I arrive back home and sigh with my groceries in hand. I wave as Derek drives off. I think back to that moment in the car.

I actually wouldn't have minded if he had made a move in there. I think I like him.

I put the groceries away and close the light in the kitchen. Only then do I notice Derek's hoodie. I smile and put the hoodie on. It felt soft and much better knowing that Derek blushes when I wear this.

I walk up to my bedroom noticing the photo of Mama and father together. Wedding day, when father apparently got so drunk, he took Mama back to their university thinking they were still in their freshman year.

I remember the advice Peter gave me. Call my father. I sweat making rounds around my bedroom before eventually resting on my bed.

Maybe I can collect information, another way? Do I have to call him?

That's it. I'll pretend me be some random company that asks random questions like a survey. I compile a list of questions that hopefully don't sound too suspicious.

1. What is your name?

2. What is your age?

3. What city do you live in?

4. What is your occupation?

5. How are you financially?

6. Do you have a strong relationship with your partner and possible children?

Alright. Seems legit.

I get the home phone and call the phone number and quietly motivate myself. Preparing my best Alexa impression.

'Hello? This is Richard Monet.' I feel my heart beat loudly hearing my father's voice.

'Hi, this is...Amanda from COLE's Surveys. Could you please spare a few minutes of your time for a quick survey?'

"Uhh sure. Is this anonymous?'

'Yes of course. I will start with the simple questions' first name and age?'

'Richard. 40 years old.'

'Alrighty, what country/state do you live in?'

'Kentucky. For the past few years.'

'How about your occupation?'

'Uhhh...I actually am employed at a restaurant. Not exactly my career choice.' father chuckles to himself.

I feel my heart sink. I tap my hands to pay attention. 'For how long?'

'Well, a year now. Use to be a chef but that went south when they discovered I had been using MSG and lying to customers about it. Now I live off a minimum wage job, not exactly ideal.

Mama wasn't lying when she said Father like to overshare. I decided to skip question 5.

'For the last question sir...how is your relationship with your partner and possible child?'

'My partner? We're separated, not divorced, knowing her she probably told my kid we're divorced. She'll tell you the opposite but that's not true. I guess you can say I'm a bad father too. Poor Brooke, having to live mostly by herself cause my ex-wife is a doctor. I hope she doesn't hate me because of this.'

I-I do....don't. My eyes tear up and I feel my stomach curl.

'I would go to them. I do know where they are and I can possibly try and get a plane, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid to see Nicole again and Brooke. God, she probably tries to be like me trying to connect with me. Maybe even try and be a chef like me. I just wanna tell her that she doesn't have to, you know. She can be an artist or something, I remember she would be really good at drawing and stuff. I don't know what she wants to do at all. Sorry, I'm probably rambling on too much.'

I wipe my tears. 'N-no. No. You're a good father. I'm sure your daughter would love to see you again. You never know.'

'Good point. Is that all for the survey?'

"Yep. That's it. Thank you for your time.'

'No problem.'

The moment the line cut off, I hit my head against my desk. I hated myself for even considering the thought that I might hate him.

I don't know why I'm not crying, though. I should be.