[Blaine]

" What happened?"

" Is he going to be okay?"

" Will he wake up ?"

" I heard that he tried to kill himself"

" Who was that kid anyway"

" The little gay one I think"

" I always found him weird"

The story of what had happened to Kurt was now known by the whole school. Or to be more precise, the rumors of what had happened we're known to whole school. But no one, except from me and Finn, knew exactly what had happened to Kurt. It was annoying how everyone though they knew the whole truth, when in fact all they were doing was spreading rumors. At this school, rumors were like crack to people.

Kurt state hadn't gotten any better, and it has been weeks since we visited him at the hospital. Everyday after school, Finn and I would go to the hospital and just by his bed. Talking, breathing, crying. Anything really, in hopes of that Kurt would wake up, but he didn't. Instead we were two guys sitting there, balling our eyes out in rounds.

It wasn't just me and Finn who visited him at the hospital. Occasionally the others of the New Directions would pay a visit, the most vibrant being Rachel and Mercedes who stopped by almost as frequently as Finn and I.

I had just stuffed my books into my locker, closing it up for the day, when I felt someone walk up to me. I turned around swiftly, and saw none other than Rachel Berry. Her eyes were all puffy and red as if she had been crying. In her hand she was holding picture.

" Hey Rachel" I said, giving her a small smile

" Hi Blaine" She answered back, sniffing. " I just wanted to give you this" she said and handed me the picture she was holding her hands. It was a picture of Kurt

" I thought you might wanted one ... he .. used to look so different .. he used too look and be so happy. I never imagined that he would do something like this ... I knew he was having a bad time, but I just pushed him away" she said to me, this time looking down to to the ground.

I took a closer at the picture of Kurt, and to be honest, he did in fact look different. The Kurt I knew now, was not only a lot more skinny, but also a lot more sad-looking.

" Rachel ... I don't think you should blame yourself... if it in any way was your fault, it would be just as much my fault" I said and brought her into a hug.

" Blaine.. i don't know what Kurt has told you about our friendship.. but its a mess. "

" Rachel..."

" No, Blaine.. I need to get this off my chest" she said and took a heavy breath. " Can we go to the Lima Bean?" she asked me. I gave a nod in agreement, and we both headed out of the school.

While we were walking to the car, a group of people were walking towards us. At first, it looked like it was the glee club, but when I couldn't see anyone in a wheel chair, I quickly understood it wasn't them at all. In fact, it was someone completely else.

" Karofsky" I simply said, when I had finally realized who had been walking toward us. " What do you want?"

" I heard what happened to Hummel.. so your little fairy finally did it or what?" Karofsky said, making the others behind him snicker as if they were school girls.

" You must be happy now or what" I spat back " This is what you've always wanted right?"

" Blaine.." Rachel whimpered out, grabbing my arms tightly to keep me from lunching at Karofksy

" No Berry.. let the hobbit speak for himself" one of the other guys said, clenching his fist.

" Listen Karofsky" I said, inching a step closer so that we now almost stood nose to nose. Despite the guy was a lot taller than me, I didn't feel threatened by him.

" I know you have been the one guy who was mean to Kurt for the most of the time. I don't really give a damn about why or how or whatever. But the fact that you hurt him, makes me ultimately hate you okay. You know what Kurt told me the very first time I met him?"

Karofsky shook his head to indicate that he didn't know. I mean, of course he wouldn't.

" Kurt told me that there was this one Neanderthal, thats you by the way, who had made it his life mission to make Kurts life like hell. " I stopped for a second, thinking hard on what I wanted to say. Before any of the others had an opportunity to say anything, or think for that matter, I continued.

" He told me that you and your little gang here " I said pointing straight at them. My own anger was building faster up inside me, and I was boiling with rage. This was the maddest I've ever been at anything or anyone. " Told him to die.. and guess what! He tried just doing that. So for you to now come and act like a dick, is not okay"

" And why should I care about a gay kid like Hummel?" Karofsky said, a small smile lingering at his face.

" Why shouldn't you? " I said almost through gritted teeth. " Kurt is a human being, just like you and me. He has feelings, and gets hurt too. That's why you should care Karofsky. It's the decent thing to do"

" I'm sorry Blaine.. but that's rich coming from you" one of the other guys standing behind Karofksy said

" What do you mean?" I asked them obviously confused

" It means that you're a hypocrite Blaine. You keep telling me that I'm acting like a dick because I hurt Kurt, but you're not any better yourself" Karofsky said

" And what exactly are you implying?" I said crossing my arms and putting them tightly in front of  my chest.

But Karofsky didn't say anything. In fact, he just stared at me with a smirk on his face, telling me he knew something I didn't  know. Instead of getting anything out of him at all, he turned on his heel and in a matter of seconds, he and his little gang of jocks was out of our sights.

I turned to Rachel, who I in heat of the moment, I had forgot was standing right beside me. She  arched her brows, shrugging it all off. I did the same thing, before we sped off to my car.

~
The smell of newly brewed coffee hit my face as soon as we entered the coffee shop well known as The Lima Bean. The place was crowded with people ordering drinks, sitting by the tables, talking and catching up as people did in a coffee shop.

