"It's a deep anguish to be abandoned by your own family. If those of your own blood forsake you are truly forsaken...You are really alone, especially if you are abandoned by those who were supposed to care for you.

- Pearls Of Eternity, Bangambiki Habyarimana

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"This is going to be the last time we ever we talk or meet. After this you and me, we are done!" Her son had firmly told her.

"From today on, I don't want any kind of connection or relationship between us, not even one of hatred, not one of pain, nothing," he had told her with finality in his voice as he had stared at her with a strong resolve.

Nirmala had not expected it, for some reason after hearing Ramnaath Malhotra admitting the fatal mistakes he had made, she had foolishly thought that the day had come, the day her son would get to know the whole truth - the day she would be able to be a part of his life without explanation or guilt. But she had been wronged by her own desire to be seen as an innocent. After the shock of his unfair behavior towards her wore off, she had asked him if even after knowing everything; his father's crimes against her, her suffering and her longing for her only child - couldn't he forget about the past and accept her? Didn't his heart melt after knowing everything she went through? Didn't he think she was worthy of his mercy?

His answer was;

"No. You have been content in this past decade and have moved on, so has my father, it was only I who haven't. I was the one who never felt at peace, never had a home, no one who was by my side, and even now that's not going to change, nothing will change that," he told her, his face devoted to any expression, his eyes hard as he had looked back at her, merciless.

"You are punishing yourself," Ramnaath had stated, "Don't do that to yourself, Shravan," he had whispered painfully.

"Why shouldn't I? After all, everything that happened was because of me; I had been the sole reason and cause of everything that went wrong," he had muttered in a tired voice.

"But don't you see that your stubbornness, your pain, and your suffering are only hurting the people who love you," Nirmala accused with a frown.

"Good," he had said with a careless shrug, his arms warped around his chest in a defensive manner.

After a thought, she had realized things wouldn't go the way she had imagined, so she turned their conversation to the person she knew he would react to; Suman Tiwari.

"Why didn't you tell Suman that you  love her?" She asked, staring at him as he let out a shattering sigh at the abrupt change the topic of their conversation before smiling at her ironically but didn't say anything until she repeated the question once again.

"You had asked me what I want from you. Well, I want your honest answer; why didn't you tell Suman?" She asked him, curious and confused, hoping that somehow the answer would clear for them both parents the path which they have to take to bring the peace of their son's life and Suman Tiwari back in his life.

But when she looked up at him for the answer, suddenly once again a sardonic smirk was all she got as he looked at her with an amused expression on his face before sighing.

"Even though I am not answerable to you, nor I owe you any explanation but as it's all out in open so let me ask; when should I have done that? When you left me or when you came back? Well, let me inform you; I have tried to tell her on both occasions. But you know what happened? You happened, Mrs Nirmala Ahu-sorry, Malhotra, your coming back ruined things for me as you leaving me had," Shravan said as he looked at her with nothing but coldness and accusations in his eyes, his words finally freed from the cage he had locked them into to not appear weak, vulnerable, but he wasn't going to hold back anything now because he didn't care...

Not anymore...

He didn't care if he was hurting others with his words, with his truth and secrets. He had been telling lies for so long that everyone had started to believe him but the truth was that he wasn't fine, he had never been ever since the day his mother walked out, leaving him behind without an answer or explanation, he had tried to cope with the reality, tried to pretend that he has moved on but the biggest truth of his life was that he hasn't...

He never could...

He still was stuck in that day, living it on loop, the day his mother walked out of the four walls he had thought of as his home, the day when the girl who he had mistaken as his best friend and more didn't even hear him out when he needed her the most...

Beneath all the half smiles, success, failures and achievements, he was nothing more than a boy who kept wondering on the streets, crying over the fact that his mother left him and the girl who meant so much to him didn't even want to acknowledge his existence...

He was still stuck in that day, living it over and over from the past decade, and all the changes he went through, his failures and his accomplishments, moments of sadness and happiness, changed nothing.

Nothing...

"That day, Suman brought you back, I had gone there to confess that I loved her. How naive of her, right? She thought you coming back in my life would heal me, but the truth is, it did nothing but took away from me my only chance to be at peace with my past. Meeting you, even for a few minutes cost me my only parent because he has not been my father ever since then..." he said as he stared at her with an expressionless face yet wet with tears slipping from his eyes, too tired to hold back his resentment, his regret.

