Hoseok POV

My heart pounded in time with the rhythm of the music, beating fast and hard as I sat in my usual booth. It felt like it was syncing with the pulse of the song as Roxy climbed the pole in front of me. I would normally be enjoying watching the show in front of me but tonight my attention was elsewhere. Instead, my mind was preoccupied with the decision I'd made earlier today.

I'd been a regular patron at Copacabana since it relocated to Lenox Hill. And for the first time in all those years, I'd requested a private dance from Lola. I had loved the handful of lap dances I'd received from her over the past few weeks but I needed something different. Something more.

I could already picture the intrigue and surprise in her eyes as her boss relayed my request to the stunning, curvaceous showgirl. Sure, I'd been coming here for years— it was both situated in my turf, as well as a neutral ground to talk business —but I had never allowed myself to give in to my desires like this before.

Lola had caught my attention the moment I first laid eyes on her delectable body my first time here. Over the years, her wide hips, perky breasts, bee-stung lips and captivating eyes were prominent features in my erotic dreams and fantasies.

Because I was insanely attracted to her—and maybe even low-key in love—I couldn't risk putting her in danger if she became known as my favourite here. Time and again, I reminded myself that being the leader of the Blue-Side Serpents was dangerous enough. If anything happened to Lola because of who I was, I'd never forgive myself.

But I was weak.

Instead of giving in to my impulses, I chose to spend time with the one showgirl I felt completely indifferent toward. Venus was tall and very thin with big fake tits. Despite her beauty, she didn't arouse me in any way. Plus, her clinginess and constant need for attention made her downright irritating.

I figured keeping the girl I wasn't interested in close would keep Lola out of harm's way. Hell's Pirates and The Brotherhood were already eager to put a target on my back, given that I controlled the largest share of Manhattan. And with the gang from Queens—going by the ridiculous name Doom Posse—trying to muscle in on our territory, my guard was up even higher.

To make matters worse, I found out last week that someone had been snitching to the Feds. Red Velvet, being the trigger-happy psychotic bitch she is, wanted to round up all our suspects and shoot them... including Venus. I'd somehow managed to convince my second-in-command to put a pin in that plan. Although, just because I was the boss, it didn't mean Irene always listened to me.

But if the skinny blonde showgirl was involved, I wanted nothing to do with her. Ever since I stopped making requests for Venus, she had practically started stalking me, hoping I'd shower her with money again.

"Nope, don't even think about getting close," I muttered under my breath as I spotted said showgirl sauntering toward me. "You were just a placeholder for the one who makes my heart race."

"Big Jay I've missed ya," Venus practically purred, sliding onto my lap uninvited. The feel of her bony, scantily clad body on my thighs made me want to grimace in disgust. "Y'all haven't been requestin' me, Sugar.'

"I've been busy. I don't think it's a good idea to only request you to dance for me anymore," I said, trying to ease the rejection so she wouldn't create a scene. "And I'm not your 'Sugar.' Never was, never will be."

I could have told her outright that I wasn't attracted to her and that my heart had always belonged to someone else. But I wasn't that blunt. I had earned a reputation for being a ruthless gang leader that takes no bullshit. But what people didn't know was that was all Irene's doing, not mine. Sure, I was ruthless in the gang's business dealings, but it was Red Velvet who made it clear to everyone that Big Jay was the one who sanctioned all the horrific actions of the Serpents.

From the moment I was born into this gang life, it was clear that my duty was to take over after my father's death. I've been the boss of the Serpents for over a decade, but that title doesn't define me. Beneath the façade of guns, violence, death, and control, I'm just a frightened boy yearning for someone to love me for who I truly am and to reassure me that I'm enough.

But who was I kidding? No one could ever love the infamous Big Jay. I didn't love myself or the person I had become... so why would anyone else?

"The private room is ready for you now, Sir," one of the bouncers said as he approached my table. "If you would follow me, I'll take you there. Lola will be joining you shortly."

As I stood up, the blonde showgirl tumbled to the floor—I'd completely forgotten that Venus had made my lap her seat. That's how easily she had faded from my mind. I muttered a sarcastic, "Oops, sorry," as I began to follow the man in the black suit and tie that the other bouncers wore.

With each step I took, Venus's voice grew louder. I could hear her screeching about how it wasn't fair and insisting that she was better than Lola in every way. A smile tugged at my lips as I thought about the time I was about to spend with the little lamb who had captured my soul.

︵‿୨ 🌸 🖤 🌸 ୧‿︵

Chloe POV

"Lola, Big Jay wants to see you," Seokjin said, finding me in the back room. "He's in room 3."

I let out a heavy sigh, resting my head against the plush couch. I had finally managed to take a short break and was planning on relaxing for a few minutes. Between my performances on stage, the dances in the private rooms and the lap dances at the tables, I had been run off my feet tonight.

