◤ mottledpaw ◥

♔ cisgender. she/her. ♔

♔ long-furred, small, pale gray spotted tabby she-cat with very pale stripes, a white underside, white hind legs and forepaws and a white mask over her face. grayish-blue eyes. ♔

♔ clumsy. asocial. rarely speaks. defensive. can be ruthless. jumpy. rash. poker-faced. stubborn. determined. prideful. has a strong moral compass unless enraged. ♔

◣ ❝ counting days like numbers, they all pass their prime ❞ ◢

❦ story ❦

mottledkit wearily opened her eyes, having just woken from her slumber. two of the three queens were nowhere to be seen- probably just stretching their legs and sharing tongues with the warriors- and havenkit's cream pelt sat in a little ball, pressing against her own. she heard snoring somewhere to her right; without looking, she already knew it was skylark; the dappled brown she-cat's kits were due any day now, according to peonylinger, and as mottledkit twisted to see the queen, she spotted skylark sleeping on her back, her white belly bulging with unborn kits and her white-tipped tail twitching on occasion.

"hey, runt!"

mottledkit flinched and turned to the source of the sound. when the spotted gray kitten looked up, two older kits loomed, their shaggy pelts seemingly black, silhouetted with the sun on their backs.

"you awake? good." the speaker's gravelly voice boomed across the small nursery den. he bounded towards mottledkit, who was sleeping near the back wall. "get up, runt. petrelkit and i have taken it upon ourselves to get you into shape early. after all, you're such a midget."

"mottledkit is four moons younger than both of us, mouse-brain." petrelkit's meow- which unlike her brother's, had a surprisingly silvery ring- was sarcastic and dry.

"quiet, you." the cat on mottledkit's left jerked his head towards his companion, who reflexively took a swipe at his head. "calm down, rushkit, you bigoted bee-brain."

mottledkit heard rushkit scoff before his face turned back to mottledkit. "come on, she's even smaller than her brother!"

"maybe that's because she-cats are generally smaller than toms."

"she's the size of a moon-old kit!"

"she's not even four moons, and she is a midget, anyway. does it surprise you that kits are smaller when they're younger?"

"petrelkit, if you don't shut up right now-"

"if you try to order me around, i will strut right out of this den and fetch either wrensong or flowerjump." mottledkit saw petrelkit's head whip around to glare at rushkit.

rushkit growled something under his breath. "what about it, runt? you gonna train with us? you're gonna need all the help you can get."

mottledkit blinked her kit-blue eyes and gazed as rushkit's silhouette. "wrensong said that kits can only start training when they're six moons old."

"so what? it's not like we'll be finding you a mentor and dragging you to the gorge." rushkit leaned downwards, his face less than a whisker-length away from mottledkit's, close enough for her to distinguish the black pupil from his dark brown eyes. "we're just gonna play-fight. you and me." rushkit's breath tickled mottledkit's muzzle, and she tried not to cringe away.

"um... what about petrelkit?"

"yeah, what about me, brother?" petrelkit's contemptuous meow rang out above mottledkit's head. "you're being so considerate right now!"

"what if i don't want to go with you?" nervously, mottledkit slowly dragged herself to her feet. she could feel her bushy fur standing up and bristling.

rushkit's lip curled in a sneer. "then i'll take you anyway. i can overpower you easily, and when i do, you'll see why you needed the extra help." with a quick sweep of his head, the older tom stole mottledkit's scruff in his jaws.

a squeal of surprise and pain escaped mottledkit as rushkit's teeth dug into her skin. her paws dragged on the ground as rushkit lifted his head.

"havenkit, wake up!" mottledkit cried.

"mmph... what?" mottledkit's brother unfurled from his ball and blinked. his eyes shot wide open as he spotted his sister in rushpaw's jaws.

"wh- get away!" havenkit, undeterred by rushkit's size, darted forward to bite down on rushkit's foreleg. hard.

"ow!" rushkit let out a cry of pain, releasing mottledkit in the process. scrabbling her paws on the ground, mottledkit pushed herself away from rushkit.

petrelkit stared at rushkit for a split second, then turned on havenkit and bared her ivory-white fangs. "don't attack my brother like that, you-"

"and just what do you think you're doing?"

rushkit and petrelkit whipped around to see a beautiful she-cat standing a tail length away from the nursery entrance, her silky ivory fur rippling with anger. her dark brown muzzle was screwed in a snarl, chestnut ears flattened, fluffy, rounded umber tail lashing back and forth. her ruddy blue eyes were slitted and narrowed, and as she stepped forward, mottledkit noticed for the first time that although her legs were brown, her feet were pure white.

"i told you not to disturb the little ones!" flowerjump reached her kits in mere moments and took rushkit by the scruff, giving him a quick tug away from the smaller kits.

"they're too young to play with you; your games are too rough for two moon old kits. do you understand?"

petrelkit shot a discreet glare of contempt her brother's way. "yes, flowerjump."