"To prove my loyalty to him, I pushed her away, but in the end, I got no one, not Suman, nor my father, and you never we're there to begin with," he stuttered, letting out a tiring sigh before he shook his head as, despite his attempt to appear strong, his eyes had given away his pain he tried too hard to hide.

"Ten years ago, your leaving me behind had destroyed everything in my life and when you reappeared a few months back, you were like a hurricane that destroyed everything that I had held close to my chest, had protected for years - my father, Suman, I lost both of them due to your arrival," he whispered, blinking away the tears, clenching his fists more tightly to control the trembling of his voice.

"From that day on, the man who is now standing beside you has not been my father, only the husband you left behind, bitter, resentful and wounded, so afraid that he would lose me to you as if I have been nothing more than a trophy to taunt you with. I don't recognize him anymore. All these years, I had lived in the illusion that my father loved me the most, surely loved me more than he hated you, but I was wrong," he said with a sardonic smirk, his eyes expressing his hurt as he looked at his father.

"But I shouldn't have been surprised, right? After all, the hatred one feels for you always win in the end, be it mine or my father's, the hatred felt for you is always stronger than anything else, and the one who bore the consequence of that hatred, the one who got destroyed was me," he concluded nonchalantly with a bemused smile, before continuing with a sigh; "but now I had had enough. I don't want you in my life, not as my mother nor as someone I hate. I want to be indifferent towards you, to what you have done and what you would do. I want to move on with my life and leave you and the wounds given by you behind me," he told her with a strong resolve and for the first time in his life, the reason behind his decision was no one but he himself, nothing but his own betterment.

"Don't say that, Shravan, you need me. You need your mother and I promise to you that I would redeem myself and be the mother you need," Nirmala said, grief-stricken as restlessness took over her along with the desperation to make things right.

She had known and accepted it; she had always known that she had lost her son but after hearing those words in such strong resolve, she realized how much she desired otherwise. She still could mend things, for some reason she kept assuring herself, desperately.

"You are wrong, I don't need you. You were not there when I needed you - when I depended on you, so why should you be here now when I don't need you? I needed you when I was making fatal mistakes - when I was confused between right and wrong but you weren't there. You weren't there when I took drastic steps just to prove my loyalty to my father whenever he reminded me of how much he had sacrificed for me, how he didn't resent me even though I am your son, how he didn't remarry, had a family of his own because of me. I tried so hard to prove to him that I am worthy of his love, show him how grateful I am to him, but nothing could win over the hatred he has for you. I had held on so tightly, so fearful to lose, yet in the end, lost him too," he said as he shook his head, before continuing;

"You weren't there for me when I was stupid enough to humiliate Suman, our friendship and destroyed everything that was precious to me just because I couldn't take it that it was your son she chose over me. All of that has already happened, and do you know why all of it happened? Because I was stupid enough to let it happen, but not anymore. So you see, Nirmala Ahuja or Malhotra, I don't need you, I don't need anyone," he told her with a shrug, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand in a harsh manner, his lips set in a firm line and face expressionless.

As they stood there, side by side and saw their only child in such state, wounded and hurt by the both of the parents in different ways, out of habit they blamed the other one, their thoughts went to the same direction as they always had: the easiest way to not feel the overwhelming guilt and regret was to blame each other and that was what they did;

Ramnaath, who had been standing there, listening to their conversation with a heavy heart finally opened his mouth to say something but was defeated in their never-ending games of blame by her as she hurried to clear her own stand in the eyes of their son.

"I - Shravan, I didn't have any idea you were suffering so much, I didn't know. I thought you were happy, and you were living a good life because you had a good father, but I should have known that Mr Ramnaath Malhotra has the ability to ruin everything due to his need of dominating others lives, he selfishness has been the cause of everything we have suffered," she said as she glared at the man standing beside her.

The truth was that from the past decade, every time she had missed Shravan, she had told herself that his father was with him, to protect him, to look after him, that there was no one better than Ramnaath to take care of Shravan as he had always proved himself as a very caring and protective father.

