I felt so much that I started to feel nothing.

.

"I'm going to wake them up."

"Don't you dare."

"Kitty's going to splash them, if I don't."

"Hurt my ship, Daniel, and I swear I will stab you."

"Oh yes. Give me death."

"What time is it?"Matteusz yawned as he rubbed his eyes. He wasn't sure of where he was or what exactly was going on. He remembered though going to Kitty's party with Ram and April but he couldn't quite understand how he had now found himself laying on the grass. Once his vision was clear, his eyes laid on Dan and Skye Howell, both of which grinned happily.

"Rise and shine, cupcake."Skye smiled"Did you get busy last night?"

"Skye!"

"What? Look at them!"at that moment, Matteusz realized why he felt heavier. Charlie was spooning him, eyes closed and legs on the other boy, Matteusz couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing happened."

"Boo."Skye whispered yelled before quickly adding"At least it's nice knowing that you didn't take advantage of him."

"Yes but if you could wake up his majesty, that would be great."Dan continued less amused"We have places to be and boredom to kill."

"And probably four very drunk teenagers to babysit."

Matteusz nodded while stroking Charlie's hair to wake him up. Dan frowned in response as Skye glared at him for ruining her ship's moment. The smaller boy let out a sound hard to identify-beside Skye's comment that it was a moan-and seemed to be falling even more asleep. Then as if the universe was returning a favor to Dan, the sprinklers came on making the four teens wet.

"Well, this is definitely the highlight of my day."

.

"We should have stayed at home, lay down for a while and maybe have some tea. That's what normal people do when they have hangovers."Brendon complained as he put his emergency sunglasses on.

"We were never normal."Dan laughed and continued driving. Quinn was half asleep on Brendon's shoulder while Charlie gazed outside the window lost in his thoughts. Newt remained silent and played with the end of his dress.

"Does anyone even remember what happened last night?"Dan questioned finally ending the awkward silence"I mean, I remember meeting Phil's friends and how Phil and I went looking for the rest of you but what happened after that? Because Phil--"

"Fun drinking game, drink a shot every time Dan talks about Phil."Skye chuckled and cut him off. Dan flipped her off with a grin and continued driving.

"I remember drinking and some pinning."Quinn blurted out"Lots of drinking actually."

"Oh yes, you drank an entire barrel of beer but on the bright side, you managed to win the drinking contest."Dan told her"Also both Noah and Rachel Puckerman were hitting on you but stopped when you threw up on Noah's shirt."

"It was beautiful."Skye commented.

"You were also quite drunk at this point and too busy shagging with Grant Ward."Dan shot back"Which I think wasn't part of your original plan.

"You don't know that."Skye replied"Plus it's not like--"

"I kissed Matteusz."

"I think I'm gay."

"I had sex last night and the guy thought I was a girl."

Dan hit the brakes, luckily they were very close to their destination, and both he and Skye turned behind them with their jaws open. The pair opened their doors and went to talk behind the car. Quinn also opened her door letting Brendon and Charlie out. Newt sighed and followed them."Aren't we going to talk about this?"

"Nope. Not right now. Nah. You can't make me!"Dan yelled and walked in the forest.

"We'll talk about this once we reach the tree house."

.

Many years had passed since the last time the entire gang was gathered in their tree house, but luckily after the small visits Skye and Dan payed to it-along with a tiny renovation-it still stood there proud as ever. Newt was the first to climb up and the first thing that captured his attention was the little sign Brendon had made. He laughed and got inside.

"Come on, cool kids!"

"That thing is still up there?"Brendon laughed and followed Quinn up. Skye patted Charlie's back and encouraged him to come up. The blonde boy nodded and began climbing. Skye then turned to Dan with a grin.

"We stick together, right?"

"Until the very end."he smiled and the two of them finally made their way to the tree house. Charlie was moving from room to room with a huge smile at the sight of the house plants. Dan and Skye smiled."We tried to keep them all but we lost a dandelion last winter."

"You guys are the best."

"Oh we know."Skye grinned"Now sit down your butts because we have somethings to talk about."

"No, not me."Quinn replied.

"You too, Blondie. This isn't just about yesterday."Dan told her as he sat down. Skye motioned her hands for the rest of the group to also sit. Dan sighed uncertain of whether he was truly ready to have that talk with his friends."I didn't talk to you last year."he stated and looked at Quinn"I didn't hang with you, I pretended we weren't even at the same school. I hard some girls making fun of you and I ignored it."

"Dan--"

"And Charlie,"he continued and turned to Charlie"I didn't come to your parents funeral. Nor did I come to their death's anniversary. I saw you being bullied everyday for being gay and even if I knew how many problems you had, I chose to do nothing."

"Why does it matter now?"Charlie asked, slightly angry"We're fine now."

"Only we shouldn't be fine now. We've changed. We can't just UN-pause, life went on."Dan explained"There's a reason why I'm doing this now and that reason is yesterday. You may have heard the rumors, you may even realized it yesterday but the truth is that I drink."

"We don't mind."Brendon told him.

"No, you don't understand. I'm an alcoholic and a smoker. My lungs, my liver, neither is in a very good condition and who knows how long will they last? I drink everyday and sometimes I even pass out. If I managed to get drunk, I do stupid and reckless things. For God's sake, one time I slapped Skye!"he yelled in frustration"I didn't accept neither Charlie nor Quinn once things got difficult because I'm weak. But I don't want your pity. If, however, you still want me. If you can look past all these flaws. I need to know that you're going to stay this time."

There was silence after that. Dan expected that to be honest. Everyone-including himself-chose to leave when things would get difficult. No one wants to be tied down, everyone wants freedom and being able to just close the door and leave if they feel like it.

