Chapter Thirty

"Are you sure you don't mind us going?"

Lizzie looked up from her laptop and nodded, "of course. You'll both have a great time."

"You should come."

She shook her head, she wasn't in a rush to meet any more of his family, she'd already met Freya and Coop. Not that it was a bad thing; it was more that she needed some time away from him. She imagined his parents would be wonderful, everything that hers weren't and, she wasn't ready for it. Oscar was taking Nate to meet his parents; he was spending a night at their home in Oxford. He'd repeatedly invited her, but it was too complicated, and since their second encounter in the kitchen two nights earlier, she'd been avoiding being alone with him. He knew that. But it didn't mean he was making it easy for her.

At every opportunity he touched her, accidentally of course. Just this morning, whilst they were making breakfast, he'd brushed past her, rubbing against her back side. When she looked at him questioningly, he winked, "that's what you do to me..." Then he leaned in close, "I'm hard...ALL the time around you."

She still blushed at the memory of that, he seemed to be full on, and she had no idea how she'd deal with him full time, hence her feeling desperate for the break from him.

He was sat across from her smirking and that made her blush again.

"It's my favourite thing," his voice was humour filled.

"What?" She snapped back and that made him burst out laughing.

"Making you blush. You think that me going away for the weekend makes it easier, but this isn't going anywhere...and I will win, Lizzie. I guarantee that!"

She rolled her eyes, when he was being cocky, she could retaliate, it made it easier, "nothing in life is guaranteed, you'd better get used to that."

Oscar had thrown their bags into the car, and was waiting for Nate out on the street. Lizzie lingered in the hallway, calling out for Nate who'd disappeared into his bedroom. Finally he appeared, racing downstairs, he was excited to meet his grandparents. But as he reached the front door, he turned around and raced back to her, wrapping himself around her.

"I'm going to miss you Aunty Lizzie."

She pulled him up into her arms and covered him in kisses, "me too baby boy. You be good for your dad, ok? And have TONS of fun, you hear me?"

He nodded as she placed him back on the ground, then watched until the car had disappeared around the corner. Then she headed back inside and called Vicky. Within half an hour she was on a train to Liverpool for a girlie weekend.

It had been so long since they'd had a night out together with no curfew or responsibility, that they were determined to make the most of it. They had dinner at a small Italian restaurant near to her home with the plan to head into town after, and hitting a club or two.

As they were finishing dessert, Lizzie filling her friend in on the details of her recent trip, when her phone rang. Seeing Oscar's number she was tempted to ignore it, but then she thought about Nate, he'd probably want to say goodnight.

"I just need to take this call..." she offered apologetically before connecting. "Hello?"

It was Nate, and her heart melted, "Hey Aunty Lizzie! I just wanted to say goodnight and send you a big kiss."

"That's amazing darling, thank you so much. Are you having fun?"

His giggle came down the phone line, he sounded so happy. "We all had dinner at McDonalds...it was my choice, and my new Nana has never been there before, can you believe that?"

It was her turn to chuckle, "I can't imagine that. It's crazy. You going to bed now?" When he confirmed that he was, she sighed, "sleep well darling. I'll speak to you tomorrow. OK?"

Before she could hang up after his sing-song goodbyes, Oscar appeared on the line.

"Hey Lizzie, knew you wouldn't speak to me if I called. You having a good night?"

It was easy to ignore him, but she wasn't rude. "Great thanks; just about to hit the town, check out the talent, hey Vic?"

Her friend grinned at the same moment that Oscar sighed, "you think so? You keep telling me you don't do casual, so you will be window shopping, whereas when I get home..."

He said nothing, but the implication was there, that he'd be touching her, or she'd be touching him. Either way, it made her blush, heat swamping her. Then she hung up, slamming the phone down on the table. She took several deep breaths, and it wasn't until she lifted her eyes that she realised that Vicky was sat back in her chair, arms folded, looking at her knowingly.

"Got something to tell me?"

Lizzie hated that she was blushing...again; she seemed to spend all her life either crying or blushing. It was a nightmare.

But this was her best friend, and she really had more on her plate than she could deal with.

"I slept with Oscar."

Vicky leaned forward, "I bloody KNEW it! Tell me everything!"

Oscar hated that for the two days he spent with his parents, his mind was on the woman he'd left behind. Especially when she'd hinted that she was out on the prowl. Not that she was a predatory woman, quite the opposite. But he was jealous...he knew that, the realisation had hit him like a tidal wave. He couldn't ever remember feeling jealous of anything; he'd always been so content.

