"As long as he deceived himself about the truth, he could blame fortune and have confidence in the future. Now the clouds of madness were closing around his mind."

- Hermann Bahr

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It was past three am, the darkest hour of the night, and no soul in Tiwari Killa was awake, with only her as an exception. Suman roamed around the house, constantly checking and rechecking if any of the windows, doors, or any route to enter Tiwari Killa was left open. The fear she had been feeling sunk in more and more as night fell into its darkest phase. She knew her fears were baseless. She knew Aditya would never come back again, but she just couldn't shake off the fear that he would...

She was unable to step into her own room because that place no longer was a refuge for her; no longer it was her safe haven. Now It has become the place where everything happened, and no matter what she told herself, she could not step in there without looking at every corner of the room in fear, expecting Aditya to jump out and attack her.

Her mind would come up with the most horrific scenarios and then, true to her nature, she would start thinking of the ways to get out of those situations; she would use all her energy to punch him, push him away, throw the lamp at him, break the vase on his head, scream out and call Shravan...

Call Shravan...

Why did she still think of him as someone who would save her? She couldn't guess. Maybe it was out of habit, both hers and his. Wasn't that what they had always done ever since they met? The past they both were stuck in was so precious to them because everything was better. Back then, they both used to be there for each other. Both were each other's pillars of support and the only ones with whom they shared their daily problems. She missed that equation of theirs, and she knew Shravan did the same...

'What happened to us, Shravan? That friendship, that comfort, where did all that go?' She wondered as she talked to him in her mind, a decade-old habit of hers. Only when he hadn't been around her, she had realized his importance in her life and she had started to address him in her mind. Whenever she felt the need to share something, she would talk with him, even if the conversation only happened in her mind. A Shravan has been living there from the day he had left to go to London and had left behind a void in her life, an emptiness that no one and nothing could fill...

As she thought about it, she realized maybe that was the reason why they had communication problems; both of them had gotten so used to living away from each other that they could not handle their relationship when the distance between them was no longer a problem. Or maybe the reason was her inability to understand him as she had understood the Shravan he used to be back then or even the Shravan who had been living in her mind for the past decade. Those versions of Shravan were always by her side, especially the one he lived in her mind as he could understand her without her telling him anything...

Everything became so complicated when she was around the real Shravan...

But the truth was that the only Shravan who mattered the most was the Shravan he was now. He now was a complete mystery to her. He was like the Rubik's cube he had left behind with her, the one she tried so hard to solve, but she couldn't succeed no matter how hard she tried...

As she thought about him, she was reminded of what she had revealed to him before walking away from him. There was no denying that his father was the most important person in his life. What she had told him, what he was going to know from his father, would be enough to break him...

'God, please, make Shravan alright...' She prayed as she checked the already closed windows and made her way to Nanu's room.

She quietly stepped inside the room and found her Nanu finally sleeping peacefully. With a sigh of relief, she turned around and made her way to the downstairs. And when she reached the middle of the hall, once again she was reminded of what had happened a few hours ago when she had walked into the hall after talking with Shravan. Each member of her family, in their own way, had asked her if she was feeling okay - if she was fine. And even though she had told everyone that she was okay, and she really had tried to appear strong, but as soon as she was left alone, she had realized she wasn't fine at all... 

But was there anyone around whom she felt as if there was no need to pretend to be strong?

Each member of her family, in one way or another, had let her know that the blame for her broken marriage fell on her. They had given different reasons for that, but did the reasons matter? While Nanu and Mama thought she should have told them about Aditya's constant taunts, Mami and Masi thought she should have explained things to Aditya in a better way. They said: 'Every man has his insecurities, it's the woman who has to compromise'. They thought to some extent Aditya wasn't wrong in doing what he did. And after giving her their reactions and inputs, they had walked away, leaving her on her own...

After a long shower and changing into her old clothes, when she had gone to her Nanu's room, he had held her hand in between his and had told her that he was glad that he hadn't married her off to a man like Aditya. He had told her but that didn't mean he wasn't disappointed that she hadn't trusted him with what was happening in her life. She had sat there quietly, without asking him how could she have told him the truth when her fear of losing him to death was so overpowering? She had done what was the need of the hour to save the only person she had as hers. But she hadn't told him that, nor she had argued with anyone else. Was there even a need for her to explain anything to anyone?

Shaking her head, feeling disheartened, she made her way to the main door to recheck if she had locked it properly. But when she came to stand in front of it, she felt the strange need to open it and see if there was anyone outside. Slowly, with her heart beating fast in fear, she opened the door and gasped when she found someone sitting outside on the floor, leaning on the pillar next to him. He was facing the garden while resting his head on the pillar. 

And she would have screamed or banged the door loudly in a hurry to close it if it wasn't for the fact that within her next breath, she recognized the person who was now sitting in the dark with his back to the door she was holding tightly.

As if he had sensed her, without looking back, he sat upright, silently acknowledging her presence. He didn't turn around to look at her, even when he heard her closing the door behind her and walking towards him.

"Shravan?" She called him out.

"I know you don't want me anywhere around you, but I don't know where else to go..." He whispered.

