Chapter 9 : Not Keeping It
The following morning, the poor girl was puking in her bathroom, and it felt like hell for her to have a baby at her age since it was not something she should go through. Once she got out and wiped her face with a towel as she went to her bedroom then saw the brochure of the college of her dreams.
"Honey, breakfast is ready," her mother called from the kitchen.
"Coming." Erika got down the stairs already dressed for school but she was not feeling up to it after having morning sickness which her mother noticed.
"Are you sure that you still want to go to school?"
"I'm okay, Mom." The girl put her head up and sat by the kitchen island.
"Don't worry, you'll get over it."
"I hope so."
"Here, you go." Celine placed the food in front of her, it was toast, scrambled eggs and cube fruits at the side. "I hope you like them, this is what I ate when I was pregnant with you."
"Really?" But Erika was not interested in talking about the pregnancy.
"Yup. Anyway, I was thinking about going to the grocery after work and buy more vegetables and maybe I should get those organic milk because it'll be good for the baby and..."
"Mom," Erika interrupted her intentionally because she did not want to hear anymore of the topic. "I'll just put this in the tupperware. I don't want to be late for school."
"Oh... sure, just give me five minutes then we can leave."
Erika stood up and carried her plate to the kitchen counter to get a container while her mother sat there all silenced feeling that she messed up after babbling about the baby.
Later, in school and it was lunch time, Erika and Chris were on their way to the cafeteria. "I wonder if Shay already left," Chris voiced but Erika had alot in her mind so she wasn't listening to her. "Erika? Hey! Erika! You with me?"
"What?" Erika got back to reality.
"I just said that Shay must've left the country, what do you think?"
"I don't care, he's gone now."
"Woah, where did that come from?" her best friend questioned Erika's attitude change. "You've been avoiding him and yesterday, you told me that you'll 'miss him so much' and now, you don't care? What's next?"
"I'm sorry... I'm..." Erika stammered. "I'm just in a lot of stress."
"I almost forgot. How are you feeling, you know, after yesterday?"
The expecting teenage girl was not ready, or was not sure to tell her best friend her condition. "Uhm... Yeah, it's just stress, that's all," she stammered.
"Really? All that from stress?" Chris lifted a brow yet convinced by it. "Okay, I get that part. Let's talk about something else. Oh! by the way, Kyle said that he got us a limo for prom tomorrow."
"Really? That's great!"
"Trevor is gonna come with us. He doesn't have a date," Chris added.
"Well, he's not the only one," Erika sighed.
"You know, I feel like he hasn't moved on with Jillian. He hasn't date anyone since. Just throwing parties in his house."
"Maybe he doesn't feel like dating again."
"I guess. Anyway, let's focus on the good things, okay?" Chris advised. "I know that... 'what's his name' won't be your date, but don't worry. we'll still have fun regardless, also, this time, let's look out for each other."
"Okay, I like that, thanks, Chris." Erika did feel a little bit better but somehow.
They got to the cafeteria and they were lining up to get their food, all of a sudden, Erika smelled something foul. "Oh! What's that smell?" she whispered.
"Smell what?" Chris asked, looking confuse.
"I'm not sure, but it's smells really bad."
"I hope it's not the pizza."
Erika then saw the pizza once she got to the stalls and realized that was what she was smelling. She didn't feel like eating it yet that was the only food that all the students looked forward to.
It was her turn to get a slice. However, it was making her feel sick, and then she saw the fettucine alfredo which made her crave for it, "Can I have that instead?" she said to the lunch lady.
Minutes later, Erika was munching the pasta like there was no tomorrow while Chris was taking her time eating her pizza and was watching her best friend savage her meal, "Are you stress-eating, or did you skipped breakfast this morning?" Chris joked.
"I just saw it, and I... want it," Erika replied with cream all over her mouth.
"I see, you... have something in your face."
"Oh, thanks." The starving girl wiped her face with a tissue.
Suddenly, Mikey approached them, "Hey! girls," he greeted.
"Hi! Mikey," they said back with a less enthusiastic tone.
"Hey, Erika, I know that you don't have a date for prom tomorrow, and I know it's last minute, but maybe you and I can go together?"
The girl just didn't feel comfortable, and Chris gave this eye contact to her to say no. "I'm sorry, Mikey but I'm just not ready to go with someone else in prom," Erika answered. "Thanks for asking, by the way."
"Right, I understand but you don't know what you're missing," Mikey responded then walked away from and he did not like that he was turned down.
"What is up with that guy that rubs me the wrong way?" Chris expressed.
"Tell me about it," Erika exasperated.
In the evening, the teenager was studying for her final exam in her room. From upstairs she could here that her mother just got home. "Honey, are you here? I'm home," Celine said loudly from the living room.
