Dean

I'm crying, and any other day I'd care about crying in front of so many people, but not today. I don't want to lose her, I don't want to be without her.

We stand there for a few minutes, until we're both composed, before walking out of the room and towards the barracks. Ella doesn't stand by me this time as we're walking, and I wonder if I blew everything by telling her I loved her. I do love her, and I didn't want to live another moment without her knowing the truth.

I don't love you like that.

Her words continue to repeat over and over in my head, and I have to tell myself to take deep breaths, not wanting to lose it all again. I can't sit around and cry, that only makes me feel weak and it doesn't solve any problem whatsoever. I need to do this, to protect her, to get her out of this alive, that's what I need to be thinking about. I don't need to fill my head with the reminder that the human I love doesn't love me back. I knew she didn't, but I never knew it'd be that hard to hear. I never knew I'd crumble inside from just six simple words. I don't love you like that.

I try to get my mind on the task in front of us, but it seem absolutely impossible. How is there any possible way to think of other things? I almost wish I never told her, but I can't regret that. She needed to know. What I do regret is everything I've ever done to her, and no matter if she forgives me or not, I'll never be able to forgive myself, never in a million years.

Our footsteps are all we can hear in the halls, and I've lost count of how many left and right's we've taken so far. It's like a labyrinth, I could get lost in here without Hunter. Maybe he is good for something.

After what seems like forever, he holds up his hand, motioning for us to stop. I get a tighter grip on my gun, hoping that I don't have to use it, that I don't have to shoot anyone, that I don't have to end anyone's life. I don't think I could live with myself if that happened, in fact, I know that I couldn't.

Before anyone has any time to think, Hunter opens the door, and we flood in behind him. Someone switches on the light, displaying rows and rows of bunk beds. The Guards are all sleeping in their beds, until Hunter begins to shout at them, telling them to get in order or he'll shoot. I can feel the sweat collect on my forehead, my nerves getting the best of me. This is wrong, I tell myself, my gun pointed at so many chests. I shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be doing this.

We're not shooting, and for that I'm thankful. I can just see something go wrong and everything going down hill. "Alright, get in order!" Hunter shouts. "Put your hands in the air! We're going to take a little trip to the cafeteria!" He tells them, his voice echoing across the room.

I line up beside who I think is Edmund, as Hunter leads them out of the room, his gun aimed at a few of their backs, before we follow behind the last Guard to exit the room.

Everyone is silent, no one is uttering a word, and I find myself growing even more anxious. Why aren't they fighting back? I'd be fighting back, no matter if I knew about the situation or not. If someone held me at gunpoint, I would not be as calm as they are.

This walk is even longer then the rest of them. At every step I wonder if someone is going to make a move. All these men, and only twelve of us.

I'm sweating even worse then earlier, the thick material from the uniform not helping at all. I just want this to be over with already, for us to put these guns away, for us to get out of the dangerous situation we're in. I won't die in a military base, I won't.

I once told Ella I wanted to die next to my significant other, and I mean that. I want to die next to the person I love as we lie together, comfortable and safe. I want to be warm and in a place where I'm not fearful, in a place where I'm not being somebody else under a mask. I want to be myself, I want to go as myself, the best person I can die as. No guns, no weapons, just my heart stopping from old age. That's how I want to go.

Hunter starts shouting more orders, and I ignore him, tired of this plan. Something is going to go wrong, and when it does, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be told that I was right, when I know I'm right. It's common sense, this can't possibly end well.

Our steps ring throughout the base, them being louder now from the Guards walking. I want to get to the cafeteria as fast as I can, wanting this to be all over with.

"In here!" Hunter shouts, before we all walk inside of a large room, resembling a school cafeteria. I've never been in this room before, I only ever ate in my room when they left me the tray.

The Guards file in, before we keep our guns on them, Hunter and his men walking away to get the rest of the Guards.

As they leave, my eyes glance over at Ella, and she turns her head away from me. Don't shut me out. I want to tell her, but I keep quiet, and hold the gun tighter.