His voice sounded hoarse, as if he had been crying for hours and it broke her heart. No matter what, she could never pretend to be indifferent to his pain. When she reached where he was sitting, she slowly sat down next to him and looked up at him as he gazed out into the darkness.

She didn't know for how long they sat there, side by side, without him looking at her as she continued to only stare at him, even though the dim light only illuminated the side of his face. With a sigh, she blinked a few times and turned to gaze in front of her just as he was and she realized that for once, the silence between them disturbed neither of them.

It wasn't a silence of peace, or because they didn't have anything to say. It was because with all that had happened in the night - a night that still hasn't ended - they didn't have anything left within them, only emptiness. They weren't sitting together now because they were ready to forgive each other, or forget what had happened, but because they were clinging to that one quality of their bond that seemed to have survived all, that one quality that had always been there in their bond; the assurance that they could rely on each other in the time of need. It was still there because no matter what happened, they couldn't let go of that.

They needed to talk. There was still so much that needed to be told, to be heard, but the time to do that still had to come. The night they have lived has scarred them, left them bleeding and broken, and what they needed from each other was the security that the other constants, the other rocks of their lives couldn't provide them at the moment. The constant in her life was Nanu as the rock of his life was his father, and both of them had held on them too tightly. But now she couldn't talk to her Nanu and he didn't want to talk to his father.

"Last night, I had thought that tonight would be the darkest night of my life because you would be married to someone else. You didn't get married, but tonight is still the darkest night of my life," he whispered slowly, confessing without any hesitation.

Suman's head snapped up, and she turned to look at him, shocked at how easily he had confessed that. As she took in his defeated stance, she understood the reason why there was no hesitation in his confession; it was because he was far too gone to even care.

"The only difference is that this night is worse than I had predicted it to be. Not only I have lost you but also my father," he whispered with no expression on his face, as if he was too exhausted to care.

"That's not true, Shravan. Ramnaath uncle loves you, and cares for you so much that you are never going to lose him. Ever," she consoled him. No matter how much she didn't approve of his father's actions, there was no denying that Shravan was his only priority.

When Shravan turned to look at her, she found out that his eyes were red and his cheeks were stained with an endless stream of tears. His eyes were crying while he had a blank expression on his face, as if he didn't realize that tears were still slipping from his eyes. Or was it because he didn't care anymore? She wondered as her own vision got blurry.

The way he continued looking at her gave her the impression that this time he didn't intend to hide anything from her. For the first time since he was back, he didn't have walls around him to hide his pain, he wasn't covering it up with his anger. He was letting her in as he had done a decade before when he used to share with her his worries for his parents and their broken marriage.

But right now, she knew it wasn't because she had earned it, but because so much had happened in one night that he didn't have any energy in him to pretend that he was anything but broken. So wounded and vulnerable that he no longer had in him to hide his scars and his open wounds.

"You were right. Women have nothing to do with abandonment or evilness. But do you know who I found was actually at fault? It wasn't Nirmala Ahuja or you, not even my father. I couldn't see it clearly before, but I do now. It's me. I am the one who is at fault," he said with a sigh as he blinked to get rid of the water that was making her appear as if she was evolved into a fog.

"Shravan..." she whispered as shook her head, denying the conclusion he had reached.

"It's me who never was worthy of being someone's priority. I am not worthy enough of being loved or cared for the way I want to be loved or taken care of. I don't know how, but I kept making the same mistakes that pushed away the ones I so desperately wanted to hold on to. Three people can't go wrong on the same thing, Sumo, which proves I was expecting too much from you three," Shravan whispered brokenly before letting out a shuddering sigh.

"The love I feel for my loved ones and the love they feel for me ruins them. They do things they should never have, they become what never wanted to be..." He stopped as his voice started to shake under the pressure of the pain he felt in his heart at that thought.

"That's not true Shravan, we have made our mistakes. No one here is blameless," Suman said as she forcefully turned him to look at her by holding his shoulders.

Sitting on her knees in front of him, with her hands resting on his shoulders, she shook him up when he kept moving his head from side to side, denying what she was telling him.

"Shravan, please. Listen to me!" she screamed out, snapping him out of his denial.

"Shravan..." She called him out and when his attention was on her, she slowly moved her hands up to the back of his neck as she kept looking into his eyes.

"You have given the three of us - me and your parents - way too much power over you, your life, and your actions. Your reactions depend too much on our actions, as if you have no liberty on your own. As if you yourself hold no power over things that define you. You had bound yourself to us in such a way that it's not healthy. You are such an extremist, Shravan Malhotra, you do everything beyond limits." She said as she shook her head at him before continuing.

"While you don't even trust your mother to hear her out, you trust your father way too much, too blindly. And me...I have craved your trust, and when you were ready to give it to me, I didn't realize that because till then I was already pushing you away. You were too late for me, while I gave up too early for you." She said softly as she slowly kept caressing his jaw.

"We can't blame my father or Aditya for what happened between us, now can we?" He said as he kept looking up at her. His fingers slowly wiped the tears resting on her cheeks as she did the same for him.

"No, we can't. Our relationship was so fragile that it gave in and came crumbling down under slight external pressure," she agreed as she nodded.

