A/N WOW! Loving the love for the last chapter! Keep it up guys, hope you love this one too...not an easy place for either of them!

Chapter Forty Five

Lizzie threw herself onto the bed, face down in the pillows, praying that they'd hide the sound of her sobs. All that she'd feared had come true. THe very moment that she put her heart into things, the very moment that she let down her last defence, he hurt her, thrust the knife into her heart and twisted it a dozen times. She was broken.

But tomorrow she HAD to get up and deal with Nate, pretend that his father hadn't broken her heart. But she was nothing if not a good actress, she'd been in worse situations where she had to suck it up, and she'd do it again, but tonight...tonight she was going to cry like a baby. It wouldn't make things any easier, but she might feel a bit better for it when the morning came around.

Oscar couldn't dwell on how upset Lizzie seemed, Krystal had turned the waterworks on at the drop of a hat, he wasn't going to fall for that again. He was angry, she could blame her sister, she could argue, but he wasn't about to fall for it. She had denied him, denied him his role as father, she COULD have made things better, and he wasn't going to fall for it.

He paced the house, restless. It was silent upstairs, Lizzie so upset that she'd gone straight to sleep. He fumed, his fingers curling into fists, desperate to punch something, the wall, a door. Something to take away the pain. She'd hurt him, she'd let him down and he felt as though he was sinking in quicksand, with every step, hands clawing, dragging him down.

He couldn't stay there.

Grabbing his coat, he headed for the car. He could sleep at the hotel. Once he'd drunk himself into oblivion.

Oscar rolled over, the room slowly coming into focus, and rued the previous night. He glanced at his phone, out of charge. Plugging it in, he headed for the shower, he needed to sort himself out, that was a given. Clean he felt a little better, but the aftermath of his actions left a bitter taste in his mouth.

His phone had been off since he'd met with his solicitor...when it all changed. There were many missed calls, mainly from Lizzie, but there were a few this morning from his sister. Looking at the clock he realised it was almost midday...a disaster.

Groaning, he ignored the texts, and the answer phone message, instead he called his sister. Several calls meant something was wrong, so he dialled a little anxiously. The rest he'd deal with later.

"Hey Frey," he offered a little more enthusiastically than he felt when she answered.

"Oscar Stephen Wicker! What the HELL are you playing at?"

He groaned, the last thing he needed was his little sister treating him like a naughty school boy. Before he could reply, she carried on, "I have been sat awake ALL night waiting for morning in your time zone to tell you my news!"

"You're pregnant again?" He offered when she took a breath.

He heard her grunt, "No! Coop has been offered a coaching job, for a year trial at a hockey team...in Manchester. Can you believe that?"

He tried to process that, "you're coming here? That's amazing!"

"Well I THOUGHT it was, that's until I spoke to Lizzie. I don't know what's wrong, but she sounded so awful that I couldn't even share my news. She said nothing, only that you weren't there; she wasn't sure where you were. Then as she hung up I heard her cry...she CRIED Oscar, actually sobbed. What the hell have you done to her?"

He closed his eyes and collapsed back onto the bed, "why do I have to have done anything?"

That was met with a snort, "because I know you, and I know broken hearted. What have you done to her?"

He sighed, amazed at the tears welling in his own eyes, "she lied to me, Frey."

Another snort, "that girl is besotted with you, and she's heartbroken."

"She had made it harder to be recognised as Nate's dad, that's the most important thing, and she's put a spanner in the works. How can I forgive her for that?"

Freya was silent for a moment, "she told you about Nate, you hadn't known where he was. She let you move it, she came to ours cos it was what you wanted...that doesn't sound like someone who is trying to slow or influence your relationship with Nate."

"You don't believe me?"

She sighed, "I believe that you believe it. But I think you need to take stock. She's a good girl..."

"Who is manipulating me. After all we've been through, all I want is the truth...and she deliberately lied...sucked me in, found my weak spot...it's ME that's hurt here. Not her."

When she laughed out loud, he wanted to hang up, "Oh Oscar, it's hard isn't it?"

"What?" He snapped.

"Falling in love...for the first time. I hated it and doubted myself too."

He shook his head, even though she couldn't see it, "I'm not falling in love. Don't be so bloody ridiculous!"

She laughed again, "wow, you sound like Coop did. He wouldn't admit it either. Listen, you've always been in control, maybe for the first time you are out of your depth. But think about this, whatever you think of Lizzie, she has your son's best interests at heart. Cut her some slack, and take a look in the mirror, cos you're still the same man, even if you feel different."

His mouth opened, but nothing came out, and Freya laughed again, "take care big bro; I'll call you later and fill you in on the travel details, now go grovel...before it's too late."

Oscar stared at the phone for a long time, then he picked it up and connected to his answer phone. Lizzie, the previous night. Sounding terrified, she'd worried that he'd suffered the same fate as her sister. She sounded sad, worried, but hopeful too. Then he'd marched in and torn that up.

Was he wrong? She'd fought their relationship so hard, for so long that he was almost waiting for the next time that she was going to run away...instead it was he that had done that. Holed up in the hotel, not even giving her the time to explain.

He thought to all that Freya had said, did he love her? Is that what this was?

