Jana begrudgingly sat by Simeon's bedside, she didn't particularly want to be here but she realised that it was her obligation as he was the father of  Zosia and her son.

Her beautiful little boy, Lucjan had been a miracle and though the pregnancy had been hard and at times impossible, there was never a moment where she wasn't grateful for him.

Her pregnancy had been a high risk from the moment she had found out she was pregnant. There had been no swollen breasts, no morning sickness and no skipped period for her to know. In fact it was the presence of blood that had made her aware of her situation.

Just the thought of what she had gone through alone, hurt her more than words could ever explain because Simeon should have been there. He should have been there for her when she was rushed to the infirmary because she had been bleeding and it was not her period because you didn't get cramps like that on a period. There had been soo much blood, it had been everywhere and the pain. The pain had been unfathomable and she had gone through that alone.

He hadn't been there to hold her hand and reassure her when she had received the heart wrenching news that she was pregnant but that the scarring along her womb was causing complications. He wasn't there when Manal had told her that the chance of this baby surviving full term was unlikely. He hadn't been there when she had cried so hard her heart had thudded so fast she had passed out. Nobel reprimanding her when she came to because the stress was putting a strain on her baby.

She had been forced to bed rest because the movement, any little thing could have caused her to loose that little ray of hope. When all that she had left and all that she knew was tumbling around her where was he?

She had no one because she couldn't trust Vanya or Neema's words at face value because they had known. Maybe they had never been given the confirmation but they had suspected and no one had mentioned it. Vanya, she had pardoned after a while but only because Vanya hadn't been there in the moment when Jana had met Simeon but Neema had and that had ruined what little of their relationship they had begun to build.

Jana had been alone, bedridden and isolated. Her only solace was that she was growing a life wishing the same womb that she had thought barren. Zosia, her persistent mother Felicity who knew firsthand her daughters struggles, and the extremely dry humour of Manal made her days easier. Manal had often brought her children, there curious eyes reminding Jana of all she could have if she just held on.

Manal and Felicity had been her rock until the pregnancy had taken control over her emotions and Neema and Vanya had been welcomed with wet cheeks as she tried not to cry in fear that she would harm her child. She spent weeks and weeks stuck in that bed, her belly growing bigger and bigger as the precarious life grew within her. Her body had quickly began to put on weight but it was never enough. Nobel kept telling her she was at risk and so Jana ate more. There wasn't a thing she didn't eat. Every concoction her mothers and aunties fed her she ate, anything to see her son have life and even then the inevitable couldn't be stopped.

She was four months in, four months and she had felt blood between her thighs even as she lay in the bed. Fear settled in her heart as she felt life ebbing from her body knowing that if she lost him then she too would follow because there would be no coming background from the loss.

Her water had broke, the fluid mixed with blood as her uterus had started dilating as the urge to push had consumed her. At four months pregnant they had put her under , extreme anaesthesia and chants had filled her head as consciousness had been snatched form her mind.

She had drifted for what felt like forever, a niggle at the back of her mind telling her to open her eyes every now and again but she couldn't. Even as she felt the sharp pain of gums biting at her nipples. Even as she heard the weak cry growing and growing stronger as the darkness faded and faded until the light had swallowed her whole and then she saw him.

He was the first thing she saw

Her light

His big brown eyes had peered up at her as his little sharp nails had scraped at her breast. Her relief was so profound she had sobbed her heart out, Vanya rushing in with fear in her eyes that quickly turned to love as she watched that first moment. The moment when a mother first feeds her child. It was a beautiful moment that Jana always pulled up when things got hard because that hadn't been it for her.

Her cesarian cut had become infected and she had caught a fever, they had to ween Luc of her breast while she struggled for her life and even then it wasn't over. Once the wound was no longer infected, they had put her under again so they could try and heal some of her scarred tissue. The LSRM had done the best it could but even now there was still some residual damage that would always persist.

Once delirium had been wiped from her mind she had began to panic over her sons small size but that had changed quickly. As soon as she was given the go ahead she had begun to breast feed him again and he had demanded a lot but it had been her pleasure because she had given him life.

Her little premature baby had grown fast, his body swelling with milk as he spent most of his days suckling on his mother. Jana had all the time in the world because she had been placed on bed rest for the first month of her sons life and even after then the healers had discouraged her from carrying him straight away.

