful words - the vows. Finian has chosen to memorize some traditional Celtic wedding vows, and I ask him to speak them to Amelia now."

Fin turns to me. I notice a slight sheen of sweat across his forehead. Despite the breeze off the water, it's still too warm out. His tux is a lightweight wool and silk, but I long to encourage him to make himself more comfortable, to take off his jacket and undo his bow tie. But I know that soon enough I'll get him to undress, so I look back to his eyes with a smile.

He clears his throat and begins.

"Amelia Cara Stevens - My Diligent Heart...

You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company."

Fin's elegant accent envelops me, and makes my heart pump faster in my chest. A flush races from there, up my bare neck towards my face. I notice his eyes trail along the line of heat. He must know what he's doing to me, because he licks his lips before he continues.

"In the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, I take you to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire you and be desired by you, to possess you and be possessed by you without sin or shame, for none can exist in the purity of my love for you."

Fin steps closer and his cologne fills my senses. The hints of zesty Sicilian lemon, sweet Tuscan Acacia honey, and the brine of Calabrese olives, inspire fantasies of an Italian vacation. Thoughts flash through my mind of all we might enjoy together in the future - lazy mornings lounging in bed, afternoons exploring places, feasts of fine food, and evenings sharing some wine before falling into bed and making love all night long.

I want to kiss him so badly right now, but bide my time with moistening my lips.

He pauses for a moment and puts my hands against his heart as he says the rest of his vows.

"Millie, I promise to love you wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change you in any way. I shall respect you, your beliefs, your people, and your ways as I respect myself.

You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give you my body, that we two might be one. I give you my spirit, till our life shall be done."

My heart is beating in time with Fin's and tears glisten in both of our eyes again.

"Wonderful!" The Captain literally applauds, and then nods toward me. "Your Bride has chosen to write original vows for you Finian, which she will read now."

I'm not sure that what I've written can stand up to the beautifully poetic and sentimental monologue Fin just uttered, but there's no turning back now. I've written the truth from deep within my heart, and this is the only gift that I have for him. If he's the man I believe him to be, this should be enough.

Jane steps forward to give me my paper. I let go of Fin's hands to take it. The page shudders with my nerves as I unfold it. I grip it tighter, willing it to still just as the breeze picks up making it even harder to do so. Hoping it doesn't blow away, I swallow, before I start to read aloud.

"Fin...

For as long as I can remember I've been telling stories about other people. And when my mind wandered as a child, my daydreams always brought me to far away settings. So you see, I've spent my whole life fantasizing about being somebody else, someplace else."

My voice is quivering and too low. I glance up from my paper to see Fin listening intently with his hands folded earnestly in front of him. I raise my voice a bit more so he can hear me over the wind and the waves.

"Stories are perfect to me, even when they're about imperfect people, because they're complete - they have a beginning, a middle, and an end. That's probably the reason I was drawn to Beckett and his circular plots - 'the end is in the beginning and yet you go on.' There's something so comforting about that idea to me, about having things contained, and knowing how they'll turn out. The unknown generally terrifies me."

I peek up to see Fin frowning and nodding sympathetically, but when I venture a tiny smile at him, he smiles back. My eyes return to the paper to find my spot.

"When I write that down, it seems ridiculous that I'd be standing here in front of you tonight, vowing to spend the rest of my life with you, when I've only known you for a few weeks."

I hear Fin's soft chuckle, so I press on.

"Yet, even though there's still so much we don't know about each other, and we can't promise each other perfection, I'm not afraid anymore because you helped me realize that I don't need that anymore."

This time when I look up, I put the paper down to my side. Everything I've written floods back to my brain and I don't need to refer to the script anymore.

"You are wonderful to me Fin, because you are real. And you're the first real dream I've ever had. I always thought I had dreams for myself before now, like becoming a screenwriter. But I know that what I really had were goals, because there was always some marker in the sand attached to those things, and whenever I compared myself against it, I felt like I didn't measure up. But when I'm with you, you make me feel like I'm good enough by just being me. And when we're together I don't want to imagine anything else other than being me and being there in that moment, with you."

I step closer to him and take his hand again.

"In you, I've found my counterpart. You've built your life around playing other people, and I've built mine around writing them. But tonight we start improvising our life together, and so I promise that I'll follow the basic rules of improv."

