Dina sat at the breakfast table, looking so apathetic and emotionless that if she had seen herself, she would have been frightened. Gaelin was to her right, Feléna to her left. She glanced at them from the corner of her eye. She was struggling to get down the toast, or rather just the first bite of it, which she had been battling with for some time. She had no desire to eat. She chewed slowly, then, after swallowing, carefully considered whether to take another bite. The recent events had turned her stomach.

She glanced furtively at Gaelin. Did she know what was going on in Feléna's class? She convinced herself that she did. Gaelin knew exactly what was happening.

"Do you both...," she began hoarsely, "do you kill the unfit ones in both your teams?"

The question created an odd atmosphere. It was clear from the looks on these women that they were not accustomed to discussing such matters over meals. Although Feléna, with her usual light-heartedness, continued eating without looking up. That was typical of her, Dina thought. She murdered young girls, then carried on with life as if nothing had happened. Perhaps she thought now, too, that she wouldn't discuss the Veilers' methods with a newly recruited student.

Gaelin poured herself some tea as she replied, the gentle trickling of the liquid introducing her words.

"Hmm, are you already considering joining my side?" she joked.

Feléna shot her a short, but severe, glance. She clearly didn't find it amusing.

"Of course, I know that would be against the rules," Gaelin added to reassure her. "As for your question, no. In my team, we do a different sort of work, it doesn't require secrecy. If a girl is known to have trained with us, boys won't dare lay a hand on her, haha!"

The comment was apt. Dina understood that Gaelin meant they wouldn't touch her in any unwanted situation, though she couldn't shake the thought that those aggressive, masculine, foul-mouthed girls wouldn't be approached for other reasons either. Gaelin had done a perfect job in that regard.

For a while, there was silence. Feléna leaned back, gazing dreamily at the sunlight streaming through the window, as if composing a poem in her mind. The late summer scent of fresh morning air wafted in, completing the idyllic scene. Yet Dina could not feel it. She would have painted everything in black, sitting silently and quietly.

"I'll fetch the meat; I think it's done," Gaelin said, standing up. She soon returned, accompanied by spicy aromas that would have made anyone else take a deep breath, but Dina's stomach churned. Her insides quivered as the strong, greasy smell hit her nose, somehow, who knows why, bringing back the peculiar, sour smell she had sensed during the girls' funeral the day before. It had been warm, and though the bodies were still intact, Dina seemed to sense the rot of death upon them. Yesterday, it hadn't occurred to her, probably because she wouldn't have been able to carry on if it had. Now, though, everything resurfaced, the impulses overwhelmed her mind, and...

She pushed the chair back hastily, the legs clattering on the floor. She covered her mouth with a napkin, bolted outside, running into the garden. She aimed for the farthest corner but had to stop halfway by the fence as her stomach heaved, purging itself without compromise.

Once she could breathe again, she gathered her falling hair and tried taking deep breaths, over and over, to suppress the unpleasant feeling. But it overpowered her body once more, and she expelled the remaining tea she had barely managed to keep down.

Inside, at the table, Feléna merely noted what was happening, then easily turned back towards the sunlit window. Gaelin, however, was heavy with a furrowed brow, following the girl with her gaze.

"What the hell is wrong with her?"

There was no response. Feléna let out a reluctant sigh. Gaelin's face grew increasingly angered.

"What the...? Is she... Is she pregnant?"

"I have no idea. But dealing with the unfit takes a lot out of me. I'm sick of it. So I really hope not."

Gaelin, who seemed to have made up her mind about the truth, muttered Zevran's name with vengeful malice, then threw her fork onto the plate, sending it clattering, and rushed after Dina.

Dina was just standing up, hearing the approaching footsteps but not turning around.

"Are you alright?" The question was more accusatory than concerned. "What's the meaning of this?"

Dina took a deep breath. "Nothing unusual... I'm fine..."

"Nothing unusual? You come from a brothel, and you're having morning sickness?! Do you take me for a fool?"

No answer came, as Dina's mouth was busy with other involuntary tasks. She, too, felt how embarrassing this was and tried her best to get through the moment when her body would finally resist the urge.

But Gaelin was just getting started. "Alright! This is just great! And do you have any idea whose child it could be? Not that it matters, because it doesn't, but I swear, if it's Zevran's..."