She had been through a lot, she had suffered with postpartum depression. Her anxiety had grown by heaps and bounds so much so that Luc had become one of those babies that could only sleep in their mothers arms. She had spoilt him rotten with her anxiety over loosing him, locked away in her room she had stopped everyone's access to him until her mothers and sisters had intervened. She had been given two crystals by Jana and Manal to help with her mental, emotional and physically healing. The yellowish green of smithsonite had helped to calm her anxiety and encouraged pleasant emotions as she healed from her traumas. While the black tourmaline had helped ground her and brought a protective wall around her energy and her thoughts.

She had struggled for weeks on end but she made her first real step forward when she had allowed Felicity to carry him out of the room for a few moments so she could bathe in some healing bath salts that Vanya had made for her.

She had been through the grinder these past few months, both her and Zosia whose nightmares had persisted for weeks on end until she too had been given her own protective and healing stones.

They had been through the worst and made it through without him and yet she couldn't leave him to suffer alone. Not because she actually cared for him in the same way she used to but because she pitied him. He was truly alone in the world because she didn't want him and questions of Simeon had become less and less on his daughter's lips as time had progressed.

"Is he awake" murmured Neema, a squirming Lucjan in her arms as she popped around the door.

"He's out like the dead" replied Jana, poking Simeon in the shoulder and receiving the tiniest grunt from him.

He had been out for a whole day and he still wasn't waking. Vanya had decreed there was nothing seriously wrong with him. Some internal bleeding that they had helped staunch and the physical abuse his body had gone through, both by Khan and Simeon's on personal neglect.

"Well his son is awake and demanding milk" Jana happily climbed to her feet and cradled her son in her arms, adjusting her top so he could latch on and suckle.

Luc was getting big, at 6 months she was attempting to ween him off the breast but he remained persistent. She had begun to feed him some solid foods like mushed up fruits and vegetables but he still wanted her milk. He was her son through and through and she kindly reminded Neema of that.

"Simeon has no part in Lucjan's life, he was just the sperm donor," her nose upturned as she dismissed his role because he didn't have one.

"We know, ladybug" soothed Neema as her lips glided across Jana's forehead. Patting her on the shoulder she said "Dinner is at 5" before she made her way to the door.

"And Zosia knows he is here, she keeps asking after you both," her eyes full of wisdom as she closed the door behind her.

Jana sighed deeply in exasperation. She hadn't wanted Zosia to know Simeon was here yet because he was in no condition to see his daughter though his physical appearance would have to do. More importantly, Jana hadn't wanted Zosia to know because she hadn't wanted to get her hopes up at seeing her father if he was only going to crush her heart when he left again.

Huffing deeply, she moved over to the sofa  sofa and place placed along the back as she curled around him. Her mind became foggy as she drifted off for a few hours, a small grunt pulling her from her nap.

Her eyes shot open, head twisting as she looked to the bed. Simeon's dark eyes were squinted open, face red as he gasped for breath. His eyes closed again, as he settled back into slumber but it was disturbed as Luc began squirming for his next feed. His legs kicking as his cheeks turned ruddy with annoyance. She had about 5 second before his wails began to climb, her hands shaking as she quickly tried to open up her top but she wasn't quick enough.

Pink gums peaked through as his face scrunched up, his nose wrinkling as he cried louder. She tried to hush him as she pulled out her breast but he wasn't done, his gurgling cries filling her ears.

"Whose baby is that" came Simeon's husky voice from the bed, his eyes still closed as he tried to block his ears.

Jana payed him no mind, focusing on finally getting Luc to latch and when he did he made those loud suckling noises as if he had been starving. Her little greedy monster.

"Finally" he sighed, eyes rolling open as he hesitantly looked over to where the sound was coming from. He shot up in the bed, groaning loudly as his bloodied and bruised body refused to cooperate.

"Is that..." his words cut of by the sharp screech of Luc. Tutting her teeth, Jana fixed his body so his head was by her other breast and pulled it out, tucking the other back into her top as he began to suckle again. His lids fluttering shut, as his warm hand tapped on her heart.

"Yes, Simeon. This is my son," her eyes level wit his as she patted Luc's bottom, he liked the motion as he drank as it helped to soothe him.

