unedited

There's a boy in blue at my school, no one seems to know him but I've seen him wandering around the school with his head down.

Brown shaggy hair in a permanent bedhead style, skin almost unnaturally pale, a bright blue jacket he always has his hands in, a plain white t-shirt and faded blue jeans, it was clear he was at least a little underweight but not by too much, it was impossible to miss him but every time I asked people they'd just shrugged as if he could be anyone.

As I stood in the hallway watching him walk in the crowd it was like my eyes couldn't stay off him like they were forced to follow, that's how I spotted him originally months ago and why I was so confused on why no one else seemed to notice him. Today was the day I was going to talk to him and see what his story was, I had my recorder with the little microphone attached ready, my headphones around my neck, pen and notepad in my pocket, and my camera hanging below my headphones, it was weird but I thought if I approached him using the excuse I was on the school's newspaper team it'd be less awkward talking to him.

I followed behind a distance away just trying to see where he'd end up and hopefully the crowd would thin out a bit, I furrowed my brows in confusion when he went down the hallway that usually was just rooms that were filled with broken chairs the principal insisted on finding someone to fix and dusty chalkboards that haven't been used since the seventies.

I jogged over to him when he went down the dark path quickly pulling the microphone into my hand, pressing record on my device as soon as I opened my mouth to talk, "Hey there! What's your name?"

He ignored me and kept walking, I frowned and walked closer to him so that maybe he got the idea that I was talking to him and not someone else, not like there was anything else, "H-hey? Boy in blue-"

My mouth was left open when he finally stopped and turned around, his cheeks were puffier than I thought they were going to be, his top lip having a perfect cupid's bow and his bottom one being full and puffy looking, his eyes being a dark brown with gold flecks dancing in them, his hair was long enough to tangle with his lashes but I could tell his eyebrows had a soft arch to them while the left was slit.

He didn't say anything, just stare at me for a moment with a slight tilt of his head before I guess he thought I wasn't going to say anything he turned around again walking away keeping his hands in the pockets of his jacket, he was absolutely beautiful.

But why were there tears stains on his face?

I tried to figure that out over the next few weeks, eventually finding out he always went down that hallway during first period every school day, so I followed him trying to at least get him to tell me to buzz off but after that day he wouldn't even look at me and it was making me frustrated, how was I supposed to solve this mystery with an unwilling target?

I couldn't spend the rest of the school year just following him so I interviewed others in the midst of my chase for the paper, the boy in blue seemed determined to make me give up but I still kept my foot down, now carrying my equipment everywhere with me trying to figure out the rest of his schedule, I had to admit it was stalking but he wouldn't leave my mind and it was disrupting my studies, I needed to figure him out.

After a few more weeks I found out that he liked going to the roof on breaks, so I finished my work early and managed to get excused under the guise that I was going to the bathroom when in actuality I was just going to the roof to wait on him.

I was shocked to see him already sitting against the fence that was placed on the edge when I got there, he had his knees pulled halfway to his chest smoking a cigarette from a brand I didn't recognize, I walked over to him staring at the top of his head, noticing how thick his hair was before swallowing and opening my mouth, "those are bad for you, you know?"

He finally looked up at me and I was struck with the same feeling as the first time, the feeling of seeing true beauty, but this time I shoved that feeling to the back of my head and crouched down, his eyes traveling with me as I pulled out my recorder, hitting the button and pointing the microphone at him, "now that I have your attention, wanna tell me who you are?"

He blinked, almost slowly but I still saw how his lashes swept over his cheeks that were stained from tears, I wanted to know why and when he was crying but that was asking for too much, I didn't even know his name yet.

I frowned when he didn't say anything like last time so I dug in my pocket and pulled out my pen and pad, handing it to him "if you don't wanna talk you can at least write it down"

He stared at them for a moment before taking them from me, placing the pad on his thighs while he wrote on it, I watched his hand move as he seemed to write forever before he handed them to me again, I frowned as I looked at the page, it was just a bunch of symbols with occasional letters, I looked up at him annoyed, '"you know you're making this harder than it has to be"

He rolled his eyes shrugging his shoulders before looking away from me and continued smoking, at this point I was beyond frustrated, not even the emo kids were this reluctant to interview, did he just not know I was on the school's newspaper team? "Look, I'm Mickey Scott, head of Yardale academy's school paper, I'm just trying to get an interview because you seem interesting, now will you say something?"

