Chapter Seventeen

Nate sat at the breakfast bar eating some ridiculously coloured sugary cereal with enthusiasm the following morning, Lizzie watched him nursing a mug of coffee. She was going to tell him, about Oscar. It was just a question of how to slot that into a conversation. He hadn't talked about Janis for a few days, and it broke Lizzie's heart that he would never remember her, not really. There were photos, but he wouldn't remember her other than that. How heartbreaking, poor Janis, she'd never see him grow up, finish school, work, marry...become a father...Janis would never be a granny. That was tragic.

He needed to know that he wasn't alone, that people loved him, suddenly that was so important.

"I love this," he said breaking the silence, holding a spoon of the pink and blue concoction up to her for examination.

She grinned, "you're very lucky."

"And Coop said he'd take me and Elena skating."

Lizzie nodded, "you are very lucky."

Giving a nod, he smiled, "he takes Elena every week."

There it was the perfect 'in'.

"Do you wish you went every week?" When he shrugged in a very non-committal way, she smiled, "do you wish you had a Dad who'd do that with you?"

There was that unadulterated, uncontrolled moment when his eyes lit up with pleasure, but that was quickly schooled back to nonchalance. Already at less than five years old he had learned to control his response. Had he asked his mother about his father a lot? He was inquisitive, and Janis hadn't told her who his father was. At the moment her heart bled for the little fella.

"What if I told you that your father loves you VERY much?"

His eyes lit up, "you know my father?"

She nodded, "I do. Does that make you happy?"

Biting his lip he nodded, "yes. Will he play football with me? Be the goalie like Brandon's Dad does?"

She chuckled, "I think he'd love that, and he'd like to teach you to skate too."

"Can I meet him?"

She took a deep breath, here goes everything. "You've met your father darling. It's Oscar." His mouth dropped open for a moment as she clarified, "he has always loved you, but he didn't know where you were until recently."

He stared at her, "until Mum died."

Lizzie blinked at the tears furiously, "yes sweetheart. How does that make you feel?"

"I like him." He smiled at her and she knew that this was the right thing to do. The future was never going to be easy, but this felt right.

"And he really likes you. Are you sure that this feels ok?"

He nodded, "can I have some more cereal?"

As she refilled his bowl she marvelled at the adaptability of children, there would be questions, issues, but for now he was happy to take it all in his stride.

They were dressed when Coop knocked the door.

"Roads are clear, so we're going skating; you still want to come champ?"

Nate's eyes were wide as he nodded, so Coop turned to Lizzie, "you ready in ten minutes?"

When she nodded he departed, leaving Lizzie to get them both 'snow-ready'.

Coop's huge SUV made light work of the mainly cleared roads, and Lizzie couldn't help but notice that Britain would have ground to a halt with just a fraction of the snow this town had. The ice rink was across town, as far as she could work out, and had a huge gravel car park that hadn't been completely cleared. Coop ignored all the spaces and headed for a place near the door that said 'manager' . She looked up at him and he laughed.

"I'm a player/coach for the team here, the perk being a parking space."

"I'm impressed!"

He laughed, "I'm glad someone is!"

They piled out and tramped into the rink, Coop and Elena had their own skates, and as he was welcomed like the local celebrity that he obviously was, Lizzie took Nate to get some skates from the hire desk. She remembered skating as a child, and how bloody painful the rink issued skates were, these seemed no different. She had no intention of skating, but she feared for Nate's poor little feet.

She'd just got his new snow boots off, and a voice to her left said, "those aren't good enough."

They both turned to see Oscar stood there with a small pair of brand new skates in his hands. Nate's eyes lit up as he watched Oscar lace the slick black skates onto his feet, she noticed that Oscar was already wearing a pair of skates too.

He gave her a quick smile, before leading Nate out on to the ice. Lizzie bit her lip, she had no idea if Nate had taken in the gravity of their discussion earlier, he had accepted her declaration without questions, and now he had his hands linked with Oscar's as they moved rather woodenly on the ice. She lowered herself into a seat on the bleachers to watch.

Coop was whizzing around so confidently, with Elena beside him, almost as confident on the ice and she was on land. He waved when he spotted her, then scooped Elena up under the arms and swung her around. She laughed out loud, and waved back. And at that moment she spotted Nate trying a few glides by himself, under the watchful gaze of Oscar. When he did it, skated, albeit a small distance, they hi-fived, then hugged. It was so sweet to see them so close. Then Oscar's face froze and he dropped down beside Nate and they talked urgently.

The change in tension instantly made her worried, had something gone wrong? She made to stand, but froze as Oscar's eyes met her. She couldn't read the expression on his face, anger, and pain...so many things.

So Nate really did understand their earlier conversation.

They were across the ice, talking, intently. Suddenly she felt in the way, and didn't want to face Oscar. She knew he'd be angry...she hadn't discussed it with him, but then he had been ignoring her for large parts of the previous day. Coop was circling the ice and approaching where she sat, so she jumped up and rushed over to him.

"I'm going to leave you boys here...now that Oscar's here. I'll head back..."

