i'll stop making these when hell freezes over and my motivation returns thanks 

(also i'm going to triple update i've had the chapters ready all week i just highkey sometimes don't post things)

also for the curious these are chronological and refer to the books not the fans otherwise all of these would be "has too much free time" and then the hearts of gold one would be "still making egg puns on a thread from three years ago"

overused 2000s meme 

-unironically uses three exclamation points and the XD face 

- watches cat videos in their free time 

-sends memes to all their friends all the time

-"what's a drugs"

-puberty has it in for them 

-just discovered nightcore 

-twelve, fake edgy, and no one understands 

vengnance

-how the fuck do you spell "pheonix"

-sometimes wrong never in doubt

-seems chill but if you cross will absolutely start screeching incoherently and you will be sorry for all of your sins 

-has a lot of fake friends

-it's ms. bitch to you 

-thinks m night shyamalan movies are really deep 

thicc ice

-the middle child whose personality is "middle child"

-the one straight friend 

-can never think of an "interesting fact" for icebreakers

-rewrites endings of sad movies to be happy no matter how much it actually ruins the movie involved

-the one who scores "lawful evil" on an alignment test despite all their friends claiming they're true neutral 

-should never be trusted in a position of power, ever

fandomsucc

-never gets to finish their sentences

-injects references into every conversation even when no one understands or cares

-writes reader and self insert stories

-never got over frozen

-intentionally frozen in the social landscape of 2012 out of sheer denial

hearts of go!

-probably homeschooled

-shy at first but when they start talking they will never stop again

-likes animals but animals hate them 

-the person who cries when the dog dies in the movie

-walls are decked with manga and light novels

-has a squad of twenty people who roll together everywhere

-plays a lotta vidya 

second choices 

-no one knows why they're there

-the black sheep of the friend group

-probably not even real

-wants to travel

-just realized that they're definitely not straight 

the community of large buildings go kaput

-squad is full of drama

-inside jokes. inside jokes everywhere

-hates authority, entirely convinced teenagers are competent and capable of handling themselves

-you're for us or against us honey

-knives 

-probably needs to talk to someone

local gardening association causes end of multiple universes 

-daddy issues

-would die for their siblings 

-"all girls are queens" 

-the quiet kind of depression

-likes plants more than people

-reads a lot of classics 

ordinary (it's not unusual)

-gets cut off before they even start thinking

-a pit of salt

-has some 40 year old man hobby like model car collection or birdwatching

-breaks tropes by falling into more tropes

-"uh"

cat jesus is actually two cats and one of them is bisexual and the other is a lesbian 

-thirsty

-bad at explaining things to people, even worse at telling stories, but always the first to volunteer during conversations 

-crushing on like twenty people 

-born in the wrong decade 

-would shank a man for a klondike bar, or really, any reason at all. would shank a man 

this book broke me 

-has more friends than should physically be possible to maintain at this point

-runs everything behind the scenes 

-exercises regularly

-an apple a day keeps the crippling depression away

-the world is always ending folks 

-professional scrapbooker.

-nostalgia

roses are asshole flowers 

-so smart that it alienates people

-good at everything

-gets jealous of fictional characters for being more competent than them

-not showing off seriously just really had to raise their hand for the last twenty questions because no one else was and really it is so disrespectful that none of you are paying attention we are here to LEARN and you are being given an OPPORTUNITY

-oldest sibling in spirit if not in actuality

-urge to protecc is strong

-getting into all the colleges. all of them 

the river can bend in any direction except for the direction of coherent plot and consistent character execution

-has 600 snapstreaks some of which total in the 200 days range 

-goes to all the parties. all of them

-very opinionated

-which team? wildcats

-a slut for pretty scenery

-hopeless romantic 

the space between canons 

-bullshits every history exam 

-unrealistically high standards for themselves

-"the rules are there for a reason guys"

-claims they would probably die first in any survival situation but is surprisingly competent

-celebrity crushes pasted up all over room

deja uwu

-closet weeaboo 

-reads too many comics 

-doesn't talk to anyone outside the friend group

-has not left room to talk to family in years

-has made some mistakes

-high 

-on sixteen group chats and all of them are with the same people no one knows how this happened

amalgranola

-probably not even human

-"ha ha i'm going to kill someone" 

-can't take jokes

-going to run away from home one of these days 

-search history is postmodern art and isochronic tones

fox anxiety 

-daddy issues

-anxiety issues

-anger issues 

-interpersonal issues

-intrapersonal issues

-issues

-a furry

the community of large buildings go kaput this time with more dog angst

-pretty convinced that that person who just smiled at them that one time is their soulmate 

-eye contact

-likes food

-walks into things all the time

-so far in the clouds they've left the atmosphere and are probably aphyxiating

-makes a lot of friendship bracelets

-secretly a conspiracy theorist

-incoherent word salad

-on something

actually i'd be really concerned if anyone tagged themselves as half of these but there you go