As Gaelin uttered the man's name, Dina clenched her fists.

"Leave Zevran out of this!"

"...if you're carrying his filthy little brat, I swear I will...!"

Dina suddenly straightened up, wiping her mouth in a flash, and turned to face the woman directly, her eyes shining with tears and fury.

"Be quiet, Gaelin! Enough! Enough of you digging into my past! Don't mention Zevran, nor me in connection with him; what happened between us is our business alone!"

She couldn't even speak. Gaelin just stared at Dina, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, while her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"And as for why my stomach turned, maybe you should ask your friend!" Dina snapped, sidestepping Gaelin, then hurried off, breathing heavily, and ran across the hall, past an unmoved Feléna, and up to her room.

Downstairs, Gaelin reached the table, fuming and pacing as if unsure whether to sit back down. She grabbed a napkin and slapped it against her palm like a whip.

"And what the hell are we supposed to do now?" she muttered as she paced around her chair. "She neither denied nor confirmed my suspicion! What should we to do with her? How's she supposed to work with you now?"

Feléna merely moved her lips. "Don't worry. She'll come with me just the same. There's no way I'd keep her here; it would require supervision—just more work for us. If her belly starts showing, I'll take care of it. If not, all the better." And with that, Feléna left the room.

Gaelin continued pacing around the table for a while, then glanced up toward the stairs and hurried into the kitchen. She pulled out dried herbs from a cylindrical metal tin, prepared some tea, and with the steaming cup in hand, climbed the stairs.

A cautious knock echoed on Dina's door.

"It's Gaelin. Please, let's talk." Her voice was now much calmer, filtering through the crack near the handle.

But Dina didn't reply. She lay on her bed, face down, as she had flung herself, her chin nestled into a pillow.

The door slowly opened. Gaelin approached quietly, balancing either to steady herself or due to the tea, or perhaps both. She placed the white cup on the bedside table and sat on the edge of Dina's bed.

The girl knew she was being observed and that Gaelin was searching for words.

Finally, Gaelin cleared her throat.

"Look... I don't want to hurt you. But... the very last thing I needed in my life is Zevran's child." Gaelin might have been aiming for tenderness, but her voice trembled with anger as emotions surfaced once again. "I didn't bring you here for this!"

"I know, you've told me many times; you would've loved to train me into an excellent swordswoman, but it seems I'm too feminine to be a brutish beast, and you regret that very much, yes, I know!" Dina muttered into the pillow.

Gaelin's face darkened. "You're ungrateful," she remarked bitterly.

Dina didn't answer for a while; deep down, she felt that Gaelin was right. Since Gaelin was the one she could talk to, the one she could be honest with, it was she who bore the brunt of her anguish. When this thought reached her, she turned towards Gaelin, head bowed.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. Her voice didn't yet carry complete remorse, but at least the word was out of her mouth.

They sat in silence for a while, Gaelin studying the girl's face quietly. Then she sighed. "Let's leave this. Let's talk about... practical matters. We have a problem to solve."

Dina leaned against the wall, tilting her head to the side.

"No need, Gaelin," she said quietly. "There's no problem, no child, nothing."

The woman grumbled softly. "Eh... maybe you're too young to understand the signs, and..."

"I know the signs, Gaelin. In the village where I lived, I saw many pregnant women. I know what happens in such cases."

"Then...!"

"I am not, and I can't be."

Gaelin's face was a mix of disbelief and anger, but it was clear she was holding herself back this time; even her voice remained calm. "Listen, I know full well that Zevran is not the sort to..."

Dina looked into her eyes in surprise as the woman suddenly halted mid-sentence. But the girl couldn't decide whether Gaelin simply couldn't find the words, or if she had realized she'd accidentally let something slip.

"I didn't want to spend time in the brothel. Zevran was indeed my client, but when we met, at the very first chance, I asked if I could sleep in his bed, and he allowed it. It happened several times, but that's all."

Gaelin shook her head, nearly laughing. "Are you seriously trying to convince me that Zevran tied his foolish cock in a knot for your pretty eyes?"

Dina shrugged. "I wouldn't quite put it that way, but yes. That's what happened."