Ever since they had gotten married, she had found him lacking in many ways, as a husband, as a man, as a human being, but never as a father. Ramnaath had been a great father, ever since the day their son had been born and that thought was enough to reassure herself that Shravan was getting cared of, but only now she realized that she should have known better, she thought with resentment as she glared at him with bitterness and accusation. She should have known that he would lack as a father as well because he was too selfish, too controlling and craved to achieve whatever he aimed at and clearly, in the process, he has ruined their son's life...

"You say that he was wrong, never had been good enough, but then you left me with him, why?" Shravan asked her something he always wanted to know.

He had wondered the reason in the darkest nights when he laid on his bed, missing her, despite the hate he had been feeding in his heart for his own sanity. With sleep miles away from his eyes, he had listed reasons that could explain why he was left behind; was that because the man she left them for, didn't want her to bring him? Was that because he would have reminded her of his father? Was that because she was tired of him? Was that because she didn't love him anymore or was her love for the other man more powerful than the one she felt for her son? What was the reason?

'What was the reason?' He still wondered as he looked at her, somewhat impatient to know the answer that had kept him awake at nights.

As Ramnaath looked at him, he let out a shallow breath, his heart aching painfully at the sight of his child so broken and devastated standing in front of them as he, for once, let them know how many open wounds he has, how much baggage he had been carrying for the past decade only because of their mistakes and wrongdoings.

"Because your father didn't let me," she justified again, her words sounding shallow, empty to her own ears.

"No, that's not enough. Tell me the real reason," he calmly told her as he stared at her who looked back at him wordlessly. Receiving only speechless silence as his answer, he nodded before giving up with a painful smile.

"Doesn't matter. Not anymore," he whispered before walking past them towards the door but was stopped by his father as he held his arm in a tight grip as if he was afraid of letting him go, afraid that he would leave if he wasn't stopped...

He let out a tiring sigh before turning to his side, he looked into his father's eyes and shook his head, answering the question he saw there. He pulled his arm out of the tight grip and walked towards the door, but before he could storm out as he wanted to, he found her standing there, frozen right in front of the door. The look on her face said it all; she heard each word said by him, the thought stopped his heartbeat, his whole system going into a frantic panic, freaking out but it lasted only for a second. With a blink of an eye, he realized that he shouldn't care anymore. Her reaction or rejection shouldn't affect him anymore because he already had been rejected and he had already known her reaction. She didn't care. She was about to marry some other guy and would have been happily married if it wasn't for that night, therefore that meant she had already rejected him, so there was no reason to panic or even cry over slipped milk anymore.

Finally freed from each and every secret of his, freed from the burden of appearing strong, with a numb mind he once again started walking on the path he intended to. Ignoring her calls, he moved forward towards the door before carelessly banging it behind him.

As he breathed in the fresh air, the blinding heat of midday sun warming his cold self, he felt finally freed by his own tragedies, realizing that strangely there was a certain kind of solace and peace in letting go...

So he had let go off, let go of each person he held precious, close to his heart, tightly in fear of losing them, only now understanding that he shouldn't have because he lost them anyway...

Letting go of the love he tried so hard to make his, letting go of the hatred that had poisoned his life, letting go of his father he thought as his lifeline, letting go of the burden of his insecurities, responsibilities and fears, letting go everything and everyone...

Shravan was freed...

And empty...

Gone...

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A/N:- Ahhh, Finally... The final part of Nirmala-Shravan-Ramnaath conversation. This chapter had to be something that helped Shravan decide where he wants to go... but Shravan being Shravan wouldn't tell me where is that he wanted it to go... He always cares too much, loves too much and hurts too much...

But for once, even in his state of 'don't care' & 'too numb to care', he ended up expressing how much he is still hurting and how he was wronged, so the phase of healing can finally take place...

So, I don't know if this was what you had been expecting - though I desperately wish it was -I hope you all liked it and it was worth the wait... 

Happy New year in advance... :)

May the new year bless you with health, wealth, happiness and strength to achieve your goals... :)

I truly appreciate your kind words and involvement, thank you for reading, liking, commenting and voting this story so far... I hope you will continue to enjoy my work... :)

Thank you... :)