"Yeah," Erika said back.
"Come down, I want to show you something,"
Erika what she was doing, and just went down. "What is it, mom?" she was surprised when she saw dozens of paper bag in the living room. "What are those?"
"I told you that I'm buying some stuff for your pregnancy, fruits and veggies, milk, granola bars."
"What?" Erika reacted and looked at one of the bags, she took out a box of biscuit then read the label. "Pre..nola? Snacks for pregnant women? Mom! I'm not keeping it."
"Honey, I get it but..." Celine was about to explain, but her daughter was too hysteral to listen.
"Then why are you doing this?"
"For the baby..."
"Are you punishing me?"
"Honey, no... listen."
"There's no baby, okay?!" the upset teenage girl stormed off to her room and locked herself inside, while her mother was downstairs feeling dejected by what she had done.
Erika began throwing her belongings all over the place feeling so scared that things where not going her way anymore, after that one dreadful night.
Somehow, She stopped her outburst, but that didn't mean she calmed down. The poor girl was on the floor crying putting her arms around her knees and burying her face.
However, Erika had her eyes on a cutter that was on the ground probably from the fit she did a while ago which gave her a drastic idea.
Later, Celine knocked on the door but it was locked, "Erika, sweetie, can you open the door?"
Erika already had the cutter in her hand and a wrist out. "Mom, just leave me alone!" she sobbed.
"Honey, just open the door."
"I'm not keeping the baby and that's that!" Erika was hesitant, but she felt that there was no other choice.
Celine had enough, she took some keys from a drawer and unlock the door. When she opened it, she instantly saw her daughter was about to do. "ERIKA! What are you doing?" she slapped the cutter off from her hand.
"Mom, let me be," Erika weeped.
"Erika, please. Don't ever think about hurting yourself."
"Mom, what's the point? I was raped and that wasn't bad enough, it got me pregnant, I can't... I can't do this, I want to die!"
"But what about me, your dad, and your friends? Are we not enough reason for you to get through this?" Celine began tearing up that her daughter thought of ending her own life. "Honey, we love you."
"If you love me then let me get rid of this baby," Erika wailed.
"Honey, please, hear me out," Celine pleaded her daughter. "Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you with all these. Honestly, I don't know what to do after yesterday. You being pregnant and... How you got pregnant. I know that you didn't ask for this. I just did a lot of thinking last night and I should've talk to you first, that I..."
"You what?"
"Accept the baby."
"But I don't. I'm gonna go to Eliard and I'm not having it there, don't make me choose between the school that I wanted to go and this baby," the teenager ranted.
"Erika, calm down," her mother grunted.
"Because I'm sure sure as hell not going to choose this."
"And I get that, but you have to understand that I'm a mother and a... grandmother to this child because whether you see it or not you're carrying my flesh and blood, and I will love it no matter what," Celine explained her side of what was in her mind. "If you must know, your grandmother, got pregnant when she was your age."
Erika was taken aback by that. "I didn't know that."
"Sometimes, it's hard to talk about her after she passed away. Anyway, it's true, she was also a teenage mom."
"Was it also because...?"
"No, it's different than yours, but back then it was harder to be pregnant at sixteen. She fell in love with my father, and he was two years older than her. When she told him that she was pregnant, he did not want me, my grandparents were furious so they kicked my mother out and never accepted me."
The teenager was stunned to hear that. "Mom, I'm sorry..."
"That's okay. Luckily, my uncle helped my mom raise me. My father came around after he graduated and got a job. I just didn't see him often as I wanted to, because he has his own family until they had to move out of the country," Celine explained.
"Sounds familiar," Erika muttered thought could see why her mother was acting that way because she herself was a child of a teenage mother.
"I know. Anyway, I don't expect you to understand, but I can relate to your baby. This child is also a victim too, then again, it is your decision. But, if you want to keep it, I am here for the both of you. I don't want you and him to go through what I went through with my grandparents."
"Okay, Mom, two weeks," Erika agreed to her mother's suggestion then she hugged her. "Thanks, mom, and I'm sorry."
"Everything will be okay."
"Can I still go to prom tomorrow?"
"Will you be okay in prom?"
"Yeah, this time I will be more careful."
"What about Shay?" Celine questioned. "Now, that I know why you distance yourself to him, are you going to tell him?"
"No," Erika said to her mom by looking straight to her eyes.
"Erika, you have to tell him, you had to let him know what happened to you."
"Mom, we broke up and he left already, why should it matter if I tell him or not?"
"You two had a relationship and that created this stong bond between the two of you and from how you've been treating him these past five days, he might be wondering why your doing that to him."
"I don't think I can ever tell him."
"That's up to you, Dear, I am here for you anyway." Celine side hugged Erika.
"Thanks, mom."
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