Gaelin simply frowned in silence. Then she drew back, scrutinizing Dina for a long moment. "I'm wondering if you're such a good actress that you can even make me doubt, or if you're just incredibly naive."

Dina lowered her head. "There's nothing for you to worry about. Zevran didn't take advantage of any opportunity, not a single one. I'm not saying he didn't try," Dina smiled at the memory, "on the contrary, he tried throughout. But he respected me and didn't do anything I didn't want."

"Hm. And how long did he manage to restrain himself?"

"I stayed with him for a week."

The woman murmured. "A week...! Unbelievable! I suppose he got bored towards the end and tossed you out. Typical!"

"No. In the end..." Dina recalled the kiss and the fact that they were actually closest in the last days, in every sense. "...in the end, we were attacked. And he protected me. Gaelin, Zevran helped me all along. He paid for me, quite a lot actually, and nearly got into trouble for it, just so I could use his room as a refuge. Then he took time for me, and he listened. I met a young acquaintance of his, got to know his friends. He took me to a barracks to practice. He gave me a weapon."

At the last word, one of Gaelin's eyebrows shot up. "What kind of weapon?"

"A dagger."

"And where is it now?"

Dina swallowed before the lie. "In my pimp's back... I left it there." She hoped Gaelin would interpret the slight tremor in her voice as a reaction to the fact that she was talking about killing a human creature, which she had done. Meanwhile, the dagger lay hidden under Dina's pillow, barely an arm's length away.

Gaelin eventually stood up and went to the window. She stared out quietly for a while, strange emotions playing across her face, as if her mind were searching for the place of puzzle pieces that had suddenly been scrambled. Finally, she extended the cup to the girl.

"Drink this. It's parsley tea, causes uterine contractions. If you're telling the truth, you'll be fine, if not, it'll take effect in your body immediately."

Dina didn't hesitate. The tea had cooled a bit, so she took a large sip while keeping her gaze fixed on Gaelin.

"But now, please. Tell me, how do you know him?"

The woman lifted her head sharply. "Leave it alone! I don't know Zevran! I know him from you, nowhere else."

"Please, Gaelin. Your words betray you. I know you know who Zevran Arainai is."

No answer came; the woman just twisted her mouth at the full name.

"Help me find him!"

Gaelin waved her hand dismissively and quickly headed for the door. "No way! Foolish girl, what are you thinking? From now on, your place is with Feléna's team; it's best you get used to it. How many times have you heard there's no way out? Wasn't yesterday's lesson enough for you to keep that in mind?" She looked down at the girl scornfully. "Today you'll go with her, just as you will tomorrow! You won't become a warrior, alright, well, you won't! But with Feléna, you have to stand your ground!"

"Feléna can kill human creatures with a single touch."

"Indeed, and she can heal just as easily with a single touch, should you get into trouble. Death or life? It's up to you which you choose! You can be a foolish little nobody, and sooner or later you'll drop out, yes, but you could even become a powerful member of the party!"

Dina's voice remained quiet after Gaelin's rousing speech.

"Are you a Veiler as well?"

The woman grumbled, her shoulders slumping. "As if it makes any difference. Don't worry about that now. Let's drop this Zevran topic already! From now on, you'll drink parsley tea every morning, just in case. There could have been others besides Zevran, who knows...!"

"There weren't. Zevran didn't allow it, I told you he paid for me."

"Back to Zevran again! I've had enough of him!"

"Wait... just let me ask this: can spy-women marry?"

The woman rolled her eyes, but answered nonetheless. "You're driving me mad! Strictly speaking, marriage isn't forbidden, but the real answer to your question is no!"

"What real question?"

"The one about whether Zevran – for heaven's sake, now I'm the one bringing it up! – whether Zevran will come for you and marry you. Let me tell you, that's not going to happen! Zevran won't go after anyone, and I very much doubt he'd commit to anyone! And even if, by some miracle, that happened, no, he couldn't marry you as a spy-woman."

Dina's inquisitive look waited for the continuation. "Who could marry me?"

"A Veiler party member. The higher the rank, the better. Or the party might give you to some Guifol brute out of interest, to gather information on him. Who knows what those blasted people are planning in their obsidian cave."

"Gaelin. Am I a party member now?"

The woman shook her head. "You'll be one fully with the oath. But you'd better start thinking of yourself as one already."

