Chapter Eleven

Lizzie looked at her reflection in the mirror, the only bonus to the death of your sister was losing about eight pound. She'd never be slim, but she looked a little better than usual. Only to be modelling the plain black dress she'd selected for her sister's funeral. Every time she paired the word sister with funeral she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. But it didn't. It was another round of pain and devastation.

Her GP told her that her grief would get easier, that there was medication to help her sleep, counsellors to talk to. But she had to get through this day. Then she could take things on, work on how to not lose Nate. But that was after this day. She pulled on the black stockings that hid the legs that were unshaven - it was winter, and straightened her dress in the mirror.

Presentable. She'd had the hair and makeup debate several times over the last two weeks, and she'd decided on simple, basic. Her hair was pulled back in to a French pleat, and she wore the silver earrings that Janis had bought her for Christmas. Less than six weeks ago...and it had all been so much fun, so normal...everything had been so easy. She could never have predicted that she'd be stood here, about to attend the funeral that she'd just organised for her sister.

A knock at the door disturbed her. Her parents were due, and she was filled with complete dread at that. She wasn't sure she'd ever be free of the pressure that they placed her under, even today. Sliding on her black heels, she descended the stairs a little more anxiously than was healthy, and that was due to what was waiting downstairs than the unfamiliar heels.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the front door open, and then almost dissolved in relief to find Oscar on the doorstep. He was in an impeccable black suit, fitted to the contours of his body. A body she'd seen at close range a few days earlier when he'd offered to take Nate swimming. She was going to go into the pool with them, but as they reached the car park, she lost her nerve. She wasn't exactly swimming costume ready, so instead she watched from the café alongside.

Nate whooped as Oscar chased him through the shallows, then called out to her as they swam together, but her lasting memory was of Nate, sat on Oscar's shoulders as he emerged from the shallow end, water coursing off his body in rivers. She'd almost expected some sort of cheesy music to start playing as the moment was like a commercial for some lavish aftershave.

Instead she was left to realise that she was ogling his hair spattered chest, the trail over his flat abs...to the low slung shorts.

"Aunty Lizzie?"

Nate's voice had caused her to blush, and as she lifted her eyes to meet theirs, fully aware she wasn't listening to them, Oscar was staring at her smugly.

Since that moment, she'd avoided being alone with Oscar. He scared her; or rather she was scared of how he made her feel. That was without the whole threat to her future with Nate dilemma. He was dangerous and she needed to keep her distance from him, keep up her guard and not be wrong footed.

But now, he was on her doorstep, and was her knight in shining armour. And she felt relief, which was against everything that she had warned herself of.

"Hey," he smiled at her, but it wasn't a real smile. She was glad of that. He looked amazing in his black suit; his shirt was snowy white, matching his straight teeth.

"Hey," she offered back. "I thought you were my parents..."

At that she let out a sigh of relief, and he chuckled, "thanks to them you're glad to see me. I'll take it!"

"It's not like that..." his smile told her he was winding her up. "Don't tell them who you are, not yet."

"You mean Nate's father."

She saw him shudder as he said the words, he hadn't had the opportunity to be a father yet, it was all still new to him. Sighing she gave him a nod, "they won't be favourable, and I don't need the hassle today."

"I haven't done anything wrong, not really," he protested.

She nodded, "I know that, but neither have I. She was some sort of enigma to them, and you didn't do right by her in their eyes. God only knows what she told them about you. She came home from a ten year trip with a two year old...it almost broke them."

She could see his reluctance so she added, "tomorrow you can say and do what you want, I just really need you to think of how hard this all is...I don't need them taking all the limelight...and they will..."

She was close to tears already, the first time of the day...well since she'd got dressed. His response was to pull her into his arms and kiss the top of her head, "didn't I tell you I'd hold them at bay today. I will. I want to make this easier for you, as easy as it can be. Ok?"

Her heart pounded at that, for a moment she felt that security, that comfort that he instantly instilled in her. Instead of gushing as her hormones wanted her to, she gave a nod, "thanks Oscar. That means a lot."

Tension sat between them for a moment, and neither spoke, until the doorbell rang again.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped past him and towards the door, and the looming silhouettes of her parents.

Oscar couldn't make out Lizzie's parents. Diane and Trevor seemed fairly normal from the outside. Demure and appropriate for their daughter's funeral. When the car with the coffin arrived at the door, Diane broke down in tears, as did Lizzie, but there was no warmth or support in her direction. Once again Oscar was glad that he was there to hold her up, wipe her tears, and be that shoulder for her to lean on. At the church he held her hand as the eulogy was read, as a family friend talked about the wild child she'd been. It was a true celebration of her life, he'd only known her for a few days, but he got the true sense of the woman that Janis had been from the service.

"It was perfect," he leaned in and whispered to her as the curtains closed, taking Janis away from them. She bit her lip trying to control her emotion, but then broke down, wailing into his shoulder. A little later, outside in the ironic sunshine, she leaned into him.

"Thank you for being there today, I was dreading being alone. I thought..." she glanced at her parents who were now holding court, the centre of attention, not a thought for their daughter.