"now go outside. i don't want to see you bothering the little ones again." flowerjump turned away, her bushy tail whisking back and forth. "what will slatedusk say when i tell him how boisterous and mouse-brained you've become?"

flowerjump stalked away, and petrelkit followed, but rushkit shot back an angry glance at mottledkit before he slunk away.

"are you okay?" havenkit's whisper reached mottledkit's ears only after all three cats were out of earshot.

before mottledkit could reply, a new shape slid into the nursery. mottledkit caught a glimpse of bright red fur before the warm, familiar scent of her mother tickled her nose.

"oh, starclan, are you alright? did they hurt you?" wrensong's low, lyrical meow was laced with worry.

"yeah, we're fine-" havenkit's reassurance fell on deaf ears as wrensong ranted on.

"flowerjump knows her kits have always been rough; she or slatedusk should keep a closer eye on them! oh, maybe i should get hemlockdawn to have a word with them..."

"wrensong, we're fine." mottledkit piped up. "neither of us are hurt."

"and you're lucky not to be." wrensong took a shuddering breath. "well, as long as you're okay, i suppose... we just need to make sure that this doesn't happen again."

***

"psst! mottledkit!"

it was moonhigh; the camp was completely silent except for the crickets' chirping and the whistle of the breeze. wrensong, flowerjump and skylark were all fast asleep, and so were the rest of the kits: havenkit slept soundly at wrensong's curved belly, and skylark's litter of two nuzzled at their mother's warm fur. petrelpaw and rushpaw didn't sleep here anymore; they had been apprenticed two moons ago, just after martenkit and kingfisherkit were born.

but then, why was it rushpaw's hiss that mottledkit's ears had just picked up?

"mottledkit, it's us, petrelpaw and rushpaw." petrelpaw's softer voice followed her brother's. "are you awake?"

"mm... yeah," mottledkit mumbled. she looked up to see the two familiar silhouettes at the den's entrance. "what are you doing here?"

"we wanna show you something cool. you with?" rushpaw raised his head. "mind you, we're not gonna offer a second time."

"you'll be safe with us," petrelpaw added. "if an owl finds us, we'll fight it off!" she made a batting motion in the air with her paws.

"... how do i know i can trust you?" mottledkit's claws slid out of their sheaths as she remembered the rough handling she had received the last time she and rushpaw had spoken.

"aw, come on. i'm not gonna throw you off the gorge if you wanna leave." rushpaw's voice changed to a dramatic moan. "besides, we're gonna go even if you don't wanna come with."

"it's good to break a few rules once in a while anyway, cleanpaw." petrelpaw slipped into the den to stand in front of mottledkit. "although," she added in a low voice, "being as wild as rushpaw would not be a good idea."

don't you assist him in all his antics? but out loud, mottledkit didn't critique petrelpaw.

"alright. i'll come with you... if only to keep you two out of trouble."

petrelpaw nudged mottledkit with her nose, purring with amusement. "get up, then, cleanpaw. when you're apprenticed, breaking the rules will be a lot harder, so it's best to get some practice in. hornetstar won't punish a kit."

"midget won't be apprenticed for some time, i'd say," rushpaw called. "she's still barely half the size of havenkit!"

"rushpaw-" petrelpaw cut herself off. "what a nuisance," she murmured. "alright then, mottledkit. let's go. try not to tread any tails."

***

"here, rushpaw, i found it."

dawn had yet to come, but the moon shone brighter than ever, illuminating petrelkit's pale brown pelt and rushkit's black and white one; their fur looked silvery in the moonlight. the leaf-bare night was cold; mottledkit had spent the journey pressing into petrelpaw's thick fur. the older she-cat hadn't said anything, but she caught rushpaw's occasional glance, as if he were judging or silently criticizing her.

now, petrelpaw crouched in front of something mottledkit couldn't quite see under her shadow. mottledkit crouched too, not just to get more of petrelpaw's warmth, but to see what exactly she had found.

mottledkit heard rushpaw's footsteps draw closer to petrelpaw and herself. "you found it?"

"that's what i said."

"'kay. see here, mottledkit," rushkit addressed mottledkit now, "is the... petrelpaw, what's its name?"

"dunno. do i look like a medicine cat?"

petrelpaw shuffled to the left to give mottledkit more room, and mottledkit moved into the space... and now she could just barely see what this special something was. in a shaft of dim moonlight was a small, slightly wilted plant with green leaves- but these leaves were speckled all over with what looked like powdery white.

"it's...?" mottledkit couldn't think of anything to say. "how-"

"we just found this yesterday on accident," petrelpaw spoke up, "while we were supposed to be practicing our fighting moves."

"pretty cool, isn't it?" rushpaw barged past petrelpaw, who let out an indignant grunt, and promptly plucked off one of the leaves and dropped it at mottledkit's paws. "now eat it."

it took mottledkit a moment to process rushpaw's words. "what?"

