uhm... yeah

Characters: British Empire, Portuguese Empire, Spanish Empire, Russian Empire, Second Reich (aka Reichtangle), French Monarchy, Napoleonic France, Austria-Hungary, America, Smol Third Reich, Smol Soviet, and Русская Америка or Alaska when it was under Russian control

«keep in mind: British, Portuguese, French Monarchy, Napoleonic France, Russian, Spanish, and Second Reich are all adults, America (when he appears) is about 20, and Third Reich, Soviet, and Русская Америка are about 10-12»

Spanish: hey Portuguese, if you're in a war, how would you fight them? Hit them in their shins?
Portuguese: haha kneecaps go bye

~~~

[Isn't this what happened when Napoleon took power after the murder of King Louis?]
French Monarchy: this is your captain speaking
Napoleonic France, stabbing French: AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING

~~~

Second Reich, planning a prank: do you know Britain's password?
Russian: you suck, Reich.
Second Reich: Hey!
Russian: no, you misunderstood. The password is "yousuckreich"
Second Reich: no numbers? Not very safe

~~~

British: I may not know him well, but anyone who hurts my little friend Portuguese is getting a stern talking to-

~~~

Second Reich: can I sit?
British: I most certainly hope you can!
British: just not with me

~~~

Third Reich: you're not my babysitter!
Russian, who unfortunately was the one chosen to watch Third: No, I'm not. Babysitters get paid for the shit they go through.

~~~

British: I don't do love. That's for fools.
Napoleonic France, walking in covered in blood: hey
British: fuck-

~~~

Second Reich: how was the camping trip?
Third Reich: THEY TRIED TO KILL ME
Soviet, rolling his eyes: you said the bugs were bothering you so I sprayed you with bug spray.
Third Reich: ASSAULT

~~~

Portuguese: try looking at it from my perspective!
Spanish, British, and French: *sinks down to the floor*
Portuguese: Ò_Ó

~~~

Russian: you know Soviet, you can be really destructive.
Soviet: I can?? *runs off*
Russian: wait I wasn't giving you permission—
Soviet, pushing a lamp off its table: too late!

~~~

[Isnt this what happened when Русская Америка became Alaska?]
America: Ruscaya, I knight thee into statehood in the name of the father-
Russian: *waves awkwardly*
America: the son-
Soviet: *dabs*
America: and the unholy spirits
Second and Third Reich: *demonic screeching*

~~~

Portuguese: you know, when I was your age-
America: you know, when I was your height-
Portuguese:
Portuguese: listen here you little-

~~~

Spanish: you guys saved the day once again!
British: you were there too! You're with us!
Spanish: yeah, but I did nothing except growl and hiss and act like a nuisance. So basically, nothing at all

~~~

Second Reich: okay there's been a change of plans
Second Reich: I'm not going to Africa, I'm going to hell.
Second Reich: not all that excited about it

~~~

British: I only brought you here for emotional support while I talk to French, so don't say a word
Spanish: okie
British, to French: so anyway-
Spanish: *plays trumpet*
British: we came here to-
Spanish: *plays trumpet louder*
British: we wanted to-
Spanish: *begins playing mariachi music on his trumpet*
British: *visibly shaking*

~~~

Napoleonic France, cleaning British's wounds: what happened?
British: I got into a fight
-earlier-
British: Spanish, punch me as hard as you can. I want to spend time with France and I need an excuse for it
Spanish: say no more

~~~

America, bursting into the room: BEEP! There's a fire!
Second Reich: I was just learning how to cook with French-
America: I'm sorry, are you a smoke detector?
Second Reich:
America: that's what I thought. BEEP!

~~~

[Isn't this what happened at the beginning of WW1]
Austria-Hungary: top tip: when in trouble
Austria-Hungary, looking at Second Reich: blame someone else

~~~

Third Reich: hey what are you doing?
Soviet: *sitting outside in the sun* getting some vitamin d
Third Reich:
Soviet:
Third Reich: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Soviet: FROM THE SUN YOU HEATHEN

~~~

British: I believe I'm in the unfortunate situation of having to consider others feelings

~~~

Third Reich: Captain's Log, Day 25: our rations are slim. There is only a mere chocolate bar between us
Soviet, seated on the curb next to him: uhm, it's only been 25 minutes
Third Reich: Soviet has succumbed to the sea madness with the passing time-

~~~

Russian: Before I go, I want you to know I will never forget you.
Русская Америка: You don't have to say that every time you go to the grocery store, you know.
Russian: Why? It's true!