Picking up his phone, her redialled Freya, "does it hurt this much?"

She giggled, "you mean love? It can do, until you tell her, till you are honest with each other, then it's amazing, I promise."

Shopping was a poor substitute for happiness, but spoiling Nate was the only thing that took her mind off the mess that her life had become. She'd tried to keep him at arm's length, but he'd pushed and pushed...and now he'd hurt her, more than anyone else ever had. The pain in her heart was physical, real, and she staggered and grabbed a doorway to hold herself up.

Her parents had hurt her, but then she's managed to deal with that, it hadn't been one huge blow, it had been a slow drip feed since she was a kid. Her ex boyfriend, he hadn't hurt her in the same way.

Because you didn't love him. That reality hit her like a sledgehammer, she'd fought falling in love, she had avoided getting close to anyone as she didn't want this pain. But it was there, breaking her into pieces. There was a coffee shop across the road, so she made her way there, then almost collapsed into seat. Coffee didn't change anything, but it gave her chance to regroup, so get her emotions in check.

Back at the house, everything seemed so real again, the food from the previous night sat in the fridge gloating at her for bothering to make an effort. The prospectus for the university programme the same. Opening the kitchen bin, she tipped the food into it, then ripped up the prospectus with a roar and tossed that in too. With a grunt of satisfaction she slammed the lid, then turned away from it...to see Oscar watching her from the doorway.

She froze, for a moment she drank in the sight of him, then the pain, the hurt all came flashing back and she stepped backwards, away from him. He frowned for a moment.

"You just threw dinner in the bin?"

She shrugged, unable to formulate a response.

He took a deep breath, "can we talk?"

She shook her head, "too late."

Then she marched past him and almost ran upstairs.

In the bathroom her heart pounded, her brain worked overtime, but her pain became anger. How dare he walk in and ask her to talk...after his one way accusations the previous evening. She was right in what she had said, the first test, the first potential time to doubt her, and he'd dived in with both feet. She should have explained about the guardianship, at some point, but it wasn't as though she purposely kept it from him.

Taking several deep breaths, she opened the door, she wouldn't hide from him, she'd done nothing wrong.

He was sat in the lounge, on the sofa, his eyes trained on the door. But she didn't flinch at his gaze, instead she started to tidy up, as she'd intended. When she glanced back at him, she saw the two halves of the university book in front of him.

"You're going back to school?"

She shrugged, reaching for the pile of mail that sat on the table, "thinking about it."

It had been detrimental to have his support to do it, now she wasn't sure about anything.

"It's a good idea."

She gave shrug, then walked through to the kitchen, sorting the mail into important and junk piles.

He followed her, "are you going to ignore me forever?"

Again she shrugged, keeping her back to him. When he reached for her, grabbed her arm, she brushed him off with a screech.

"Don't touch me! You have no right to touch me, to talk to me...just leave me alone."

He sighed, but didn't back off, so she glared at him, "I'm sorry. I know that's not enough. But I am."

Again she shrugged and he ran a hand through his hair, "Jeez, Lizzie, please say something...anything...just don't shrug."

She laughed, "fuck off? How does that sound?"

"Deserved. Will you let me explain, please?"

She shook her head, "I don't give a shit what you have to say, so just leave me alone."

It was his turn to shake his head, "I don't believe that. You are upset, because of me. If you didn't care, then you'd not be upset."

"Don't tell me how to feel, how to be...you are nothing to me."

He reached for her as she tried to escape, "liar!"

She lashed out, hit him in the shoulder, "get off me."

"Not until you hear me out."

She shook her head manically, pushing him away, but he wasn't giving up, his hands gripped her arms firmly. "Lizzie, please."

"I told you this was dangerous, that we had no future as a couple, but you didn't believe me, if you'd told me that you were going to start legal shit for Nate, then I'd have told you that I had become his guardian...but if failing to tell the complete truth is lying, then you are equally as much a manipulative liar."

He stepped back at that, and stared down at her, and after a long moment, he nodded, "you're right." He ran his hands through his hair, "you really think this can't work?"

She nodded, "Nate is more important than you and me."

"So you don't think we can work this out?" When she shook her head, he shrugged, "I disagree...for the record. How the hell are we meant to be parents if we can't deal with this?"

"This is what I warned you of," she hissed through her teeth. "This is how you screw up life and relationships; this is how everything goes tits up for cheap meaningless sex."

Oscar's eyes widened, "cheap? Meaningless?" He shook his head, "that's bullshit, and you know it. You can say you want nothing else, but please don't try and downplay what had happened between us, because it was anything BUT meaningless."

"You may think that...but it's over."

Her heart was racing, her knees shaking, her whole body wanted to comply, wanted to sob in his arms, but she had to think of Nate, there was no way that she was giving in to him ever again. The whole thing was toxic and she needed to get away from him, put some space back between them. She hated that she had let down her defences, whatever happened, she was going to be heartbroken, and now she had no surety that she'd be able to keep Nate in her life.

"I can't agree with you, Lizzie. I really want this to work."

Lizzie shook her head, "no way can we do that. I think we need to see out solicitors and work out something legally binding."

With a sigh she turned and left him speechless.