When I walk into cheer practice, I see all the other girls getting ready, lacing their shoes and pulling up their hair. I spot Riley and her posse sitting on the bleachers, chatting amongst themselves as they wait for the other girls to show up. Coach walks in a second later, pointing at each one of us as she silently does a head count.

"Alright, ladies," she calls once everyone's accounted for. "Get stretching, and then we can practice doing some throws."

Riley groans loudly at the throws part, looking over at me in disgust. She takes her index finger and pulls her nose up, and even from a distance I can hear the oinking noises she's making. My stomach pangs, and I'm suddenly conscious of how my thighs barely have a gap, how my belly pudges out when I eat anything; self conscious about the way my arms move when I wave and the amount of chins I get when I laugh.

Coach's voice cuts through my thoughts, pulling me from my self-hating barrage. "Let's go ladies, no time to waste!"

With that, all of the girls get to the floor, warming up. I sit on the ground and stretch my body forward, grabbing the tips of my shoes and leaning my body against my legs. Laughter drifts towards me, and when I get back up I notice Riley and Kaylee laughing at me. Kaylee grabs her 'back fat' and pulls on it, pointing at my back with a sick grin.

I try my best to ignore it, but God I just want to kick those annoying bitches in the face. However, being the bigger person- ouch -I let it slide. We go on to practice our routine for Saturday's game, and Coach tells the flyers to get with their respective team mates. Previously, Riley and the other girls I was close with on the cheer team were the ones throwing me, but after yesterday's debacle, I don't trust them with my safety.

Unfortunately, I don't have much of a choice- All the other girls are either already paired up or too absorbed in their own practice to notice me lingering. With a sigh, I drag my feet over, my water bottle clutched tightly in my hand. Riley's grin widens as I approach, my steps hesitant, my heart pounding in my chest. Her gaze flicks over me, appraising, like I'm a piece of meat at the butcher's.

"Hope you girls have been hitting the gym," Riley teases, her voice sugary sweet but with an unmistakable edge. Her eyes sweep over me one last time, and then she delivers the blow. "We've got our work cut out for us, huh, little piggy?"

The words hit like a gut punch, and all of a sudden, I'm not in the gym anymore. I'm ten years old, standing in a department store dressing room. The air is thick with the smell of stale fabric, and the fluorescent lights burn down from above, making everything feel too bright, too harsh. I'm standing there in front of the mirror, tears streaking down my face, as my mom struggles to pull a shirt down over my belly. It's too small, and the fabric stretches painfully tight. My mom huffs in frustration, wiping sweat from her brow, and finally gives up. She slumps onto the bench behind me, exhausted and disappointed.

"I mean, seriously, Ava," she sighs, her voice sharp as the scolding words hit me like daggers. "You need to lose some weight. You're too big for... everything. Stop being such a little piggy."

The memory feels so vivid, and I can almost feel the fabric clinging to me, the heat rising to my cheeks as shame washes over me. But then, like a rubber band snapping back, I'm yanked back into the present by a sudden sharp pain in my hand. My vision clears, and I realize I'm no longer standing still. Coach has a firm grip on my arm, dragging me away as a shrill scream pierces the room.

"Ava!" Coach says, her voice stern, but there's confusion in her eyes as she shakes her head. "I'd tell you to go to the principal's office, but... well, she's already home for the day." Coach sighs, scratching the back of her head, clearly at a loss for what to do. "Just go home, alright?"

I'm still reeling, my body buzzing with adrenaline, but my eyes instinctively flick towards Riley. She's cradling her face in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks. A deep, angry red handprint blooms on the side of her face, and I look down at my own hand, stunned. It feels as though a hundred bees stung it at once, and it's only then I realize how hard I must have slapped Riley.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" The words spill out of my mouth, but they feel hollow, drowned out by the sound of Riley's sobs.

"Absolutely no excuses for hitting another teammate," Coach replies, her voice dipped in disappointment. She massages the bridge of her nose, sighing deeply as she walks towards Riley to console her. "We'll discuss how we're going to handle this later. For now, just go home, okay?"

