Dean

Ella, Mark, and Carol come together and help Hunter stand up, before walking him over to Ella's bed and letting him sit down. Of course they'd put him on Ella's bed and not Carol's, what are the odds?

They begin to ask him if he has a plan, but I tune them out for the second time tonight. I don't want to hear anything that Hunter has to say, no matter if it will actually help us. I'm almost saddened that there's not blood running down his nose from me punching him. Too bad, I'm sure red just looks divine on him.

I can't help but think about the way kissing Ella made me feel, as I zone out from what's happening around me. I've wanted to kiss her for so long, so long, and it was better then I even imagined it.

Her lips were so soft, reminding me of the water she gets to drink that the base supplies, instead of when she was in the desert and they were chapped. Her skin smelt like the soap the base has, a smell I wasn't too fond of until now. Her body was molded to mine perfectly, and there was nothing else in the world I've ever enjoyed more, then kissing her. I want to do it again, and again, and again. I want to call her mine, to go on walks with her, to make her laugh so hard she gets those crinkles by her eyes. I want to be the shoulder for her to cry on, the one she comes to when she's down. I want to sleep next to her--like we did the other day with her laying on top of me. I want to hold her whenever I want, I want to be the man she deserves. I just want her.

I look over at her, finding her sitting next to Hunter. She loves him, I tell myself, even though it's platonic. She loves him because he was there for her when I was ignorant. When I was cruel to her. I pushed her down and Hunter pulled her up. He deserves her love. He deserves to kiss her. I don't even deserve to have her kindness, not after what I've done. I can only hope that someday she'll forgive me, that she'll see I never meant to hurt her like I did, I just wanted to forget about her. I can still remember the first time I seen her.

Two Years Before

The humans are strange. They're almost just like us, but yet, they aren't.

People stare at me in the halls, I can feel their eyes on me. I can see them behind me watching and staring. Is it so hard to accept that we are different and just forget about it? They've taken our brains and cut them up for research, not realizing we've lost so many of our people already. So many deaths with the process of coming here. We've left so many of our people to die on North, that they have no right to do this to us. However, it is their planet, so we have to abide by their rules.

I'm laughing at something Gerry tells me, a good friend of mine that was able to come with us on the journey to Earth. He was talking about how someone didn't lock the bathroom stall and he walked right in on them taking a crap. The horror in his face is enough for me, and I'm practically crying with how hard I'm laughing at his story.

As I'm walking down the hall, I can't help but catch a figure in the corner of my eye, standing beside the lockers. She's short, has long brown hair, and large brown eyes that seem to be staring back at me. I tell myself she's just staring because I'm an alien to her, that that's the only thing she sees me as. However, when my eyes meet hers, I find myself wondering if there's more to this beautiful girl then I can see, and I'm determined to find out.

Present Day

I remember seeing her. I remember thinking she was beautiful, but she was a human. They were cruel to us, cut open my people's brains for science. They didn't trust us at first, they treated us like the aliens we were. I thought she was the same, the same as the rest of them, but--oh--was I wrong.

She was different, and I would watch her during class. I would watch her choose her answers for her test. I would watch her laugh with Hunter. I was falling for her, slowly but surely, and it was dangerous for me.

I then just wanted her to say my name, to just hear what it would be like coming off her tongue. I began with teasing her. Her face would beam red, before she'd whine and say Dean, please stop. It fed me, her talking to me fed me, and it was making everything worse.

I'm a Norovian. I'm not supposed to care for a human, not like that. It's not allowed, not after what they did to a lot of people from our species. She was toxic for me, and I had to stop feeling this way towards her.

The teasing became cruel. I would call her names, I would say ignorant things to her that I never should have even thought, let alone uttered. I wanted to push her from my mind, I wanted to push her away from my heart. Being rude to her didn't work. Being rude only made me fall for her more.

I would deny liking her. I thought that I hated her, for she was on my mind constantly, and I only ever wanted to be ignorant to her. I know now, that I never hated her, that she was only on my mind because I cared about her. I cared about her, and I was afraid of what my species would say if they found out. I think this is the biggest reason I wanted to be a human. I could fall for Ella, and it would have been okay. She would have cared for me, too, without the horror that an alien was crushing on her. She made me feel human, she made me feel alive. Being ignorant to her never took my feelings away, it only increased them, and I regret the way I treated her more then anything else in the universe.

I remember looking for her when the asteroid was coming straight towards us. I remember finding her seat empty, and being glad, for maybe she was somewhere safe. I've been lying to myself for so long about how I feel about her, that it truly scares me. There were girls at school that were all over me, but they meant nothing. They didn't breathe fire into me like Ella did, they didn't give me that spark and attitude that she did. They just weren't Ella. They were humans that I would never risk the the shame of my family for. But for Ella, I'd gladly be exiled if it meant I could be with her. I never want to be separated from her, I never want to live a day without her, I never want to wake up without her. I never realized how much she meant to me, until now, and it scares me. It scares me, because I've realized something that I should have a long time ago.

I love her.

I don't know why it took me so long to see how deep my feelings went. I don't know why I denied it, I don't know why I did what I did, but that's all in the past. I can't change it, I can only hope she forgives me for it, because I love her. I truly love her.