He looked at me again, a certain glint in his eye that seemed like amusement before he took the notepad again this time writing quicker and handing it to me, I looked down and pressed my lips together in a thin line as I looked at the word 'No' with a weird symbol at the end, he was kidding, right?

I looked up at him still annoyed when I noticed he was smiling, I couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up and my annoyance slowly melt away, sighing I looked back at the note pad "you're going to be a real hard person to get any information out of, aren't you?"

I looked back up at him to see his smile soften as he nodded, I groaned which made him smile wider again, he took the note pad again, putting the cigarette in his mouth as he made a little doodle then took the cancer stick and placed the lit end on the page, "hey!"

Hey handed it to me again and I looked to see any flame but it was just a burn in the middle of a heart he drew on the bottom right of the page, I looked up at him with a light frown seeing him put out his cigarette then flick it through the hole in the fence before standing up, I stared at him as he waved at me and walked away to the staircase that led into the school.

I was confused, what exactly was that encounter? I looked at my recorder and pressed the button to turn it off before shoving it in my pocket and standing up, looking over the school seeing the sun shine its pinkish-orange light on the courtyard below before turning around and heading down the stairs myself.

Over the next month, me and the boy in blue got closer, or at least it felt like it because he smiled when we were together, he still didn't talk or write down a clear sentence but at least he looked at me when I called out to him, I started calling him blue for short but I was still interested in learning his story.

I did learn that he usually only smoked on the roof, he skipped class a lot and found him passed out in the abandoned hallway more often than not, I still couldn't figure out why he cried every day and it honestly worried me that maybe something was going on at home but I didn't really ask, most of our conversations were one-sided of course with me mostly talking about the school paper and trying to convince him to do an interview, but I also talked about what I wanted to do when I graduated and my secret love for photography, although it was frustrated that he didn't answer it was also nice to have someone that would just... listen.

Blue was a bubbly guy, smiling a lot especially at my jokes, and getting pouty when I was held up in class or working on the school paper to make sure it got printed on time, he seemed really interested in the pictures I took out of the school usually scooting closer to me to get a better look at my camera although he was hesitant to let me take a picture of him.

My note pad was filling with his little riddles of symbols that I honestly didn't take the time to decode, some were harder than others and some were simple words two to four-lettered words with a symbol somewhere next to or in them, I didn't know why he wrote like that but when I asked he just shrugged at me and didn't really give a clear answer.

For some reason, Blue didn't really eat, at least not with me around because every time I brought him a snack he only looked at it for a moment and handed it back to me, it was weird and concerning but I didn't see him lose any more weight than already had so I assumed he just ate at home and didn't like the food at school.

As another month passed there were only two times he almost talked, one time I got distracted and when my attention was back on him he stopped and another he just stared at me with his mouth open for a moment before giving me a sad smile, it was one of the confusing things he did but.

As we were in the courtyard of the school staring at the pond waiting for a frog to jump up to catch it I looked at Blue, he was staring intensely at the water with his hands on his knees while he crouched, his hair tucked behind his ear and out of his eyes for once, he'd washed off the tear stains from his cheeks earlier and he looked... excited.

As I felt my heartbeat in my chest I realized I'd fallen in love with a mute, even though I barely knew anything about him I couldn't help my cheeks turning red and my stomach filling with butterflies every time I looked at him, I loved him and finding out new little quirks about him silently.

Like his bad habit of picking under his nails, and the barely noticeable curls in his hair, it made me unbelievably happy finding them out and it was like I was learning about him without him having to say a word, which I guess it was since he was mute but I tried to push that fact out of my mind.

I saw him excitedly pointing at the water and I looked, "Oh cool! It's a big one" I spoke.

