New PoV for the penultimate chapter? 

:)

Everything is my fault.

No one quite knows everything I did, but I did a lot. Or as they try to convince me, the sculk did a lot. But it wasn't just the sculk. It was me. I did it. I let it control me and it destroyed the server. 

I limp through the healing camp, leaning on a stick I was given. It's been a couple weeks since they stopped the sculk's possession of me. I've been awake for 5 days. My injuries held me back, the deep scar across my chest and the cuts and bruises from fighting. Today's the first day I'm allowed out. 

El and Joe are with me, discussing TCG ('there's a CARD of me too?!'), helping me along as I stare at the different huts and builds where different hermits are... Doc, Mumbo and Iskall discussing the mechanical wings they're making for Grian... Etho, still in recovery, with Bdubs and Beef telling rubbish jokes, and then I see Cub, not too far away, deep in focus on a giant diagram I can't see. 

'Hey, Cub!' I call. He freezes. 

'Don't- do that.' He replies, voice shaking. I step back. 'I still... I'm sorry.' He turns. He's clearly exhausted, covering his arms and hands. I know he was possessed too.

I possessed him too.

'Sorry.'

'It's not you.' He can't look at me. 'It's the sculk. You just... remind me of... what it made you do. And what you made me do. What it made you tell me to do.' There's a scar across his cheek I know wasn't there before. One hand rises towards it. Did I do that?

'I'm sorry.' 

'Just... let me work here, man. Alone. Please.'

'Alright. Sorry.' I set off again, El and Joe not far behind. 

'Hey, it's alright X. Things'll take time. They're just used to... what you became. A lot's changed.'

Yeah.

A lot's changed indeed if you're getting friendship advice from your 'evil' brother.

'I... need some time alone.' I mumble. I barely hear their acceptance, walking away to find somewhere quiet.

It's not long until I reach the edge of the camp, ducking around the back where...

I'm not along. 

Grian's here.

'Hey, Grian.'

'X- I- I'm...' Grian's voice. Terrified. Of me. 'I'm just going.'

'Wait, please.' I move out the way as he leaves, folllowing. He turns, eyes wide. 'I'm not going to do anything to you. Seriously.'

'I know. I don't want to... I was just resting. Taking a break from... wings. I didn't want- I wasn't expecting to run into you. I thought... weren't you still recovering?'

'Yeah... I needed a rest. Can I stay here with you?'

'I've... got somewhere to be. Sorry.'

He runs away. I stare at him as he goes. He's terrified of me, I realise. Everyone is. The sculk turned me into a monster they can't unsee.

I was supposed to be looking after the server.

And I just turned into a monster and destroyed it.

Tears blur the world ahead. I can't get rid of them without removing my helmet. I don't want to remove my helmet where the hermits can find me. See the scarring the sculk left. See my face for the first time looking like this...

'Xisuma?'

'I'm fine.' I reply on instinct, not even considering who it is.

'What are you looking at?'

I glance over. It's Etho, looking worse than I've ever seen him before - eyes clouded slightly with pain, blood over his clothes, leaning on a stick for support. He's one of the last left recovering from his injuries.

'Nothing.'

'Are you feeling better?'

'Yeah.'

He looks over. I can't quite see his expression under his mask.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' I'm not lying; not dying any more is technically 'better'. Silence for a moment. 'How about you?'

'Still in pain... Stress isn't sure if I'll ever fully recover... y'know, with the whole getting mauled by sculk.' A laugh, cutting off quickly. 'It... it even hurts to laugh a bit.'

'I'm sorry. I did this to you. I... I did all of this.'

'I don't blame you.'

But I know he does. He can't stand next to me, knowing he might never walk properly or run normally or be as agile as previously ever again and not blame me for what I caused. He can't know he might always be in pain and be alright with it.

'I have to go.' I barely manage to say, walking quickly off to find somewhere alone to cry.

Life doesn't get easier.

My physical health improves, but mentally it only gets worse. I see the hermits' flinches and mutters, the state of the server, the fear of sculk, the nightmares, screaming, arguments, worries, sleepless nights, pain, worry about Ren and Pearl, trauma, and know if I wasn't an idiot, it would've never happened. If I'd never trusted the sculk, the server would still be ok. But it's only after a particularly excruciating conversation with Gem about Tango, Impulse and Pearl that I realise.

it's never going to get better.

And not just that. I'm making it worse. I'm a symbol of the sculk and what it did. The pain and fear... Half the server is scared of me. Half blame me. And the rest are lying to themselves.

I can't stay here.

And there's nowhere else to go.

So I have only one option.

My hands shake as I start writing the letters for every single hermit, stood at the top of the sculk-tower. For Elex, my brother. He'll be taking over. Apologies to everyone I hurt, possessed, traumatised, cause the death of. Every word is painful but cathartic. Most I rewrite once, or twice, or even more until I'm happy enough to move on to the next one. And the next. Until it's done.

You whispered to Elex Void: sculk tower.

It doesn't take long for him to arrive.

'Xisuma?'

'I... I didn't want it to come out like this.' I mumble, hand reaching for the latest draft of his letter. 'But... but there's no other way...' 

'...Xisuma?'

I turn to face him, holding the letter, tears clear beneath the helmet. 

'I can't do this anymore.' His eyes widen.

'Xisuma... you don't have to do this.'

'I do.' I flick into admin setting, press a few buttons until...

Player [Elex] admin

Gamemode set to Permadeath for player [Xisuma]

'Xisuma... brother...' His voice shakes, wiping away tears that refuse to go away.'You... you have other options. They'll understand. The hermits will get used to this... this isn't your fault. This isn't your fault!'

I step closer to the edge of the tower. 

'You're going to do great, Elex. I promise.'

'I don't care about me... you can't... I won't let you. I won't let you do this to yourself.'

Another step, hands raising to my head. A click and hiss as my helmet unlocks. I lay it on the table next to me.

'Give these to the hermits they're meant for. There's one for everyone.'

'X... please... Buddy, brother... I... I'm here, ok? I love you. You... We... I might've been f***ing horrible in the past but... but I love you. There's other options.' His face shines with tears. For a moment all I see is the brother I grew up with. 'Step away from the edge.'

'All they see is the sculk. I won't let it haunt them any more.'

'You can live in Hels-mitcraft with me. It's- it's different, but I'll protect you. Hels isn't that bad, and the rest do what he says. Or what I say. Just- just don't do it this way. Please. Anything else.'

I reach the window, the edge of the tower. I can't look down.

'I'm sorry.'

I hear his scream, his footsteps running forwards as I fall backwards.

Fall down.

Down.

Down.

Xisuma hit the ground too hard

:)