He clambered out of the bed and staggered to his feet, body swaying as he stumbled towards her. His body collapsing to the floor as he knelt before her, his hands on her knees as he peered over at his son.

"He's mine," no question in his words because he knew that her baby was his son. Though his skin was a few shades darker and his eyes more brown then black, Simeon knew it.

Jana's head nodded in acknowledgement though he didn't really need the confirmation because he could feel it.

"How" he stammered, eyes wet in wonder as he stroked along Luc's curly hair. The baby's eyes opened as he stared back at Simeon, lashes blinking as his little nose wiggled in confusion. The smell of Simeon was one he didn't know, the timbre of his voice was foreign to Luc's ears.

He didn't know Simeon.

"It's a long story but apparently you have super sperm and my womb wasn't as mutilated as we thought.. I guess you got a child even though you didn't want one," and she wasn't sorry because though Simeon had never wanted a child she always had. He didn't have to be a part of her sons life because she didn't need him at all.

"So what now?... and where is Zosia"

"Well right now I'm going to go down stairs and eat, which is where Zosia is. As soon as we are done, I'll let her know you are here," she replied with a hard edge in her voice letting him know that there would be no debate.

Adjusting her clothes and her hold on Lucjan, she stood to her feet in preparation to leave. Simeon stood to his feet with her, his hands shaking as he stroked against Luc's skin in awe.

"And me?" He asked hesitantly, unsure of his place in her life which was just as well because she didn't know his place either.

"You're a grown man Simeon, you'll make whatever decision you see fit... as always" she jibed, placing her son on her hip and heading towards the door.

His weak voice stopped her in her tracks before she could get through the door, "Can I hold him?"

Her hands automatically clenched around her son at his request, her body tensing with her desire to flee. Naturally she wanted to say no but the moment he started pleading, Jana  knew she couldn't say no.

"Please" he begged, his voice so beaten down that she felt herself melting to him. It couldn't hurt to allow him to hold his son, in fact it would be good because then Simeon would fully understand everything he had missed out on. That loss would only be exacerbated when he finally saw Zosia but for now she would teach him his first lesson.

Turning around and heading toward him she reluctantly placed Luc in his father's arms, he squirmed for a bit, not used to Simeon but at Jana's soft hushing he settled.

Simeon smiled at him in wonder, rubbing Lucjan's cheeks and making those weird baby noises and faces that everyone seemed to do around children, "I can't believe he's mine" he murmured.

Jana's head shot up as she stared at him in befuddlement and then she was cackling, laughter tumbling out of her lips, "He is no more your son than you are a good father to Zosia,"

"I don't understand," His face turning red in confusion and embarrassment as she snatched Lucjan away from him and the baby happily went, gurgling his gummy smile at his mother in a way he hadn't for Simeon.

"Just because you donated half your DNA to Luc's creation doesn't give you the right to be his father," she spat.

"His name is Luck?" He questioned incredulously face sour as if he didn't like the name.

"His name is Lucjan and you would have known that had you been there Simeon but you weren't... You never are there when we need you and so you are not entitled to MY son!" She put emphasis on that possessive noun because he was hers.

Lucjan was hers and only hers because she had been the only parental voice Luc had heard when he was in the womb. She had been the one to go through the worst labour ever, she had been the one to raise him these last few months.

It was her. All her and so Simeon had no right to her son, bood or not.

"As his mother it is my duty to protect him and that is what I am doing. You are not permitted to see my son whilst unattended until you prove yourself worthy and..." her voice raised higher as he tried to interject.

"And you will be given arranged days and hours in which you can see him. Until you prove that you can be a good and reliable father, you will be monitored at every step and since no one likes you Simeon, there will be a lot of eyes monitoring!"

She was as cold as ice, her face thunderous but her voice had become level because there was no reason to shout. This was her decision and he had no choice but to listen because as a pack female she had rights that he did not have as a Rogue.

"Lastly, I need to clarify if you are staying or going. If you leave then you revoke all rights to your children and I will not be giving you a second chance so choose wisely," she finalised, her back straightening as she left him standing there in disarray.

His hope crumbling around him just like hers had in those first few months.

He had choices to make and regardless of what he decided, she would not make it easy for him, because she had two children to think of.

Simeon had to bend to her will.

It was just the way of the law and for once it was on her side.