I reached down and grabbed it off the half-submerged rock holding it up so Blue could see, I frowned lightly when I saw it's back clearer "damn, I think this one's a toad actually"

Blue smiled then jumped leaning back when I held it closer to him, "come on touch it, it's not fair if I'm the only one who gets warts"

He made a disgusted face and I laughed, putting the toad back into the pond where it hopped away "I'm kidding, although I really need to scrub my hands now"

He smiled again shaking his head as he pulled out his cigarette pack again about to pull one out when I stopped him "you know I hate those"

He stared at me before sighing silently and putting them back into his pocket looking at the water sticking his hand out and sticking two fingers into the water to pet the turtle that swam past, the bell rung making me look at the building with a sigh and slowly standing up, "I'll see you after class Blue"

He looked sad, more sad than usual when I left for class but he just nodded and watched as I walked off, when I looked back at him he was still petting the turtles in the pond but he took the pack of cigarettes again lighting it quickly, I frowned making a mental note to take those damn things later.

Class was boring as usual, I spent most of it staring blankly at my notes wishing Blue's schedule lines up with mine so that we could goof off together and the rest of it dosing off, not like I'd miss anything as I could just read a few chapters of the textbook and look over the study guide when I got home and still pass whatever test was thrown at me.

As I opened my eyes again in the middle of the teacher droning, I realized I had passed out only for a few minutes so I raised my hand so that I could lie about going to the bathroom and go grab a Redbull from the school's vending machine, I easily convinced the teacher that I was about to piss myself and walked out the class with my hands in my pocket feeling around.

As I walked down the hall I couldn't seem to find my wallet, I had my keys, my emergency USB hard drive, a few random candies, loose change but I couldn't find my wallet, I huffed and knew I must've put it in my desk again, I didn't know why I kept doing that but it was just a habit I couldn't break, as I went to turn around and head back I noticed Blue in a hallway he wasn't usually in.

I froze wondering what he was doing there and walked over, he must've saw my shoes because he looked up at me and he had tears running down his face again, I got worried immediately "hey, what's wrong?"

As his lips parted to make a sound suddenly I jolted and opened my eyes, it was a dream? I looked around noticing a few students and the teacher staring at me weirdly, I sheepishly looked at my desk realizing they weren't used to me waking up startled, "do you need to be excused, Mickey?" the teacher asked.

I was about to say no when I got a weird gut feeling and looked up at her nodding, "yeah, could I please?"

"Then step outside"

I got out my seat and walked out the class, waiting until the door was firmly shut before I took off, running down the hallway I took in my dream and looked for the one I saw Blue in, he wasn't there when I got to it but I did hear something.

Crying.

I went down the path until I could tell which room it was coming from, an abandoned classroom that many people said was haunted, I didn't believe such a thing as it wasn't logical to blame your fears on the supernatural, but why was someone in there? I tried to open the door but it was locked, the crying got louder and I could hear muffled words, they were long and the same one was repeated over and over, that's why I got the gut feeling.

I took a step back, breathing in as I knew my parents were about to be real pissed with me, and kicked as hard as I could under the knob feeling the door crack but the lock was still in place, I kicked it again until finally the door opened and I rushed into the classroom.

My stomach dropped as I saw someone, an athlete possibly but definitely a guy from our school ontop of Blue with a knife in his hand, I had no idea what was going on but I could see Blue crying and struggling to get the obviously stronger guy off of him and I got a shot of confidence along with my fear.

Running up to the guy I channeled all the leg workouts I had to do for track I swung my leg and caught his throat right on my shin, he flung back coughing while I was still in action, stomping on his wrist to hold it down while I reached down to grab the knife, he was still conscious and almost sort of recovered from my kick to the throat so I cocked my foot back and kicked him straight in the temple which seemed to knock him out.

I huffed breathing heavy and turned to Blue, his clothes were a mess with the zipper to his jacket broken, his shirt stretched and pushed above his stomach with his pants undone and a very obvious mark the knife left on his throat.

But that wasn't what made me drop to my knees, he was... disappearing.

Pieces of him chipped off and floated away before poofing away, I was so confused and scared as I picked him up and held him close, the first time we every touched and he was unbelievably cold, like ice, "o-oh god, what's...?"

Blue pressed a finger to my lips to shut me up then held his hand out spreading his fingers as he watched it disappear, my eyes started to burn as I felt tears prick them and get caught on my lashes as I slowly realized I hadn't fallen in love with a mute.

I fell in love with a ghost.

"Blue..." I choked out.

