Dan and Phil had been playing mario kart for a while now, but Dan always managed to beat Phil. Of course, every time Dan won, he would say something annoying, bragging about his success. Phil dreaded to think of what Dan would be like if he won the jumper competition. Phil just wanted to shut him up for one minute, leave him speechless as he won the race, which made  Phil more determined, and was always positive that he was going to win. 

"nooo I've got a plant, I've got a plant!" Phil cried, as Dan reached the finish line, yet again. Phil had been so sure he would catch him with that thing.

"too little too plant Phiill," Dan teased.

"that doesn't even make sense."

"your mum doesn't make sense." Dan retorted. Phil giggled, as he told Dan to shut up, and whacked him with the crash bandicoot cushion. Dan abandoned his controller as he went to find as many cushions and pillows as possible, then hurtled them towards Phil. Phil squawked like some unknown creature, and moved his arms from under all the cushions to grab one of them, then whacked Dan repeatedly with it.

Unfortunately for Phil, Dan had hidden himself under the duvet on Phil's bed. Phil ran over to it, and jumped on Dan lying on the bed. Phil looked at Dan with an evil grin and stared at him triumphantly. After only a few seconds it became far too overwhelming so he jumped off the bed, and back to the tv. Phil looked at Dan expectantly, wondering why he hadn't followed him, but saw Dan with a confused look on his face.

"Come on, I'm definitely gonna win this time," Phil prompted. Dan finally started to get up, and sat beside Phil again, cheeks slightly flushed. Phil decided to ignore this bit of information.

--

"I'm just having a leisurely cruise around the place," Dan said smugly. It had taken a while for Dan to get over the whole cushion thing, but Phil almost beating him was enough to stop Dan from thinking about it. He had to admit, he was kind of hurt by Phil's reaction to the weird moment, but he shouldn't have been. of course Phil was going to breeze over it, it was so awkward. Dan wouldn't let it get to him, well, more like he had no time to, as he was far too distracted by Phil almost winning and saying stupid things mid race. It also made it extremely difficult to have a grudge on Phil, he was just too amusing. Plus, this banter was fun, and so much more comfortable than that moment before.

Phil was far too into the zone to appreciate Dan's showing off so Dan added, "I could literally play with my face," as he was way ahead of Phil and the other players.

"Daaaaannn," Phil complained, now taking notice of Dan. "also that's my controller you plant, I don't want your germs on it," Phil said, as an afterthought.

Dan made a mock offended, his mouth gaped open, feigning outrage. "I don't have germs, and I'm think you're the one I should be concerned about, I'm pretty sure you bite the controllers," Dan argued. Phil made noises of protest but no words came out of his mouth. after all, Dan was right.

Seeing as he couldn't think of anything to say back, he decided to ask something else, as he realised they were still playing the whole time they were arguing. "Are you actually playing with your face?" he inquired, while still focusing on the screen.

"no, no, that would be rude," Dan replied with difficulty, sounding as though something was stopping his pronunciation. Phil concentrated harder still, believing he would win, so Dan stayed silent until he won. "Who just finished the race with their face?" Dan boasted, and then made a weird noise like an explosion, getting really close to Phil's face, staring at him in triumph. this time it was Phil who turned from translucent to pink. 

Phil frowned in despair. "I'm rubbish at 150cc, It's too fast," Phil explained, already sounding defeated.

"ooohhh, blame the speed, blame the speed it's going tooooo fast," Dan mocked, once again getting right in Phil's face, with a creepy grin.

"what's that face?"

"It's the face of I won."

"no. no, I'm not accepting this," Phil announced, "all or nothing!" he shouted.

"you can't just say all or nothing," Dan complained. Phil made his eyes go all big, and he pouted.

"that is the most disturbing face ever, but, I'll be the better sportsman, constantly sacrificing my safety for you then sure," Dan decided.

Phil eagerly chose the next course, and started the race. As the race counted down, Phil said, "time to die in a fire," but then he pressed the go button at the wrong time and didn't get the boost at the beginning. Dan scoffed,

"the only fire's coming out of your exhaust"

They played through the laps for a while until Dan started to get cocky about being so far ahead, and yawned as he barely thought about pressing the buttons.

"Don't you yawn, I, I'm right up your butt," Phil chastised. Dan did two long blinks, then looked into the distance like, 'what?' and faced Phil in shock.

"I totally derailed myself at that," Dan complained. "so not fair," he muttered. Phil just chuckled and carried on playing.

Dan got hit by a load of items, which sent Dan into a rant about how unfair the game was to good players, but it caused him to drive into the wrong places, and get hit by even more items. "I'm not taking this as seriously as i should," Dan scolded himself, getting hit by two shells at once.

The good news was, it seemed like Phil was struggling to, as he went round a corner saying, "oh shhhhhhh" yet, Dan was still slightly behind Phil, but only a little.

"wait, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap," Dan repeated, as he realised the end of the final lap was near. Just then, he was hit by another item, which meant Phil could zoom past.

"I did it! I can't believe I won!" Phil exclaimed, joyfully. Dan dropped the controller.

"Fuck you mario kart and your, stupid shitty random items!" Dan shouted, then made a pained smile.

"sore loser much?" Phil provoked. "I am so gonna rub this in your face, you smug spork," Phil told him, grinning with glee. Dan just rolled his eyes.

!!! read here for me banging on about my fave tv show. stop reading if you have a life !!!

you have no idea how difficult it is to write this instead of listening to crazy ex girlfriend songs (for the uneducated, it's a tv show musical comedy and it's the best thing ever)  - and yes, im still obsessed with it even though ive listened to the songs far too many times... sorry, i really need to stop talking about ceg! -  but hey, i've already converted two of you so what's two more??  maybe i should put my obsession to good use and write oneshots based on some of the songs... but no like honestly i can't do that for multiple reasons... pkay sorry im clearly in a rambly mood, thanks if you actually read this thing.

hey, seeing as i'm still here, why don't i tell you my whole life story...

just kidding!! - good thing the people who read this are here because they're nice, and will put up with me, otherwise everyone would've given up on me.

- also, never write with your phone on the table on vibrate, I think my heart actually just leapt out of my body!