He raises his eyebrows at me. My smile becomes broader and my voice more assured.

"I will say 'Yes and' - I'll always try to keep positivity in our life together and work to build upon whatever we start together.

I will 'Make statements' - I'll always do my very best to communicate my feelings and my needs clearly, and not barrage you with endless questions.

I will remember 'There are no mistakes' - Even when things are hard or when things go wrong, there's still opportunity in those challenges. So I will always strive to learn and grow from any struggles we encounter, and use them to improve our marriage."

I place my vows into his hands now.

"You are my beginning and my ending Finian Oisin Covington. The ring that I will give to you in a few minutes, is the perfect representation of our circular connection, because together we are irrational and infinite.

I love that and I love you!"

Fin takes my vows, folds them smaller, and kisses them before tucking the paper into his breast pocket, beside his heart. "Thank you Millie. I will cherish these words above all others, forever."

Jane applauds for me, I glance over my shoulder to see that she's wiping her eyes.

The Captain interjects. "Wonderful! Now as Millie just mentioned, we have arrived at the exchanging of rings."

Reaching his hands out, to both Paul and Jane, they pass over the individual rings that they were in charge of.

"Circles are beautiful." He holds them up, between thumb and forefinger, one in each hand. "Mathematically speaking, they are indeed both irrational and infinite."

He winks at me. Then he clutches them into his fists.

"And of course at a wedding they are used to symbolize a union without ending. But I personally find them to be even more meaningful than that, because circles happen to be very important to surviving life at sea."

He gestures toward the water around us.

"The movement of the tides are swayed by those giant circles overhead, the sun and moon, and our circular orbits around them."

His face points up towards the swiftly darkening sky first, then his index fingers follow. He twirls them in circles in the air for a second, before looking back down and pointing them at the boards beneath his feet.

"And on a ship such as this, we steer with the helm, which is a circle. When our modern tools fail us, a good sailor must know how to use a circular compass, great-circle navigation, and the circle of equal latitude to chart a course and find their way home. Even the portholes in our hull are circular because they offer greater structural integrity and can withstand extreme external pressure better than than any other shape can."

Finally he holds out his palms, with our bands cradled in the center of each.

"May these rings always help you to find your rhythm, your strength, and the course by which you can always steer yourself home to each other."

Fin and I reach out to take the jewelry, and I hold out my left hand toward him.

The Captain instructs, "Fin, as you place the ring on Millie, repeat after me..."

It's now that I realize that Fin has two platinum circles that he is sliding onto my finger. A delicate, diamond infinity ring, and an enormous cushion-cut diamond engagement solitaire, which is set on a diamond band that matches the wedding ring.

His eyes shimmer more than the brilliant stones, as he echoes the hushed words the Captain feeds to him.

"I, Finian Oisin Covington, offer this ring to you Amelia Cara Stevens, as a symbol of my abiding love, my eternal faith, my everlasting friendship, and my undying devotion. With this ring, I marry you, binding my life with yours, and with my loving heart, my willing body, and my immortal soul, promise you all of my tomorrows. Please wear it is an outward reminder of our inner unity, and so that my word and my love will always be with you, forever close to your heart."

Then I slowly ease the Celtic love-knot engraved gold and platinum band I selected for him, up his finger.

"I, Amelia Cara Stevens, offer this ring to you Finian Oisin Covington..."

It catches on his knuckle. I giggle nervously thinking that I might have gotten the wrong size, but I used his Grandfather's claddagh, so it has to fit.  Fin reaches over with his right hand, and together we wiggle it over the bony impediment, just as I finish speaking.

"...so that my word and my love will always be with you, forever close to your heart."

Then the Captain says, "By the power vested in me, by God and man, I pronounce you husband and wife."

Fin and I lean towards each other, but pause to look at the Captain with raised eyebrows.

He guffaws. "Ah yes! Now you may kiss!"

Fin sweeps me into his arms, dips me over backwards, and kisses me. My arms loop around his neck, as my heart and stomach flip inside of me.

I can never imagine how any kiss Fin gives me will be better than the last, and yet he always seems to top himself.

This one, our first as husband and wife, is definitely my new favorite.

I never want it to end.