Rye

Her body is draped over me, gasping for air as I hold her close. I'm still inside her as my head begins to clear and I realize we are a curtain away from being in a whole lot of trouble. I should be helping her off me and reminding her to stay silent as we figure out how to get out of this situation, but instead, I tighten my arms, urging her to stay with me a moment longer.

It was bound to happen, the tension between us was too powerful to fight, but as much as I want it to happen again, it can't. This was a stupid risk we can't repeat. It's out of our systems now and we'll just move forward. The rest of the trip she can do her thing and I will do mine. I wish I could say now that we both know what it was like we'd have an easier time of ignoring any desire to play with this fire, but I'd be lying to myself. I just had the best sex of my life in the bunk of a tour bus.

I almost kiss the top of her head to help soothe her, but I know better. This was just sex. Something we clearly both needed and would be best to forget as soon as possible. I let my arms drop away from her body. She stills, as if her own cloudy judgement is dissipating and reality is setting in. She braces herself with her hands at my sides and watches my face for a second.

"Oh my God," she says softly and with a hint of panic. I don't say a word. We both know this was not the best choice for either of us. "You have to get out," she says.

"That's always the plan," I joke, trying to lighten the mood. I move my hips slightly as if to punctuate the joke, but she just scowls at me.

Launi lifts and allows me to space to slip out and I help shuffle her to my side. I'm afraid she's going to start freaking out if I don't move quickly. There's so much at stake with this tour, not just for me and my career and family survival, but also for hers. Once again, we are the two dumb kids who almost messed this up.

"Just go," she says, motioning for me to leave.

"Launi," I warn, "relax, I'm leaving. I can't bounce out of here sweaty looking like I just had sex."

I don't even have a shirt to wipe my face with. I climbed up here in just my sweatpants.

Her eyes glare into mine. "Don't tell me to relax," she whispers harshly.

And we're back. Here's the Launi I know. The Launi that wants to rip my head off and hurt my feelings. The other Launi, the one that wanted me inside her as quickly as possible and with zero regard for consequences must have left the building. Awesome.

I slide the curtain slightly and look out. Right now the bus hazy with smoke and bodies. No one will notice if I can get out quick.

"Let's keep this between us," I tell her, knowing it's going to piss her off that I belabored the obvious.

"No problem," she answers while rolling her eyes.

I chuckle and open the curtain, rolling out and to my feet.

"You've always been a problem actually," I say and before she can respond I close the curtains in her face. I'll leave that for her to interpret.

I freeze, her father steps out from the haze and into sight. My face is frozen, my muscles tense and unmoving.

"Got a shower, huh?" he asks, looking at my exposed chest.

I nod.

"Some chick was looking for you. You might be able to catch her if you head in now, but we are leaving in a few minutes so make it quick," he leans to the side and rests on the wall. Already drunk and having trouble standing.

My shoulders loosen. He didn't see anything and if he did, he's not going to remember.

"I'll get her at the next stop," I tell him as I slide my curtains open and climb up into my own bunk.

"Atta boy," he says.

I give him a small salute and close the curtain, ceremonially closing the scene that could have ended this entire tour. My hands rub down my face as I try to regroup and get my shit straight. How am I going to sleep so close to her and not replay that experience in my head over and over?

My phone buzzes in my pocket. Shit. I know who it is before I can bring myself to look. For some reason, even though our relationship isn't real and I'm supposed to be pictured with other girls, what happened with Launi feels different. Launi was real and that makes reading the text I know is from Tinsley even worse.

Tinsley: I think I can meet you again soon.

Tinsley: Not on set one day next week.

Me: It's crazy now.

Me: Might not be the best time.

I don't want to deal with any of this tonight. I stare the screen waiting for her response. I hear the rumble of the engine as the bus fires up. Voices outside tell people to get off if they aren't supposed to be going with us to the next stop. I stay in my bunk as a few of the other members stumble into their beds. When we wake up in a few hours, this stop and everything that happened here will be behind us.