Pictures

Song: Begin Again- Rachel Platten

Friday night my parents invite people over for a cookout. I am being forced to be outside; I guess so they can keep an eye on me. I thought being grounded was to stay in my room...alone. I am not allowed to have friends over since I'm grounded, however Carter has a few of his friends over. They did remind me to be nice and put on a smile. I flash a fake smile to anyone that even looks my way. I can pretend that everything is fine if that is what they really want.

I think Carter probably said something to Daniel because when I come out of the house he comes over to me. "How's it going?" He sits down next to me.

"It's going." I look over at him with an all teeth showing smile.

It's like he sees right through me. "Coralie, you are like a sister to me you know that right?"

My smile slowly fades away as I glare over at him and roll my eyes, "Don't start in on me too."

"I'm not here to tell you what to do?"

"Then why the hell are you over here?" I snap. I have never snapped on Daniel...like ever but right now I don't want to hear what he has to say. I know Carter has already told him everything. I know they have no secrets between the two of them. He has been watching me at school just as much as all of Carter's other friends.

He looks disappointed. I hurt his feelings dammit. He is looking down and then he looks up and hands me his phone. "You should see this." There on the screen is a picture of me half naked. I'm in Tyler's bed...actually Tyler is beside me in the picture; he must have taken a selfie of the two of us. I look away biting my bottom lip. I don't know what to say. I have never imagined Daniel seeing me half naked or anyone else for that matter.

"Slide to the next one," he says calmly.

Shit there are more. I slowly slide to the next one and it's just me. The sheet is covering a part of me, but I'm completely naked underneath it. The sheet goes between my breasts, exposing one, and all the way down between my legs. You can't see all of me but you can tell I don't have on any panties. I'm out cold so I have no clue that the picture was even taken. I think back to the other night. I was drinking and popping pills and then the coke. I never imagined in my life that I would be like that but there I was, there was all the proof one needed to see how messed up I really was.

"Who else has seen these?" I barely choke out as my eyes fill with tears.

"It's going around fast...I'm sure half the school knows by now."

"What the hell....this isn't funny." Tears slowly streak down my cheek. This can't be happening...what the hell.

"No shit, why the hell were you with Tyler anyway...of all people why him?" He says it like I shouldn't be with anyone. 

I just shake my head as the tears continue to fall. I look up and Carter glares at me from across the pool and I know he freaking knows. I know he has seen them as well. He must think I'm some kind of tramp.

"Carter has seen these?" I whisper, choking on my own words.

"Pretty sure he has...so are you hooking up with Tyler or was it just a onetime thing?"

I don't answer him. I get up and I want to run up to my room but my parents are by the door, so I go to the pool house. I close the door behind me and scream into my hands as I cover my mouth. Seriously this so can't be happening. I'm crying hard as I sink to the floor with my back against the door. When I look up all I see is that damn daybed. I snap. Before I even know it, I get the candle from the bathroom and bring it to the bed, throwing it on top to watch it catch on fire. "Screw you Derrick you freaking ruined my life....I hate you," I cry out.

I go back outside and Carter and Daniel stop talking to look at me. I close my eyes for a second and then run into the house. But I don't go to my room. I go right out the front door, down the street and keep walking and I walk until I get to his house.

I end up at Tyler's; of course he is having a party. I burst into the door and I spot him in no time. I walk up to him and slap the shit out of him not  giving a shit what he or anyone else thinks. Everyone around us stops and stares. First of all this is his house, second of all no one stands up to Tyler and third its lots of drama for everyone to gossip about, not to mention to take more pictures of. Like I even care at the moment because nothing will ever compare to all the other pictures floating around. I go to hit him again but this time he grabs my hand before it reaches his face.

"Stop!" He says harshly. I'm surprised he doesn't hit me back. But his stare alone tells me I need to watch what I do next. It's like everything comes to a stand still and we are staring at each other to see what is going to happen next.

Cora screams out, "You stop! What the hell. Why did you show those pictures of us...Why?"

He doesn't respond with words, instead he grabs my hand and takes me to his room. I guess he wants to talk about this so others can't hear. I mean he would hate to ruin both of our reputations. When he shuts the door, I try to pull my hand out of his grasp, "Let go of me!"

"I will if you would just stop yelling."

"Fine." I stop fighting him. "Explain?"

He lets go of me and steps closer to me. "I'm sorry ok...I didn't mean for everyone to see it."

"Yeah sure...so you just wanted a few to see it and it got out to everyone else. What you didn't think people would share...really," I say critically.

He puts his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. He is trying to kiss me but I put my hands up between us and push away from him. "What are you doing?" I ask because first of all we are not a couple and we never were.

"Come on Cora...you know what you want. Why else are you really here?"

"Stop...I didn't come here for that." I manage to get out of his grasp. "I never meant to sleep with you the first time why in the hell would you think that is what I came here for?"

"So...you came here for a hit." He smiles at me. He takes off his necklace with a cross. He pulls it open a certain way and pours out white powder all over his desk.

"What's that?" I ask.

"It's called Special K...it's better than that other shit you were doing the other night." He smiles at me and gestures for me to come over to try it.

"What does it do?"

"What you want....to numb all the pain." He looks down at my hands and they are trembling like crazy.

I watch as he sniffs a small amount then he hands the small straw over to me. "Here Cora...I promise it will make everything go away."

I shake my head no. I am not here for this. My head keeps saying no but my body and Cora keep telling me to just do it, it will all be better in no time. "I didn't come here for that...I just want to know why the pictures. You know who my dad is...when he sees them he will be coming after you."

"I'm not worried about your dad...are you?" He looks down at the straw then to the fine powder. "Come on...I promise all worries will vanish...just try it."

It can't be any worse than cocaine . I tried it and it just made me feel all relaxed. What can it hurt...so I bend over and sniff a small amount. Maybe a little more than he did. I watch him sit on his bed and he pats the space beside him for me to come over. I really should be leaving but I go sit beside him or should I say Cora sits beside him. Ever since she has came along it's like she has more control over my body than I do.

I'm not sure how long I sit there but my head is dizzy and I feel like I'm going to fall out. I look around his room at all the posters and all the colors blend into each other...I mean all the colors, objects, everything...like a freaking Van Gogh painting. I want to close my eyes and every time I open them my vision seems to get worse. I feel so freaking dizzy. I just need to lie down, then I will feel better. I will just give me a few minutes. I don't know what happens next or how much time goes by. I can't recollect anything...I am numb all over.

When I start coming to, Carter is carrying me out of Tyler's house. Yes carrying me. How in the hell did he get here? How did he find me? Daniel is there and he helps Carter get me in his car and takes me home.

"Mom and dad are going to be so pissed off...you know that right?"

I don't respond back to him and he never says another word all the way home. By the time we are home, I'm awake more but I'm still out of it. He has to help me out of the car. I hear him tell Daniel to help him and they both help me. When we get in the house they are both standing there and the look they give me...SHIT!