As I trudge out of the gym, the weight of what just happened presses heavily on my chest. My walk of shame is met with pitiful glances and disappointed furrowed brows. I've been part of this cheer team since I first set foot in high school- these girls are supposed to be like family to me. But now, the way they look at me, like I've become something broken or irredeemable, makes me feel like I could just vanish into thin air. My insides twist with embarrassment, and the urge to implode grows stronger with every step.

Once I've grabbed my bags and left the crime scene, I snatch my phone from my pocket to go and call Lexi. Before I have a chance to press the talk button, I notice a missed text, a simple, "Hey."

My heart skips a beat, but I try not to hypothesize. It's probably a rando bot, who's going to send me a titty pic after a few texts. However, I can't help but reply, "Who is this?" as I walk through the school's heavy doors, sitting on the steps out front.

I don't wait for a response before I press Lexi's name on my phone, and her answer is almost instantaneous. As soon as I hear her voice on the other line, the dam breaks. "They kicked me from cheer practice today," I manage to say, swallowing the lump in my throat hard as I angrily swipe away tears. "I slapped Riley."

Laughter erupts from the phone, and I literally have to pull it away from my ear or risk hearing loss. "Fuck that little bitch!" I hear Lexi chant, before I hear a voice in the background say to watch the language. "Mooom, Ava was getting picked on and she stood up for herself!"

"Yeah, fuck that little bitch," I hear Mrs. Grayson say after a brief moment, and I burst into laughter despite myself.

I rub my hand down my face, pulling at it as I groan. "Can you come pick me up?" I ask quietly. "I know, I know you literally just left-"

Before I can finish my sentence, I hear the familiar sound of keys jingling through the phone, and quiet mumbling on her end. "On my way," Lex responds, and I thank her repeatedly. "It's my pleasure, really. See you soon."

When the call ends, my phone flashes with a missed text from a few minutes ago. "Milo," the text reads, and my heart jumps to my throat. The air around me seems to vanish, and I find it getting hard to breathe. I'm suddenly very aware of how hot my cheeks are, and I tug on the collar of my shirt in a desperate attempt to cool my body down.

"Oh," I write back dumbly.

After I hit send, I read it over and over, my face flushing in embarrassment. Oh? Very cool, Ava. Very smooth. I groan to myself, smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand, cringing at how stiff and awkward I sound. My brain scrambles, running through a hundred better things I could have said, all the witty responses that are now glaringly obvious. My fingers hover uncertainly above the keyboard as I try to think of a way to salvage the situation, but before I can come up with anything, my phone buzzes again. Milo's already texted me back.

"Yeah," Milo replies, and I instinctively bite my lip, feeling a nervous flutter in my chest. I can't help but wonder what he's doing right now. Did he stare at his phone like I did, trying to craft the perfect response? Or did he just casually type out that single word without a second thought? It's maddening, imagining him taking all that time just to send a simple "Yeah." And yet here I am, obsessing over every little detail, trying to decode the one-word message like it holds some unknown meaning.

Lexi pulls up just moments later, the Hamilton soundtrack blaring through the speakers of her sleek, brand-new car. Her parents are stupid rich- everything in their house practically shimmers with newness and luxury. Do I have any clue what they do for a living? Hell no. But do I appreciate the endless sushi dinners and the occasional two-hundred-dollar bottle of champagne? Hell yeah.

"Get in, loser," Lexi calls as she rolls down the window with a grin. She looks like a superstar as she pushes her sunglasses up through her ginger hair, her curls falling perfectly around her face. "Well? Don't just stand there, get in!"

After faltering for a second, I grab my stuff and shuffle towards her car. Lex unlocks the door for me, and I huck my stuff in her backseat with reckless abandonment. I probably won't have much need for my cheer bag once they kick me from the team.

Lexi glances over and notices me spiraling into my own thoughts. She reaches over and places a gentle hand on my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Get out of your head," she demands as we pull away from that godforsaken school. Her voice snaps me back to reality, and I realize just how tight my chest has been, how shallow my breaths have become. With every mile we put between us and that place, I feel the tension in my body start to unravel, like I can finally take a full breath again.

My phone buzzes in my lap, and Milo's name pops up again. All thoughts of relaxation are gone as I read his message, "Meet you at the park down the street from school tomorrow?"

