I try not to watch Shizuku in class, or at least not be obvious about it, but the more I resist, the stronger the curiosity becomes. Occasionally, other girls approach her during the class breaks and she chats with them normally. Kurosawa, of course, buzzes around her like a hungry gnat. She's just as pleasant to him, but I notice she never initiates these conversations. When no one approaches, she just sits at her desk like a machine that has been switched off. It's not like she's staring into space lost in thought. It's as if she's only fully present when other people are around.

Weeks go by. About a month after they start dating, Kurosawa comes over to my desk at the end of class and interrupts my conversation with Watanabe. "Ametsuchi, can I talk to you in private?"

Guilt flashes within me and I wonder if he has noticed me looking at Shizuku. I'm hoping this isn't going to turn into a confrontation.

"Kokuhaku?" Watanabe asks with a wry grin, implying that Kurosawa wants to confess his love to me.

Kurosawa's mouth curls into a sneer. He starts to snap out a reply before pausing to give Watanabe a quick evaluating look up and down. Watanabe is, after all, about the same weight as the two of us combined and easily twice as strong as either of us. Kurosawa sneers. "It's boyfriend stuff. You wouldn't understand."

Watanabe gives him a conciliatory nod. "I guess not. I've never had a girlfriend. All I have is a fiancé."

I nearly choke. If I had been drinking anything, I probably would have drowned. "What?"

Kurosawa looks offended as if Watanabe were insulting him with an obvious lie. "Fiancé? What are you talking about?"

Watanabe gives him a dismissive wave. "It's a family thing. Some sort of arrangement between our fathers. It probably won't happen, though she is kind of cute and she seems to like me for some reason." He gives us an embarrassed smile and a shrug. "At least I've got options."

Kurosawa gives me a bewildered look.

"Do you have time right now?" I ask, curiosity having overtaken both guilt and annoyance. Why would Kurosawa ask me—of all people—anything?

"Yeah."

"Kyoko-chan is going to clubs. Let's take a walk." We gather our things and head outside, passing the yankis that seem to enjoy hanging out near the stairs harassing girls and anyone else who might provide easy entertainment. They talk loudly about us, but we ignore them.

"Hey! There's that guy that thought he was so cool."

"Who?"

"The one dating Toilet Water Girl."

"Looks like he's walking another guy home."

"At least his love life is improving, har har!."

Without looking back, we keep walking, heading straight for a 7-Eleven konbini. Neither of us speaks until we make it to the parking lot. "So, how come you're not walking Shizuku-san home?" I ask.

"Tama-chan won't tell me where she lives."

I give him a sideways glance, surprised by his use of her first name. Even though they are dating, I didn't think they were that close. She certainly doesn't call him by his first name. Perhaps he's trying to impress me by acting like they are closer than they are. "What did you want to ask me?"

Kurosawa doesn't respond right away. His forehead wrinkles as he tries to decide how to phrase his response. We walk through the store's sliding doors.

"How many times have you and Fukukui-san gone out?"

"Like on a proper date?"

"Yes."

"A few times, I guess. We see each other at our houses a lot though, since our parents are friends."

"Friends? Really? You're lucky."

I can't resist baiting him. "Why? What are her parent's like?"

Kurosawa walks over to a wire rack and grabs a snack bag. "Don't know. She won't tell me anything about her family. I suspect she doesn't have one."

"So was that it? What you wanted to ask me?"

"No..." More silence follows. He goes to the back of the store to get a drink, opening the glass door and selecting one. "What would you think if Fukukui didn't seem very interested in going out with you? What if she went out with you one time, spent the whole date looking at you and not saying much, like she was just watching a TV show?"

"Shizuku-san?"

Kurosawa turns his back to me, walks over to the magazine rack, nodding.

"I don't know. If it were Kyoko-chan, I might think she didn't really want to be with me."

Kurosawa's back tenses as if I had hit him.

"But this is Shizuku-san we're talking about. She's different," I offer.

"How?"

"Well, Shimura-san has a theory about it. She thinks that Shizuku-san has been hurt by someone in the past and has sealed away her emotions. She probably doesn't even know how to show them."

"So you're saying you don't think she has feelings for me?"

"No. I'm not saying that. I don't think she would have agreed to date you if that were the case. But she is probably confused and doesn't know how to sort her feelings out." I have no idea why I'm trying to reassure him. I don't even know why he chose to ask me.

"I was thinking of breaking up with her."

My own confused feelings ricochet through me. The thought of the two of them breaking up makes me happy, but the thought of Shizuku only then discovering she'd held feelings for him and—in her grief—deciding that love couldn't possibly be real, sends cold fingernails of terror scratching down my back. "Don't do that!" I blurt out.

He sends a questioning look over his shoulder.

"At least not until she tells you she wants to break up with you. Just be patient and give her time to figure things out."

Kurosawa stares out of the window. "Have you and Fukukui-san kissed?"

"Um... yes." I feel a little guilty talking about such a private matter. A lot of girls already know, so it's not like I'm bragging though not many high school boys can say that.

"Have you done...other stuff?"

"What? No!" My face burns. I know lots of high school kids think sex is just a normal part of dating, but I don't feel like that is something I could do with just anyone. Even though I am now dating the girl of my dreams, that is a level of commitment I'm not ready to make. I mean, what if we were to do that, and then she decided she'd rather date someone else? I don't think of her as the fickle type of girl, but still, I think I'd die if something like that happened. "We're not ready for that type of thing!"

"Hmmm." Kurosawa snorts. It sounds derisive, as if I were somehow failing as a boyfriend.

But what does Kyoko want? Is she waiting for me to do something? She does have strong ideas about the proper way things should be done. That's one of the reasons I was so surprised when she kissed me, especially after our date had failed to live up to her expectations. Had she been waiting for me to kiss her? Is she impatient for something else?

"...somehow, it doesn't feel like I think dating should feel." Kurosawa continues, pulling me out of my spiral of self-doubt. "That's why I was thinking I should just break up with her."

"But you're not going to break up with her now are you?"

"I don't know..."

"Look, every couple is different. You just have to find the way that works for you both. Dating Kyoko-chan isn't going quite how I had imagined either."

Kurosawa raises a questioning eyebrow. "Oh? What do you mean?"

"Well, it takes a lot more work than I thought." I pause, trying to gather my thoughts, wondering if it is wise to continue. "And...well...Kyoko-chan doesn't seem to notice it. Still, she's so focused on her goals I don't know if she sees anything else. That's why she's always been one of the top students in our grade. Still, no matter the situation, she always knows exactly what needs to be done. You won't find anyone better prepared for, well, anything..."

My words trail off. I'm not doing very well. I had been trying to reassure Kurosawa that relationships aren't always easy, now for some reason, I feel like I'm defending Kyoko from some implied accusation. "But I think she's worth the effort," I finish lamely.

Kurosawa stares down at his shoes. "Yeah. I guess Tama-chan is worth the effort too." He looks up and gives me a lop-sided grin. "She is amazingly beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yeah. Can't argue with you there."