Dina said nothing, knowing the other option.

The woman finally made a strange gesture, as if standing to attention, and then in a voice that sounded almost cold, she shouted toward Dina. "You're going with Feléna today too, just as you will every day. And you're going to be one of her best!"

The door closed behind her.

*

Feléna's every single journey to and from was always the same. Silent.

A week had already passed, and that day, Dina, even surprising Feléna, suddenly spoke up. She didn't speak loudly, knowing she couldn't due to the sensitivity of the topic, and without looking up at the woman, she asked her question, staring at the cobblestones.

"How can it be that parents let their daughters come here every single day, knowing they might not come back? At any time, anyone... could be sent off, couldn't they?"

Feléna was genuinely surprised, hesitating, as if debating whether to ignore Dina, then looked ahead. For some reason, she answered anyway.

"That's right, as you say. Anyone could be the last, at any time. You too, you know that, right? Just because you live with us doesn't make you special."

Dina didn't reply. She knew. Instead, she returned to the topic of the parents. "But how...?"

"They don't let them go."

The girl didn't understand, waiting for further explanation.

"Only those can go home at the end of the day whose parents we know and who we know are loyal to the party, or at least are strong Veiler supporters. The rest live inside."

Dina realized that the cave system, of which she had only seen the first two chambers so far, might be larger than she had thought. And who knows what other rooms were there. She wasn't even sure she wanted to see them. At any rate, she didn't particularly want to live underground all the time, without sunlight and fresh air, so this time she was somewhat grateful that Feléna and Gaelin had arranged a relatively spacious room for her. Practically for free. All it cost was her life.

*

Days passed, and soon weeks too.

Zevran didn't get in touch.

But Feléna did take them to a Veiler gathering where they had to behave according to strict, pre-learned rules. At other times, she simply took them for a walk in the city park to teach them how to walk properly.

Truth be told, Dina didn't mind these lessons. Although her heart was far from the party, the desire to become more refined, more attractive wasn't far from her, and Feléna was teaching her exactly that, and for free. All it cost was her life, too.

*

Later, she learned that Feléna specialized in mind-altering spells and healing in magic. She could only practice the first on sleepers, and while Gaelin had mentioned the latter to Dina, she found it hard to imagine. After all, there was a girl to be buried every week, usually the task of the newcomers, as it had once been hers. But on one occasion, one of the long-standing, valued trainees was severely injured, a knife lodged directly into her leg.

The blood was everywhere, soaking into the grey dress like a thirsty sponge absorbing the crimson stain. The girls screamed as Feléna, with incredible composure, made her way through them and knelt beside the injured girl, placing her hand on the open wound. She had to focus intensely; the spell of returning life took much longer than the killing one. When she finally lifted her hand from the girl's leg, the wound had already begun to scar, as if weeks had passed in the brief moment of magic. Feléna, however, looked utterly exhausted. She staggered as she rose to her feet, supported by two older girls. Her chest heaving, she left the awestruck crowd behind.

Dina stood there, watching it all, and thought of Fernil. While she was glad for the girl's recovery, she couldn't help but think that her brother had needed help like that too. Thus, her feelings towards the Veiler faction's spy training and Feléna remained unchanged.

"You are to become deception itself!" echoed in her mind as she stood by the window that evening, arms folded, gazing out at the night-time street as if waiting for someone. She pictured the shape of a fair-haired elf man floating through the darkness, approaching the house, and imagined smiling at him from the window. Zevran, please come. Don't delay; don't wait until my face and my heart harden, until that lightness you loved in me disappears forever. Hurry.

Yet Dina, unknowingly, had already begun down that path. She had no real connections among the other people here; she only spoke to Gaelin and, sometimes, Feléna. She didn't even know the names of the other girls. She would have gladly befriended the tall girl; after all, the harsh events of that first day had bonded them. But Feléna, as though she could read Dina's thoughts even when awake, watched her with a sidelong glance before whispering to her.

"Don't bother talking to her. She's not worth it."

Not long after, the tall girl, too, was gone. Dina watched in horror as Feléna stepped away from her, leaving her lying on the much-admired obsidian floor, her eyes glazed with blood just like the others, her limbs twisted.

I'll do it, Feléna. I will become deception itself. Even for you.