Arish's pov:

First love. He was my first love, he was my first date, first kiss, first time. He was my first in everything. And me? I'm his second, not his first kiss, not his first time, not his first date. I'm his second in everything.

Mahirap mag mahal ng isang taong may greatest love.

"Dwayne" tawag ko sakanya habang hawak ang phone niya.

Hindi ko naman gawain na mag tingin ng cellphone niya, kinutuban lang ako nung nag send si elai ng screenshot na nasa following list ulit ni dwayne si hanna.

"What are you doing?" Agaw niya sa phone niya.

"Should I be concerned?" Alam kong dapat ako ma concern dahil nangangamusta siya kay hanna sa Instagram.

He looked deep into my eyes as he shook his head "Nandito na ako sayo. Bakit ka pa concerned dun?" He shook his head and stormed out.

I'm acting blind again. Mahal niya pa si Hanna?

Ang dami na naming hinarap na pag subok saaming dalawa. Pa graduate na kami malapit na namin matupad mga pangarap namin tapos eto siya. Ano nanaman kayang motive niya at nangangamusta siya.

Kinagabihan hindi umuwi si dwayne, hindi ko alam kung saan siya pumunta. Pag gising ko wala pa din si dwayne, galit pa din ba siya?

Kasalanan ko. Hindi kasi ako mapalagay knowing na finafollow niya ulit yung greatest love niya at siya pa nag initiate ng conversation.

Tinawagan ko si gab na kasama si ineish kung nakita or nadun ba siya pero wala daw, dahil na busy sila. Hindi din daw alam ni kean, jay and ash.

Nagulantang nalang ako ng pumasok si dwayne lasing, amoy yosi pa, tinaasan ko siya ng kilay nang maupo siya sa may door step ng condo namin.

"Ano ba dwayne saan ka ba nag punta?!" Inalalayan ko siya pero tinulak niya ako ng kaunti.

"Can't you see I'm drunk".

"Kaya nga! I'm trying to help you" tumayo at pagewang gewang na nag lakad sa guess room.

Kinabukasan nag luto ako ng breakfast, I want to apologize for snooping through his phone. Nag mumukha tuloy na wala akong tiwala sakanya.

Pag gising niya umupo siya agad sa lamesa at nag simulang kumain ng tahimik "Dwayne, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have snoop through your phone" he just nodded. No words, No eye to eye contact, Just plain nod.

Ilang linggo nang nag bago si dwayne, he doesn't answer my messages, he comes home late, hindi siya nag uupdate, Nothing. He's just cold.

Nawalan na siya ng gana.

"Rish, I-consider mo na yung offer" pangungulit saakin ni elai.

"Paano si dwayne?" Bumuntong hininga siya "Ano ba puro nalang si dwayne inuuna mo! Pwede bang just this once unahin mo naman yung matagal mo nang pangarap"

"And seriously? Pipiliin mo pa din yung lalaking nag yoyosi?" I rolled my eyes, wala naman akong pake kung may bisyo siya.

"Sinubukan ko naman na patigilin siya, kaso hinahanap hanap niya talaga" tumawa siya ng malakas.

"Malamang! Hindi naman Ikaw yung babae na makakapag tigil sa bisyo niya!"

She has a point. If he wanted to, he would. Tumayo siya at inayos and gamit "Call me pag naka pag decide ka na" I sighed.

I've always wanted to become a model, pero ayokong Iwan si dwayne kahit ganito pa sitwasyon namin ngayon.

I want to clear shit with him kaya pinuntahan ko siya sa room nila sa at school.

Nag prepare ako ng favorite niyang mushroom beef steak.

As I was walking towards their campus room, there I saw him with hanna, umuwi na pala siya kaya wala na akong silbi sakanya.

Seeing her again crushed the world that i built with dwayne, the one that's just me and him.

He looks so damn happy that it hurts me so much, hindi naman siya ganyan tumingin saakin.

Meron siyang nakasinding sigarilyo sa kamay na agad niyang tinapon at inapakan, lumayo siya saglit at nag alcohol.

They gave each other a long tight warm hug.

I should've believe people who kept warning me na iniitay niya lang si hanna.

Kung papipiliin ko siya, alam ko na agad sagot sa tanong ko.

She came back, ano pa silbi ko? Wala din naman mangyayari if i choose to fight. So, I'll just let it go.

Pag uwi niya kinagabihan agad ko siyang sinubukang kausapin.

"Dwayne" he gave me his boring look  sabay upo sa sofa habang nakapikit. Hindi naman ganyan yung mata niya kanina nung kasama si hanna.

"Rish I'm tired" I sat down beside him "Can you at least lend me your ears?"

A moment of silence, nakatingin lang ako sakanya reminiscing all the struggles we faced together, all the memories we built inside that 4 year relationship.

"Ano?" I looked deep in his eyes as I smiled a bit. If letting go means he'll be happy then, I'll let him go.

"I know about you and hanna" nanlaki ang mata niya at napaayos siya ng upo.

"You look really really happy" I smiled sadly as the tears starts to form "Never ko pa nakita na ganun ka kasaya saakin" I wiped the tear that fell. His gaze is burning me that i just want to melt and cry.

"Rish"

"I'll let you go now, dwayne. Because, i know damn well that you'll choose her. You always do." I held his hand tight for the last time.

"Alam ko naman na, you'll choose her. Kaya ako na mag paparaya. My white flag is up now" I smiled at him one last time as I stoop up ready to leave everything behind.

"Rish" he called me when I was ready to open door.

No. I won't look back, kasi alam kong yayakapin ko lang siya pag nilingon ko pa siya.

As soon as i walked out of his condo, i immediately dialed Elai.

"Elai, I'll consider the offer. Pero I'll sign the contract after I graduate two weeks nalang naman yun" sabi ko sa tawag namin.

"Alam ko na nangyari. Asan ka I'll bring us some cuervo" I chuckled habang pinupunasan luha ko. Ayokong mapag Isa sa hotel na tinutuluyan ko so I told her my whereabouts.

After we finished the whole bottle elai was the first one to get drunk.

I reached for my phone and looked for dwayne's number and dialed it.

After a few rings he picked up.

"H-hey Dwayne" I said as my voice cracked.

"It's late, rish. You should sleep"

"I miss you. Can you meet me tomorrow? Kahit huli na yun I just want to see you"

I heard him took a deep breath.

"Fine, meet at the park 8pm"

"Thank you dwayne" gusto ko siyang makita, i miss him.

I'll leave after my graduation, kaya gusto ko talaga makita siya.