"Ugh," I groaned, rubbing my sore muscles. "I much preferred it when Venus was his favourite."

"Hey, at least it's not his lackey..." Jin chuckled as he settled on the armrest beside me. "I mean, who comes up with the nickname 'Shirtless Shrimp' all on their own?"

I shrugged, shaking my head. I was used to the quirky nicknames that came with the territory of dealing with gangsters. But honestly, I was lucky; the ones who frequented Copacabana were friendly and respectful to us showgirls. The best part, though? They tipped like it was an Olympic sport.

"Please tell Big Jay I'll be out to see him soon," I said to Seokjin as I reached for my heels, ready to slip them back on.

"Is this new?" he asked, halting my movement with a gentle grip on my wrist. He turned it to catch the light, watching the crystals dance with a mesmerizing sparkle.

I smiled, glancing at the beautiful bracelet Taehyung had gifted me during our lunch date. While my love languages leaned toward physical touch and quality time, my boyfriend's was all about giving gifts. It always made me a bit uneasy; receiving gifts from him reminded me of how my mother expected lavish presents from my stepfather. She thrived on flaunting her treasures, while I found true joy in moments that money couldn't buy.

Throughout our relationship, I tried to explain to Taehyung that I didn't need material things to feel his love. But every time, he misunderstood, thinking I was rejecting him and his affection. Eventually, it felt easier to accept his gifts than to face the argument that would inevitably follow if I refused. It made him happy, after all. Yet each time he presented me with something extravagant, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was right back at work—the place where men paid for the chance to see my body and earn my attention.

"Yeah, Tae gave it to me today," I replied, letting out a sigh. "Before he asked if I saw marriage and kids in our future."

Jin winced, his usually radiant features shadowed by concern. As one of my closest friends, he understood my feelings about having children all too well. "What did you say?"

Just then, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. Roxy was glaring at me, her expression sharp enough to cut. She had never liked me from the moment she came to work here, so this wasn't the first time I was on the receiving end of her animosity. As stunning as she was, Roxy—known as Natalie Kimura outside of work— had an ugly heart.

I rolled my eyes. The day, which had been so promising when I'd woken up, was getting worse and worse.

"Jinnie, can we talk about this without prying ears around?" I asked, slipping on my stilettos.

He nodded and pulled me into a side hug. "Sure thing, Doll. How about we grab pancakes after work? I'll even take you to that place with the peanut butter ice cream you love."

A smile spread across my face as I nodded enthusiastically. He knew exactly how to win me over—peanut butter paired with pancakes, bacon, and syrup was a weakness I could never resist.

⋆⁺₊⋆ 🖤 ⋆⁺₊⋆

After changing into a more comfortable satin and lace babydoll, I navigated the back corridors toward the private rooms. Seokjin had mentioned that Big Jay hadn't requested any drinks, so I was relieved I didn't have to make a stop at the bar first.

I loved working at Copacabana, but some nights felt more draining than others. Tonight was definitely one of those nights.

Ever since Tae had brought up the topic of children during our date earlier, I'd been in a funk. Back when we were in the 'getting to know you' stage of our relationship, I had been clear about my desire to never have kids. He had been understanding then, but it seemed he either forgot or believed he could change my mind.

As I reached the door of room 3, I took a deep breath, forcing myself to clear my mind. I was here to entertain and fulfil a fantasy, not to bring my personal issues into work. I raked my fingers through my long brown hair, giving it a boost of volume. After a final check of my outfit, I knocked three times on the door before twisting the handle.

Inside, Big Jay lounged in the middle of the long couch. I couldn't deny he was a striking man, especially with his legs sprawled out in a confident manspreading pose. He was a walking contradiction; the ruthless gang leader persona clashed with his almost angelic face. His smile, shaped like a heart, felt entirely misplaced for someone who took lives for a living.

"Big Jay, it's nice to see you again," I said as I stepped fully into the room and pressed the 'occupied' button on the wall. "Do you have any requests for your time here?"

He gestured for me to join him on the couch. Since he was paying for my time, I moved closer. It wasn't unusual for patrons to invite one of us showgirls to sit while they discussed what they wanted to see.

"First of all, please call me Hoseok," he said, his smile warm and inviting, transforming him from a gang boss into a relatable man my age. "Also, do you mind if we just sit and chat?"

I was taken aback by his request. I'd performed countless private dances for patrons, but never had one asked simply to talk. After the day I'd had, the thought of sitting down sounded like pure bliss.

"That's okay with me, Hoseok," I replied with an exhausted sigh. "Would you like a drink? I can arrange for something to be brought here." He nodded, and I tapped the tablet on the wall to place the order.

While we waited for our order to arrive, we engaged in small talk. This was the part of private shows I dreaded most; I was never very good at small talk, and it usually made me feel uneasy. But with Hoseok, it felt different—like chatting with an old friend I'd known for years. If I'd met him at a bar, I'd never have guessed he was the leader of a dangerous gang.

