I held my little brother on my shoulders as I crossed the movie theater parking lot in the middle of the day on Christmas Eve. He was only four years old and jabbered on about how the snowflakes fascinated him to a great extent. Smiling to myself, I looked over at my parents holding hands and gazing into each others eyes as we entered into the palace of popcorn, films, and cheap prices. It was a family tradition ever since I was a little girl to go to the movies on Christmas Eve to pass the anxious hours of waiting for Santa to come.

The warm air welcomed me with open arms as the smell of buttery goodness lifted my spirits. It hadn't been the best holiday, not that any Christmas was ever terrible. However, I received word a month before break that Robby, my wide-eyed, all around curious cousin had indeed passed away due to a brain tumor. We were prepared for the news, just not this soon.

Thinking of his small, chubby face gazing into mine the last time we visited him made tears prick at my eyes. He would've loved coming to the movies with us. Even though he was only ten years old, the movie theater was one place he had never gone and was willing to go to. I held onto my brothers legs tight, just like I was trying to hold in my emotions.

Just then, something peculiar caught my eye. Not that it was out of place exactly, but in my mind, it was baffling. The jock, tough boy of our school, Casey, was coming out of the bathroom, bending down and holding his twin sisters' hands tightly as they shuffled along. I had hardly interacted with him before, other than the occasional hello.

Swallowing, I gulped down tears of the memory of my cousin and stared for much to long. So long, that he felt my eyes on him and he looked straight at me with those all-too-green eyes of his. His brown hair swooped across his forehead and he smiled contently for a moment before one of the girls pulled him away.

I stood paralyzed. Why in the world would Casey Cinders be here on Christmas Eve? From all the rumors I heard, his family was falling apart from the inside out; he was staying with a foster home, his siblings were separated from one another, and his parents had lost custody. If anything, I expected him to at least be with his foster family.

Squinting at him lifting up his sister to the pizza place counter connected to the movie theater, I felt a tug on my hair and almost forgot about my own brother on top of my shoulders.

"Let's go," he urged me. "I want to see a movie!"

He sounded just like Robby.

I could only nod and walk toward my parents who were carrying candy and drinks. I was close with my brother as well as Robby. They were both younger, I was the oldest all around by quite a few years. I grew attached easily and when Robby was gone, I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. It was just eighteen-year-old me and four-year-old Allen.

My mother in all her beauty was handing out tickets to the employee directing us where to go in the theater. She had long, spiral locks of dark hair that complimented my father's graying hair perfectly. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, and I was a little jealous on how lucky they were to have each other. Sometimes they acted like teenagers, which made me smile. Whenever I thought of God taking little Robby, I remembered the love He has provided between my parents and I relaxed from my questions toward Him.

God was still good. It took everything in me not to become bitter, but I knew that would solve nothing.

We entered the theater and took our seats. It was a kid movie, but who cares?

It wasn't suppose to be sad, but I couldn't ignore the tug on my heart as I began to think I could've done something to save his life. When Allen snuggled next to me, I held him tight. I prayed that I would be able to save someone's life to make up for Robby's, but that's impossible. I'm not a superhero, not a doctor. The only one who can save someone's life is Jesus.

I held that thought. I know I couldn't have done anything, and that killed me.

For the whole movie, I thought about saving people. Maybe Robby was suppose to be with God in Heaven right now. God knew it was best for him to go home earlier than the rest of us. I'm sure he loves it up there and is bouncing off the clouds in energy.

Allen squirmed next to me, then whispered in my ear about how he thought the reindeer was his favorite.

"Do you think that boy would've liked it?" he whispered to me. I drew my eyebrows in, confused.

"What boy?" I asked.

"The one you were looking at," he replied innocently, the shadows moving on his face as the scene continued.

I felt myself blush in the dark for no apparent reason. I never really was attracted to Casey Cinders, but whenever someone mentions me noticing a boy, it's embarrassing. I still haven't been in a relationship. Honestly, I don't know if I want to be in one.

"Yes, I'm sure he would've liked it," I said, smiling.

As the credits played and we were walking out, I noticed Casey still over in the restaurant section of the facility. He was sitting at a table, him and the little girls tracing something on the table with empty plates in front of them. For once, the smirky look on his face was gone and a genuine smile was there. I watched as the waiter went over, looking extremely cross and began speaking to them.

My gut was telling me to keep walking, but my heart made me stop in my tracks. I was so close to the door, I could just leave now. They continued to talk and my mind urged me to go over and see if I could be of any assistance.

On the other hand, this guy could totally beat me up if he wanted me to scram. It was Christmas though, and I hadn't done anything to offend Casey. If I just saw what was going on--

"I need to go to the bathroom really quick," I said to my parents who were holding Allen's hands between them.

"Okay sweetie," Dad replied as they went out the door.

I watched them go through the wind to the car before actually moving. I realized that Casey supposedly didn't have a father to back him up; he supposedly had no one. And now a nobody like me was going to try to help him after going through three years of highschool together not speaking?

Oh yeah, this was going to go well.

I wrapped my arms around me and tugged at the hat on my red hair as I absentmindedly put one foot in front of the other in the direction of the round pizza table. None of the four people noticed me approaching and I noticed how wide the identical girls' eyes had become.

Casey kept looking from the girls to the waiter tapping his foot impatiently.

