Chapter Twenty Nine

Lizzie heard the door open downstairs, but she planned to go for a swim. She had spent too long with no direction. The following day she planned to visit her sister's solicitor, get the estate sorted, then get on with her life. She'd packed her bag before she came downstairs and approached the two males. They were sat on the sofa watching a cartoon, chuckling. All four eyes looked up to meet her.

"Hey Aunty Lizzie!"

She smiled, "how was school sport?"

Nate grinned; "good..." then his eyes were back on the TV screen. Nothing dragged him from Tom and Jerry for long.

She couldn't bring her eyes to the other face that looked up at her, so she offered, "I'm going for a swim.

Oscar eyed her suspiciously, "thought you just had a bath..."

I can swim after a bath, she wanted to scream out to him, instead she shrugged, "I changed my mind. Laundered the rest of the holiday gear. Did an internet grocery shop...it's coming in the morning..." She grinned then, "and watched a little TV."

She could feel him watching her as she found her shoes and slipped them on. Silent. That for a moment seemed worse than him talking.

"I might miss your bed time darling, will you be ok with Osc...I mean your Dad?"

Nate nodded, jumping up to wrap her arms around him, "that'll be coooool!"

She again tried not to feel pain at how easily Nate's attention had moved from her to his father. She was so easily replaceable in his life, and that really hurt. The thought of living without him was inconceivable.

Hiding her turmoil, she smiled, grabbing her bag, "be good guys."

Then she left.

The local swimming pool was cold, and virtually deserted. Just what she needed. Swimming was her go to. She wasn't fit, in fact she'd avoided appearing in a swimsuit in front of Oscar, but she swam when she could. It beat running or the gym, which she hated. She'd never been slim and she'd used swimming to help defeat her love for food for years...until Nate came on the scene. Because since then she'd spent her free time with her nephew.

It was refreshing, but after a few lengths her breathing increased and her body started to feel the effort. That didn't mean that her mind was occupied by anything other than what she was trying to avoid. Oscar. Or rather what had happened with Oscar.

If Janis was there, and wasn't obsessed with him herself, then she'd tell her that she was mad for her reticence. Lizzie knew she liked him, but that wasn't enough. She had to think of herself, she wasn't strong enough to deal with losing him, yet keeping him in her life. Because that would have to happen. She couldn't lose Nate. She'd never be enough for Oscar, even if he wanted more than a quick fling. Krystal's perfect face, her perfect figure, they haunted her as she cut through the cold water. Then the words of her ex boyfriend as she confronted him over his infidelity, that she wasn't enough for a man, her parents constant put downs. It all swirled more visibly than ever, and all made her realise that protecting herself was the most important thing, her and Nate, that was who mattered.

After thirty lengths, her body aching, she hauled herself out of the pool. Enough was enough. She took her time showering, unchlorinating her hair, yoga pants and a t-shirt were as good as she got. There was a café adjacent to the pool that was still open, so she got a glass or water before a coffee and opened her book. An hour had passed before she realised and she knew she'd have made Oscar worried. Nate would be in bed, she'd not said goodnight, she'd abandoned him and she swore she wouldn't do that. 

Taking a deep breath she walked up to the door, and opened it, letting herself into her own home almost secretly. She felt like a teenager out beyond her curfew, and that didn't sit right with her, so with her kit bag in her hand, she lifted her chin and strode into the lounge.

For a moment she thought the room was empty, but then she spotted Oscar in the furthest corner, his laptop open in front of him. His head down, but she knew that he knew she was there. Instead of confronting him, she walked through to the kitchen and threw her wet kit into the washing machine, then poured herself a glass of wine. She needed more that wanted it.

As she turned back to the lounge, finally ready to face Oscar, she almost jumped out of her skin, to find the man in question leaning against the door frame. Eyes penetrating her like knives.

"Good swim?"

She bit her lip, hating that she was nervous, "yes thanks, it's been a while."

He lifted his head in acknowledgement, "feeling refreshed then."

It was her turn to nod, then she grabbed the wine glass and took a long slug.

She shrugged, wanting to be out of his scrutiny, "I just want to relax."

He lifted an arm and gestured to the lounge, "be my guest. Just wanted to say hello..."

Scowling she walked past him, but when she drew level with him, he reached out, wrapped a hand around her upper arm, then tugged her towards him, and she tumbled into his chest.

"Oscar!" She exclaimed as she tried to steady her glass of wine. But before she could, he took it out of her hand, and put it on the counter behind him.