"I am sorry, Sumo," he whispered slowly.

"I am sorry, too, Shravan," she softly said as she sadly smiled at him.

And when her knees started to hurt, she tried to move away from him, only to be stopped by him as he pulled her down while holding her waist and made her sit comfortably close to him before leaning back on the pillar. With their tights touching as they sat facing each other, she slowly moved closer to him and rested her forehead on his chest. Letting out a tiring sigh, she closed her eyes as she clutched his shirt with her right hand.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" He asked her softly as he rested his chin on her hair and wrapped his arms around her.

"I can't go into my own room, Shravan. It all happened in there. I know it's not true, but I feel like he is still in there, waiting for me to come in and..." She shuddered, shivering, unable to even complete the sentence.

"Sumo..." He whispered as he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her tighter.

Both sat there in silence, both lost in their thoughts. While she started to heal in the warmth of his protection, his mind started to find ways to eliminate her fears.

"Sumo?" He called her out and shook her after a few minutes.

"Hmm?" she asked as she pulled away from him.

"Let's go!" He said to her as he stood up.

"Where?" she asked when he pulled her up on her feet.

"Your room," he answered her as he started to drag her behind him.

"Shravan, what are you doing?" She asked him even though she kept on walking with him towards her room.

When they entered her room, Shravan took her to every corner of her room to make her realize that no one was in there. He even bent down to look under the bed as he made sure she did the same. Shaking her head at him, she softly smiled at him, realizing what he was up to.

"I know that my fear is baseless, Shravan, but that doesn't mean I can stop feeling that way," she said with a sigh as she sat on her bed.

"I promise you, Sumo, he won't come anywhere near you from now on. As I told Mrs Ahuja, I am going to file a restriction order in court this morning. And when I hand her a copy of it, he won't even be able to stay in the same city as you," he assured her as he moved the blanket from her bed, and without even him asking her, she moved to lay on her bed.

He didn't feel out of place as he evolved her in the blanket, nor did she, too used to the same practice because of the days he had spent doing the same after her accident - just a few months ago...

"Now close your eyes and go to sleep," he ordered her as he leaned back against the bed headboard.

"You are going to stay here, right?" She asked him, innocently, afraid to be left alone.

"Yes, I am here now. I am not going anywhere," he assured her softly before reaching out to hold her hand in his. Placing his hand between hers, assured that he wouldn't go anywhere, she finally closed her eyes to let the sleep take over her exhausted self.

Only when her breathing was even and her hold on his hand became more relaxed, Shravan breathed out in relief, assured that she was sleeping peacefully. Then he pulled his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the notification of the missed calls from his father, he messaged the intern training under him all the information needed to keep the papers ready so he could submit them to the court as soon as it opened. As he put his mobile aside, he felt his eyes grow heavy, making it difficult for him to keep them open and slowly, he gave too in, letting sleep take over him.

The next morning, that was how Raghuwer Tiwari found them when he walked into his granddaughter's room to check on her; Suman sleeping peacefully on her side as she held Shravan's hand between hers, and Shravan, on the other hand, was fast asleep with his back resting on the headboard as his long legs were awkwardly hanging off the bed. Raghuwer Tiwari stood there gasping at the sight in front of him. He didn't know what to make out of it. But as soon as he heard his daughter-in-law's voice just outside of the room, he hurriedly walked out of the room to stop her before she could walk into the room.

"What happened?" Manju asked his father-in-law when he kept standing in front of Suman's room without stepping aside to let her in.

"Suman is sleeping right now, let's not disturb her," He ordered, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

"Where are others?" He asked her, walking away from the room, forcing her to come after him.

"Everyone is sleeping. It's only 7 am. I just woke up to come to see Suman," Manju explained.

"You too go to sleep, Manju. Let Suman sleep in. Tell everyone to not go anywhere near her room until she wakes up herself," he ordered her before walking away.

Manju frowned at her father-in-law's order, noticing how strange he was acting. However, she quickly dismissed it as his worry for his favorite granddaughter and moved to her room to sleep. As she walked, she kept muttering about not being appreciated for her thoughtfulness.

Unaware of the happenings outside of the room, Shravan and Suman both kept on sleeping until the alarm on his phone went off. Shravan almost jumped off the bed to stop it from ringing so loudly. Worried that the noise may have woken her up, he turned around to look at her, only to find her looking back at him with her eyes half closed.

"What happened?" She asked him, confused.

"Nothing, go back to sleep," he told her, his voice husky from sleep.

As soon as she closed her eyes, he slowly tried to remove his hand from hers. Suddenly, her grip tightened on his hand, and when he looked up at her, he found her frowning at him in confusion.

"Sumo, I have to go to court. I will come back as soon as I can," he explained, promising to return to her soon.

With a sigh, she nodded and let go of his hand. And when he slowly patted her head to make her sleep again as if she was a child, a smile made its way to her lips and within a few minutes, she actually fell asleep.

'I will do whatever it takes to keep that smile intact...' He vowed to himself before making his way out of her room...

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A/N:- Sorry for the late update, but hopefully, you all liked it... :)

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts... :)

Thank you! :)

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