We went over to the counter where the barista was smiling too brightly.  After we ordered our drinks, mine being the usual medium drip, we went over to one of the vacant tables. As soon as we sat down, Rachel pulled out her phone which was buzzing like crazy

" It's Finn" she said, while tapping frantically at the phone

" What does he want" I asked her, taking a big sip of my coffee. I must say, even though the times are hard, the coffee never tastes bad.

" He gave me an update on Kurt" She said to me " He still hasn't woken up"

" I just hope he will" I said. " No.. I need him to"

" Blaine.. Kurt is strong. He will get through this. I mean look at everything he's been through. He's got a thick skin" Rachel said. And to be honest, hear her say that actually made me feel calmer. Or maybe it just was the coffee?

" So Rachel ... you said you needed to get something off your chest? Spill it, preferably before the coffee gets cold"

She let out heartwarming laugh, before she took another sip of her coffee.

" Your'e right" She said and looked at me

" I know I am" I playfully said back, making her laugh even harder " Okay but seriously "

" Okay so... I just don't know what to do.. I feel so responsible"

" Rachel I already told you... you can't blame yourself for this.. none of us can. Although it is really hard"

" I know Blaine, I know.. but I still feel responsible. If not for the actually attempt, but more like how I've been treating him lately. And especially the one time I totally freaked out on him in the choir room. I shouldn't have said any of those things"

" Rachel" I started saying" I don't think Kurt did this to himself because of what you said in the choir room. I think there's more to it than we know"

" But what if I was one of the reasons he did?"

" Kurt ... Kurt is not okay. And I haven't been all that good to him either.. "

Rachel just looked at me for a second. When she didn't say anything I continued.

" We just need to stay by his side now"

~

When I reached my house later that evening, something I hadn't expected was standing the midst of the living room. Or to be more precisely, someone.

" Dad.. what are you doing here?" I asked him as I set my schoolbag onto the floor. I took a closer step to him, but being carful not too get too close. The memories of our last encounter still playing fresh in my mind.

" I thought you were in rehab" I said when he didn't answer my question

" Did you really think I would be staying at that hellhole for a second?" My dad spat out. His eyes were filled with anger.. anger I had never seen him show before. He walked closer to me, and I could now smell his breath, which was distinct of alcohol.

" I just thought it might help you tho"

"Like you would know" he spat back " Your'e just a kid. You don't know what might help me"

" I may not know that, but what I do know, is that you are my dad.. and I care about you enough to want toget help."

" Just stop okay. I don't want someone like you caring about me. I don't need your validation"

" What do you mean when you say someone like me?"

" Don't act dumb Blaine. You know what I mean!"

" Is it me being gay?"

" Hell yes it is. "

" And what so wrong with it. I don't understand... it's just who I am"

" I didn't raise a litte fag okay. I didn't raise you to go off and sleep with other guys, that's not what we do in the Anderson family. Your brother is doing the right thing"

" You mean sleeping around with any girl he stumbles over? Throwing himself around as If he doesn't matter?"

" NO! He is doing the right thing because he is with girls at least. He's normal, unlike you"

I couldn't believe what just heard. And to be fairly honest, I wasn't sure if just was the alcohol talking, or if he actually meant the things he said.

" Your'e not my son, and as long as you keep living your life as a fag, you will never be my son" He said before he sat himself down onto the couch again. He took one swig of a bottle I hadn't even noticed was standing on the table in front of him. After what seemed like an eternity of me watching my dad fill his body with more of the topic beverage, he leaned his head onto the cushion and closed his eyes.

It hurt. Everything hurt so much, and I didn't what I could say. The fact that Kurt was in the hospital, uncertain if he was going to survive, and the fact that my dad had officially announced that he hated me, stung my heart so deeply. I turned around, hearing the loud snoring sounds coming out of my fathers mouth indicating he had fallen asleep, and grabbed my school bag again.

I cast one last look at the drunk man, before I left the house with only one intention. I was never setting my foot back in this house as long as he was here. Never.

As soon as I closed the front door behind me, feeling the fresh cold air hit my face, staining all the tears I hadn't even noticed had fallen down my cheek, my phone let out a buzzing sound. I wiped away my tears with my sleeve, and cleared my throat, before I pulled out the phone out of my pocket. It was a message from Finn.

'Kurt's awake', the simply said. I stuffed the phone back into my pocket and headed straight to the hospital. If there was one thing I was absolutely sure, one thing that even my dad couldn't take away from me, it was my love for Kurt. Maybe it was wrong for two guys to love each other the way I feel about him. Maybe it was wrong for two guys to be romantically involved. Maybe it was wrong for two guys to go against several decades of tradition when it came to love. But none of that mattered anymore, and to be frank, it never mattered when it came to Kurt. Because this was me being the best me. And for the record;

Kurt is my life.

As easy as that.

***
A/N: SO GUYS I FINALLY UPDATED! I know its been FOREVER and Ive been giving empty promises. The original plan was to upload this chapter on Christmas Eve as a present to you guys, but I didnt have time because of work and such. Then the next plan to update on New Years Eve, but that didnt happen ( Obviously) and then I thought I could upload January 1st as a good start on 2019 ... but that didnt happen either. BUTTT!! its finally up

Comments and reviews are as always well appreciated. And please let me know what you think <33