Chapter sixteen - Tipsy Tears

~*~

"See you in a week, honey, love you!" Then the door smacks closed and I am left alone for yet another week.

Sighing, I look out the window to see my mom speeding off in her new car, which she got from her boss.

Don't even try to tell me she got that because of her "hard work".

Truth to be told, I miss my mom. I have barely seen her in the last five months and I am really looking forward to spending some time with her.

Feeling nostalgic all of a sudden, I decide to give my dad a call.

"Hi dad." I smile although I know he couln't see me, the sound of his voice has always been relaxing for me.

"Sweetie, hi."

"I haven't heard from you in a long time, so could I come over one of these days?"

"I'm sorry, Loren, now really isn't a good time, and I'm leaving to another state in a couple of days. But hey, I've got time in three weeks." Disappointment overwhelms me as I hang up.

"Sorry to bother you Dad," I say harshly.

"What bit you in the ass?" A sweating Geoffrey in all his sexiness enters the living room. He dries the sweat on his forehead with a towel before flashing me his irresistible smile. I love the way that smile is more prominent every single day.

"My dad."

"You're not happy to get a call from him?"

"I actually called him myself but he, of course, didn't even have a moment for me. In the end I am only his daughter."

"He's probably just busy." Is he really going to defend my dad?

"Yeah, busy screwing his twenty years old girlfriend," I mutter. That seems to shut him up.

He goes upstairs to get a shower, allowing me to fall down onto the couch.

The last couple of weeks have been wrecking to be honest. Exams have been stressful and I didn't get enough sleep in order for me to function like a normal person.

Most of the time, I don't stress that much, but this time had been a complete disaster. I hadn't done anything beforehand and soon it became clear that that was really stupid.

One night I had broken down completely, the lack of sleep and the amount of nerves had become too much for me. I had thrown all my books and pens and papers and stuff onto the ground and decided to stop studying, since it wouldn't make any difference.

I was laying on the couch listening to my hardcore music - which I normally hate, but adore when I'm upset, when suddenly something grabbed my shoulder. Surprised by the touch, I turned around and hit my attacker in the face.

"Don't you dare to touch me!" I yelled.

When I noticed it was Geoffrey - who was currently holding a hand to his cheek - I instantly started to cry for no clear reason.

"Hey, chill down, will you," he said, rubbing his cheek. "I was just checking on you."

"Oh, everything is fine," I cried. "I haven't slept the last week, I can't study, I'm going to fail the history exam I'm having, I'll never get a degree, I won't be able to find a job and before you know it I'll be living in a box," I rambled.

And you know what? The bastard just stood there and smiled.

"Fuck off, Geoffrey, seriously, just leave me alone."

"I'm sorry." But the look on his face told me that he was anything but sorry. "It's just funny to see you lose it."

"What?" I was so ready to smack him again.

"You're always acting so cool and in control, and I am the one who's going nuts, now the roles have turned for once." Damn him and his cute smile.

"I don't think it's nice. I think it's anything but nice!"

"Calm down, Loren, really."

"I can't, okay? I can't because I still have so many chapters to go through and I'll never be able to learn them all."

"I'll help."

"Uh, no offense, but you don't even take this class."

"I know, I know, but I can give you mental support."

"How?" He brushed his soft finger across my cheek. I looked up at his chocolate brown eyes. Everything about him told me that he really wanted to help me out.

"For starters I'll make you a delicious cup of tea, which will surely calm you down."

"And then?"

"Then we'll see." He stood up and headed towards the stairs.

"Uh, in case you hadn't already noticed, the kitchen is over there." I pointed out.

"Loren, Loren, Loren." He shook his head and just made his way upstairs. A minute later, he came back down, holding a small box. "Come on." He offered me his hand.

I took it eagerly and followed him as he led me to the kitchen. There, he placed the box over the counter, let go of my hand and turned on the water boiler.

"What's in the box?"

"Wait and see," he grabbed the cookie box out of the drawer.

"Calming me down by letting me eat? You know me too well." I started smiling and so did he.

"So what's the exam about?"

"History," I replied.

"Yeah I figured that part, I meant which part of history?"

"The most boring of all times," I said.

He rolled his eyes at that. "Look," I continued, "I don't want to talk about that right now, just want to relax for a while."

The ping of the water boiler attracted Geoffrey's attention. He picked two tea glasses out of the cabinet and put them onto the counter, pouring the water in them and then finally opened the box.

"You have a box filled with teabags hidden in your room?" Inside were like five teabags. I laughed at that before getting suspicious. "I'm not going to get high, am I?"

