◤ peonypaw ◥

♔ cisgender. she/her. ♔

♔ lithe cream seal point siamese she-cat with a plumy tail and greenish-blue eyes. ♔

♔ timid. anxious. gullible. kind. soft-hearted. trusting. likes climbing trees. likes collecting herbs. has a very good memory. fears death. naïve. faithful. level-headed. docile. ♔

◣ ❝ of the voices in my head, the loudest one is mine ❞ ◢

❦ story ❦

peonypaw had dreams.

ever since she was a kit, whenever she closed her eyes to sleep, murmurous voices in her head came to life, and starry-pelted warriors came, one by one, their faces indistinct but not unnatural. most of the time, she didn't know what they were saying, but they were welcoming, gentle, like guardians over peonykit. occasionally, she'd be able to catch a sentence or two from the sea of whispers.

whenever she closed her eyes, she found herself in the bright white meadows with twinkling stars buried in the ground, the river of liquid starlight bubbling and running away, carrying its life and its secrets downstream, the silver leaves on the argent trees brushing against one another to contribute to nature's voice. and there they were, starclan's warriors, waiting to share their quiet knowledge.

for this ability, peonypaw was apprenticed to the medicine cat, aspenrise. he taught her all that he could about healing and starclan, and peonypaw was a quick learner.

then the murmurs in her dreams started to seep into the waking world.

***

peonypaw sat in the medicine den, sorting the herbs as aspenrise had instructed: put all the dried up leaves in the discard pile, and sort the ones that could still be used to heal.

she inspected a marigold leaf. it was dry, but not so much to make it crackle when she nosed it. was it okay to use? she decided not to take the risk. hooking it up with a claw, she prepared to put it into the discard pile.

"that leaf will be fine. just soak it in some water to revive the juices."

peonypaw almost jumped out of her fur. she whisker around to see a transparent figure to her right, her paws not quite touching the leaves littered on the ground. aside from the see-through body and the floating, she looked like she could have been alive.

"w-what? who are you?"

the newcomer tilted her head. her hazel eyes focused on the cream pointed apprentice. "do you not often hear the voices of the dead in your dreams?"

"yes, but not when i'm awake! why are you here?"

"only to guide you, dear." the cat maneuvered herself by peonypaw's herb piles; her brown tabby pelt should have felt warm to the touch, but it was cold as night. "pansybright means no harm to you, peonypaw," she purred.

"o-okay." she settled down next to the ghost cat- she assumed her name was pansybright, but she didn't know why she spoke of herself in the third person- and went back to sorting herbs.

"how did you know that soaking a leaf would return some of its usefulness?" peonypaw questioned, and pansybright chuckled.

"pansybright is no medicine cat, but she knows a few tricks when it comes to herbs. in pansybright's time, warriors also had basic education about the plant life."

they finished sorting the herbs before aspenrise returned.

"that's all of them." peonypaw sighed with relief. "thank you, pansybright."

"you're most welcome." pansybright stood up and swished her tail. "permission to visit in the future?"

"of course." peonypaw smiled at the brown tabby she-cat, and she smiled back, her fur already fading away.

***

peonypaw would grow to wish that she'd denied pansybright's request.

over the moons, pansybright grew less friendly and more harsh on peonypaw. she critized the apprentice for every mistake she made- which peonypaw could sort of understand, since she needed to become a good medicine cat, and making mistakes could cost lives.

the problem was that pansybright also urged peonypaw to dedicate all her time to becoming the perfect medicine cat, which meant she'd have to sacrifice precious time with her friends. secretly, peonypaw thought perfection was impossible to attain, but she didn't say this to pansybright. she followed her instructions for long enough, and grew more and more... isolated.

all this, and peonypaw didn't argue; she was too timid to find her own tongue. but one day, pansybright pushed too far.

it was leaf-fall, and peonypaw was gathering herbs to stockpile for leaf-bare. she'd brought seablossom and coralwish with her; their kit should've been out hunting with their mentor anyways.

peonypaw was plucking a few yarrow stems off of a plant when coralwish let out a warning cry. peonypaw whirled around to see a fox looming over her.

"peonypaw, run back to camp for backup!" seablossom's growl roused peonypaw, and she started to get up.

"no, you can't!" a hiss rang in peonypaw's ear- pansybright's. "don't leave them to fight for you. you must help them!"

peonypaw's heart pounded. she had had close to no battle training, and only knew a few basic moves. but she answered back to seablossom anyways. "no, i can't just leave you two. i... i'll stay!"

the fox attacked, leaving no time for the two toms to argue. peonypaw launched herself at the beast, hoping she'd remember how to execute her attacks.

the cats darted in and out, swiping and running out of reach in blurs of fur. the fox's head swung left and right, not knowing who to attack.

but as peonypaw attacked again, she turned to run a second too slow, and the fox lunged, its fangs bared and ready to snap.

she froze, and for a second the world decelerated. then seablossom pushed her backward, and peonypaw could do nothing but watch, immobilized, as the fox's jaws clamped onto seablossom's shoulder.

coralwish yowled in outrage and slashed at the fox's eyes, his paws a whirlwind of fury, bringing revenge on the creature that had hurt his mate. the fox shook its head and dropped seablossom, then turned tail and loped off.

"seablossom! are you okay?" peonypaw fretted. "oh, i wish i had marigold or chervil-"

"it's fine, peonypaw. i can walk, so you can use the herbs in the stores." seablossom got to his feet, letting out a small grunt of pain. he swayed a little, but he could stand.

"seablossom, lean on me." coralwish braced his shoulder against his mate. then he looked up at peonypaw quizzically.

"oh, coralwish... i'm so sorry! i should've have tried to fight it..."

coralwish blinked, surprised. "i'm not mad at you, peonypaw. i'd be a fool not to commend your courage. just next time, leave the fighting to the ones who've trained for it, okay?" he glanced at seablossom. "besides, seablossom's a tough one. he'll be fine."

"darn right i'll be," seablossom huffed.

peonypaw snorted with amusement, but anxiety and suspicion pricked at her paws. if pansybright hadn't told her to stay, would seablossom even have gotten hurt in the first place?