Now, he was sleeping in his childhood bedroom, fantasising about a woman that he was having teenage emotions over. It was ridiculous. But he also knew that everything she said was correct. He wasn't being fair to her, and he had to make her see, and hope she believed that he was serious about all this. He wanted her in his life, and not temporarily. A hugely scary thought, but one he was having to accept, because he'd never been as captivated as he was with Lizzie Breen.

When he woke the next morning he had to get back to her as quickly as he could, he had to talk to her.

"So?"

Vicky watched her from across the table of the café where they were waiting for breakfast. For two nights and the days in between, they hadn't ventured far from the topic of her mixed up relationship with Oscar.

Lizzie sighed, "you think I should stop worrying about the future and throw myself into this with him."

Vicky sipped at her coffee, "I'm not saying that. But you haven't as much as looked at a man since university."

"You mean since I found out that words meant nothing!" She laughed dryly. "Even if that man...hadn't cheated on me, if I hadn't found him in bed, MY bed, with the equivalent of bloody Krystal, I still wouldn't think this is a good thing."

Vicky sighed, "I know, it would be awkward when it ended...but it might not."

She laughed, hard, "there is no way on this earth that anything with Oscar Wicker is going to be anything permanent."

"I get that..." she paused as their breakfasts were laid in front of them. "But the alternative is to live in limbo, live with the guy...every day...and not explore what that means. Sounds like torture. Especially if it was as good as your blushes indicate."

Lizzie wasn't one to share intimate details, but her friend knew her well. She'd left out the details of how he'd overwhelmed her, dedicated himself to her pleasure...which was beyond anything she'd ever experienced. But her blushes seemed to regularly give her away. She sighed, "damned if I do...damned if I don't."

She nodded, "if you were more like me you'd just do it, but you've never thrown caution to the wind...I don't mean that critically, but you always do the right thing Lizzie. What about doing the...I don't know...the fanciful thing for a change?"

All the way home on the train, she thought about that, about doing what she really wanted. Could she? She had always lived in her sister's shadow, always been second best, and had spent her life picking up the pieces for others. Being indulgent, going with her instincts, well it wasn't something that that she did. This didn't feel any different. Oscar's attitude, the fact that he so openly wanted her, well it summed him up. No consequences, doing what he wanted...he was so different to her.

She knew that to quote Newton's third rule of motion was a little contrite, but every action did have an equal and opposite reaction. And that was what scared her. She could walk away from Oscar, she'd had worse to do...but she wouldn't and couldn't walk away from Nate.

His car was there. She didn't expect them to be back so quickly. It was lunchtime; she thought that Oscar would spend as much time as possible with his parents. But he was inside...and she had to deal with him. But Vicky's words echoed around her head as she walked up to the front door.

The hallway was empty, so she dumped her bag and kicked off her shoes. The lounge was empty too. She was about to call out, when the kitchen door opened and Oscar stood there. Immediately she felt the heat in his eyes, the tension, the electricity was there. And she wasn't sure she could fight it.

"Good weekend?"

She nodded, "nice to have a break...it's been a long time."

Oscar gave a subtle nod, his eyes never leaving hers, "find 'any talent'."

She gulped, nervous, then shook her head, "not really."

"Good."

He stepped towards her, she bit her bottom lip as his eyes ran over her face and he closed the distance between them. "Because I couldn't stop thinking about that...all weekend." She gulped again, he was too close, his voice too husky.

She stepped back, but he followed, close enough that the smell of him wafted through her, but far enough that he wasn't threatening, wasn't invading her personal space.

"Thinking that another man might get his hands on you, touch you..." he reached out and ran his fingers over her cheek. She shuddered, with excitement, her body alive at just that touch, and he continued in his hypnotic voice, "...taste you...make you smile. I can't have that Lizzie, because I want to be the one to do those things. No one else."

His fingers slid into her hair, his forehead almost touched hers and she could barely focus over the pounding of her heart.

"You think I don't get it, but I do...this is serious shit, we've got so much to take into account." He gave a half laugh, "but I can't let this go...I haven't felt jealous since I was in school...maybe not even then...."

She swallowed again, her throat so dry she was unable to form words.

"So I'm going to do whatever it takes to prove that I'm serious...no cheap shots, no sneaky touches..."

"I...er..." she tried to formulate words, a defence, an agreement...she didn't know.

He smiled, his face to close to hers, "I want to kiss you...so much. But the ball's in your court now. It has to be you."

His lips swept close to hers, so close, then with a groan he pulled back and moved away from her. She closed her eyes; leaning back against the wall she was grateful of the firmness as she wasn't sure her legs would hold her. After several deep breaths, she opened her eyes to see the room was empty.