"... can't pay, then I will call the authorities," the scrawny waiter was saying. His tone was like he was pinching his nose together all the time and it caught me off guard a bit.

My knees were shaking as I walked right up to the table, placed my palms facedown on the top, and leaned in to look up at the merciless man in the eye. He stared right back and I realized I was so close to Casey that I could feel his hot breaths on my face. I heard him lean back and wondered what his expression was, but didn't dare look.

For a long moment, none of us moved.

"And who would you be?" the standing kid asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose and narrowing his eyes at me.

"My question is who are you to be harassing these people? And on Christmas Eve of all days," I said in a low, menacing voice I didn't know I was capable of.

"If it was Christmas it would be different," he countered, crossing his arms and stepping even closer to the table. I knew it was rude but I couldn't help but think-- what a jerk.

"It practically is," I exclaimed and he raised his eyebrows.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Casey looking at me intently, but I ignored the feeling of my heart speeding up in my chest. I closed my eyed and took a deep breath, inhaling the smells of pizza. What does it take for one unfortunate soul to have a pizza on Christmas Eve? When I opened my eyes, I looked right at the waiter and forced a smile.

"How much?" I demanded quietly, regaining my composure and standing straight again.

"Twenty forty-five," he answered curtly.

I reached into my bag and began to pull my wallet out when a firm hand was laid on my wrist. I glanced up to see Casey looking worried and -- dare I say it? -- vulnerable. He stood, about a foot taller than me.

"Don't do this," he stated, still not letting go of my wrist.

"I have to," I blurted. He shook his head.

"Please Mayla--" he started.

"Well someone better give me twenty dollars in the next minute or I'm telling my manager," the annoying waiter declared, moving his hands to his waist. I threw him the worst glare I could manage before Casey stepped in front of me, blocking from seeing him.

"Mayla," Casey said in a hushed voice. "I can't let you do this."

His eyes suggested for me to leave and I had another revelation: this is the most this guy has ever spoken to me. Ever.

"I don't want you to get in trouble," I replied. I noticed his touch move to my hands and soon he was holding mine in his. I willed myself to hold in the fluttering feeling in my heart while he blinked.

"I can't."

"I will."

"Don't."

"Why?" I insisted.

"Because I already hurt you," he confessed, the words tumbling out of his mouth. I looked at our hands clasped together and saw how tightly he was holding them.

"How?" I whispered, stepping closer to him. He was all muscle, and I was probably as skinny as the waiter-boy over there. Casey could easily break me like a twig.

"My dad was on the surgical team when they were trying to save your cousin," he informed me. My gaze stopped cold in his eyes. He continued talking and I felt my blood run cold. "I just made the connection, I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Don't pay for it, I have money, I just was irresponsible and forgot to bring some."

"Robby..," I mumbled as tears started to fall.

"Wait, don't cry," he pleaded, his face twisting to sympathy. Through my blurred vision, I could hardly make out his face. My breathing became short and I felt my knees go weaker than before.

I can't blame you, I wanted to tell him. Maybe I could've done something to help him.

I knew that was a lie, but it seemed to take away the bitterness and transform it into a gut wrenching guilt I forced myself to face.

"If I couldn't save him," I managed, my voice shaky. "Then maybe I could save you."

I managed to look him in the eye and I saw him relax. He pulled me into a hug and held me for one lengthy moment. I didn't even know him-- yet I was willing to pay for his dinner and he was wanting to comfort me.

He let me pull out three ten dollar bills and I pressed them into his hands.

"Keep the change," I said, forcing a weak smile. He saw right trough me as he stared at me confused.

I tore out of his grasp and ran for the parking lot. One part of me wanted to stay with him and get to know him. So many questions ran through my mind, and I didn't know where to start. Why are we just now speaking? Did he really know it was my cousin his father operated on? Did that mean his parents weren't split? Was his family okay? What was he doing here?

And I have never spoken to him in this time. Why did I even care?

Because I made you this way, a voice whispered. I made you to care for him.

The thought brought me to a halt right in front of the dark doors to exit the theater. I mulled over the thought in my head, wondering what it meant, refusing to move until I resolved it. I started at the silver beam that separated the double doors for what felt like eternity when a hand was on my elbow.

I spun around, my tears now gone. Robby was safe, he was fine.

Casey swallowed, his eyes boring into mine.

"Why now?" I asked, cracking a grin.

"I just... I just caught a glimpse of you and couldn't stop looking," he said, seeming shy. I've never heard of him being shy and it unnerved me a little.

It occurred to me that I was enjoying his attention. Maybe I wanted to help him because I've been wanting his attention all along. I don't recall thinking about him often, but maybe -- just maybe -- I was supposed to care for him.

His eyes softened and a smile came across his face. He glanced up.

"Mistletoe," he stated.

Before I had a chance to look up to check, he was pressing a firm kiss on my forehead. Heat radiated from him as we were close for a moment, then he stepped back. I was sure that my face was red.

He pressed a napkin in my hand.

"I've always wondered about you," he said thoughtfully. I laughed a little.

"See you around, Mayla," he told me. Then he walked away, back to his sisters without a second glance back.

That's when I looked over my head and smiled when I saw it.

Nothing.

{12.12.15}
[PC: tentree || ig]
(Word Count: 2439)