"I'm not a girl."Newt blurted out making the group look at him"This hasn't changed from when I was younger. I like wearing girly clothes and do things that girl like but I am still a boy and for a long time I thought this was okay. You taught me that being myself was okay."he continued and turned to Charlie"But then I lost you, or maybe you lost me. I didn't mean it."

"I know."Dan smiled sadly.

"People in my new town weren't really accepting. It was a bigger town, though, so I met some people who were boys and dressed like me. But they weren't nice-they told me if I didn't identify as a girl and wore girly clothes I was weird. My classmates thought I was weird. So did my parents. My dad used to even beat me when I'd go to the woman section in stores. Then, of course Sonya was born and he was too busy being happy to pay attention to me. My mother just did no longer thought I was her child. When I got older, my classmates began hitting me and calling me names. I just wanted to go back, you know? I didn't even get to say goodbye to you."

"Yeah, you asshole."Skye said as she sniffed her nose and wiped a small tear about to form.

"Yesterday, I met a guy. His name was Thomas."

"I remember a Thomas."Quinn stated"We competed against each other in the drinking contest. He was wasted, even more than me."

"I should have known."Newt told her before continuing"He flirted with me and called me beautiful. No one has called me beautiful, except you guys. Not even then did I realize he was actually very drunk. What person right in their mind would call me beautiful?"

"Newt, sweetheart--"Skye began but Newt shook his head.

"After it happened, I was ecstatic. My first time-even if I was slightly drunk-had finally happened. The next morning he woke up and realized his terrible mistake. I'm sorry, do we have any alcohol?"

"I have a stash of Capri Suns."

"Give me one."Skye smiled and handed him a Capri Sun from under the bed. Newt drank some of it and continued"He told me that he had every right to have been confused because I was wearing a dress. Why would a non-girl wear a dress? Then he left disgusted and I was left without any clothes or my dignity left."

"Why didn't you tell us? I would have kicked his ass."Dan told him.

"You were all asleep, I guess it was better that way."he took another sip of the Capri Sun"Anyway, that was my sad story and my promise that I'm not leaving you guys, if you don't leave me either. I left my town, my parents and my sister. You're the only ones I have left."

Silence once again filled the room when Quinn decided to speak."Do we have something to eat? I'm hungry and nothing goes better with emotional confessions than food."

"We have ice cream!"Skye exclaimed and ran to another room to bring a mini fridge"Open up, metaphorically and literally."the group grabbed one ice cream each and began eating"Is anyone else going to have an emotional confession? No? Should I take the lead?"

"We're all ears."Dan grinned.

"Okay, hm, lets see-truth is that I don't have an emotionally story to share. The only sad part of my life is that my parents didn't want me and when I finally got adopted, my new parents didn't want me either. That crashed me spirit."she stated and licked her ice cream cone"I'm insomniac but comparing to others, I guess this isn't so bad. I also had Dan all these years when the rest of you were gone so my life was cool. In fact, I think my life wasn't really bad and I just have a tendency of being a drama queen."

"You know that's not true."Dan whispered but Skye shook her head refusing to accept any protest.

"This exhaled quickly. Did you get poisoned?"Quinn tried to joke but received no laughter. The girl sighed and grabbed a Capri Sun"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything. Anything hurts less than the quiet."Skye smiled softly, the self hatred she felt before had vanished and she looked like herself again. Brendon felt his heart getting heavier. Apparently he wasn't the best actor anymore.

"Well I have imaginary friends. You already knew that, though. They aren't imaginary to me, however, and they are certainly not my friends. They yell at me and then for a while they make me feel safe, safe enough for me to keep them around because I'm afraid of loneliness. And truth is, without them I'm alone."

"You aren't. Not anymore."Newt whispered.

"Yeah that's what Brendon told me and then he left. You will too. All of you will leave me again and I'm okay with that. I've accepted it. But I always thought accepting it would be easier. Now that I know that you're as broken as I am, it just seems more difficult."she stared at her Capri Sun for a while"This friendship is so stupid but it's the only real thing in my life and I desperately want to hold on to it."

"I hate therapy."Charlie announced only seconds after Quinn had finished"This looks a lot like therapy to me."

"Well, we are walking travesties who are smiling at everything twenty four seven. Time that change, even if it's just for a moment."Dan explained.

"Well what is there to say? I have dead parents and a psychotic aunt who doesn't care if I live or not. I'm being bullied at school and sometimes I wish I didn't exist. You wanted the truth, well the truth is that I hate who I am. There isn't anything more to it."

"Charlie, you can talk to us."

"You can't handle my guilt."he shot back"And can someone please continue? I have nothing else to say. I just want us to be together, to be happy. You don't need to bother with my problems because as long as what we have remains I don't have any."

"In that case, there's only one person left in the circle of shame"Skye began"Brendon?"

"I don't have anything to say. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? We all said the same but we aren't fine. Like at all."Quinn laughed bitterly.

"I miss my old school a bit but other than that I'm fine. I promise."none of them seemed to be fully convinced. Brendon knew, they wouldn't be friends if he too wasn't screwed up. He pauses for a moment before getting up and going to another room. The rest of the group waits for him, when he finally returns he's holding a guitar."You bastards kept it."

"Well, we always hoped that one of us would learn how to play."Skye explained"You do remember how to play right?"

Brendon snorted and began playing with the strings. He hummed a familiar tune and then began playing for real"I wish that I could be like the cool kids"he smiled as he sang"Cause all the cool kids they seem to fit in"

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids"Quinn smiled as she sang along. Skye smiled and moved along to the beat while Dan and Newt stomped their feets to the beat. Then Skye grabbed Newt's hand and they began jumping up and down.