He glanced at Oscar, then at her, far too astute for a man, "It's too far to walk. I'll get Freya to pick you up. Ok?"

She smiled at him, "you are one of the greatest men I've ever met."

He laughed, "I doubt that very much, but I know when someone needs to escape. Go."

Then he skated off.

She was at the end of the driveway, when the familiar red car pulled up alongside her. Freya grinned as she pulled over.

"What's up? You feeling ok?"

She climbed into the passenger seat and sighed, "yes."

Freya hit the gas and started the journey home before she spoke again. "You look white...like a ghost."

"Something like that." She looked down at her hands, entwining her fingers nervously. "I just need some space."

Freya nodded knowingly, "I can drop you off somewhere."

She shrugged, "can we just go back, I can lock myself in my room for a while."

She asked no further questions, just drove home. Lizzie was almost in her lounge before Freya had retrieved Riley from his seat in the rear of the car.

Door locked, she slid down it to the floor and started to cry.

Oscar watched Nate skate the ten or fifteen yards to Coop with pride, he was already a natural, and the pride filled him to the brim. But nothing eclipsed the moment when he'd called him 'Dad'. He'd taken his first solo steps, then gushed, "I did it Dad!"

Oscar had felt as though his heart, if not the world had stopped. It took a moment to steady himself, then he squatted down level with Nate and said, "what?"

Nate had smiled, "Aunty Lizzie said you were my father...can I call you Dad?"

As his mind whirled unable to fathom those words and the implications he nodded, "of course you can. Are you ok?"

He nodded, "can we skate more?"

The boy had no idea of the implications of his words; he looked up to see Lizzie watching them anxiously. She hadn't discussed this, she'd done it herself...it was all that he wanted, but he hated that it caught him off guard, that he wasn't prepared for that conversation. He couldn't smile, couldn't reassure that it was all ok. When he'd next looked her way, she was gone.

Now half an hour later, he stood opposite Coop, watching Nate and Elena skate between the two of them his thoughts were a million miles from there.

As they changed out of their skates, Coop glanced at him.

"What?" he snapped.

Coop raised his hands in a 'don't shoot me' gesture, and they returned to tying shoelaces and helping on with jackets.

"You wanna get some lunch?" Coop asked as they left the building.

"I need to find Lizzie..."

Coop patted him on the back, "Freya picked her up earlier. She looked unwell. Freya text to say she's gone to bed. So we may as well give her some space."

Oscar wanted to punch something, so she was running away? Was that the answer?

He was furious, but he knew that confronting her now would be the wrong thing. So he nodded, agreeing to follow Coop to a fast food place that he knew the kids would love.

Freya was like Mother Nature, she loved having the kids around, Nate just added more to the mix, but it didn't faze her. Once the older two were set with paints at the table, she sent Coop to the supermarket as there was more snow predicted and she liked to be prepared.

"When I comeback, me and Oscar are going to the bar, don't even try to change that," he grumbled as he made for the door. She merely fluttered her eyelashes at him, innocently, but as the door closed she turned on Oscar.

"What the fuck have you done to Lizzie?"

He gasped, Freya never swore, as he floundered, she added, "that girl looked a wreck, she could barely look at me when I picked her up, and when I tried to follow her, all I could hear was her sobbing. I ask again, what have you done, Oscar?"

He ran a hand through his hair, he had glared at her, he had been angry. He still was. But he said he'd not hurt her, and that was the first thing that he'd done. He was scowling, he knew that, but yet again he floundered around the topic.

"I haven't done anything to her."

Freya rolled her eyes, "so she's crying why?"

He punched the work surface in frustration, "this isn't my fault, Frey." He paced for a minute, then turned to his sister who was stood waiting there, "he called me Dad..." He hissed the words at her, "she told him...and didn't tell me. Who the fuck does that?"

Freya sighed, "he knows? That's amazing, congratulations Daddy!"

When she gave him a hug, he glared at her, "really?"

She stared back at him, "this is what you wanted, you've been angry that he doesn't know who you are, now you're angry that he DOES?"

"She didn't tell me about it, we didn't discuss this..."

"Did you ask her why? There is probably a really good reason why she told him when she did..."

He shook his head, "she could have text me, phoned me, told me when I turned up at the rink."

"Did you tell her you were going to be at the rink?"

He shrugged, "I am juggling a lot of things here, Frey, Give me a break."

She laughed, "the same break you are giving her? Because she's got a ton more things to juggle than you. Stop being so self obsessed."

Freya had been nothing but supportive since this happened, since she found out about Nate, and she had no reason to, after all he'd kept it all from her for two years. But she accepted him, Nate and all the shit that brought, she'd even welcomed the three of them into her home. And now she was shouting at him.

He walked off and sat in the corner of the room watching the two youngsters paint and laugh, and Freya supervise as she moved around the house. He felt frustrated, useless...and like he needed some answers.

"The spare keys are hanging up in the cloakroom, labelled 'garage apartment'."

He looked up at his sister sat across the room, then with a snarl, he snatched at the keys and his coat and headed outside.