It's okay if you hate me. I hate me too.

.

The only logical explanation he could find was that the universe hated him. Yes, it sounded quite pessimistic but Newt had made peace with that idea. At least, that was what he believed until recently. He knew he was different than the others and he knew that his relationships with others were not on the normal scale either. But he never really particularly minded because yes, who you are may not always please others but that doesn't mean you should change in order o be loved.

He never needed his parents' approval.

He never needed his classmates' approval.

And he sure as hell never needed that Thomas guy's approval.

Yet Newt needed someone to accept him. He needed to truly feel safe and if he was being honest, not even his friends could provide him that sense of belonging. He loved them, of course, but he couldn't expect them to be his only anchor. They had their own lives and problems and they certainly did not need Newt to whine like a child around them all the fucking time. He already felt bad enough for staying with Charlie and his aunt who, by the way, was not related to him. Newt felt like an unwanted guest, to say at least.

Now, the past few days, were even worse for the blonde boy. First of all, Sonya had let him know that even after his leaving, their father was still having major chest pains. Newt felt happy for a few seconds-maybe that would prove his parents that no, having a child who likes different things from you can not kill you-but then immediately felt guilty about it.

His father-and his mother-were never loving with him. They were violent, usually, either. Not the ideal parenting behavior but Newt figured it could be much worse. And he loved them too. Many people used to say in forums or even in silly tumblr posts that people like him shouldn't love their parents-and that family is not only by blood-but Newt found it impossible to hate his parents. Their opinions may not collide but they were still Newt's family. They were the people that would take him for ice cream as a child when getting a good grade, they were the people that would let him sleep in their bed when having a bad dream and they were the people cheered for him at his last concert.

Yes, they were not fond of his choices and criticized that matter a lot but other than that they were normal parents and since the last few people Newt had met were very cruel to him as well, he figured that maybe he was being very hard on them. Maybe they were acting like that because they wanted to protect him from the cruel world.

"Do you want more tissues?" Charlie asked with a sweet smile. Newt just shook his head. He felt guilty for doing this to his cousin. The poor boy had an amazing date earlier, came back flying on cloud nine, only to come back and find Newt crying completely ruining his mood. He wouldn't blame him if he hated him. Newt hated himself too. "Newt, what happened? Why did you leave?"

"I wanted to give you and Matteusz some privacy."

"If that was the case, you would have dragged Skye with you." Charlie argued"Tell me the truth."

"It's nothing."

"Newt, please."

Newt gulped and wondered whether he should truly tell him. It would probably ruin his mood. Then again, his mood was already ruined."There was a guy."

"Is that not good?"

"Remember the guy from the party?"

"Oh,"Charlie breathed"oh, that's why."

"It was childish, wasn't it?"

"Newt, no it's--"

"It's just last time I saw him, I was humiliated. I cried the next night and it wasn't really as if I had found my soulmate or anything it was just so nice to feel loved for a while. And then it was gone, it simply vanished and all the sweet words were replaced with insults."

"That guy is an idiot, okay? And yes, you had a bad experience but better days will come."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well, better days did come for me. I have you and Quinn and Dan and Brendon and Skye--"

"And Matteusz?"Newt grinned while Charlie smiled shyly.

"My point is that you shouldn't let assholes bother you, they aren't worth your time." Newt nodded and the two cousins hugged. Newt knew that Charlie was right, still something in his gut told him that things were not going to get any better. Just worse.

.

"You're failing, Dan."

"It's not so important. I can study and I will pass."

"You've never paid attention to class, you are really far behind."

"Sir, I can't fail Spanish. It's a bloody joke." Mr Schuester cleared his throat and ignored Dan's comment about his lesson. He tapped his foot down for some time before speaking up again.

"I have a proposition for you."

"Sir, your Glee Club is great but I'd stick to singing in the shower for now."

"Although, I'm sure you'd be great. This is not what I had in mind."-Dan looked at him puzzled-"At the end of the school year, we're going to put on a play. If you agree to help, as muscles of course I do not expect you to sing, I could be a little more easy on your grades."

"Is it legal making your students do things for you in order to get a good grade?"

"Do you want to fail?"

"Well, I'm not becoming a lawyer so I'll help."Dan laughed awkwardly and shook his teacher's hand before walking away from the classroom.  It's not that he didn't like Mr Schuester but he had to admit that the man liked to blackmail. A lot. It was selfish and very problematic but since Dan needed the grade, he decided to let it pass. The bell rang for their break and Dan made his way at the back of the school; the only place he could smoke in peace and quiet.