~~~

British: the real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Alright, easy. Just don't die. There you go
British: "but how?" You may ask. Easy. Just don't do it. Refuse to. Say "no thanks" to death

~~~

Second Reich: you said "dangerous psychopath with a history of violence" like it's a bad thing

~~~

Russian: what drink do you want? There's vodka, tequila, w-
British: I'll take a water please
Russian: you don't want to do something more wild?
British: fine, I'll take a soda

~~~

Soviet: I'm not afraid to be alone with my thoughts!
Soviet:
Soviet: I have positive thoughts! Plenty!
Soviet:
Soviet: the bright sun, playing with Third, girls, pulling a prank, giving gifts, my mother is most likely dead, I'm going to die alone-
Soviet: oh that was fast-

~~~

Third Reich: please!
Second Reich: uhhh no
Third Reich: pleaseeee?
Second Reich: n to the o, sorry buddy
Third Reich: awwww pleaseeee?
Russian: Reich, just get inside your son's pillow fort so we can sleep

~~~

Russian: hey Русская Америка, thanks for doing the dishes!
Soviet: how do you know I didn't do them?
Russian: because once, when all the knives were dirty, I saw you cut your bread with a key

~~~

Portuguese: I've always wondered, how do tall people sleep when the blanket can't possibly touch your toes?
Spanish:
Spanish: its 3 am
Portuguese: you can't sleep?
Portuguese: is it because of the blanket?

~~~

Third Reich, internally: is Soviet really my friend? Better tell them a bad joke and see if they laugh
Third Reich: why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with!
Soviet: *chuckles*
Third Reich, internally: okay well that doesn't count, that joke is hilarious

~~~

Russian, with a feral Third Reich growling at him: Get your damn mutt off me!
Second Reich, unenthusiastically: stop. Bad. No.

~~~

Spanish: Roses are red,
Spanish: violets aren't blue
Spanish: talk shit about Portuguese
Spanish: and I'll hit you with my shoe

~~~

Soviet, t-posing in the doorway: hello big sibling figure
Русская Америка: hello parasite

~~~

Soviet: did you know that potatoes were the first vegetables grown in space?
Third Reich: I didn't, but why it this relevant?
Soviet: it may not be relevant but it is important
Third Reich: why?
Soviet: because you just got tater taught!
Third Reich:
Third Reich, pulling out a knife: >|

~~~

Russian, explaining that he's not always going to be there: you're going to need to stand on your own two feet
Soviet: I can do that! I can stand on my own two feet-
Russian: *smiles in relief*
Soviet: *immediately falls over*
Soviet: *tries to get up but just falls back over again*
Russian:

~~~

British, quietly: hey Siri how does one act as a leader?

~~~

America: who's in charge at you house when your parents aren't home?
Русская Америка: uhm, no o-
Soviet: whoever screams the loudest

~~~

Russian, drunk on vodka again: earthquakes are so weird because the world's sitting in space and then the planet just decides to shimmy?
Second Reich, also drunk but on beer: woahhh
British, somehow sober and the designated driver: I- that's not even-

~~~

British: you know, I hate seeing you like this
Second Reich: like how?
British: in person

~~~

British: what's that one Spanish Christmas song? "The least knobby dot?"
Spanish: *angry silence*

~~~

France: As Lady Macbeth once said, "don't be a pussy, it's just murder."
Spanish: i thought you didnt know Shakespeare.
France: dating British has its downsides.
Spanish:
Spanish: wait what-