I almost instinctively type "yes," before stopping myself, remembering that tomorrow is Friday- my date with Jake is fast approaching. It's not that I'm not excited, but the thought gives me pause. Sure, Jake is hands down the most beautiful guy in school- tall, muscular, tan, with hair even blonder than mine in that mushroom shape everyone seems to love right now. But beneath all that, Jake's... well, boring. He has less personality than a saltine cracker, and the thought of spending hours trying to make conversation with him feels more exhausting than exciting.

I remind myself I'm not really there for him, rather his body, and the thought leaves me with an icky feeling in my core. My nose scrunches up instinctively, and I shake the thoughts from my head. Lexi, oblivious to my inner turmoil, looks over at me with mock concern.

"Should I be pulling into a mental hospital instead, or...?" Lex asks with a quirked brow as she sees my face twist and contort as I think. "I don't think I've seen you say so little, but your face say so much. Usually it's the opposite."

I shoot her a glare, rolling my eyes as she laughs at my expense. "Milo texted me," I say quietly after a minute of weighing how I should go about this. "He wants to meet tomorrow to do the project, but..."

"But tomorrow is your date with Jake," Lexi finishes, pursing her glossy lips in the rear view mirror as she ponders it. "You've been excited to go on a date with Jake since he asked you out... I think you should go through with it, maybe it'll distract you from everything going on."

I nod, but the nagging feeling in my gut doesn't fade as I open up Milo's text thread. "Can't," I respond simply, gnawing at my bottom lip as anxiety swirls in my stomach. "Busy. Saturday?"

Milo's response is quick, and it makes me smile slightly. "Don't you preppy bitches have a game to cheer at?" Despite our dislike for each other, the text seems lighthearted enough.

All previous thoughts are pushed to the side as Lexi's massive house pulls into view not too long later, the marble arches a welcoming sight. The family's dog is laying on the steps, his tail wagging excitedly when he sees Lexi's car pull into the driveway. Once we're out, I pick up Otis, giving him little kisses all over his gray head.

"Who's so smelly?" I coo, my bags balanced on either arm as I carry the dachshund inside Lexi's house.

"Leave my dog alone," she whines, giving Otis a scratch behind the ears as she kicks off her Birkenstocks. "Momma, we're back!"

Lexi's mom appears down the stairs a moment later, dressed nicely in a blouse and slacks, pearls adorning her ears and neck. Her and Lexi look so similar, they might as well be sisters. Botox does wonders. "Hi, girls!" She calls down excitedly, blowing me a kiss. I pretend to catch it and shove it in my pocket with a wink. "I have a few more things to finish up with at work, and then we can go out and get some food? There's this new Indian tasting menu that I've been dying to try."

We chat for a few more seconds before she disappears into her office, the door closing quietly behind her to drown Lexi and I out. We head up the long, spiral staircase to Lexi's room, the click of our footsteps echoing in the grand hallway.

Even though the maid had just cleaned this morning, Lexi's room is already in shambles. Clothes are strewn across every available surface, and her vanity looks like it's been hit by a tornado, with makeup and hair products scattered everywhere. Her king-sized bed is rumpled, evidence that she had been lounging on it earlier. Without hesitation, she throws herself down on it again, making the mess even worse.

"I just know Maria hates you," I say with fake disgust as I make myself a path to her bed. "If my mom saw my room like this, she would hang me by my toenails until I lost consciousness."

Though Lexi and I laugh, she subtly slips her arm around me as I sit down, pulling me into a cuddle. "And that's why this is basically your house, too."

The familiarity of Lexi's room, of her hands running through my hair, is enough to make my eyes flutter closed. Lexi's white noise machine suddenly kicks on, and I know it's a wrap for us. We discard our bras and pants, and settle into bed, Lexi spooning me.

"Thanks for being such a good best friend," I whisper to her, tangling my fingers with hers as she rests them around my waist. I feel the warmth of her breath on my shoulder as we settle in further. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Die, probably," she kids, resting her head on my shoulder.

She's not wrong. I probably wouldn't be here without her and her incredible parents. I feel a surge of gratitude, lucky to have found a second home with a family that welcomes me in with open arms. As I sink deeper into the soft bedding, the weight of the day begins to lift, and I drift off into a peaceful sleep, knowing I'm safe here.