Chapter Five

They'd created at least five different loops with the wooden train set that Nate had pulled out when Oscar had walked in the house. Two bridges, one either side of the TV stand, a forest under the dining table, and several sets of points between the two. Nate was grinning as he slid a variety of well loved wooden trains along the tracks, making the cutest 'chuff-chuff' sounds that melted Oscar's heart. He sat back on his heels and couldn't wipe the smile off his face. When he looked up, Lizzie was stood in the doorway watching them play, and her face was a mask of emotions. None of which he could make out easily.

He offered her a half smile, and she reciprocated, "there's only so many times you can play with a train set in a day...or week."

"You spend a lot of time with him."

He pulled himself up into standing and took the glass of wine she offered with a smile.

Lizzie was silent for a moment, watching Nate play, "Janis worked a lot, weekends...evenings...hospitality runs at those hours."

"So you were left holding my baby."

It was a deliberate play on terms and he watched her cheeks flush anxiously, "it wasn't...I didn't..."

He laughed, "that was my attempt at a joke...a bad one."

She stared at him for a long moment, then nodded, "dinner will be about half an hour. You want to wind up the playing in fifteen minutes? Wash hands?"

He grinned then gave her a salute, before turning back to the intriguing train game.

Nate was giggling as he let Oscar help him with dinner and it both warmed Lizzie's heart and sent a cloud of dread through her. Already they were best friends in just a few days, and the thought of Nate moving on...the pain was almost physical in its intensity. Instead of talking, she sat wallowing in her self pity...and drinking wine. She'd had a few glasses and was starting to feel a little tipsy.

And it was at that point that her phone rang...her parents. Not what she wanted, but she couldn't put it off anymore. They were anticipating a funeral back in their village, Janis had planned for it here, in the suburb of Manchester that they lived in. This was a fight she wouldn't lose, but she knew it wouldn't be easy.

"I just need to take this call..." she excused herself as she put the phone to her ear and left the room. "Hi Mum."

"Lizzie, Father Matthews has said he's more than happy to perform the funeral service, and give Janis a full catholic mass. Even though she turned her back on the faith."

She tried to swallow the grief, the anger and the anxiety that seemed to accompany each other so frequently. She seemed to have a permanent lump in her throat, but she couldn't let that influence this, her parents were used to emotionally bullying her. This was a time when she couldn't lose. Her sister wanted what her sister wanted. She wasn't about to forget that.

"The catholic church can't afford to turn the trade away." Before her mother could respond in a hurt way, she added, "but there's no need. Janis has left her funeral plans. She wants the crematorium, a few miles away, and a non religious funeral."

Screeching and wailing along the phone line almost deafened her, but rather than enter into a verbal war, she hung up.

Standing there, it took several long minutes until she even began to feel ready to return to Nate and Oscar. Her head was pounding, her heart pumping as though she'd run a marathon...and the prickles of the tears that were constantly threatening her eyes. All because she stood up to her mother, finally.

Oscar opened the door to the kitchen, despite there being no response to his gently knock. And his breath almost caught in his throat. Lizzie stood there, her head tipped down, tears coursing down her cheeks. He was continually invading in her grief, maybe he should step away, give them all some time to get used to recent events. But as he watched her, he knew that he couldn't.

She lifted her eyes having sensed him enter the room and gave him a sad smile, "sorry. Family...you know how it is."

He nodded, "Nate wanted a bath...I'd do it...but I'm trying to pace this out, you know. Do things right."

She swiped at her cheeks, "of course. Thank you."

As she made to pass him, to help her nephew, he reached out and grabbed her arm. When she looked up at him he felt so desperately sad for her, "do you want me to leave? I can't be helping with all this."

"You have every right to be here. It's just..."

He sighed feeling her pain, "I don't know I'd cope if my sister died...she means so much to me."

Her eyes filled with tears as she bit her lip and nodded in agreement. As the grief defeated her once again, he did the only thing that he felt he could, he pulled her into his arms. He thought she'd fight that, but she didn't she collapsed against him, face into his shirt, and he could feel the tears wet through the cotton.

He knew nothing about this woman, but he felt her pain, and he only wished he could help her. Instead he held her for what felt like a very long time.

When she pulled back, she blushed, embarrassed.

"You ok?" He left his hands on her arms, but she was quick to step away from him.

"Sorry...I shouldn't have done that."

"Done what? You're allowed to be upset. It's normal."

She grimaced, wiping at her face, "I need to find Nate."

And with that she was gone, and Oscar was left wondering if it had really happened. Then he looked down and saw the damp patch on his shirt.

