Just a reminder that I do not support anything these countries have done and it's all just for humor!! I have to say this because I once accidentally offended my Jewish friend with one of these and I really don't wanna offend anybody!!!

Third Reich: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying

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Third Reich: Are you sure you aren't dating Imperial Japan?
Fascist Italy: If I am, I certainly wasn't informed of it.
Imperial Japan: To be fair, if any of us were dating someone without realizing it, it would be you.

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Third Reich: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Fascist Italy: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away.
Third Reich: Death isn't real, and I'm a God.
Fascist Italy: *sighs* yep, there it is

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Fascist Italy, holding out his hand: can you hold this
Imperial Japan, not paying attention: *grabs Fascist's hand*
Imperial Japan: this is your hand
Fascist Italy: Yeah
Imperial Japan:
Imperial Japan: you're scared aren't you
Fascist Italy: yes

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Third Reich: you know, I kinda feel like I forgot something
Imperial Japan: if you forgot it it probably wasn't very important
Fascist Italy, standing in a Walmart parking lot at 2am:

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Fascist Italy: *sees ladybug*
Fascist Italy: *tips hat* ma'am

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Imperial Japan: just tried pineapple on pizza and actually it was kinda good
Fascist Italy: *loading a gun and aim it* I'm sorry but I can't let you get away with this

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Fascist Italy: I came here to have a good time and honestly I'm feeling attacked right now
Third Reich: I came here to attack people and honestly I'm having a good time right now

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Imperial Japan: Is something burning?
Fascist Italy: *leaning on the counter seductively* just my desire for you
Imperial Japan: Itaria, the toaster is on fire

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Fascist Italy: you lied?
Imperial Japan: I may have
Fascist Italy: you may have or you did?
Imperial Japan: I may have did

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Third Reich: What's the word for the infestation of tiny creatures over there? They're disgusting
Fascist Italy: ...that's a school. Those are children

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Fascist Italy, on the phone with Third Reich: you're not coming to my dinner party?!?
Fascist Italy: GERMANIA I MADE 𝗣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗔

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Third Reich, speaking out loud as he writes: dear diary,
Third Reich: now my teenage angst bullshit has a body count
Soviet: *spits out his Pepsi*

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Imperial Japan: what in the— what is going on in here?!?
Third Reich, duct taping Fascist Italy to the ceiling: not much actually. Honestly, today's been pretty boring

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Third Reich: it's times like this that I wish I'd listen to what my Vater told me before he passed
Fascist Italy: what did he tell you?
Third Reich: oh, I have no idea. I wasn't listening.

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Imperial Japan: okay, now we have to be careful and quiet—
Fascist Italy: *instantly trips over everything, and accidentally sets his pants on fire*

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Third Reich: look, I had fun and that's all that matters
Fascist Italy: everything is on FIRE!!!
Third Reich: that's all that matters

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Third Reich: my biggest flex is that my existence offends god