I May Live On

She hid her hair sticks after her first night and tried to keep her pendant out of sight. It was a comfort to her; its weight reassured her that she had a home to go to. After three days on the ward, she earned herself a reputation as a real troublemaker. She tried to break a window by ripping up a chair that was bolted to the floor and swinging it against the glass. They had her before she even managed a second swing. She spent the rest of the day sedated, sat in front of the mind-numbing cartoons in the T.V lounge. When she came back to herself she realised to her horror that she had drooled all down her front. No one had bothered to clean her face. 

The day after she had tried scrambling out of a low air vent in the recreation room and tripped a silent alarm. She had spent twenty-four hours confined to her room. Doctor Tanaka confronted her with her behaviour.

"In doing this, you are going to ruin any chance you have of going to a less secure ward."

"I don't belong here, I am not mad," Was her reply. "Look at me Doctor; I'm rational and reasonable. Even if this was a fantasy, who am I hurting by believing in such things?"

"You were going to run away; coming back to your parents was a subconscious cry for help. Your delusion is so advanced you think you can live within it."

"If that is true doctor then where was I for two weeks? If I was in a delusion how, come I returned well fed and without a scratch on me?" The doctor shook her head.

"I can only assume you managed to look after yourself while immersed."

"And is that normal?" asked Chihiro knowing the answer.

"No," Replied the doctor. "Yours is a very interesting case."

Chihiro was sure the doctor meant well, but she had an inherent mistrust of the medical profession. She knew it all stemmed from that horrible councillor she had been forced to see. She also knew that if she could calm down and think she could perhaps find a way out. But even with the drugs being pumped into her she was in a constant panic, she believed that she would never leave this place unless she escaped. Her parents came to see her, but she was drugged after another escape attempt in which she flooded the toilets. She could barely understand what they said to her, but she could gather they were both upset by the state she was in.

"Good," she thought. "Serves them right!"

She realised after five days that she was not going to get shock therapy or any other barbaric treatment, and she managed to get a hold of herself at last. She knew these opportunistic escape attempts were getting her nowhere. She needed a plan. She became a model resident overnight. This meant she was more carefully watched than ever, but after a few days of exemplary behaviour the nurses and orderlies paid her less attention. After four days of this, Doctor Tanaka said that if she kept behaving herself, she would be moved in a few weeks.

"Where it will be easier to escape!" She thought. It was not much of a plan, but it was the best she could think of.

At night she was sedated, so she had no chance to feel lonely or think about her friends in the spirit world. When she did get a few moments to herself, she would imagine what they would be thinking about her. Would they think she had decided to stay? Or would they be trying to find her? She remembered Haku's words.

"Have faith in us; we will not fail you again."

She kept looking for a way out.

She had been in hospital over two weeks when the mix up happened. The ward was short staffed, so they had called in nurses from another ward. When Chihiro went to bed that night, she was not given a sedative. She was still very tired from all the residual drugs in her system, but the sleep she fell into was a natural one. She began to dream.

Just as before, it felt like she was watching television from a distance. She saw Haku's office and Linca, Rin, Kamaji and Haku crowded into it. Haku was pacing the floor, hands clasped behind him. His lovely face was clouded with worry.

"I told you," he snapped at Linca. "We should have done something last week!"

"They are her parents," interrupted Rin. "She can spend as much time as she likes with them."

"She is not with her parents." He growled and stopped pacing like a caged animal.

"How do you know?" Asked Kamaji while cleaning his glasses nervously.

"Do you think I would be careless enough to let her go with no way of tracking her? She is about a hundred miles from where she should be."

"Maybe," said Kamaji very carefully, "she has decided to stay." The look Haku gave the old spirit could have powdered stone.

"No," piped up Linca. "That's not it, I saw it in her eyes before she left, she meant to come back." Haku nodded to her and resumed his pacing. "There was one other thing," Mumbled the land spirit. The green eyes turned on her once more. "She had a terrible feeling of dread before she left. I think she had a premonition."

"And this just happened to slip your mind?" Drawled Haku dangerously.

"It's not my business what she chooses to tell you dragon!" Snapped back the sprite. Haku shook his head.

"That does it, I've waited long enough." He turned around sweeping his gaze across everyone in the room. "Whether you approve or not, I'm getting her back."

Chihiro was shouting at the scene at the top of her voice.

"Yes, please, please come, I need you!" But they did not seem to hear her. It seemed they were going to come anyway. Kamaji shattered that prospect.

"There are rules Haku, you know them well. You cannot interfere unless she asks for help."

Haku sank into his chair. He looked tired, like he had not slept in days. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

"The last contact I had from her...it was a feeling of such rage...like she had suffered a great injustice or betrayal." He mumbled. They were all looking at him. "After that nothing," He sighed wearily, "two weeks of nothing. It's like she has been asleep." All of a sudden the eyes blazed and his mouth twisted. He slammed his fist down on his desk cracking the dark wood and making everyone jump.

"She could be dead for all I know! And I'm just sitting here!"

"You would know if she was dead I think." Whispered Rin.

Chihiro shouted again at them.

"Please! I do need you, help, Please!" The image was starting to fade. "No, No!" She was panicking now. Then with insight born of sheer desperation she tried...

"Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi. I request your aid. By all the powers of your river, I bid you help me!" It sounded suspiciously like a spell, without the cheesy rhyme, but had not Linca said it was not the words that counted? The words were an aid, nothing more; it was the intent and will that were important.

The image jumped back into focus. Haku's head snapped up, and he looked directly at her, green eyes wide and shocked. He stood.

"Chihiro?" he whispered. She felt a pain in her arm; the drugs had been administered at last.

"Help me Haku please!" she shouted, "I'm trapped."

"Chihiro!" he called again knocking his chair to one side. "Who has you? Where are you exactly?" The image was fading fast, the drugs pulling her deeper, away from him.

"In a Hospital" she cried "Exactly where I'm not sure I..." The medication sucked her under.

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