An excuse, an excuse, er I have exams coming up?

Also do you know what makes people update more regularly?

Commenting.

Oh heads up, I've watched Hamilton too many times and so my writing and perspective has been influenced by it....and trust me it shows.

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Trust gets you killed. Love gets you hurt. And being real gets you hated.

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Lives are like plays. There are the main leads, the antagonists, the secondaries and so the list goes on. Other people claim that this is a rather problematic way of viewing things. Here's where the issue lies; some will say that as a person you're the type that history has its eyes on meanwhile the opposite party claims that everyone is the hero of their own story. Now if Newt had to pick a side, had to fit in with one of society's basic life theories, he would most likely agree with the first one. Simply because in all of his life, Newt had been a minor supporting character in someone else's life.

He wasn't complaining though. Being in the back, keeping a somewhat low profile, was perhaps the reason why he was still alive and breathing. He thinks of people that stand out and his whole body shivers. Where to start? Quinn used to stand out. A shy girl with a tendency for talking to herself and to people that weren't really there. Skye, back when they were younger, used to be the orphan of the school that no one would adopt. Bastard, that was what small children who did not know of the burden that words carried said. Even himself who had learned to not overdo it with the feminine clothes and behaviors, hoping he would make a new start at Coal Hills. In the end, once the bruises from his old classmates had healed, Newt realized that the less you stand out, the safer you are.

And then there was Charlie. Charlie who wanted to walk freely in his school, holding hands with his boyfriend without having to check for jocks beforehand. Charlie who was mocked daily, whose behavior was frowned upon, who had people actually being afraid to touch him with fear that they would get infected. It was a joke, Newt had understood that, but even so, a person-an actual 17 year old who had received proper education-had voiced such a horrible joke. It made Newt's blood boil.

Still he didn't do anything about it.

See, Charlie was his cousin. But he wasn't entirely his blood. Charlie's parents were both wonderful people, his mother lionhearted and his father a respected genius, they had taught him well. Taught him to be proud of his identity. Whereas Newt's parents had taught him that by being himself, Newt would sent his father to his grave. It was this difference that made the two cousins stand out. One did not hesitate, refused to stand out, fought for what he stood for and the other lied in waiting.

Waiting for a change.

Waiting for a wake up call.

Waiting for Thomas to text back.

"Here."

"Is this for me?"

"I did say 'here' and placed it the cup in front of you so, it's obviously for the cat."

"We don't have a cat." Newt told miss Quill as he hesitantly took a sip from the coffee in his cup. It was a bit too bitter but last night had exhausted him so much that he would take all the caffeine he could find. Usually he found himself sleeping early and waking up at dawn, but yesterday Thomas had texted him multiple messages-most of them were ridiculous jokes-and eventually they both lost track of time. Now Newt had only slept for an hour and had a huge headache-but he also possessed a nice little video of Charlie snoring so in the end it was worth it.

"We should get one." Quill simply replies and pours some coffee in her own cup. 'We' is a strong word to use at that point and Newt is certain that Quill didn't even think about it, in the end it doesn't mean that much unless you look more to it, still it makes him smile in the inside. We. We, to him it means a lot, because he's been living there for a month and he had always feared that one of these days they would kick him out. It means that in his mind, maybe in some months or so, he'll consider this a place where he belongs.

"You didn't have to make me coffee."

"Consider this the one good deed of my life."

"Thank you."

Quill nods and grabs her purse. "Next time, stay up studying instead of lovemaking."

He doesn't correct her. He just stays frozen in the spot as she walks away. The door has been closed for some minutes, Quill was already a block away, and still Newt was left dumbfounded. The sound of footsteps alerted him as a bouncy Charlie entered. "Morning!"

"I think Quill's a witch."

"I've been saying the same thing since I met her."-he grabbed a glass of milk-"How come you're drinking coffee?"

"Quill made it."Newt announced"I'm almost certain she didn't poison it."

"Made coffee and left earlier than us?" Charlie seemed too caught up in his thoughts for a while. He suddenly gasped for a brief second and sat next to Newt. "Ballon must have returned."

"Who?"

"He's a friend of Quills. Moves around, spends like only three months per year here." Charlie explained"She's usually in a good mood when he comes."

"Have you met him?"

"Once. It was a very awkward meeting."

"Do I wanna know?"

Charlie sighed and took a sip from his milk."Truly speaking, it was I who didn't want to know."

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"Quick give me a heads up, what did I miss?"

"Basically the late eighties."

"I approve of this reference."-Skye high-fived Brendon-"But seriously!"

"Homophobia still rises in Coal Hill."

"I'm exhausted."

"We have a dog."

"I'm going to try for demi-soloist in ballet."

Newt remained silent as Skye clapped her hands. "It feels as if nothing has changed!"

And that's the bad part. Things have changed and Newt isn't sure if that's okay anymore. He wants to tell them so much. He wants to tell them about Thomas, about the talks they've been having, about how he makes him feel so helpless. He wants to tell them about the small fight he had with his sister a while ago, about how she got into a fight with some people in her school for calling her older brother names. He wants to tell them about his dad.

But he doesn't. He remains silent because he's only been back for a month and he can't suddenly be open about everything to everyone. Not even to his friends. Not even to Charlie.