"I feel a little awkward being in the family seats..."

She shook her head cutting him off, "don't think like that. You are family. You and Nate."

Her sad smile broke his heart, and all he could do was squeeze her to his side.

Half an hour later, the local pub had opened their function room for refreshments. When the family car dropped them there, there were quite a few people gathered, mainly friends or both Janis and Lizzie.

Lizzie dropped her hand from his elbow and marched across the room, to the bar.

"Can I have a red wine please...and a vodka tonic...for my sister, please?"

Oscar appeared at her side, and he tried to pay for the drinks, but she shook her head.

"I need to do this...the last thing I can do for her Oscar. Please."

She paid for the drink, then pulled up a stool to the bar and sat with the drink beside her, "this is where we'd sit on the rare Saturday night we got out together." She sipped her wine, then looked up at him, "she'd always disappear with some man or another...but we started the night here."

He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a nod, "she'd appreciate the drink, I'm sure."

Mr and Mrs Breen then arrived, he didn't know where they'd been, but immediately they started to skirt the room, seeming to draw on the sympathy that they were getting from each other. When they didn't make it to Lizzie's side in a few minutes, she jumped and excused herself to the bathroom.

Oscar watched her disappear, then felt a sharp tap to his upper arm. Turning he came face-to-face with a scowling Vicky.

"Hey best friend," he offered knowing that her arriving late to the funeral had upset him more than it had Lizzie.

Her scowl deepened, "hey 'digging my way right into her life'. So what the fuck is your agenda?"

Her directness took him by surprised, "MY agenda?"

She nodded sliding onto the stool Lizzie had vacated, "you're in the family car, and sitting with the family...two weeks ago no fucker knew you existed."

He rolled his eyes, "have you seen those two over there? The excuse for parents? Because she needed someone to counteract those...and you weren't here."

"Don't make this about me!" She snarled at him, "I have been there for years; I have seen her struggle to be everything to them for years, so don't try and bounce this back."

He shrugged, "I'm not. I'm just defending myself against an onslaught. That's all."

She gestured to the barman and ordered a gin and tonic, then finally turned back to him, "do you know where I've been the last three months?"

He nodded, "the US, a long old road trip."

Her laugh was shrill, "it was supposed to be with my best mate...Lizzie. But she pulled out, you know why?" She didn't give him time to answer, "because Janis wasn't capable of looking after Nate for that time frame. She has sacrificed her career, her love life, her fun...her travel, for YOUR son. So forgive me if I look at you, this father who has appeared out of nowhere and worry what affect you are having worming your way irrevocably into her life. She loves that boy and I don't know what will happen if you try and take him away."

"He's my son," he offered.

She rolled her eyes, "and HER nephew, though he thinks of her as more than a mother. You are going to ruin her, and I can't sit back whilst everyone thinks you are the dog's bollocks. You hear that?"

Before he could answer, the parents he'd been calling out approached.

"Ah there you are Oscar."

They both seemed to fall for his charm, so he plastered on a fake smile, "can I get you a drink both?"

Nodding they each requested a drink, and it wasn't until he'd paid the barman that he spotted Vicky still scowling at him.

"Really?" she hissed at him.

He laughed, "really. Keep them happy and away from Lizzie, that's my agenda. Ok?"

It was met with a thunderous look as Vicky turned and marched off in the direction of the bathrooms, and hopefully Lizzie. He could put up with her anger, as long as she looked after Lizzie, that was the agenda here.

She'd splashed water on her face three times and still looked a mess. Lizzie dropped her eyes as the bathroom door opened behind her not wanting anyone to see her like this. She was a mess, but then her life was dissolving around her and she had no idea if she'd survive it all.

"So you're hanging out in here whilst your mother plays the centre of the universe card?"

She immediately lifted her eyes and met Vicky's gaze, "this is a car crash Vic, I just really want to go home and curl up in a ball."

Vicky placed her arms around her waist, and her chin on Lizzie's shoulder, eyes locked in the mirror, "you're brave girl, you're my inspiration. Come out there, talk to everyone, let this be about Janis and you...not your parents. I reckon she's got a catholic priest lined up outside to cast his incantations on proceedings."

Lizzie giggled elbowing her friend in the ribs, "don't!"

Vicky winked, "look, Janis will start rolling in her coffin if we let her win. You need to get back out there, and make it about her. Ok?"

Lizzie turned and pulled her friend into an embrace, "I am so glad that you are back, I don't know how I'd cope without you today."

Vicky sighed, "you've got Oscar..."

Lizzie picked up on the animosity in that comment, "I know you don't like him, but he's been a rock."

"For how long Liz? I worry so much about you...how you'll cope once all this is over..."

Lizzie plastered on a smile, Vicky was right, she was walking a tightrope and she had no idea how she was going to deal with the aftermath. But she couldn't think like that today. She had to keep going...surging on.

"I'll be fine, we'll work it out. You'll see. Now come on, you're right. My mother has made this about her for far too long."

Linking an arm through her friend's she led them both back to the wake, a genial smile the mask she wore to hide her torment.