"Shit!"he heard someone mumbled as he opened the door"Oh, it's you. I thought it was someone important."

"Shut up, Singh. Or do you want me to go get coach Garrett? I'm sure he'll appreciate your little smoke break."

"Very funny."Ram chuckled and put out his cigarette. The two boys continued laughing for a while before Ram stopped at the sound of footsteps. He watched three kids jump the fence-Dan was certain he had seen them before but couldn't clearly make up their faces-as Ram's smile dropped."Assholes coming in three, two--"

"Well, well, I didn't know you smoke Ramsel."the taller one, a blonde boy with muscles and freckles sneered."That explains why you suck at football."

"What do you want, Galileo?" Dan laughed at that comment.

"We're just dropping by."

"Sure."Ram mumbled and headed towards the door"Don't stay much."

Gally, Dan remembered him from a game between Coal Hill and WCKD, glared at the closed door Ram had left. Dan was certain, though, that he didn't remember the boy just from the game. No, he had seen him before. His gaze trailed off to the other two boys next to him-oh he certainly had seen the other guys around. He threw his cigarette on the ground while chuckling. Oh now he remembered.

"What are you laughing at emo fag?"

"I don't know, it's just your face really makes me want to laugh."Dan continued"Your head is so small, no wonder why a human brain can not fit in it."

"You little shit."Gally mumbled as he clenched his fist. Dan laughed once more and put his one hand at the door to open it. Before that he leaned closer to Gally and made eye contact with the other two guys.

"Between you and I, eyebrows, I think you're little."

Dan didn't really understand how Gally raised his fist so fast but he did and it hit Dan's nose in a second. The taller boy groaned in pain while the other kids from WCKD tried to hold Gally. Dan should really learn to either keep his mouth shut or fix his reflexes.

"What is going on here?" he never really thought that he would say this but Dan was happy to hear miss Quill's voice from behind. "Why are you children so obsessed with beating up each other? This is getting ridiculous."she turned to the others"Get your bloody arses back to your school right this second or I promise I will chop off your fingers one by one."

"I don't think that's legal."the Asian guy whispered.

"It's not legal for me to do it to this school's students. Nobody tells me what I can and can't do to other children. Now go before I get mad because if I get mad, you'll wish to be in this guy's"-she pointed at Dan-"position."

The three kids began walking away and miss Quill helped Dan get up."Go to the bathroom and fix your bloody nose."

"I'm dizzy."

"You'll survive and I have a lesson."she replied and turned on her heels"Fast, mr Howell."

Dan sighed as the teacher disappeared and looked at his pack of smoke. His break was over, Newt's honor wasn't yet restored and he had a bloody nose. Nothing could possible be worse than that.

"Dan?"

Except Phil passing by.

That was worse.

"Oh my God, what happened?"

"It's--"Dan couldn't finish his sentence as Phil had run to his side and began examining his bloody nose. The boy winced a little a the touch but he what to admit it felt nice. Not having a bloody nose of course but the way Phil was touching him. It was so soft and warm and it made Dan forget about the pain. He was glad Skye wasn't around at that moment.

"Um, excuse me?"the two boys turned around slowly backing away from each other. Dan groaned at the sight of the person who had interrupted them.

"You are not excused."

"Dan!"

"No, you say that because you don't know."Dan told Phil"And because you're probably too naive to know what kind of an asshole this guy is."

"So, you know about me."Thomas mumbled quietly. A hint of shame in his voice, Dan grinned, he deserved to be ashamed."You're friends with--"

"Newt."

"Yes, Newt."Thomas repeated as if he knew the blonde's name. Dan highly doubt it and just assumed the boy was a good actor."I don't know what he said but--"

"Newt didn't lie to me, if that's what you're implying."

"No,"

"And you're an asshole."

"Yes, but this is not the point."Thomas shot back"I was a dick, I know."

"You were."

"And my sister made me realized that so I owe him an apology."

"Great, I'll let him know."Dan lied quickly and grabbed Phil's hand"Have a good day."

"No, wait,"Thomas stopped them"I mean it. Look there's a party tomorrow, almost everyone is coming, and I was thinking that maybe he could come to."

"Leave Newt alone with an asshole like you?"

"You can come too, and your boyfriend, Gally will behave I promise."

Dan glanced at Phil, who Thomas had mistaken for his boyfriend apparently, and then looked back at Thomas. He decided that the little voice inside his head that had earlier told him that something bad was going to happen was right.

"We'll think about it."