What did i tell you

So uhhh apparently this book has 2k reads??? When did this happen??? It seems like just the other day it was at 1k???

Thanks for that I really never thought I'd get this far :D

I'm also going to take this opportunity for shameless self promotion— I wrote a real fanfic a while back, called "The Masquerade" focusing mostly on America so feel free to give it a read if you want. If you don't want that's ok too idrc

Anyway self promotion over you guys came for the quotes so—

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Ireland: Did you find anything interesting when you were spying on England?
Northern Ireland: He has this book, this burn book, where he writes mean things about the other countries.
Ireland: What did it say about me?
Northern Ireland: You. . . You weren't in it.
Ireland: ThAt BiTCH—

~~~

Wales: This is a Feeling Stick! Whoever has the stick gets to say what they're feeling without getting judged! I'll go first! I feel like I want to know what your feeling~!
Wales: *Passes the Feeling Stick to Scotland*
Scotland: *Breaks the Feeling Stick in half*
Wales: Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my Feeling Stick. Luckily I always come prepared *pulls out a smaller Feeling Stick out of his sleeve*

~~~

Denmark: hey, greenland! how are you?
Greenland: *walks up closer without saying a word*
Denmark: um.
Greenland: *gets even closer*
Denmark: UM.
Greenland: *gets super fucking close*
Denmark: uh, greenland, you good?
Greenland: *inhale*
Greenland, whispering, pointing to his eyepatch: they took my fucking eye

~~~

one of egypt's cats: *falls out of a box* MMAAOOWW
egypt: SIR
cat: MURROWWWW...
egypt: that excessive yelling is unwarranted!!
cat: MMMEEOOAAAWWWWW!!
egypt: SIR!!

~~~

Fascist Italy: When you said you'd do "magic in bed", this wasn't exactly what I was expecting.
Imperial Japan: *holds up 8 of hearts* Is this your card?
Fascist Italy: *softly* Holy shit

~~~

UN: can i ask you a question?
NASA: sure!
UN: are you from outer space?
NASA: what? no! i'm from a planet, like everyone else!
UN: this one?
NASA: uh- well, there's no reason to get so specific—

~~~

Ireland, at some point: I've now burned two union jacks and set Nothern Ireland on fire

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America: what if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Mexico: no that's not-
Canada: wait, I think he's on to something

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Russia: I'm-
America: Gay
Ukraine: Gay
Belarus: Gay
Kazakhstan: Gay
Poland: Gay
Canada: Gay
Germany: Gay
Literally the whole world: Gay
Russia: I'm not gay!
Russia:
Russia: I'm bi

~~~

Wales: don't break someone's heart, they only have one!
Scotland: break their bones. They have 206 of those

~~~

China: Today is a good day for death.
Japan: I don't want you to die!
China: Oh no, not me. Today is a good day for America's death.

~~~

Canada: where do you wanna get a healthy snack, Ame?
America: i want mcdonalds
Canada: i said a hEaLtHy SnAcK AmErIcA

~~~

Britain: So you like her?
America, with an arm around Mexico: Yeah
Britain: So you like him now?
America, now with an arm around Russia: Yeah
Britain: What do you like??? girls?? boys??
America, very slowly: Yes

~~~

America: what are you guys doing?
Puerto Rico, laying face down on the floor: i'm slowly and painfully suffering during my stupid, miserable existence
Florida, munching on potato chips: i'm supervising

~~~

Fascist Italy, to Third: I can be dark and brooding too-- Hey look, a rainbow!!

~~~

Italy: Damn Germany, are you secretly cool?
Germany: Well poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Fredric Gauss, cool.
Italy: I do not.

~~~

Japan: *sitting in a cardboard box*
Japan: I'm taking the cat's advice and hiding in here from the hardships of life

~~~

Brazil: I'm trying to catch mythical animals. Maybe I'll catch a penguin
Argentina: ...penguins are real, Brazil.
Brazil: That's the spirit. They're real to me too.

~~~

America: do you think we were friends in another life
Soviet: we aren't even friends in this life
America: yeah that's why I said in 'another life' you dumbass

~~~

EU: I believe you said that your childhood experience was satisfactory?
Germany: no, you misheard me, i said it was 'sadness factory'

~~~

Czechia: can you explain to me why everyone thinks you're so cute?
Poland: :D
Slovakia: okay, fair point

~~~

Bulgaria: what do you think they're doing in there?
Ottomans: idk probably making out or smth
Bulgaria: you know what I'm going to confront them
Bulgaria: *opens the door to reveal Second Reich and Austria-Hungary having a tea party*
Bulgaria: oh my god
Second Reich: If you tell anyone about this i swear I will kill you

~~~

Italy, after reading the original Cinderella: what if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave and she was called mozzarella?
Germany: don't talk to me ever again

~~~

Soviet: This is cool, but you know what would be cooler?
America: What?
Soviet, literally collapsing: Death.

~~~

Fascist Italy: What are we doing?
Third: Crime.
Fascist Italy: Crime???
Fascist Italy: *strained* Great.