"What? No!"

"Just asking." He got up from his chair and took the two cups along as he made his way to the living room again.

He plopped down, leaving some space for me.

"Here you go." He offered me the cup and I took it gracefully.

"So where did it come from? The tea I mean."

"It was my mom's special tea, she'd always make it for me if I was stressed out or when I couldn't sleep."

"That's nice." I let the first sips of tea slip through my lips.

"Yeah, she never wanted to tell me where she bought them, so after she died I ripped the boxes that were left out of the kitchen and hid them in my room." A sad smile was desplayed on his lips. "This actually is the only box I have left."

Suddenly, I felt so, so guilty, I was simply drinking something he had been holding onto for seven years!

I looked at the cup and that only made me feel even more guilty. He must had noticed because he asked, "Hey, what's up?" I tried to smile it away by shaking my head, but that didn't help. "Oh no, please drink it. I'm serious, I still got a few left, drink it."

"But this belonged to your mom."

"And she would want you to drink it. Come on, you can use it."

"Are you sure?" He nodded and handed me my cup again.

Afterwards, I managed to study for another hour, but then I just broke down again, because I realized I was never going to pass this class.

Geoffrey, who had been sitting a few meters away all this time, studying as well, took me to my bed and ordered me to go to sleep since it wouldn't make any difference if I continued studying that night.

I just cried even harder, because he as well admitted that it was a lost cause, until the point where he stepped into my bed and lied down with me, soothing me to sleep by holding my hand and rubbing my back.

The next morning he woke me, as promised, when he went for a run.

Only he didn't go running, he continued studying.

"How where your results?" present me asks him when he comes back downstairs. His hair was still wet and he ruffled a towel through it to dry it. It's weird how even the simble movement of his hand running through his hair made him another 164 degrees hotter.

"Good," he says. We have gotten them this morning, and although it was a close call, I passed them all. "How was History?"

"I passed!" I yell in euphoria.

"That's amazing!" he cooes and smiles at my overacting.

"I was so happy when I found out, and so relieved, you wouldn't believe and-"

"Geoffrey!" His father enters the living room. I sigh; what has he done now?

"Explain this!" He throws a piece of paper down on the table. Geoffrey shoots me a look as if he doesn't want me to be here.

But to hell with his will, I'm curious as fuck; of course I'm staying!

"What, no explanation?" He slams his hand against the table. "This is going to have serious consequences, young man!"

Then he storms out of here and Geoffrey just stays where he is, not moving an inch.

It might not be any of my business but after all I'm still a seventeen years old nosy girl, so I ince forward in rapid speed. At that he suddenly starts to move to the piece of paper as well.

I am the first one to reach it, snatching it away before he can. "Loren," he says in an authoritative manner.

After taking another few steps I stop and take a look at the paper. It were his results printed out.

"You failed math and English lit?"

"It's no big deal." Pissed, he snatches the paper out of my hand.

"Why didn't you ask me to help you with math?" I'm a little bit disappointed, not because he failed but because he didn't come to me when he needed help.

"I didn't want to bother you with it, you were already so nervous, didn't want to make it any worse."

"Why did you lie when I asked you how your results were?"

He shrugs. "Didn't want you to think of me as a loser I guess." I sigh, ready to give him a lecture about how he didn't let me down and that it isn't a shame that you fail a class and all that stuff, but then something hit me.

"What did you have the night after I broke down?"

"Come on, that doesn't matter-"

"Which one?"

"English lit," he confesses avoiding eye contact at any time and I feel like a knife has been put right through my stomach.

"You failed because of me?"

"Loren, don't do this." He drops the paper down on the table.

"But it's true right? All the time you were comforting me and when you laid down with me on bed and we went to sleep early and- and..." I'm currently out of breath, partly because I remind myself of how it felt to be close to him, to lie in his arms as he rocked me to sleep quietly. "You were planning on studying," I conclude.

"Yes, okay, yes, I did plan on staying up all night to study. Yes, I didn't do that because of you but it was my fault anyway, I didn't study beforehand and I choose to stay with you!" I feel kind of honored about those words but even more guilty since he confesses I was the reason he failed. "Besides, you passed everything that's the most important thing, right?"

I shake my head hiding my reddened cheeks. "No, no, I'm not the most important thing, my grades aren't the most important thing, you are just as important," I point out. "Probably even more important."

He remains quiet so I continue, "If you need any help next semester, with anything, just ask! Really, I owe you some."

