[Blaine]

As soon as we entered the hospital, Mr. Schue turned his face to me and Mrs. Pillsbury.
" I'm going to go and talk to the nurse and find out which room he is in, Okay?" He said, leaving me and Mrs. Pillsbury behind. I watched him as he went over to the reception disk, and started talking to the woman behind the desk. After a few seconds he turned around and walked back towards us.

" Okay, so Kurt's nurse is with him right now, and she will come out soon. They're running some tests I think.. do you guys need something to drink? Blaine, are you Okay?" He asked me as he saw the look on my face.

I just nodded my head, saying yes. It was easier to just lie in a time like this than actually tell the truth.

" I'm fine... I just need to sit down I think" I said and went over to a bench where visitors could sit and wait. I didn't bother to hear the whispering that happened between Mr. Shue and Mrs. Pillsbury.

I sat down, and fished out my phone, where endless of texts from several glee members was sent.

'Is Kurt alright?'

'Have you seen Kurt ?'

' Do you know what happened to him'

No! No! And absolutely no way in hell I knew what had happened. I knew he had tried doing something he told me he would never try.. but I didn't know why or how or if I was a contributing factor.

I stuffed phone in my pocket and put my head in hands, letting silent tears fall down my cheek. I didn't even notice two arms grabbing me by the shoulder and lifting me up. I looked up, and saw Burt and Finn standing in front of me, both of them having red puffy eyes, as if they had been crying.

" How is he?" I just asked

" He ... the doctors don't know how he will recover.. but" Burt started, but didn't manage to finish. His voice cracked and he sat himself down in the seat I had just been sitting in.

" Kurt ... he .. he slit his wrist, so there was a lot of blood a.. and if I hadn't found him in time.. he. The doctors thinks he might have died then...but" Finn said

" But what?" I asked when he had stopped talking " What is it Finn?"

" But he is not awake... so the doctors are just hoping he will wake up.. he is stable in like doctor-ways if that makes sense... but he is in.. what is it called again .."

" Coma?" I asked

" Ahh yes that one! He is in coma for now.. and well we and the doctors are just hoping he will wake up"

" I .. it's my fault .. " I  said at last and sat myself down beside Burt, who now had wiped his tear-stained face

" Blaine you can't blame yourself for this.. Kurt is the one who did it" Burt said, trying to comfort me.

" Besides, he might survive this" Finn said, giving a small smile, but vanished quickly as the nurse came walking towards us.

" Mr. Hummel?" She asked, addressing to Burt

" Yes" He said and got up and shook the woman's hand

" We've run some more tests, and it seems like Kurt will be just fine" she said and as soon as she did all five of us let out a breath we didn't even knew we held.

" That's really great" Mr. Shue said, holding on tight to Mrs. Pillsbury " we should probably get back to our classes at school. You will be alright here with Burt and Finn, right Blaine "

" Yes, no problem" I said an gave them a final hug before they left.

" However.." the nurse started saying, looking directly at Burt" as we told you earlier, he is in a coma, and the only thing we can do for now is to hope he will make it. You know now that Kurt tried to slit his own wrist, but we couldn't help but notice that his whole body was covered in scars. Scars we can only presume is results of self-harming... does any of that sound familiar?" She asked all of us.

I knew. I knew Kurt was struggling with this, and I didn't do anything to help.. instead I just got mad him.. for what? For not letting me love him? For not letting he love me? It all sounded so stupid right now.

" Self harm? I've never seen Kurt doing that?" Finn said, scrunching up his face

" I don't think you would've seen him doing it Mr. Hudson.. as people who self harm only do it when they're completely alone. So none of you knew?"

" I knew Kurt was rather depressed and all that, but I never knew he did anything to harm himself " Burt said " I though he just liked long sleeved clothes because they were fashionable or something like that"

" I see. It is common that people who do that hide their scars by wearing long sleeved clothes. "

I couldn't say anything. I was paralyzed and my body was frozen. I wanted to, but I just couldn't open my mouth.

" We also noticed that Kurt's body is very small compared to other kids his age... did you ever notice him losing weight or something?" The nurse asked again. I knew the other two didn't know any of this as Kurt had told me he had never told them.

" No... I .. I don't know what's being going on with him" Burt said, and letting a new set of tears roll down his face. " I should've noticed that something was wrong" he said

" Dont blame yourself Burt. Kurt has always been very good at hiding things and keeping secrets " Finn said, rubbing his back trying to comfort him.