A knock on the door signalled that our order had arrived. I quickly made my way to the other side of the room and pulled in the gold cart that one of the waitresses had delivered with a bright smile.

"I thought we were just having drinks," Hoseok said with a laugh, eyeing the cart piled with plates of food.

"I hope you don't mind. I missed my dinner break this evening and I also know you order food around this time, too." I felt a blush creep into my cheeks as I made the admission.

"It's nice to know you watch me as much as I watch you," he chuckled. "And no, Little Lamb, I don't mind at all."

I wheeled the cart over to the small coffee table. After disinfecting it with wipes from the corner—because you never knew if another girl had just been dancing on it—I began to set down the plates and drinks on the sturdy wooden surface. I handed Hoseok his favourite drink: a spiced rum cocktail with roasted pineapple and fresh lime. I couldn't help but smile at the extra-large glass of Dr Pepper I'd gotten for myself.

"Wow, you have great taste in ordering," Hoseok remarked as I lifted the silver cloches off the plates. I had been so hungry that I hadn't even paid attention to what I'd ordered. "Yum, I love nachos and chicken wings." The way he moaned and danced after biting into a wing was adorable.

I smiled and grabbed one for myself. While Copacabana was known for its drinks, the food was just passable. I didn't usually get anything to eat from here, preferring to either bring something in or put an order in for takeout.

Hoseok and I must've been hungrier than I realised—or maybe the new guy Seokjin hired to run the kitchen was better than the last—because we polished off both plates in no time. I grabbed my glass of soda and leaned against the armrest of the sofa. A glance at the clock revealed I still had over 40 minutes left of my booking.

"I really needed this today," I said with a sigh, more to myself than to him.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow, silently prompting me to elaborate. When I didn't, he asked, "You look more tired than usual. Bad day?"

I let out a huffed laugh. Here I was, supposed to be dancing to turn him on, and instead, he was concerned about my day after we'd just shared a meal. "You could say that. But I'm not here to unload my problems on you."

"What if I wanted you to?" he asked, setting his half-full glass back on the table. "May I?"

I followed his gaze to my aching feet, trapped in those sky-high shoes. "I didn't peg you, Mr. Big Bad Gang Leader, as the type with a foot fetish," I teased.

"Not one of my kinks, Little Lamb." I giggled at the way he bit his lip as if he was trying to keep the secrets to his fetishes inside. "But when I spend time with a beautiful woman who's clearly had a rough day, I like to help ease her worries. Even if it means giving her a foot massage."

"Why 'Little Lamb'?" I asked as I shifted to place my feet on Hoseok's thigh.

He began unclasping the ankle strap and slid the shoe off my foot. Instantly, I felt a wave of relief. "You don't like it?" he asked, glancing up.

"I never said that."

"Well good." I had to stifle a moan as his thumbs began kneading the balls of my feet, triggering the sore muscles and massaging the pain away. "To answer your question, it's because you seem too innocent to be working here. Plus, you have the most beautiful pale skin... like a newborn lamb."

"My mother would completely disagree with you about my innocence," I said with a sardonic laugh. "The way she talks about strippers, you'd think we all fuck devil every night. Between my job and the fact that I'm my father's daughter, she believes I'm destined for hell." I rolled my eyes and added, "Her disowning me was a blessing in disguise. Now I don't have to deal with her born-again beliefs anymore."

Hoseok's hands stilled for a moment before resuming their soothing ministrations. "I don't know your mother, and based on that brief description, I'm glad I don't. But out of everyone I've met here in New York, you're one of the few I genuinely believe won't be joining me down there in the afterlife. You have a pure heart, unlike me."

He paused, his expression shifting as he continued. "I wasn't born into a loving family either. My mother was a crack addict who overdosed not long after I was born. My father was The Eagle, a man who instilled fear in everyone. He built the Blue-Side Serpents on a foundation of fear, death, and destruction."

I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed silent, giving Hoseok the space to decide if he wanted to share more. It didn't take long before he continued.

"When my father died and I took over, I tried to lead in a way that minimised the number of bodies left in my wake. My father was trigger-happy, with a 'shoot first, ask questions later' mentality. I prefer to gather all the information before I make a move. I don't have a pure heart, but I try to live each day repenting for the pain my existence has caused."

Hearing Hoseok's story shifted my perception of him. I realised that Big Jay was merely a façade he presented to the world. While he could have been bullshitting me, the honesty in his eyes told a different story. Feeling comfortable in his presence, I opened up and shared my own life—my parents, the debt I'd accumulated that wasn't mine, and my conversation with Taehyung about kids.

By the end of the hour I'd been booked for, I felt like I had a new friend—someone who truly understood me. Unlike others who had expressed pity when I spoke of losing my father, Hoseok didn't look down on me. And not once did he judge the choices I'd made.