"By the way, do you guys need a ride?"Quinn asked Charlie and Newt"I'm always driving Brendon and the Howell's car is broken so."

"If you can, yes."

"You don't have to pick me up. I actually have a small project to do so I'll stay in the library after school."

"Oh, a library!" Skye announced with excitement"Is it like that one Friends episode? Are you going to make out with someone?"

"Er no."

"Skye needs to get a personal life because she is currently too emotionally invested in ours." Brendon mumbled and grabbed a bite of his toast.

"Skye's personal life should be the dog she brought." Dan shot back.

"Buddy is fine. Grant and I have been taking him on long walks."

"I'm sorry, Grant as in Grant Ward?" Skye simply shrugs and the whole table goes mad. Newt chuckles and uses the shouting to his advance, he quietly but quickly opens his phone and types a message.

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It's raining.

It's typical, it's London, but still Newt can't believe that it is actually raining. He's standing near a parking spot next to their school and checks on his phone. His friends must have left almost an hour ago and Newt regretted not calling them, making a lame excuse, and have them picked him up right away. He was supposed to meet Thomas, about half an hour ago. Key word here being the 'supposed'.

His phone buzzes and Newt is sure that it's Thomas and maybe two or three apologies. A lazy excuse why he couldn't make it. Anything. Instead he sees his sister's picture flashing on his screen. He figures she wanted to apologize for their earlier disagreement. And Newt loves her but at the time he feels so mad at everything that he realizes that by answering the phone he'll only make things worse.

Sonya keeps calling and Newt keeps ignoring her. A bad coping mechanism but that's all he knows. He takes his phone once more and scrolls through his contacts. He finds Thomas' number and dials it. It rings for at least two minutes before someone picks it up.

"Hello?" it's a woman. Newt curses himself for thinking this wouldn't happen. He hangs up quickly and feels more stupid than words can describe. Even after what had happened he actually thought that maybe, just maybe, they could--no. No, Thomas never told him that. But he implied. Oh God, he implied it so many times that Newt's heart ache only with the memory. All those texts and apologies. Had he really misinterpreted them that much?

How could he have been so naive and foolish?

When would he learn that people like him didn't find love?

"Hey, Newt!" the blonde turned around to see Thomas a few meters away in a blue jeep honking. "Get in!"

Newt sighed and did as he was told. "I'm really sorry, I had a flat tire and my phone was at home and I thought of walking here but like I was dead after three blocks."

"It's fine." Newt says and smiles. He tries to forget the tears that had formed in his eyes a while ago and glances outside. "So where are we going?"

"Wherever you want."

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They go to a small cafe and talk. They talk about everything and suddenly Newt, the closed and reserved Newt, finds himself unable to stop speaking. Both of them become an open book, everything they said found them in total agreement. It made Newt almost forget what had occurred earlier. A young guy around their age comes and takes their orders and Newt is constantly being skeptical about whether he should smile at the stranger, just because he was feeling love-struck it didn't mean he should not be polite, or look at Thomas.

"If I'm being honest, I'm surprised you came."

"I was the one who suggested we met, wasn't I?"

"No, I know I just assumed your friends would not be that thrilled about our meet-up."

"They wouldn't approve, yes."Newt whispered. There was no point in lying. The few friends with who Thomas had spoken had voiced their opinion of him very loud and clear. "Which is why I didn't tell them."

"Really?"

"Well, they tend to be just a tad overprotective."

"With time they'll learn not to be."Thomas smiled"I'm not bad, I'm just a little all-over-the-place and usually speak before I think."

"I've noticed."

"I'm s--"

"You're sorry, I know, you've mentioned it a couple of times."he chuckled"I know you think that I'm this small little bird who was called a bad word once and is suddenly broken beyond repair but I'm far from that. I've met people like you before, I have still so many assholes to meet, I was mad, yes. A part of me still is. But slurs won't ruin my life."

Any further, he thinks of adding this but chooses against it. This isn't the right time for a sad backstory. At that point, the barista comes and hands them their coffees. Newt picks up his own and finds a small note with 'u r cute' and a heart next to it. The name Aris is scribbled on the other side.

"That's good, I wouldn't want to hurt you."-he takes his hand and smiles-"I think I like you."

"What?"Newt almost pours his coffee on top of him while his leg is twitching because of his phone buzzing again. At the last minute he holds his coffee with both of his hands and breaths heavily. "Don't say things like that!"

"It's too soon I know--trust me. But the thing is, I think of you all the time and I like talking to you, and I don't know what's happening with me but my sister says it's probably a crush. I mean, she knows about that stuff, have I told you about her crush? She has liked my best friend, Minho, for like three years straight and honestly--"

"You think of me all the time?" Newt asks in a childlike voice, if you were close enough, you would be able to hear Thomas' heart shatter at that very moment.

"Yes."

For the very first time, Newt can't help smiling as he holds Thomas' hand tighter. All the things that happened earlier from his sister to the girl that picked up Thomas' phone-who might as well have been his sister if he had spent more time thinking about it-to the barista vanished in thin air. Thomas smiled back at him, his own worries disappearing, Newt's smile made it seem as if the world was okay again.