" I notice you have been very quiet... eh.."

" Blaine Anderson" I introduced myself to the nurse " I'm his boyfriend"

" Ahh Yes, Blaine. Did you know any of this?" She asked me. I could sense the piercing stare of Finn and Burt at me, and I realized I couldn't lie to them. Not at a time like this.

" Yes. Yes I knew " I said, not daring to look the other two in the eyes

" What do you mean you knew" Burt said after some time

" Kurt.. he told me about his self-harming... and how he would skip meals every once in a while or how he never felt hungry" I said " I tried helping him... with the self harm, but he would just push me away when I did... but Burt, I swear! I did not know he would ever try something like this.. a-and I don't know what made him do it" I said, at last looking at them both

" Why didn't you tell us?" Finn asked me, and honestly, I didn't have a good answer to it.

" I don't know.. I just felt like it wasn't my secret to tell" I said. I turned my gaze to the nurses who was having a comforting expression. She grabbed my hand squeezed it tightly

" You're right. It wasn't your secret to tell.. but now that it's all in the open, we have to do the best we can to help him." She said. She picked up her notice board she had kept in her hand, and checked something off of it. " Kurt is in room 205 if you want to see him. I should tell you this; most people who are in coma can still hear you. So if you want to talk to him or something, don't be afraid to. Sometimes talking to the patience can help them to wake up" she said and left us all alone in the hallway.

" I'm so sorry guys that I didn't say anything.." I said, but the both of them just gave me scolding look before they walked off to Kurt's room.

I followed them into the room where Kurt was, and the sight was horrifying. Kurt, with a small frame, lay unconscious in his hospital bed. His face was almost white, and it really did look like as if he was made of porcelain. Burt and Finn both sat themselves down in the chairs beside his bed, but I just stood by the door.

" Oh Kurt.. what have you done" Burt whispered, while stroking Kurt's hair

" I knew something was wrong ... but never had I imagined he would do this" Finn said, taking a tight hold on Kurts hand on the opposite side of Burt " He doesn't deserve this ... none of it"

I walked closer to the bed, taking in the sight. I felt like vomiting. It was my fault. If I hadn't pushed Kurt away, he would've never done this to himself... if I had just paid a bit more attention .. and not be so focused on Sebastian, he would still be here.

" Can I have a moment with him alone?" I asked Burt. He looked up at me with an angry face before he relaxed and got up from his chair.

" We'll be right outside" he said and went outside, with Finn half confused trailing behind him. When they closed the door behind them, I sat myself down in the nearest chair to his bed.

I grabbed his hand holding it tightly in mine, as I let the tears fall down my face.

" Kurt... I'm so sorry. I.. should've been there. I should've helped you. I should've done something to prevent this"
I looked at him and his face was still, nothing indicated that he heard me.

'Nothing's gonna harm you,
not while I'm around' I began to sing softly

'Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir
not while I'm around

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays
I'll send 'en howling
I don't care, I got ways

No ones gonna hurt you ,
No ones gonna dare
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there '

I pulled away for a minute and dried my eyes from the tears that was streaming down now. I took a shaky breath, before I finished off the song, barely keeping it together.

Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to I would never
Hide a thing from you
Like some

Demons'll charm you
With a smile
For a while
But in time
Nothing can harm young
Not while I'm around '

I wrapped my hands around his and brought them up to my lips, and kissed them softly. When I soon realized that Kurt wasn't going to give any form of attention, I just kept sitting there in silence. The sound from the machine going on in the background, but my mind couldn't focus. I was shocked, and hurt and mostly sad.

Sad because of what happened of course. But also because I had no idea he would ever do something like this. Sad that I couldn't help him, or that I didn't even notice. Sad because I was so selfish and so egocentric that I didn't notice the pain he clearly was in. Where the hell was I in all of this? Sure I was present, but not present enough.

I looked towards the door, where I could hear Burt and Finn talking outside, arguing about what they should do. I couldn't listen to him. So instead of walking out of the room and facing them, like I should, I lied myself down beside Kurt in the hospital bed. I wrapped my arms around his mall and fragile waist, and put my head into his chest. I could hear his heart beating. It was low, and not very strong at the moment, but it was beating.

And that was the most important thing right now.

***

A/N: so that was it for now. Wow this chapter just made me sad😢😢 let's hope our Kurt will wake up soon !! Comments/ reviews are appreciated ❤️