Nate's needs took over Lizzie's consciousness and her small breakdown in the kitchen was pushed aside. She hoped that Oscar had gone as he had the previous night and scarpered, because she wasn't in the mood to meet him later. She was just about up to collapsing on the sofa in a darkened room with some shit reruns on TV, that was as far as she was wanting to go.

Clean, in pj's, Nate flew into bed, and looked up at Lizzie...and there were tears once again in his eyes.

"Gruffalo?" She asked.

He shook his head in response, "can we have 'Going on a Bear Hunt' instead?"

Lizzie's heart broke all over again, he was trying to be brave, but there were times when he wanted his mother more than anything. Sighing, she slipped under the covers next to him and read the story, but he was still sad, still had tear stained cheeks when he finally fell asleep curled up beside her.

Lizzie felt exhausted when she left his room; it was still only four days since her sister had died, she had the funeral to deal with, and the whole as yet unspoken about custody battle. She wanted to bundle up her belongings and go on a long holiday with Nate, away from everything that was draining her last ounce of energy.

As she entered the hallway, she could hear noise in the kitchen, and her heart sank. She needed space, alone time. Throwing open the door, she was about to open her mouth and ask him to leave, when she took in the room. Ever plate and spoon was washed, the cheesecake she'd bought for dessert was on the dining table, along with their two wine glasses.

Oscar was at the sink scrubbing the lasagne dish - not a job for the weak.

"I thought you'd want to share that cheesecake. It's too much for one." He offered when he noticed she'd joined him.

He didn't mention her breakdown, and he wasn't trying to 'be sympathetic', he was opening a dessert he wanted to share after attacking baked on cheese remains on a dish. She could cope with a glass of wine and her fave sweet. So she pulled out a seat and sat down, letting him wait on her.

"So how was he going to sleep tonight?"

The one topic guaranteed to make her cry, "not great, he chose a different book...first time in months. It's obviously too upsetting for him. He fell asleep with tears still on his cheeks."

Oscar ran a hand through his hair, "poor bugger. I really feel for him. Is there anything I can do to help?"

She shrugged, "pretending it isn't happening won't help him. I mean he went to school, he's doing as normal as a routine as possible. It's all we can do."

Oscar nodded, but when she looked up he was staring at her a half smile on his face.

"What is it?"

It was his turn to shrug, "I'm just amazed at how you are putting him first, above everything else." When she looked flustered at that, he sighed, "I don't mean that in any way other than I am in awe of you. I haven't seen Janis in years, and I feel grief for that little man, but she's your sister, and you just put that on hold."

"I don't have a choice Oscar. He is SO important...we get it...he doesn't."

He toyed with the slice of dessert on his plate, "until my sister had kids I had no clue."

She laid down her fork, "will you tell me about them? Your family. I mean I called a US number, but you're British?"

Oscar sighed with relief; this was an easy topic, family, his life...anything but that poor little boy and this brave woman's grief, "well. Yes. I'm from near Reading. But I moved to the States years ago. I work for a big hotel chain and we're based in the North East. I live not far from the Canadian border in upstate New York. Have been there a few years."

"The hotel, that's how you met Janis?"

He nodded then smiled wistfully, "I was in Hawaii, and she was a British voice in a hotel full of Yanks. It seemed like so long since I'd heard one. We got talking, whilst I was at work, then we met later..."

"She always got what she wanted."

He laughed at that, "I think it was pretty mutual. She was fun, and I hadn't had fun in ages, not like that, not like her. I didn't know that Nate was...you know...created."

"She was always the life and soul of any party. That's why it feels so...wrong...that she's gone."

He reached across the table and took her hand, "don't think like that, you can't."

"So your sister has children?"

Safe. He wanted to sigh with relief at the change of topic. "Yes. She married my best friend...that wasn't easy I can tell you. But they had a little girl Elena, she's almost two, and then Riley is what..." he mentally calculated, "four months old. Something like that. They're amazing..." He gulped, "as is Nate. He's a credit to Janis...and you."

That made Lizzie blush, so he immediately added, "Lizzie, I can see how close you two are, you and Nate, that isn't a new or temporary thing."

She sighed, "Janis worked in a bar, the odd hotel, but it was always on an opposite shift to me, weekends, evenings. Me and Nate have done a lot together."

"I don't want to threaten that Lizzie."

She sighed, "unless you plan to relocate to Manchester this will seem someone heartbroken."

He really hadn't thought about the big picture, the future. He was here to get to know Nate, now suddenly it was so much more. As he watched the emotions cross Lizzie's face, for the first time he realised that this could end up being a fight with Nate as the prize.