"Thank you..." he whispered.

I started to cry harder when he was finally gone and I tried to hold the air that filled his place closer, my heart hurt so much I thought one of the tendons would snap and I'd follow him into the afterlife but I just gripped my chest, it was strange, normal people would react way differently than me but all I could do was sit there and cry as I knew six months of love just slipped through my fingers and I'd never get that back.

"Micheal Preston Scott! do you wanna tell me what the hell happened to this door?" I heard the bio teacher shout.

I looked over at where the jock had been lying and saw that he disappeared too then I finally trailed my tear-filled eyes up to the teacher, and saw his face turn from anger to confused concern.

I never did tell anyone about that day no matter how many times they asked, they wouldn't believe me and I'd be sent to a mental institute if anyone even thought it wasn't a joke, I took a break from the paper to stare at my notepad longingly before one day I decided to decode the messages that had been written in them.

It was easy once I looked at his No with the symbol on it and realized the words were in order just with a bunch of shit between it, I learned his name quickly, it was Linus, Linus Jameson. Once I had his name I did my research into who he was finding out he wasn't but a year older than me, born into a rich but neglectful family with his dad constantly going on trips to the UK, he was murdered in the nineties in a sexual assault gone wrong when his attacker accidentally stabbed him as he fought back.

That explains why he disappeared when he did and why his clothes were messy.

I got pissed when I found out the only reason anyone got notified of his death was because the attacker couldn't deal with the guilt and confessed about a week later before he took his life in jail.

I spent the rest of my time off decoding the messages, getting misty-eyed again as I went through them, 'I'm nobody' he wrote in one, 'the cherry blossoms are beautiful, I always missed seeing them every year' in another, probably when we were going through my camera roll in the spring, I wiped my eye with the back of my thumb and sadly smiled as I wrote down all of his off-hand comments and jokes.

I only joined back onto the newspaper team when I could finally stop crying every time someone brought up that day in the classroom, it was hard and it took a while but I managed. I was sitting in my chair after school messing with my recorder as I waited for the papers to finish printing when I started flipping through the recordings until I got to the first one I recorded for us.

Usually, when I did interviews I deleted the recordings after they served their purpose but I couldn't with him, I hooked up my headphones to it and pressed play not really expecting anything as he couldn't talk after all, but I heard something, it was really small but it came after I stopped talking.

Furrowing my brows I turned the chair around to face the table ignoring the wood digging into my shins as I plugged the recorder to the computer that wasn't handling the school papers, the recorder was an older model due to me having a taste for the vintage but I was still able to easily crack into it like usual.

After being confused on how to mess with the audio recording for a moment and considering calling my nerd of a brother for advice I finally figured out how to remove my voice and turn up the volume on the sound.

"What?"

It was quick and soft-spoken but I knew that's what it said, it was too robotic for me to hear it in his voice but I still smiled sadly as I knew he'd been talking with me the whole time, just managing to without moving his mouth, confusing but I wasn't about to question the paranormal.

"Bye then"

I jumped, realizing I had left the sound running and that was him turning around after I didn't answer him, I flipped to a different recording and fiddled with it somehow managing to copy what I did before.

"Fuck off" I smiled as I knew that was his response to my cigarette comment.

"It's Linus"

Silence

"Whatever"

Silence

"Like mickey mouse?"

I chuckled softly at his comparison, it wasn't uncommon for people to call me that especially when I was still short but I liked it better coming from him, the butterflies exploded in my stomach once more when I heard his laugh and I was falling in love all over again as I listened to the recordings.

He called me mickey mouse a lot and his laugh was so pure which made me happy I made it a habit to record our conversations even though it felt weird in the moment, the more I went through them the louder and more confident he got until I didn't have to fiddle with the recording at all, it was kind of static in parts but for the most part I could hear and enjoy his voice.

By the time I was done the papers had been sitting there for at least an hour or two and I was crying again but once I was done I pulled myself together, making a mental note to put all the recordings somewhere safe so that I could make room on the recorder while not losing anything.

I got up and walked over to the newspapers, picking them up and shuffling to put them on the proper shelf, when I went to grab a second armful I froze I as smelt a familiar smell coming from outside.

Cigarette smoke.