"I'll keep that in mind, but those are worries for later." He smiles. "First enjoy the holidays, okay?" I nod and start to make my way upstairs, but before I pass him he grabs my arm. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

I nod again.

Stupid him, of course I'm going to worry about this! It's still my fault he failed.

Once upstairs I start to get ready for the party tonight. One of the football players is throwing his huge annual party where everyone was invited, even the nerds! Not that they'd come but still, they were invited.

Cody's coming to pick me up this evening, which I only allowed him to do because I found out he liked some other girl.

A week ago he had asked me and Lana some advice on how he had to ask this girl out. He didn't want us to know who it was, but he did say she went to another school, which excludes me.

I was relieved about that, since he is a really nice guy and I love to be around him and now everything feels so much less awkward and I can finally say anything I want without risking on hurting him.

I'm going for the simple look for tonight, the one I feel comfortable in. I don't plan on seducing anyone, I plan the contrary actually, trying to attract the least attention as possible, because I don't trust the guys who run around there for one bit.

I do apply a bit mascara and perfume, which would soon go to waste due to the unbearable smell of alcohol and cigarettes.

I ring Lana up. "You ready?"

"Hell I am!" I yell, completely ready to enjoy the following hours.

"Okay, is Cody coming to pick you up?"

"Yeah, he should be here in ten minutes or so."

"Okay, I'll see you there!"

"Bye," she ends the call and I head downstairs, grabbing a small purse on the way.

"Are you going to the party?" he asks as I pull on some old shoes.

"Yep."

"You need a ride?" he asks as he takes a large bite of his apple, God, even that drives me nuts.

"No, thanks, Cody is coming to pick me up," I say.

"Oh."

"Are you going to the party?" I ask when I hear a horn beam from outside.

"No, I'm going to call Latoya to come over."

It feels as if he just threw a billion knives at me, each one forming a cut a little deeper as the previous one, resulting the last knives to cut right through me.

"Oh," I let out, surprising myself by managing to do that without breaking down on the outside.

He mumbles something before slowling strolling up the stairs.

Wha-what?

He's going to-to- what?

Latoya?

Really?

I-I thought- I-oh god I'm so stupid.

H-How?

I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath, and then another, and another before I find the courage to walk outside.

Only a second after I enter Cody's car, he notices that something's up. "You up for tonight?"

"Sure," I say, every hint of enthusiasm washed out of my voice.

"Okay then." He obviously doesn't believe me, but he drives of anyway. I keep on staring at the door, the place where my heart has left my body to fall out into two thousand pieces.

The night goes by in a blur. I don't enjoy it one bit, I just started drinking and never stopped. The drinking did lift my mood for a while until I cross paths with Chester.

"Hey, do you know why Geoffrey decided not to come all of a sudden?"

Prick.

I drink even more and can only remember part of the things that were happening, until it was time to go home. By then I couldn't even stand on my feet properly.

With big effort, Cody manages to get in me into the car.

"God, Loren, why did you drink so much?"

And then I lose it completely. I start to cry hysterically and mumble some incoherent sentences all the way home.

Arriving there, Cody helps me out of my seat like the gentleman he is.

He rings the doorbell, causing me to cry even harder for no particular reason.

"Shh, it'll be okay," he soothes me before Geoffrey swings the door open.

"Loren?"

"Surprise!" I yell out through the ocean of tears and snot.

"What the hell did you do to her?" He grabs Cody by the nape of his shirt and plasters him against the nearest wall.

Now I'm left like Bambi on ice to keep my balance. It doesn't even take more than two seconds for me to fall on my ass.

"I didn't do anything, man," Cody tries to free himself from Geoffrey's grip.

"I swear to God, if you touched her, even laid one finger on her, I will fucking kill you!"

"Dude, stop blaming me! For all I know, you're the reason she's acting like this!"

Then, both of their heads turn to me. I have put my head against the doorframe, chewing on the sleeve of my shirt.

Geoffrey lets go of Cody. "Latoya it's time to go home!" Then he turns back to Cody. "Be kind and give her a ride home, okay."

"But-"

"Take her home and get the hell out of here!" He picks me up of the ground.

I can vaguely remember Latoya passing me by, muttering some painful remarks. Geoffrey slams the door shut as soon as she's out of sight.

For a while he just stands there, hands in his hair as he watches the tears stream down my face.

Then he moves closer, scoops me up in his arms and letting my head rest against his chest. While he carries me upstairs, I sob into his chest. "You slept with Latoya."

And then everything goes blank.