With both now hands free, she lifted them to his chest, and as she started to push him away, he laughed, then lowered his head, sliding his lips over hers. Anger washed over her and she rolled her fingers into fists and started to punch at his chest...then his tongue slid out, thrusting between her lips, and she melted...literally.

The fists turned to grip at his shirt, pull him close, her tongue dancing and duelling with his. His mouth was amazing; his lips were setting her on fire, heat surging through her body as she clung to him. Every cell in her body was fighting against what her head was screaming...and her body won...Oscar won.

His mouth dropped to her throat, licking up to her ear as he forced her back against the wall. His body pressed into hers, and when she felt his thigh push between hers, she started to grind against it shamelessly, needing something...anything. His teeth nipped at her throat and she moaned, her fingers ripping at his t-shirt, pulling it up, and as he lifted his head from her, tossing it to the floor.

Her hands ran over his shoulders, down to his chest as he nibbled at her neck, grabbing her waist, plastering her against him. His hands slid down her back, over her buttocks and under her clothes, her body tingled almost exploded. Within seconds he'd disposed of them, leaving her naked from the waist down. His mouth kept her attention, biting, nipping and sucking at her throat, then his hands hoisted her, lifter her off the floor, pressing her into the wall.

She had no option other than to wrap her legs around him. Then he pushed into her, somehow his own clothes coming loose, and she screamed. He thrust his tongue into her mouth to silence her, as he increased his pace, and she responded.

Oscar collapsed against her, unable to believe that anything could surpass the previous night. But it had. It was spectacular. And so unexpected. His head was dropped, his forehead on her shoulder, and he could hear her rapid breathing as she tried to regain control.

Slowly he released her legs, and she groaned at that. He didn't want to move away from her, he had no idea how she'd react to what had happened. And he'd be quite happy to stand there, in a little bubble.

But it didn't last. She pushed him away, bending to reach for her clothes. It gave him a moment to dispose of the condom that he'd been level headed enough to remember. Turning back to her, he sighed, there it was. Anger, regret...

Her clothes were bundled in her arms and she was glaring at him.

"Lizzie, don't be like that."

She shook her head, "this should never have happened."

He gave a wry laugh, "really? Because it's like striking a match, whenever we're near each other, boom...explosive."

"It's not right, it's too complicated."

He reached for her, but she evaded him, "there's nothing more simple."

"You think that we can do this? Really?" She shook her head. "I'm not temporary, Oscar. I'm in your life for good. You really want to take this to the next level?"

He was silent for a moment, as he took in what he said. Forever. It was something he didn't do. Could he promise that now?

She gave a laugh, "the thought is enough to make you pale. You couldn't commit to Krystal..."

"What do you know about her?" He asked quickly. Hating that her name invaded this moment.

Rolling her eyes she replied, "I met her, heard all about how you won't put a ring on it...someone as perfect as her. There's not a chance in hell that you're going to give me more than her. And I'm not into casual sex. So do not do this to me again. Ok?"

He grabbed her, forced her to face him, "you're comparing yourself to her?"

That made her laugh, "like I ever could. She's like a model, perfect."

He shook his head, "you are so much more than her. Don't you see that? I've never lost control like this in my life before. YOU make that happen. I can't think straight around you, shit. Lizzie, you are so much more than her, you have to see that, you're beautiful, strong, desirable. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

She bit her lip, and he hoped that was a sign that she believed him. Impulsively, he lowered his head and kissed her, and for a moment she responded, to that. But it was all too brief and then she was pushing him away.

"Don't, Oscar. Please."

He ran a hand through his hair, "I won't give up on this, it's what I want."

She gave a sad smile, "I don't think you know what you want. I won't risk losing Nate, he is more important than me, or you."

"We can't have both? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes. So we start this, some sort of relationship, then it ends...because it will end. Then what? I have to watch you date a string of women? That would hurt me, YOU would hurt me, and that would make this...bringing up Nate too difficult."

She made sense, he could admit that. But it didn't mean that he was lying either. He wanted her again. Once, twice...just wasn't enough. But forever...he didn't do that.

"I don't want to date anyone else."

Her clothes still clutched to her chest defensively, she side stepped towards the door, "you say that now. But I don't believe that'll be the case in days, weeks, months. It's not workable, Oscar, so please don't do this again."

He watched her leave the room, then called out, "you can't resist it any more than I can."