"i wanna see if this weird leaf has any special properties," rushpaw meowed. "could be a special leaf or something. and if anyone needs extra help, it's you."

"rude," petrelpaw muttered under her breath.

mottledkit stared at rushpaw. he didn't look like he was joking.

"you really think this leaf could be special?"

"come on, just look at it! you've gotta admit you've never seen anything like it." rushpaw stepped back to petrelpaw's side.

mottledkit didn't move, but for some reason, her muscles twitched with wanting to move. was that only because rushpaw had told her to?

"... are you sure it's not actually poisonous?" mottledkit was only stalling for time, but as she asked the question, she realized that it was something she should've asked earlier; neither petrelpaw nor rushpaw knew anything about plants and their effects, much like the majority of the warriors.

"you scared?" petrelpaw looked down on mottledkit, who stared at the leaf, refusing to meet her gaze. "ah, jeez." the pale brown tabby extended a paw and pressed the leaf down. she raised her other forepaw, and with a deft strike, split the leaf in half. pushing herself onto her haunches, she pierced one half with a claw and brought it to her mouth. within a few moments, she'd swallowed the piece.

"look, cleanpaw, we're not trying to kill you or anything," the classic tabby meowed. "see? i had half, now you have the other. see if it does anything special."

mottledkit looked up at petrelpaw. the older she-cat yawned, widely enough for mottledkit to see that none of the white-flecked leaf remained hidden in her mouth.

well, if she did it, then it's okay for me too, right?

mottledkit stepped forward and sniffed the leaf. it had no distinct scent. hesitantly, she plucked it softly off the ground... and bit into it.

the bitter juices of the leaf trickled into her mouth, and she screwed up her face. but she didn't want to spit it out; after all, petrelpaw had finished her half. she chewed, and then gulped, and then it was finished.

"feel any different?" rushpaw asked. his dark brown eyes seemed to gleam as he stared at the tiny kit.

"um..." mottledkit felt a tingle in her throat. "..."

"speak up, midget!" rushpaw's intense glare pierced mottledkit... when she tried to speak... she couldn't? her throat had constricted out of panic.

"well, i, for once, don't feel any different, except for the fact that that thing didn't taste very good and i need to drink some water." petrelpaw stood up and tossed her head. "come on, let's go back. mottledkit-" the blotched brown she-cat looked back at mottledkit, whose wide eyes were still transfixed on rushpaw, her mouth open but silent. "uh, mottledkit?"

mottledkit let out a cough. "...!" then more exploded out of her, and in a split second, mottledkit was crouched on the ground, coughing uncontrollably.

"what happened?" petrelpaw turned on rushpaw. "what did you do to that accursed leaf?"

"wh- i didn't do anything, mouse-brain! you ate some of it, too!"

petrelpaw growled. "well, then tell me what's going on!"

before rushpaw could snap back a retort, petrelpaw cut him off. "not now, you fool." petrelpaw's voice was a low growl. "run back to camp and fetch peonylinger. i'll take mottledkit with me."

rushpaw hesitated. "but then-"

"just do it!"

mottledkit thought that, in that moment, petrelpaw sounded a lot more like rushpaw than she did herself.

rushpaw growled, then raced off, his paws thumping against the forest floor.

petrelpaw picked up mottledkit by the scruff, careful not to let her teeth prick mottledkit's skin. mottledkit's coughing had not ceased, and her body flew around in petrelpaw's jaws, but she had a firm enough hold to keep the kitten from dropping. without saying anything, she began to carry mottledkit home.

***

mottledpaw grew quiet.

with the exception of her parents, and peonylinger, who had nursed her for three moons after mottledkit had gotten sick from eating the leaf, mottledpaw rarely spoke to any cat outside of her age group. peonylinger had said that her throat might've been damaged if the plant was harmful, but privately, mottledpaw just didn't feel like speaking with most other cats.

mottledpaw could hear rushpaw's barbed comments when he thought no one else was listening. she knew that he considered her weaker than a rabbit for not being able to stand eating a random plant, and that now he scorned her more than ever.

perhaps that was the reason why, when petrelpaw had come to peonylinger's den the night after the incident for tansy and horsetail sprigs, she kept glancing around as if she was afraid of being followed.

mottledpaw did want to speak to petrelpaw more. she knew that petrelpaw, having also eaten half of the leaf, was trustworthy. but she was always with her brother, and whenever rushpaw saw her, he would fire a barrage of insults and belittlements.

so mottledpaw kept her distance.

she knew that rushpaw only valued the strongest ones, the ones who could fight off anything, defeat any opponent. and mottledpaw didn't feel the need to 'prove herself' to a cat like rushpaw.

until she did. and it was a total accident.

(... yeah i'm saving that scene for the winners chapter, so it's gonna have to be a two-parter. sry guys but i need to publish this thing i'm way over schedule)